My Mom Told Me I Look Anorexic

I had friends and even family resent me when I was in great shape. They pressured me to eat what they were eating, because it was just one meal. But it's alway just one meal, or someone's this or that going on. I've gained it all back and so mad at myself. I've realized I have to look out for myself. Which means I can bring something healthy to a party and still enjoy my family and friends. If I want cake I'll wait until it' my birthday. Lol. I think people sometimes get uncomfortable with themselves, not you, and want you to be more like them so they don't have to take a good hard look at themselves and what they should be doing. Hang in there. Try to be positive and maybe you'll rub off on your mom. Hugs for you, I know it's hard.

Sounds to me like she was just joking. (especially after the "JK Go Girl!" part)

These people are just jealous.

Oh dear.....sorry that your Mum's comments have left you reeling. From what you have described you have a wonderful, loving relationship with her and this....well, her joke fell flat.

I am sure she didn't mean the words literally......and I bet that if she knew how her response made you feel she would be terribly apologetic and remorseful. I have had many foot in mouth type situations over the years but in the end as humans we aren't perfect and Mum's cross lines that they perhaps should have remained behind.....we stuff up just like everyone else.

Maybe have a bit of a heart to heart with her.....discussing or commenting on people's weight loss/change is ALWAYS a tricky area to navigate that's why many prefer to just say nothing - it's safer, for everyone.

I totally understand too the pain caused by unsolicited comments - have had MANY derogatory comments tossed my way, especially lately as I am underweight due to ill health....I have been called Skeletor, Starvin' Marvin'......and just yesterday at the supermarket told me I has better hold on tight to my husband because it was windy outside and I'd probably blow away......I didn't know them from a bar of soap.....it was very distressing.

I have a theory that people often decide that commenting on size is OK and justified if the person has lost weight, average weight, lighter than themselves or God forbid if you are underweight then you are FAIR GAME......they feel as tho they are doing you a favour and helping you. Maybe it's jealousy maybe it's genuine concern or maybe they are just being thoughtless idiots.

I am sure you and your Mum will work this out. You look wonderful....healthy and very pretty.

(Said in Mum overtones....nothing creepy)

Congratulations and Best Wishes :flowerforyou:

I think you need to be honest with your mom and tell her that her comment hurt you, whether she meant it or not.

My Mom told me I should get breast implants and then I guess to soften it she said she would even at her age :noway:

I think for those very close to us the support comes with some trepidation, they want us to be happy and healthy but may have some concern that the weight loss while exciting is not as life changing as we may think or they have some concern for us if we don't maintain it - not everyone but I think for quite a few!

Sometimes those comments can hurt and even though it did not hurt your feelings it did confuse you a bit, I think a little from both sides (mom and weight loss survivor ) your mom was just trying to give you a little insight that she still needs time to adjust to the new you!!!

Congratulations on the weight loss, and just do what you feel is best for you.

Your mom totally supports you. She as teasing - I totally think she is saying that she loved you when you were fat and she loves you now, and you're progress is super awesome.

Really do. She is totally on your side, Girl. She loves you.

Edit: you look beautiful!

Yeah, I agree with this. One of my mom's compliments on my weight loss was, "you've lost one of your chins!" lol
Some people are just better with compliments than others. If it really bothers you, say something. Otherwise, just know she loves you and has an odd way of showing it.

Mums can be so cruel - last week, my mum told my husband that I needed some help because "there's obviously something wrong if shes going to the gym at 5am every day and doing all this fitness stuff". never mind that Ive been doing it for 2 years now and finally feeling happy with my body! I even loved a photograph of me which was taken last weekend - actually 8 photos! - and despite moaning constantly over the past 15 years that she hasn't got a decent photo of me, suddenly she doesn't want any of these because I'm not with husband and kids!!

you just can't win sometimes :-) x

You look great! She's probably just used to seeing you at a certain weight so you look very thin TO HER. *HUGS*

So, I was feeling good today! I got on the scale, had a great weigh-in, I'm really starting to notice the physical changes and I felt confident! So I put on a dress and decided today I was going to be super fly! Well, I had one of my co-workers take a picture of me and I forwarded it to my mom. My mom and I are like sisters. Super close. Well, we have several states between us so we don't often see each other with the exception of Skype here and there. Well, I sent her the picture so she could see my progress and instead of getting encouragement, she says:

I miss the fat Denita. You look Anorexic. Let me inject you with some fat. JK Go girl.

I was like, HUH?! :indifferent: Who says that?! And what kind of encouragement is that?! Does the "JK Go girl" erase everything else that was said?! I was just kind of flabbergasted by the response. I wasn't hurt, I was just confused. When someone is clearly trying to show you success, why would you deflate it? My mom is usually the most positive, supportive, and caring person I know, and everyone I know loves her. So I wasn't expecting that response.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this type of unexpected, not-so-postive feedback during your weight loss journey?

You know your body. Unless you are underweight, her comment about 'looking anorexic' is not really something to reflect on. If she does it again, I would be annoyed and question her about it. She probably feels a tad insecure or intimidated by your positive health changes and it just slipped out.

I deal with no negative feedback because I challenge anyone who says anything. My mother once said I looked all boney when I started weight lifting; I did not take that well. I mean seriously... I was gaining (muscle) and she was being dumb. -_- I lift. So sue me.

My husband says my stomach is deflating, which sounds harsh, but it's true:)