22 and slowly dying

2

Replies

  • soteniliene
    soteniliene Posts: 2 Member
    I feel like my only options are gastric bypass, lapband or end it all.....

    A lapband would likely cause more problems for you than it would solve. The only thing that a lapband would do is to lower the size of your stomach, it wouldn't take away that "need to eat it" feeling. In the end, quite a few patients who get them end up stretching their stomachs out even more because of it.

    I would definitely reach out to a doctor. Visit your local mental health clinic and see what they have to say. There are a lot of resources that they have that you may not be able to find on your own, and usually at low cost!

    Don't give up :)
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
    You have done yourself a favor by posting your feelings here. Don't hide them from anyone. This site will give you a community to help you through your struggle and as good as it is you may need professional help. Seek medical help. They can direct you to groups that you can join for support. Don't hide. That will not help you.
    My son played football in high school and college. He tore his ACL and is in a struggle now with his weight. He is over three bills as they call it. An ex OL. Portion control is so important as is the choice of what you eat. I see his struggle every day.
    I have heard about a group called TOPS. Taking off pounds sensibly. See if there is one near you. I think it's either free or low cost.
    Please please stay on this site. Add me as a friend. I will send a request. This is a good place for you to find help support and motivation.
    -an ex football Mom.
  • Lila204
    Lila204 Posts: 5 Member
    If you feel tempted towards something sweet try to have water or another low calorie drink instead. I found sparkling water works besst! Also if you log your calories here it will really help you. Hoep you can find the motivation to stick to a diet.xx:smile:
  • crystalbluewolf13
    crystalbluewolf13 Posts: 197 Member
    Sorry to hear you are having a tough time lovely. If you are an emotional eater (i am) the best thing i've found is only stock the cupboard and fridge with healthy foods, that way if you want to snack it's healthy and not unhealthy. And if you do want unhealthy food you have to get up and go get it. I'd go and speak to your GP about counselling and if there is anything they can do to help. The main problem you might find is that you might be too heavy for surgery which means you would need to lose weight to be eligible for a gastric band etc so they should be able to help you.
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    I feel like my only options are gastric bypass, lapband or end it all.....

    Your life is not over. You should not "end it all". You require medical attention, a doctor and a social support system. You can do it. Maybe start a weightloss blog, if you want an online support net. There are those who can relate, you are not alone.

    Exactly. You're not slowly dying. This is still reversible. Have a good read around here, you will be amazed at the amount of people who started off like you.
    Don't wallow in it, seek help and build up a strong support network here on MFP.
  • Take a picture of yourself and put it on the fridge, then take an old picture of yourself or find a picture of what you want to look like as a motivational reminder. Now, I've done this and it kind of works, but I also put a new background on my phone (one of those before and after kinds). It is a picture I found on google of someone who looked like I do now and now looks like I want to. For me that helps more than the one on the fridge bc I am always near my phone. I also cook my food 2-3 days ahead of time so I don't have any excuses when I am in a hurry or just don't feel like cooking, etc. Another thing I like is literally having a schedule to workout and eat. I'm not much for working out at home by myself-I give myself too many excuses, but I have found that if I schedule it like a doctor's appointment I do much better. Make sure you do it for atleast three days in a row, no matter how much you really don't want to, then you will be surprised at how much easier it becomes. It takes 3 days to make a habit, but 3 months to break one. Try to make a new good habit. Hope this helps, feel free to message me if you want.
  • jasonsdragon
    jasonsdragon Posts: 21 Member
    Hi,
    My first suggestion is to see a physician who specializes in obesity or endicrinology. For someone so young you need to see what is causing this. The older you get the more difficult it is to take care of. Surgery is an option but also a MEDICALLY SUPERVISED" weight loss plan is in order. A good way to estimate your Basal Caloric Needs is to take your current weight and depending on your activity. Multiply your weight by 12 for sedentary, by 30 for moderately active and by 40 for VERY active. this will be the calories you will need daily to MAINTAIN your current weight. Most often a nutritionist or registered dietician will work out a calorie goal of 500 to 600 calories per day deficiet to loose weight.
    Good Luck and keep us posted on your plans and goals:happy: :happy:
    Anita
  • Jztime
    Jztime Posts: 138 Member
    I totally get what you are saying. I honestly feel if I can do it ANYONE can. I have been where you are and there is hope. A little will power and maybe some therapy and you will be well on your way.

    There are some therapy services that are in the US that are partially funded. Use the internet to have a look when I get home later I will see what I can dig out for you.

    In the meantime try and at least work on your snacking and maybe making other small changes like no added sugar drinks?

    Baby steps...
  • I'm doing juiceplus and it's really nutritious and makes you burn fat quickly! Low cholesterol and 26 fruit and veg so you can't go wrong really.....


    if anyone's interested add me on facebook

    facebook.com/ashleyskeepfit
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Hello myfitnesspal community. I'm a 22 year old male and I can slowly feel myself dying. I have always been overweight but not to this severity. when I was 16 as a freshman in high school I weighed about 250lbs. I played football so I was pretty active for the year. Sophomore year I jumped upto 280lbs and I had stopped playing football. At the end of my sophomore year I had started taking a ADHD medication that had a appetite suppressant as a side effect within 1 month I had dropped down to 233lbs. Ever since then I had only gone up in weight reaching a high of 360lbs for over a year... in the last 6 months I've gone up to 400 lbs. I don't want to live like this anymore. I've tried every fad diet and some of my sister's training but nothing has ever worked for me. I would say my daily calorie intake is between 4000-7000. I know that is way above my means but I can't help it. If something is there to eat I will eat it. I feel disgusted with myself. I want to be fit and healthy for the first time in my life. Can anyone help me.

    The only person that can help you is you. We can give you advice and support but the action has to come form you. You've written a post so it means that you realise something has to change. There are some great links people have posted and also as others have suggested a visit to discuss this with your doctor could be a great next step.

    So you've made one step by admitting and realising you need to do something so now for the next step. Good luck

    This - the ball is in your court. I'm only going to add that you should definitely do it NOW. Please do not wait for years and years trying every fad that comes along. You'll end up way down the road with nothing to show except more depression and frustration. Read the links posted earlier in your thread and educate yourself on how to make your body the awesome machine it can be. Work hard, eat right (and enough) and enjoy the benefits of health - while you're still young.

    ^ All of this. I'll add that there are a handful of members here who have lost 150+ pounds. I'd seek them out. You can be healthy and you are capable of making the change. It's a matter of actually doing it. That's up to you.
  • maram29
    maram29 Posts: 100 Member
    Baby steps. My penny's worth of advice is to start building a healthy support team...people who will encourage your steps toward a healthy you. You can do this. You've seen here that others have. You deserve to be healthy. Keep trying. Just keep trying. You are worth it.
    :flowerforyou:
  • LStonePTL
    LStonePTL Posts: 31 Member
    Gastric Bypass is a great option for some people, however if you don't learn self-control even that won't work. My Husband was 353 lbs last summer when he was told that as a 40 year old he would need a hip replacement yet the Dr. who told him that would never do it on a morbidly obese man. SOoooo we got to work first eating healthy, smaller portions, drinking lots of water or calorie free drinks but most importantly we prayed with out the help from the Lord we wouldn't have gotten as far as we have. With diet alone my husband lost 50lbs by Christmas. We joined the YMCA and started exercising and he lost another 25lbs before he had the gastric sleeve surgery. Had he not learned the self control before the surgery I don't believe he would have done so well or that his future in maintaining the weight loss will be good. He is now down 130lbs and feels so much better. I pray that you find strength, guidance and comfort in the Lord.
  • karenrich77
    karenrich77 Posts: 292 Member
    I feel like my only options are gastric bypass, lapband or end it all.....

    I started out at 370 pounds and in 20 weeks I have lost 46 pounds!!!!

    Make small changes but seriously, get serious about it, nothing will work unless you put EVERYTHING of yourself into it, your mind , body and soul, that's about all I can say.

    I used to be where you are, no one is saying it will be easy, but every one of us will tell you YOU ARE WORTH IT!
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    Depending on the other medical factors at play, gastric bypass may be a good option for you. The opinions vary on this site regarding whether or not you *should* or "should not* have weight loss surgery. I've lost 200+ pounds, maintained the loss for nearly five years, and I would never tell someone what they *should* or *should not* do, but speaking to your Dr will shed some light on your options.

    Best of luck.
  • jtrack3d
    jtrack3d Posts: 91
    My wife still has iron issues as a result of gastric bypass. She has to go to the cancer institute and get iron infusions next to people getting chemo... a real downer.

    I think you HAVE to accept the fact that is THERE IS NO QUICK FIX!

    At 1-2 lbs of weight loss per week you might feel like you have made no progress and give up. But 2 lbs a week is the rate you wanna go and it's gonna take a LOOOONG TIME to do it and not stress your body. It also gives your skin time to recover.

    Keep logging, keep the deficit going... you CAN do it.
  • mnwalkingqueen
    mnwalkingqueen Posts: 1,299 Member
    You should try talking to your doctor they can set you up with the right people to help you from dietitian to counseling. I would agree with others start slow doing just one or two changes till you feel that change is under control then add a new change. That is what I am doing. My goal says 10lbs but I need to lose at least 100lbs. I am starting small to not get discouraged.
  • kcollesano1
    kcollesano1 Posts: 4 Member
    Hey man, I am new to the site. I am only a year older than you and I'm a big guy, I'm 270, and I understand where you're coming from. You have to realize that your problem is inside your head and heart. You can check with a doctor to make sure that you don't have any underlying conditions that make it difficult to lose weight... but it sounds like your attitude is on the negative side. The thing is... to do the work, you need to want it.... and you need to want it more than the stuff that's causing you to gain weight. I used to eat fast food and chinese on a daily basis.... I felt sick. I had tried dieting and exercise prior and failed... and the reason I failed is that I was depressed and my heart wasn't in it. Last month, I started talking to someone about my depression, and talking seemed to be just the ticket for me. I no longer wake up feeling negative, and I have the drive and energy to be consistent with my goals and not fall back on poor habits.... you really have to want it... and not just say it, but desire inside to the point you won't let anything stop you. It'll be a lot of hard work for you, and it will take some time. But if you truly want it... you can have it. You don't need to starve yourself, you van eat plenty (granted you read nutrition facts and eat healthier choices) and as long as you try to be as active as possible, you'll see progress.
  • mummma
    mummma Posts: 402 Member
    i think everyone has everything covered advice wise. i just wanna say YOU CAN DO THIS! add me if you need some support :)
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    Everyone has to start somewhere. Good for you for taking the first step. A previous poster linked you to Ed... you might want to send him friend request. He's amazing, though he's not on my list. I know of him.

    As for where to begin, I think seeing a professional is a good starting point. You need to work with someone to anchor down the psychological piece to it as well as the physical.

    Good luck, OP. I know you can.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    You have taken a brave and important first step: Reaching out for help.

    I would love to be your friend if you're willing to give this a shot.

    There are people who want to see you live. Remember that.
  • Sarahsteve7kids
    Sarahsteve7kids Posts: 146 Member
    the best thing to do is not to do too much too soon. if your eating 4-7000 calories stick to 4000 for a few weeks so its not too much of a shock and gradually cut down by a few hundred calories a week there after. try trading what u eat and drink for a low calorie alternative i.e instead of cola have cola zero .Also don't eat what you don't like because its low cal . you'd be surprised how many calories you can cut out without even noticing . Ive struggled with my weight too and managed to lose it all although i have gained it all back and im trying to lose it again, but this time i don't see it as a diet but a change in the way i live . its hard i know but if you ever want to talk your welcome to add me as a friend .

    Excellent advice! I really like too how you said don't eat something you don't like because it is low cal! I wasted so many calories on food I didn't even like because I thought I should eat it!!!
  • journalistjen
    journalistjen Posts: 265 Member
    You are most definitely not alone. Even a drug abuse counselor may be able to help you if you have a food addiction problem. I know I do. I love the way comfort foods make me feel because they produce certain chemicals like dopamine (the body's natural pain killers) in your body. We all have to start somewhere. Just know that what you're aiming for is consistency, and it will take years to lose the weight, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is better that way. Sometimes this place has free webinars, and they may be helpful:

    http://psychologyofeating.com/
  • ZBuffBod
    ZBuffBod Posts: 297 Member
    Congratulations! You made the first big step by acknowledging that you have a problem. The second big step that you made was asking for help. This all begins in the MIND!

    And you are NOT alone! Ending it all is NOT a choice. There are people who love you sight unseen simply because you are God's creation. There is a saying: HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT? ONE BITE AT TIME!!

    So take that first bite. It may be going from drinking 3 bottles of soda a day to 2 bottles, but do something no matter how small.

    Lots of folks have posted some great success stories. Read them and be inspired. The MFP community is here to cheer you to the finish line!
    :flowerforyou:
  • klaff411
    klaff411 Posts: 169 Member
    Hello myfitnesspal community. I'm a 22 year old male and I can slowly feel myself dying. I have always been overweight but not to this severity. when I was 16 as a freshman in high school I weighed about 250lbs. I played football so I was pretty active for the year. Sophomore year I jumped upto 280lbs and I had stopped playing football. At the end of my sophomore year I had started taking a ADHD medication that had a appetite suppressant as a side effect within 1 month I had dropped down to 233lbs. Ever since then I had only gone up in weight reaching a high of 360lbs for over a year... in the last 6 months I've gone up to 400 lbs. I don't want to live like this anymore. I've tried every fad diet and some of my sister's training but nothing has ever worked for me. I would say my daily calorie intake is between 4000-7000. I know that is way above my means but I can't help it. If something is there to eat I will eat it. I feel disgusted with myself. I want to be fit and healthy for the first time in my life. Can anyone help me.

    baby steps..don't try to take on too much at once
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    How about Overeaters Anonymous? I know people who have had much success with this since it addresses the emotional aspects of overeating, feeling helpless...You are so young, you have the rest of your life to turn this around. Do not give up!
  • yellowlemoned
    yellowlemoned Posts: 335 Member
    It's achievable, it's not going to be easy, and it's not going to be quick, but if you're really serious about losing the weight you absolutely can.

    The first step is admitting you need help, which you've already done. The second, and hardest, is actually doing something about it.

    As many people above have mentioned, you should probably go see a doctor. Even if they aren't a nutrition expert, they can point you in the direction of someone who can help you. Look into an over eaters support group or an online nutritionist consultation.

    If you can't get to a doctor right away, at least start logging everything you eat for the next week. This will give you a clear idea of how many calories you eat per day. Take baby steps, if you ate 2 large burgers and a large fry, try only having 1 burger and a fry. Then work your way down to a medium size fry. It might be months down the road before you get to that point, but the next step is to reduce those calories. Once you're comfortable and don't feel hungry ALL the time, try to get down to your recommended calorie allowances. If your're currently eating more than double your recommended daily calories, trying cutting your calories in half to start with. Also, drink LOTS of water. You might be surprised how often you're mistaking thirst for hunger. I still have that problem, but if you can drink a glass of water when you feel hungry, wait 5 minutes and see if you are still hungry, you'll be able to cut those extra calories from your diet pretty easily.

    Everybody on this website is here because of weight problems. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to gain weight, and some are here to maintain the weight they have lost. Nobody here is going to judge you or make fun of you, and if by some small chance someone does, you've got about 1000 other people here right behind you supporting you all the way. The point I'm getting at, is you're never alone here and if you need someone to ask advice, someone to celebrate your future success with, or even just some friends to hang out with online for a while, we're all here to do that for you. :)

    Best of luck to you! :D
  • stevefisher4274
    stevefisher4274 Posts: 12 Member
    I know exactly how you are feeling only I am 20+ years older than you and until recently have been anticipating my first heart attack for years. I have lost about 40 lbs since March, 25 or so since I started at MFP. This is a marathon, 1 - 2 lbs per week, not a sprint. I know I was eating 5000+ calories a day and not exercising so I have been up to 450 lbs for a few years now. I am a few pounds short of getting into the three's. I have found in the past that dieting for me, in the state of mind, fitness and lifestyle I was living to be futile. What I have chosen to do is to follow three simple rules:

    1. Stop the fast foods and deep fried foods
    2. Eat like a normal sized person (find a role model, for me its my wife) and eat like that person, and eat only until you start to feel full
    3. Get out of the chair, you don't need to go to the gym, just move everyday over and above your current activity level

    I do keep track of my food and try to have a net calorie intake of 1500 - 2000 calories. You will find that after a couple of weeks you can eat almost whatever you want and your appetite will control how much. In fact some days I have a hard time getting enough calories because I am not nearly as hungry as I used to think I was.

    When we get to be what I would term normal size, then we can worry about working out and measuring foods but at this point, it is just important to change our lifestyle.

    I hope this helps you a little bit anyways, I know you can get on track, feel free to add me for support.

    Best of luck.
  • I have been up and down in my weight many times and the hardest thing is to get started! I wish when I was in my 20's and facing an uphill battle that I had myfitnesspal because really using it honestly and truly makes you accountable and starts adjusting your mind set. It is a hard battle but mentally in just a few weeks once you find the control you will feel in control and start living again! Having been at the beginning point many times in my life I would suggest starting at a doctor and that if you can finance it you find a good gym--not a 10 dollar a month kind of deal, but one that has good certified trainers, offers wellness assessments and some personal training to get you on the right path. We all know in theory how to lose weight but getting a real plan by a professional really makes a difference.

    Start slow. You are not going to do a 90 minute boot camp video on the first out, in fact 10 minutes of walking might be a good start but my most recent recharge after no exercise in many moons and I improved dramatically in just a week. You also cannot starve. Focus on being active. Turn off the TV and video games and do something, anything else you enjoy-shopping, going to the arcade, bowling, swimming...playing cards even...you burn more calories doing just about anything else because you will burn more calories and be less tempted to sit and eat. Do the exercises you cannot do now in the pool or the lake or the ocean and eventually some of that will translate to land.

    Don't go on a crash diet. Really allow myfitnesspal to guide you in how many calories you need--start with just a pound loss a week goal and then as you gain control you can add more--the first step is to realizing some life modifications you can make--like taking sugar out of your coffee or perhaps your late night snack is bigger than your lunch. Another trick I have used is instead of cutting my intake I force myself to eat a big salad at lunch or dinner with no dressing just lemon pepper and then I wait five minutes before a meal and eat til I am full. It helps curb the appetite for the high fat and high carb items.

    LIke you I have ADD and focusing on long bursts on a treadmill or any other exercise is mentally painful. I opt to use different cardio machines and break up the boring and have found that weight training is not only more effective but keeps me from being bored. That might not be for you, but find something you enjoy--martial arts, biking, whatever because you will stick with it.

    Happy to support you! I think we all need a group of people who understand to keep us on track!
  • I am a nurse on a bariatric surgery unit. I can tell you that surgery is NOT an easy way out. Many of our patients come in thinking it will be a quick fix for them. But the truth is you have to be even more mentally ready for a new lifestyle than you would have to be with gradually making healthier decisions with a slower, steady weight loss.

    I have seen some great success stories, but I've also seen people come back in the very next week with health complications and additional surgeries because they tried to return to their normal eating patterns.

    You are 22. You have SO much life ahead of you! You have gotten some really great advice on here already. Just make a few small changes to start out and I guarantee you will see a difference!

    Feel free to add me if you would like some friends for support!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    Lots of great advice here ..... lower your calories, choose healthier foods, and move more each day .....

    It's your decisions each day that will turn your life around !

    A member recently wrote this & I found it very true:

    What is it that you have to change in order to make that “lifestyle change”? YOUR MIND ! Your mind is by far the most important asset for any sort of change to take place. If you can't motivate yourself, if you can't give yourself the ambition to actually do what it takes to succeed, then you can try every cliché diet or adopt any “lifestyle” under the sun, but nothing in the end will change ...... because your mind wasn't prepared to want success more than anything.

    I have this sticky on my laptop:

    If we wait for the moment when everything is ready to begin something, we will never begin. And when we want to give up, remember why we started !

    Best of luck to you :drinker: