my husband thinks im not eating enough
JoMoMOMx3
Posts: 77
Every day he comments "that's it? You're full?" or "you're done (eating) already? You really aren't going to finish that?"
I'm not counting calories. I've done that many times in the past and I never succeed with it. I get burnt out. I feel like I didn't become healthier I just learned what junk food i could get away with eating, how much, i feel like it consumes me. I become obsesse.. I was at about 30 pounds lost at one point by counting cals and it just got to me. I quit. I was tried of it. I gained all the weight back PLUS some.
well I've started just eating healthier, smaller portions, I've cut out the pop, I've learned to say no to eating out of boredom. I've finally lost the weight I had regained plus an additional 7 pounds. But my husband (who is very supportive of my weight loss journey) seems concerned.
it has me wondering if I should count cals for a few days just to see where I'm at with them or if I should continue with what I'm doing. I honestly feel full. I do have times where I want to eat but won't allow myself because I don't feel hungry and I feel its just temptation and me being bored.
I just don't want to obsess about calories if my body is telling me its full but I also don't want my husband worried either.
suggestions?
I'm not counting calories. I've done that many times in the past and I never succeed with it. I get burnt out. I feel like I didn't become healthier I just learned what junk food i could get away with eating, how much, i feel like it consumes me. I become obsesse.. I was at about 30 pounds lost at one point by counting cals and it just got to me. I quit. I was tried of it. I gained all the weight back PLUS some.
well I've started just eating healthier, smaller portions, I've cut out the pop, I've learned to say no to eating out of boredom. I've finally lost the weight I had regained plus an additional 7 pounds. But my husband (who is very supportive of my weight loss journey) seems concerned.
it has me wondering if I should count cals for a few days just to see where I'm at with them or if I should continue with what I'm doing. I honestly feel full. I do have times where I want to eat but won't allow myself because I don't feel hungry and I feel its just temptation and me being bored.
I just don't want to obsess about calories if my body is telling me its full but I also don't want my husband worried either.
suggestions?
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Replies
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That is a good idea.
Count calories for what you ate today and then for the next three days so you have a picture of what is going on.0 -
What do YOU think you should do?0
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What do YOU think you should do?
very good question :laugh:
I stopped logging several months ago, but have recently renewed my wish to continue to lose weight. So, for the next week or so, I'm back to weighing & logging foods.
I just want to make sure I'm not under eating while eating intuitively. I suppose you have nothing to lose to log, so I say, why not? :drinker:0 -
That is a good idea.
Count calories for what you ate today and then for the next three days so you have a picture of what is going on.
I didn't portion anything out today but I could try tomorrow. Meats is what frustrates me. I don't have and can't afford a food scale right now so I stick to measuring cups but I know meat should be weighed.0 -
I honestly don't know what i feel I should do. I really just don't want a repeat of history, ya know? But like you said I don't want to be eating too little. I don't FEEL like I am but I don't know that for sure obviously. From someone watching it may look that way and maybe I just don't see it. If I try to log I don't think I'll do it for more then 2-3 days. I eat the same thing just about every day except dinner.What do YOU think you should do?
very good question :laugh:
I stopped logging several months ago, but have recently renewed my wish to continue to lose weight. So, for the next week or so, I'm back to weighing & logging foods.
I just want to make sure I'm not under eating while eating intuitively. I suppose you have nothing to lose to log, so I say, why not? :drinker:0 -
That is a good idea.
Count calories for what you ate today and then for the next three days so you have a picture of what is going on.
I didn't portion anything out today but I could try tomorrow. Meats is what frustrates me. I don't have and can't afford a food scale right now so I stick to measuring cups but I know meat should be weighed.
I got a scale at Walmart for less than 10 bucks and I've had it for over a year and it still works.0 -
Meat should have the weight on it when you buy it, all you have to do is divide the total weight by the number of portions. You can also get a pretty good idea of calories by estimation, I rarely actually measure out my food any more.0
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If you are not losing excessive amount of weight you are probably eating what you should0
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When I ate as I pleased and started logging, I was surprised by how high the calories were.
When I was eating an extremely limited kind of healthy food, I decided to log the calories just for the hell of it, to see what they were. I was surprised by how low they were.
Go ahead and log. You might be surprised!
If your husband is a good guy and not an alarmist or the sort to be jealous of your weight loss and he's really supportive, looking out for your best interests and concerned...take a look. See if there is some basis to his concerns. Can't hurt.
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Hey Jo
I'd agree with logging and calorie counting just for a few days so you know where you are. That way you can check that you're still within healthy limits and reassure your husband. Also, if you are under-eating, you can look at a way of adding in a few more extra healthy calories.
The likelihood is that you will be right though; if you're feeling full and just holding back on the boredom eating, I'd say you're probably not far off with your calories. If you were significantly under-eating, I think you'd feel it.0 -
Are you exercising as well? It may be worth tracking for a few days, including any exercise, just so you can determine where you're at. Under eating has consequences as well... you don't want to dip too low that you enter into a starvation fat storage mode.
Having the numbers may help you feel more empowered especially when you feel the need to stand up for yourself and your diet!I honestly don't know what i feel I should do. I really just don't want a repeat of history, ya know? But like you said I don't want to be eating too little. I don't FEEL like I am but I don't know that for sure obviously. From someone watching it may look that way and maybe I just don't see it. If I try to log I don't think I'll do it for more then 2-3 days. I eat the same thing just about every day except dinner.0 -
Honestly it really can't hurt. Best case scenario you can show your husband your 3 days of calorie counting and go 'See I'm eating just fine!' Worst case scenario you discover you aren't eating enough and then at least you know. I know it sucks but like GI Joe says 'Knowing is half the battle' lol.0
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You are doing exactly the right and smart thing. Do not worry about calories or weight; but DO keep track of what you eat and make sure it is all beneficial to your body. Other than that, I am proud of you for listening to your body when it tells you it is full. Again, maybe log everything you eat just to make sure you are getting the needed nutrients, not to count calories. Show the log to your husband to prove to him you are eating enough. Keep up the good work.Every day he comments "that's it? You're full?" or "you're done (eating) already? You really aren't going to finish that?"
I'm not counting calories. I've done that many times in the past and I never succeed with it. I get burnt out. I feel like I didn't become healthier I just learned what junk food i could get away with eating, how much, i feel like it consumes me. I become obsesse.. I was at about 30 pounds lost at one point by counting cals and it just got to me. I quit. I was tried of it. I gained all the weight back PLUS some.
well I've started just eating healthier, smaller portions, I've cut out the pop, I've learned to say no to eating out of boredom. I've finally lost the weight I had regained plus an additional 7 pounds. But my husband (who is very supportive of my weight loss journey) seems concerned.
it has me wondering if I should count cals for a few days just to see where I'm at with them or if I should continue with what I'm doing. I honestly feel full. I do have times where I want to eat but won't allow myself because I don't feel hungry and I feel its just temptation and me being bored.
I just don't want to obsess about calories if my body is telling me its full but I also don't want my husband worried either.
suggestions?0 -
Agree with the advice to log for a few days, just to get a general idea of the amounts what you should be eating - for me this is the most valuable part of MFP.
It took my partner a while to get used to my changed eating habits - but that's becuase I had been horribly OVEREATING for all the time I've know him! It was a change for both of us to get used to me eating portions more appropraite to my size/height/weight! 0 -
His comments sound critical rather than supportive.0
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If it helps any, I didn't want more than my 350 calorie lunch today. I ate damn peanut butter, just trying to get myself to eat something I then became nauseated and have other pain, too.
I will, of course, call the doctor. Something new (or intensified) is wrong with me, which is par for the course for me and no big deal.
I mention it only because sometimes your body tricks you. You think you can't eat, but you're actually sick. Double-check, for your husband and yourself.
I'll bet you are fine and it will all work out well. But you want to be sure. And then you can tell your husband what we all say so often that they might think we no longer enjoy it: "See? I was right!"
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I honestly don't know what i feel I should do. I really just don't want a repeat of history, ya know? But like you said I don't want to be eating too little. I don't FEEL like I am but I don't know that for sure obviously. From someone watching it may look that way and maybe I just don't see it. If I try to log I don't think I'll do it for more then 2-3 days. I eat the same thing just about every day except dinner.What do YOU think you should do?
very good question :laugh:
I stopped logging several months ago, but have recently renewed my wish to continue to lose weight. So, for the next week or so, I'm back to weighing & logging foods.
I just want to make sure I'm not under eating while eating intuitively. I suppose you have nothing to lose to log, so I say, why not? :drinker:
As a crabby old woman I have to ask: have you lost your mind?
if it ain't broke don't fix it.
Tell your hubby to get counselling if he's got problems.
And ride the wave! Ride that bloody wave till it crashes. Don't jinx yourself, don't second guess yourself, just do what you do do so well.0 -
If you're really keen to see what your instincts say, then make it a blind trial.
I would eat as you are for a few days, write it down, but then check the calories after 3 days.
If it were me, I'd be mentally making very careful choices to "make it fit" into the calorie allowance and be less likely to be actually listening to my body.0 -
And further to that: you've got on there you want to lose over a hundred pounds.I honestly don't know what i feel I should do. I really just don't want a repeat of history, ya know? But like you said I don't want to be eating too little. I don't FEEL like I am but I don't know that for sure obviously. From someone watching it may look that way and maybe I just don't see it. If I try to log I don't think I'll do it for more then 2-3 days. I eat the same thing just about every day except dinner.What do YOU think you should do?
very good question :laugh:
I stopped logging several months ago, but have recently renewed my wish to continue to lose weight. So, for the next week or so, I'm back to weighing & logging foods.
I just want to make sure I'm not under eating while eating intuitively. I suppose you have nothing to lose to log, so I say, why not? :drinker:
As a crabby old woman I have to ask: have you lost your mind?
if it ain't broke don't fix it.
Tell your hubby to get counselling if he's got problems.
And ride the wave! Ride that bloody wave till it crashes. Don't jinx yourself, don't second guess yourself, just do what you do do so well.
Give your husband a punch in the guts for trying to put you off your stride! Where is his head at? You could stop eating for a hundred days and still be fine. Actually, most people could.
Humans as a species wouldn't have survived if they couldn't.
If you want to count calories, count the calories in the pounds of fat you have on your body and calculate how long they'd last.
If I do me, I get not a heck of a lot less than you - 88.8lb. if I times that by 3500 cals, I get 310,800 calories. And if I divide that by the requirement per day for my age, height, exercise level, my tdee is about 2100 cals. which would reduce but I refuse to do calculus and will take an average being 1900 cals. So that's 163.57. I could go 163.57 days without eating, and not die.
that's a whole hibernation period that is. i could hibernate and not die.
Put yourself into context and just don't mess with your juju. Don't let anybody interfere with you and your plan, which is working, which makes perfect sense, and is working. Did I mention it's WORKING?
Sheesh woman. Don't let the bad thoughts into your head. 0 -
My husband thinks the same. Yesterday, after exercise, I ate for dinner protein shake, yogurt, cottage cheese, feta and small whole wheat bun (600 calories!!!). He told me to stop doing that, stop destroying myself. So I asked him what should I eat. I don't have a time for cooking, so this is best solution. He said buy a sandwich or go to Mc'Donalds :noway: We finished discussion here :mad:0
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If you're full, I really wouldn't worry about it. I'm the same as you - if I count calories, I start being bad and making all my calories go to junk food. Maybe you are eating a lot less than before and so it seems like a little bit to him, but that's the whole point. If you want to add some bulk to your diet, but not the calories, just add as many veggies and fruits as you want. Then you'll be eating a lot, but not gaining.
Also, I personally have lost 25 pounds by doing exactly what you have been doing ! Good luck !0 -
To be honest, if all you ate for dinner after a workout was a protein shake, yogurt, cottage cheese, feta and small whole wheat bun then I too could be concerned - I am guessing that if you'd sat down to a plate of salad with a good protein like chicken or something he wouldn't complain so much.
He is seeing what you ate as very small/unnutritious/not very filling and is worrying about you whilst you know how many calories etc it has.
Perhaps you need to adjust some of your meals slightly to show him that you are eating a good plateful of food - it can still be very low cal/healthy!1 -
You are probably right. But I just don't have a time to cook sometimes. And other times it is easier to take this from a fridge. I know, lazy me :blushing:
And I know he is just worried for me although I am doing fine and am almost never hungry.
I think it is a time to prepare meal in advance for my lazy *kitten* :grumble:0 -
OP - You deserve to be commended!!! You are changing food habits and how you view food. That is fantastic! Speaking as someone who has spent a lifetime eating out of boredom, eating emotions - any emotions, eating because I saw it and it looked good, etc., etc., etc., you are doing a wonderful job of changing your mindset and your habits. And it is clearly working for weight loss.
It is fair for your husband to be concerned. Are you feeling any effects to your new habits? Are you tired, weak, ill, etc.? If so, then you probably need to track to make sure you are meeting your nutritional needs. If you don't want to see the calories, write down what you eat and let your husband add it up - especially macros. It will either ease his fears or there will be a true reason for you to look at the numbers and adjust what you are eating for your health.
Congrats on your loss so far and good luck with the rest!0 -
If you are eating healthily and you are full and not tired, don't worry about it. He's probably just not used to your new lifestyle. It happens to all of us, I think.0
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That is a good idea.
Count calories for what you ate today and then for the next three days so you have a picture of what is going on.
I didn't portion anything out today but I could try tomorrow. Meats is what frustrates me. I don't have and can't afford a food scale right now so I stick to measuring cups but I know meat should be weighed.
You realize you can get a decent digital scale for as low as like $7, right?0 -
To be honest, if all you ate for dinner after a workout was a protein shake, yogurt, cottage cheese, feta and small whole wheat bun then I too could be concerned - I am guessing that if you'd sat down to a plate of salad with a good protein like chicken or something he wouldn't complain so much.
He is seeing what you ate as very small/unnutritious/not very filling and is worrying about you whilst you know how many calories etc it has.
Perhaps you need to adjust some of your meals slightly to show him that you are eating a good plateful of food - it can still be very low cal/healthy!
Hahaha....this is a good one.... You did realize, that the salad and a reasonable serving of chicken has about only half the calories of the protein shake, yogurt, feta, and bun, right...? Who is starving now....lol
I hear this all the time, too. I watch my portions, say NO to sugary sodas, and if the family goes for junk food at the popular greasy chains, I will find a salad there, too. I'm 50, and I have the guns and the abs now to get my point across.
Some people will pick on us at the dinner table, because they don't have as much control over the fork, others simply don't realize that the palm of my hand is so much smaller, when it comes to guessing the size of a steak... Everybody is different.
To the OP: Congrats to finding a way that works for you! Stay strong, make sure that your body gets all the nutrients that it really needs, eventually the people around you will get used to it! Good luck!0
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