Is my trainer starving me??

finish your sessions with her but ignore her nutrition advice then get out of there. As one guy on here always says, "If you can't do this for the rest of your life then it is wrong!" Eating shouldn't be a diet, it is a lifestyle. Your body is in starvation mode. You MUST have fuel to workout and lift weights. Some trainers truly are idiots!

Your advice makes a ton of sense and also has a lot of common sense in it. I'm thinking of either netting 1200 or just eating more in general (the 1200-1500 range you mentioned) because it is needed for me.

My weight loss has stalled for awhile or at least become very slow and my stamina has decreased considerably.

So I think I definitely need to decrease my discomfort and eat more than I have been eating. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to start following the net rule on MFP but what I DO know is that I need more calories to compensate for the activity I have been doing. Also I may decrease my exercise activity so there's less of a humongous deficit.

This sounds pretty crazy, and not healthy, as your body seems to be telling you already with your severe hunger/binges. If you were eating over 2000cals a day, I could see the burning 800-1000 being reasonable and not terribly bad for you. Only getting a net of a couple hundred calories a day though? That's bonkers.

Yes! I would always ask her if she was sure I'm not supposed to be netting my calories. She'd say yes. She logs on my fitness pal and never eats back net. It really baffles me.

'Eating back' and 'net calories' aren't a thing outside of the MFP eating plan, and I think a lot of people use MFP to log but not their eating plan.

Most people who want to lose weight, especially for a looming event, use exercise to maximize their deficit and use food to get their basic nutrition, as in vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc. You don't have to get some major portion of daily calories burned from today's eating since those can be funded through 'deficit spending', which is the definition of how weight loss works. Though obviously there is a trade-off between discomfort and speed of weight loss. But there is no situation where eating more causes more weight loss, just less discomfort. But if your discomfort is unacceptable, definitely eat more. But unless it has some effect like it makes you log better or comply better or exercise more, eating more won't increase your rate of loss.

But I don't think I could comply with a plan for long that had me burning 800-1000 in the gym and eating 1100. That's like something from Extreme Weight Loss (though there it's more like burning 2000-3000 in the gym). But I also wouldn't spend hours in the gym burning 1000 and then eat it all back if I wanted to shrink for a wedding, either. I'd stick with the 'normal' way-- spend 3-5 hours a week at exercise and eat 1200-1500 calories/day. That's what most accepted diet plans recommend, far and away.

Thank you! Her exercises are good but I feel like she has no idea what she is talking about as far as nutrition.

if thats how you feel then why not stick with her and just ignore her dietary advice

I am currently 5'2'' and 139 lbs. With my trainer I would do cardio 5x a day at 800 calories (90 mins). But I might decrease that to an hour at 400-500 calories. Strength training twice a week, an hour each, about 400-450 calories per session.

Your advice makes a ton of sense and also has a lot of common sense in it. I'm thinking of either netting 1200 or just eating more in general (the 1200-1500 range you mentioned) because it is needed for me.

My weight loss has stalled for awhile or at least become very slow and my stamina has decreased considerably.

So I think I definitely need to decrease my discomfort and eat more than I have been eating. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to start following the net rule on MFP but what I DO know is that I need more calories to compensate for the activity I have been doing. Also I may decrease my exercise activity so there's less of a humongous deficit.

This sounds pretty crazy, and not healthy, as your body seems to be telling you already with your severe hunger/binges. If you were eating over 2000cals a day, I could see the burning 800-1000 being reasonable and not terribly bad for you. Only getting a net of a couple hundred calories a day though? That's bonkers.

Yes! I would always ask her if she was sure I'm not supposed to be netting my calories. She'd say yes. She logs on my fitness pal and never eats back net. It really baffles me.

'Eating back' and 'net calories' aren't a thing outside of the MFP eating plan, and I think a lot of people use MFP to log but not their eating plan.

Most people who want to lose weight, especially for a looming event, use exercise to maximize their deficit and use food to get their basic nutrition, as in vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc. You don't have to get some major portion of daily calories burned from today's eating since those can be funded through 'deficit spending', which is the definition of how weight loss works. Though obviously there is a trade-off between discomfort and speed of weight loss. But there is no situation where eating more causes more weight loss, just less discomfort. But if your discomfort is unacceptable, definitely eat more. But unless it has some effect like it makes you log better or comply better or exercise more, eating more won't increase your rate of loss.

But I don't think I could comply with a plan for long that had me burning 800-1000 in the gym and eating 1100. That's like something from Extreme Weight Loss (though there it's more like burning 2000-3000 in the gym). But I also wouldn't spend hours in the gym burning 1000 and then eat it all back if I wanted to shrink for a wedding, either. I'd stick with the 'normal' way-- spend 3-5 hours a week at exercise and eat 1200-1500 calories/day. That's what most accepted diet plans recommend, far and away.

What is your ht/wt and how much are you going to exercise. From there we can get easily get a pretty basic BMR/TDEE for you.

finish your sessions with her but ignore her nutrition advice then get out of there. As one guy on here always says, "If you can't do this for the rest of your life then it is wrong!" Eating shouldn't be a diet, it is a lifestyle. Your body is in starvation mode. You MUST have fuel to workout and lift weights. Some trainers truly are idiots!

Can I eat at a 20% deficit to TDEE for the rest of my life? (Not counting dying from lack of food.) Does that mean it would be wrong for me to do so for some period of time?

Her body isn't in starvation mode.