Weight loss comment

xxharleyquinnxx
xxharleyquinnxx Posts: 166 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So my boyfriends mum just said I am looking very slim and that I look good. I mean obviously it is a compliment because of my recent weight loss but I kinda am thinking that before she thought I was a bit chubby and now I am fretting that I will be heavier after holiday and she wont think I look good any more. Has this happened to any one else?

Replies

  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    The fretting part, looking good part or gaining the weight back part?
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Why would you be heavier after holiday?
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    One of the many, many reasons not to bring up someone's weight. Remember that as you go through life, lol. There are other good reasons, too. People who are losing weight could have cancer or who knows what. Don't bring up people's weight - ever. :)

    Do not obsess about it. If she think bad things (which is unlikely), who cares? You should be happy with yourself. If you allowed other people's opinion to dictate what you think about you, you'll never have a clear grip on yourself, because other people's opinions will be all over the board.

    If you're happy and your doctor is happy, to hell with everyone else. They really do not matter at all. :)
  • joebooth28
    joebooth28 Posts: 55 Member
    This is just me. I gave up thinking what people think of me awhile ago. I used to be self conscience to the point it was stopping me from doing some things I wanted to. I am eating healthy and moderate for me and my family. Looking good is nice as well. But it has to mean more than that, I think.

    Take the compliment :) Don't think to much into it...

    Just my 2 cents...
  • Krista916
    Krista916 Posts: 258
    Don't worry so much about what other people think of you.
  • tarcotti
    tarcotti Posts: 205 Member
    I think your over-thinking this way too much.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    Take it as a compliment and try not to read so much into it.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Why are you worried about what someone else thinks?

    You have lost 7lbs. If losing 7lbs made you look slim, then you obviously weren't chubby before.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Why do you care?
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    I think your over-thinking this way too much.

    This. Say thank you and accept the compliment.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Don't get sucked into otheration. Feel good because you are meeting your goals and feeling more fit, not because of one person's opinion. On this journey, there will be some up and down on the scale. You can't let it derail the end goal - or your happiness.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Take it as a compliment and try not to read so much into it.

    Yes, please.
  • debbieruth
    debbieruth Posts: 40
    I agree with what everyone else has said. Don't put too much thought, or concern into it. Just take the compliment as it was intended, that she thinks you are looking good!!
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
    So my boyfriends mum
    Just stop right there.

    Stop wasting your energy. If you eventually get married to this young man, this woman will become your Mother In Law. Once that happens she will make your life miserable in ways you could have never imagined. You'll look back fondly on the day that she complimented you.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    So my boyfriends mum
    Just stop right there.

    Stop wasting your energy. If you eventually get married to this young man, this woman will become your Mother In Law. Once that happens she will make your life miserable in ways you could have never imagined. You'll look back fondly on the day that she complimented you.

    Aw! That's not necessarily true. My MIL is my best friend. I even got to keep her after the divorce. :drinker:
  • WW_Jude_V2
    WW_Jude_V2 Posts: 209 Member
    There's a saying: "What other people think of me is none of my business."

    It's a little tough to get to this point in one's thought process, but believe me, once you're there, it's mighty freeing!!
  • rosehips60
    rosehips60 Posts: 1,030 Member
    So my boyfriends mum
    Just stop right there.

    Stop wasting your energy. If you eventually get married to this young man, this woman will become your Mother In Law. Once that happens she will make your life miserable in ways you could have never imagined. You'll look back fondly on the day that she complimented you.
    OMG this! I've been married for 33 years and I could write a book!! Also the the other OP who mentioned cancer, I actually did this years ago and I've never done it again, I only mention it if it's someone I know and I know they are working on it
  • Watch_Me_Rise
    Watch_Me_Rise Posts: 301 Member
    Just take the compliment and try not to overthink it, sounds easy but I know that it's not..
  • shmulyeng
    shmulyeng Posts: 472 Member
    The fretting part, looking good part or gaining the weight back part?

    :laugh:
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    One of the many, many reasons not to bring up someone's weight. Remember that as you go through life, lol. There are other good reasons, too. People who are losing weight could have cancer or who knows what. Don't bring up people's weight - ever. :)

    Do not obsess about it. If she think bad things (which is unlikely), who cares? You should be happy with yourself. If you allowed other people's opinion to dictate what you think about you, you'll never have a clear grip on yourself, because other people's opinions will be all over the board.

    If you're happy and your doctor is happy, to hell with everyone else. They really do not matter at all. :)

    I've done this before. I was a bank teller and I had to look at the woman's id before she could make a withdrawal. She was at least 100 pounds heavier in the photo and I said something like "you've lost weight, how did you do it?" and she said "cancer." It shut me up quick. I haven't commented on someone's weight since.

    I also stopped commenting on people's heights because someone said that a comment I made about them being "so tall" up set them. And I can understand that because I get sick of people commenting on my height (I'm 5'1).

    However, most people don't mean anything by the comments. Try to take it at face value. She was being nice. Take it as such.
  • Soggynode
    Soggynode Posts: 1,179 Member
    I'm going to go with most of the other posts... take the compliment she gave you and leave it at that. Use it as a little motivational win not a source of stress. People are going to think whatever they want about you, all you can change how you react to it.

    If she ends up being your MIL there will plenty of time for stress later.:wink:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    ah sort of. You can't let that stuff derail you though or make you nervous. Remember that primarily you are doing it for YOU!

    In a similar sense, I have been complimented a lot publicly by random strangers or quasi-acquaintances, such as salespeople in stores I frequent...so even though my weight is still going down, I sometimes wonder if down the road they will think "oh I guess she stopped" when I end up at size 10 and not say, 2 or 5.

    At the end of the day though, who cares!
  • hyg99
    hyg99 Posts: 354 Member
    My fil (been with husband 23 years) takes great pleasure in mentioning every single pound I've put on, goes out of his way to make negative comments about every thing, as I've got older and tbh less tolerant, I have got a little testy with my responses. Anyway he spent much energy saying how much weight I put on over Christmas and since then I have lost 52lb and not a word, I have gone from UK size 18-20 to 10-12 and not a single word.
    I should just enjoy the compliments ...
  • bellevie86
    bellevie86 Posts: 301 Member
    I can kinda relate to not knowing how people see you til hearing some of their comments. Last fall I had decided that I was not going to gain any more of the weight I had lost (had gained 12 pounds of 38 back). So around October I got back at er and lost 15 pounds by xmas. At Xmas my bf's sister gave me an XL men's sweater and said to me "I hope it still fits" and I thought to myself, does she really think I'm this big??? Even without losing the 15 pounds lost it would have been way too big. Either she was lazy and re-gifting or she REALLY thought I was that big. Either way, I think I may give her the biggest sweater I can find next yr for xmas lol
  • nespinosa3
    nespinosa3 Posts: 116
    This happens to me too XD I know "we shouldn't care about what others think" but that is a process, easier said than done. I have had people come up to me and say "omG you look so much prettier now that you've lost weight" -_- that sucks...in reality, people should just not make any comments on weight, you never know what people are going through. But yes, we also have to learn how to deal with these comments and not depend on a good comment to be happy that week.
    As far as your situation, I think it was a well-intended comment, I really don't think that she used to think you were ugly and now you're not. Some people just phrase it in such a way that it sounds like that, but I don't think so ;)

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