Feeling...Like I cant do it...

tally1991
tally1991 Posts: 5
in Motivation and Support
Ok so I have set goals for myself so many times, but never seem to actually stick with them. After running last night I realized I really just need somebody to workout with then maybe I will actually meet a goal. I really want to be in at least a size 10 by next yr but at this rate Im pretty sure I will quit. Can somebody help?

Replies

  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
    OP - hugs to you! You can do this if you want it bad enough. It can be hard but it doesn't have to be. Find something you love doing and stay with it. Mix it up so that you are always doing something new. Find foods you love that fit in your calorie goals.

    Keep you head up and remember that everyday you keep at it is a success! Don't put a X size by X date. Focus on one day at a time. I think alot of people go through this! You can get over this slump! I believe in you.
  • heyitsnicolelee
    heyitsnicolelee Posts: 39 Member
    I usually am pretty good with exercising on my own. However, I go to an all women's gym, and I've met so many people there that need the motivation. My gym offers classes, and once the girls all get to know each other, they all hold each other accountable. Look into your local gym for programs if you can't find a workout buddy close to where you live. Some of the classes even go as far as taking attendance to hold the girls accountable. They all love it, though, and it makes them want to not miss a class.

    You can do anything you set your mind to! Good luck!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.

    True but sometimes it help to guess people that extra boost. I sometimes pick the tough answer.

    Maybe we can help her figure out why she cannot do this alone.
  • kburns213
    kburns213 Posts: 5 Member
    You can do it! It is so easy to quit, I have done it a hundred times. But at some point you just have to do it. Just make it part of the routine. I agree it would be easier with a workout buddy but I have been doing it by myself. Its hard. I would much rather lay on the couch and watch tv then go to the gym. Now I find myself feeling guilty when I do that....
    I found that if I just go to the gym (I could never workout at home), once I'm there I will work out. And I feel proud after. And once I started seeing results it became almost addictive. If I can do it, you can do it. Just Do It!
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.

    This. Relying on the motivation of others is like living on government assistance. It might help out for a while, but what happens when you exhaust that resource? Do you think it's anyone's plan to be your cheerleader indefinitely? And can you really earn a true sense of accomplishment when all your success was because someone else made you do it?
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    Watch it every day if you have to...
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    The hardest part of weight loss is realizing that you're worth it, and it sounds like you haven't quite done that. You, on your own, are worth all the hard work it takes. It might be difficult to work out without a friend, but you can't stick to a plan just because someone else is making you do it. Otherwise, the second you're on your own, you won't have any reason to keep doing it. The tough love approach I've taken with myself is to stop letting myself make excuses and just effing DO IT. Plan your workout times every week, and if you've got it scheduled, then do it. No excuses.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    Try not focusing on a time frame to lose the weight. Just focus on doing the best you can today. One day at a time, or even one meal at a time.

    Do you have a workout buddy? It helps me workout even if I don't feel like it when someone else is going with me. As I've improved my fitness, I'm more into going by myself, but having the buddy helped me get there.

    But, ultimately you have two choices:

    1. Do your best today
    2. Give up and be fat forever

    I'm going with #1
  • georgiaswamptiger
    georgiaswamptiger Posts: 1 Member
    Tally, what do your moments of weakness look like? And can you design the environment better so that it's harder to have those moments of weakness?

    My moment of weakness is every day from 4 to 11pm. During this time, I want everything-bread. And it's like I become a different person who no longer cares about the goals that have been set.

    But I know that when I design my environment to have a) no easy-to-eat bread, and b) easy-to-eat healthy stuff (carrots, nuts, etc.), I am more likely to succeed. The other big thing that kills my diet is stressors in other areas of my life. If my work and school are nuts, then the diet is not looking good. I recently finished 6 years of grad school, and maintaining a proper diet was difficult and sketchy, though I did okay (still well within my weight range). However, now that that stressor is gone, I am better able to focus on inputting my food here and getting my exercise.

    It's really hard to eat right in the Land of Plenty (of tasty crap), but what choice do we have?
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Ok so I have set goals for myself so many times, but never seem to actually stick with them. After running last night I realized I really just need somebody to workout with then maybe I will actually meet a goal. I really want to be in at least a size 10 by next yr but at this rate Im pretty sure I will quit. Can somebody help?

    Figure out why you quit working on your goals. Are they unreasonable? Do you expect results to come too quickly? Are you restricting your calories so much that you are miserable? Are you making yourself do a form of exercise that you don't enjoy? Are you forbidding yourself to eat a type of food that you love? What are you letting stand your way?
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.

    This. Relying on the motivation of others is like living on government assistance. It might help out for a while, but what happens when you exhaust that resource? Do you think it's anyone's plan to be your cheerleader indefinitely? And can you really earn a true sense of accomplishment when all your success was because someone else made you do it?

    This^...guys dont help her rationalize.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    If your main goal is weightloss set your calories to not include exercise. This way you will still lose weight if you have trouble sticking to your routine. Any exercise you do will be gravy.

    I do recommend working on your willpower to stick to your routine because it's just better for you to have some, but don't let difficulties with one goal derail the other.
  • KaelaLee88
    KaelaLee88 Posts: 229 Member
    You can do this hun, whether it's now or in a few years you will do it!

    Sometimes when we set ourselves extreme goals that are a considerable distance from where we are now and we don't see the immediate progress that we expect, we lose heart and don't feel that we will ever get there.

    When I started my weight-loss journey, my Nana and I were talking about weight-loss when I mentioned that I was aiming to lose 8st 3lbs. She looked at me and told me that my intentions were good but that I shouldn't aim for the whole thing. I should break it up into reasonable goals and still aim for the same destination.

    My dietician also said the same, that I should not aim for this all in one go.

    I adjusted my goal to lost 6st 3lbs which I found more manageable and i'm more comfortable with. I haven't set a time limit on my weight loss, I will move when my body is ready :)

    I hope that this is helpful to you.

    Kaela x
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.

    This. Relying on the motivation of others is like living on government assistance. It might help out for a while, but what happens when you exhaust that resource? Do you think it's anyone's plan to be your cheerleader indefinitely? And can you really earn a true sense of accomplishment when all your success was because someone else made you do it?

    +1
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
    Unfortunately, No one can provide true motivation but you.

    Find your deeper reason for losing weight. Explore your relationship with food. Do you eat because you're bored? Depressed? Once you figure that out, find other hobbies/activities to take the place of those feelings. I found that I eat due to both of those.

    So to battle depression, I talked to my doctor, she gave me a mood stabilizer, and the gym takes care of the rest. I went and rented a violin for those times I'm "bored" or I go window shopping, and walk around the mall for an hour or two. It's the little things.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    you cant rely on anyone else to help you stick with your goals. Either you nut up or give up.

    This. Relying on the motivation of others is like living on government assistance. It might help out for a while, but what happens when you exhaust that resource? Do you think it's anyone's plan to be your cheerleader indefinitely? And can you really earn a true sense of accomplishment when all your success was because someone else made you do it?

    ^Agreed. You need to figure out your own "why" and not rely on anyone else to keep you on track. There are plenty of accountability groups here on MFP, join one of those. Here's one to lose 5 lbs in July - a completely realistic goal. This group looks like a weekly check-in thing, but I'm sure if you sent up a bat signal for friends in the group you can check in with each day about diet and exercise, you'll have your own mini-MFP accountability group in no time. Just remember it's give and take, you can't expect people to prop you up all the time, you have to offer them support as well.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1341751-lose-5lbs-in-july-2014-open-group

    FWIW, I workout at home. Alone. Because I can't afford a gym membership and I don't have any friends here who can workout on my schedule. So I've done a few accountability groups, and it helps. I can check-in with others, and get support or a kick in the butt to go workout when I need it. Just be wary of anyone asking you to join an accountability group on fb or a private group here; sometimes they are legit people trying to form a group, but most of the time they are salespeople trying to build a client list and circumvent the forum rules on selling.
  • Red_sparkling_Titania
    Red_sparkling_Titania Posts: 485
    If you focus on results you will never change. If you focus on change you will get results. No one can do this but you. You have to want it more than you fear it. Suck it up and just do it
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    As my father used to say "cant only wrote bad poetry" You can do this!!!!
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
    I have found, for me, setting short term goals works wonders (as others have said).
    Instead of the ultimate goal I focus on two weeks at a time.
    And set a "reasonable" weight loss goal. In my case .5 lb a week.
    This way when you hit your goal you are ready to stay motivated and keep going instead of being disappointed.
    Be patient. Takes time. Don't give up.
  • tally1991
    tally1991 Posts: 5
    Im the same way! My weakness is between 4 and 11PM because Im home with my daughter and my boyfriend is at work. I have actually gone to my grandparents house in the past because they dont keep junk food there, then I dont have any reasons to want to eat!
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    I am someone that actually doesnt like working out (do all my running solo) with other people.. but I join a crossfit gym and learned in that circumstance i did like having some people around and holding me accountable to atleast be at crossfit. The rest of it (diet, other excerise.. I had to do on my own).

    I will tell you that you need to hold yourself accountable in a good way and then use MFP for support. I am a little dorky but I love a good old CHART. I have one on my wall right now for a 30 day challenge I am participating in. Every day I log the following... (weight, calories consumed, calories burned, net calories, and notes on the day). I never leave anything blank so it hold me accountable for my actions. Perhaps this is something you can try.
  • jleb5
    jleb5 Posts: 23 Member
    I can relate! It is tough. I am starting and have about 100 lbs to lose so I can really relate. I've dieted, quit , tried all kinds of diets and it just hasn't stuck. I am tired of it and even thought I know I need to lose the weight it gets hard and you do need support. People backing you up and saying keep on going. So, all I can say is You go girl! Keep on going! YOu are almost there.
    Hugs!
  • jleb5
    jleb5 Posts: 23 Member
    Wow! Sounds great! great idea!

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