HELP- How to have self-control when it comes to food?!?

Hi all,

I have recently started to hate what I look at in the mirror, I have lost all of my body confidence. I know that in order to feel good about myself and love my body again I have got to do something about it.

But no matter how much know and want to make a change to my eating habits, I just don't have the self control needed when it comes to food at the moment. It's strange, this is such a hard thing for me to admit because I have so much self control in other aspects of my life but I have tried and tried to eat well/less and I just can't; it's almost like an addiction!

I haven't written this post because I think there is some miracle fix to get self-control and all of a sudden never want to eat a bad thing again. I've written it because I'm hoping other people have gone through a similar thing and I was wondering what helped them finally make the change to there lifestyle.

Any help, advice or motivation would be extremely appreciated :)
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Replies

  • xcalygrl
    xcalygrl Posts: 1,897 Member
    I had a health scare several years ago. I realized that I was feeding the health issues (pun intended). I decided then and there that I had to do something to fix it. I began to make healthier choices. It wasn't an overnight victory, it took time. I still "mess up," but I take it in stride and don't let it send me into a neverending spiral. Knowing that I am healthier now has really made this journey worthwhile to me. I like being able to run, jump, swim, play sports, etc. without getting winded super fast or feeling completely beat afterwards. I have a lot more energy now than I ever used to, and I'm a decade older than I was then.

    What helped me: tracking everything I ate. I started out writing it down, but I transitioned to MFP several years later. Seeing everything I was eating was an eye opener for me. I didn't realize all the extra food/drink I was putting into my body that I didn't need. I knew I overate, which is why I was obese, but I didn't realize how much I overate until I started tracking it.
  • sjmoran
    sjmoran Posts: 31 Member
    Hey there. I completely understand where you are coming from. I, too, have a problem with self control at many times. I honestly don't know exactly what to tell you that might be helpful except that for me it becomes easier to manage self control the more I practice it. I have had to eliminate dangerous foods from my pantry and only have on hand the things that I consider within the healthy scope. I no longer purchase packaged anything. I do live with my dad so this kind of thing has been hard because he buys food too, but he knows how hard I am trying and has been doing his best to keep those things out of the house. I have also used the method of "hiding" certain things from myself. I have covered up high calorie/fat content foods with towels or hidden them in the fridge so that I don't see them blatantly staring back at me when I peruse the kitchen. Also, as far as portion control when I go to fill my plate, the amount I would normally put on there I cut in half. I eat slowly and wait to see if I am still hungry before adding anymore food.

    I don't know if that helps at all but I know you can do it. You have to be patient and not beat yourself up if you slip up. You will get there in time and practice. :wink:
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Think of willpower like a muscle. You have to practice it and train it. You might start out with very little, but it will build up slowly.

    Things that have helped me including finding other outlets for my emotional stress, including treats into my everyday goal rather than cutting them out completely, and taking things one day, sometimes one hour at a time.

    I don't know if you've come across this thread yet, but it's a good read: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • tycho_mx
    tycho_mx Posts: 426 Member
    I can completely relate. My weakness is evenings after training, 10 pm or later. I seem to scarf down whatever is available. It's like a deluge - start with a reasonable portion of protein for recovery, becomes 3 bowls of cereal and granola.

    A book I read stated that one strategy is to change your habits - remove the tempting items and situations. So if you love chocolate, buy them in single items so you actually have to go get them. In my case I think I'll move the computer from the kitchen. What a pain is this - and like you said, I'm normally composed in other aspects of my life including raising a family, diligently training, work commitments, etc. Even recently I stopped biting my fingernails after 30+ years doing it.

    Bleh.
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,007 Member
    Hi there, I wish there was some magic that helps people like us. Its so hard not to overindulge on stuff we like. Hell even stuff we dont like for that matter but I tell you if you follow the guidelines of mfp, you will lose, you will be successful.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Read the stuff in sexy pants. It will get you started. Start an exercise program. Even walking is a start. You will lose. Once you see the first lbs come off you will be hooked on mfp. Its so easy. Calories in calories out...burned. eat less move more is another saying that you will see on here.
    Make friends. Read forums. Take advantage of all mfp has to offer.

    Add me as a friend if you like, I log in every day...
  • VTRutz
    VTRutz Posts: 52 Member
    i had to start by asking myself EVERY time I put food in my mouth "Is this helping me towards my goal?" AND in particularly dire situations (donuts at work anyone?) I would say that if I could drink a glass of water and think about my goals for 5 minutes and still want that donut I could have it. After the water and 5 minutes I usually never cave, OR I only allow myself a tiny piece of the "offending" food. (today it was reeses PB cups, as you can see in my diary lol) but then I make it work with my goals for the rest of the day.

    It is 100% constant reminding- "This isnt what I want for my body, this wont make me happy, food is NOT a reward"
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    i have little will power when it comes to food, so i started a food diary may 1 and made keeping it and tracking things about my fitness a hobby rather than a chore. it gave me a frame of reference, and also helped me make some decisions. now i eat 6 smaller meals each day, and make sure every bite is something i really love eating. that way, there's only 2 hours and 15 minutes from the last bite in one meal to the next meal, and i don't give up things like cereal and milk or guacamole - i just budget the calories so i can enjoy them.

    but before i did that, i did substitutions and lost about 50 pounds that way - dryer's slow churned instead of regular ice cream, sargento reduced fat sharp cheddar and swiss instead of regular and like that. at that point, i didn't eat less - just ate good tasting foods that were less calories than the ones they replaced. it took some experimenting to find the ones i liked, and then it was game on.
  • hillaba
    hillaba Posts: 1 Member
    This is a great idea. Here I sit at my desk wanting more chocolate - i'll drink some water and then wait 5 minutes. and remember that i have already eaten some chocolate. and i don't really want it. Thanks for sharing!
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
    There is no magic fix but I also recommend the link to sexy pants. Reply with a bump and you can access it to reread.
    I cleaned all trigger foods out of my house at first. I did not let myself get overly hungry. I started to eat breakfast. I drank more water.
    I kept myself from being bored. Boy was my house clean! Lol. (Not saying housework us the answer)!
    I do not deny myself treats. If I indulge tho it has to be for instance the best brownie I can find. I became a food snob where my treats were concerned. These are treats tho....not everyday occurrences.
    I started excersizing. Just walking at first then swimming

    Believe in yourself. Stay connected to us here on this site. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    I found that logging and being honest with myself were excellent tools. I found that I didn't need unlimited self control; all I had to have was enough self control to stay within budget.

    It wasn't saying "no" to all treats and indulgences, only "no" to some of them. That was (and still is) very freeing to me.

    I find that I can turn down unwanted treats and indulgences, say for example in the work break room, because I get to have other treats and indulgences I want more.
  • mbam89
    mbam89 Posts: 73 Member
    I'm proud of you for making a change, girl! I feel like I'm in the same boat. I've finally made a habit of working out, but I'm not losing any weight, and I know it's because I need to change my eating habits.

    What has helped me so far, is keeping unhealthy food out of the house. My kitchen now pretty much only has healthy items because I know if there's ice cream in the freezer, I'll eat it, if there are cookies on the counter, I'll eat them. Out of sight out of mind! (Also, I read an article that recommends keeping unhealthy foods where you can't see them, such as in a colored container. Then keep healthy choices out in the open or in clear containers.) If I do have a craving that I want to satisfy then I'll have to drive all the way to the store, buy a single serving, and really savor it.

    One of my biggest problems has been when I let myself get hungry, I'll eat anything, and I tend to crave simple carbs (for that instant energy). So, I always try to have a healthy snack on hand, and try to eat every few hours so I never get to that ravenous point.

    I hope this helps! Consistency is key :) And like one of the other ladies said, nobody's perfect, not even you ;) so, don't beat yourself up if you slip up.
  • ang83
    ang83 Posts: 18 Member
    We can all relate. My advice: Don't get too hungry, it's harder to make good choices when you're starving. When you're standing in front of the fridge or the pantry, remind yourself to make a choice that you'll be proud of later. The satisfaction that comes with getting healthy is far beyond that of a yummy treat or high calorie lunch. If you want it, you'll make it happen. If you don't, you'll make excuses.
  • Thanks everyone, you've all been great helps.

    I'm going to start with logging every piece of food I eat, hopefully this will make me realize how awful some of my days are. I think it will also be great if I can stay connected with people on here and be able to share my progress and up and downs with you all.

    Thanks again :)
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    that's a good start, but don't log to realize anything awful - simply log your food as a first step. you only need to cut out 500 calories per day to lose a pound per week, and having it all written down for a few days or a week makes it easy to decide what you can leave out. sometimes it's something easy to say goodbye to eating.
    Thanks everyone, you've all been great helps.

    I'm going to start with logging every piece of food I eat, hopefully this will make me realize how awful some of my days are. I think it will also be great if I can stay connected with people on here and be able to share my progress and up and downs with you all.

    Thanks again :)
  • One more thing....
    Probably my worst habit is if I have just had dinner or any meal and then 10 minutes later my mind is telling me that I am still hungry... I can't possibly still be hungry but that bad little me on my shoulder is telling me I am and I'll end up giving in and going to eat something else.

    Any advice with how to let my mind know this stomach is full!?
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    that's a good start, but don't log to realize anything awful - simply log your food as a first step. you only need to cut out 500 calories per day to lose a pound per week, and having it all written down for a few days or a week makes it easy to decide what you can leave out. sometimes it's something easy to say goodbye to eating.
    Thanks everyone, you've all been great helps.

    I'm going to start with logging every piece of food I eat, hopefully this will make me realize how awful some of my days are. I think it will also be great if I can stay connected with people on here and be able to share my progress and up and downs with you all.

    Thanks again :)

    I agree with this sentiment. It's easy to see logging as a form of punishment or a negative thing if you're just logging to see how awful things are. And if it feels bad then you're less likely to stick with it.

    Try to think more neutrally about this. Log because it's the first step, not because you're doing anything wrong.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    eat foods with more fiber or drink some water before dinner. you could try eating slower, but hey - i can't seem to do that :D

    has your blood sugar been tasted by a doctor?
  • I am the same way. Great control in other areas, but terrible with food. I'm really bad with emotional eating in particular. Part of it is that deep down, I don't want to restrict myself. I dunno for me it has been very hard winning the right frame of mind in order to get started, and I have been trying to get started for like 6 months now. I've finally seen a little progress the past week, by trying to tap into the same mental state I use to make reasonable choices elsewhere.

    For me, it has helped to kind of using analogies. The one that has helped me the most is this:

    I have a morbid terror of over-withdrawing my checking account. Now I try to think of my daily calories as a bank account, and I use the calorie app to "check my balance" before spending. Just as I budget my finances, now I'm trying to budget my calories. I try to think of the calories "outside" of by budget (i.e. those from overeating) as "NOT belonging to ME" just as money outside my bank checking account is not my money. I would not spend someone else's money. I would not borrow money from the future so that I can have pleasure today, and so it is the same with calories. I've kind of conflated overeating with stealing in my mind.

    Yikes, I hope that makes sense...it's kind of abstract, but finding something that works had basically boiled down to using this kind of screwy mental trick. I think after a while, like the other poster said, my control in this area will become a highly trained "muscle" and making the right choice will feel more natural.
  • keniaclimaco5
    keniaclimaco5 Posts: 31 Member
    look at yourself in the mirror naked and that'll motivate you to put the junk down!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    One more thing....
    Probably my worst habit is if I have just had dinner or any meal and then 10 minutes later my mind is telling me that I am still hungry... I can't possibly still be hungry but that bad little me on my shoulder is telling me I am and I'll end up giving in and going to eat something else.

    Any advice with how to let my mind know this stomach is full!?

    Some things that have helped me is getting plenty of protein, fat and fiber with dinner. These help you stay fuller and more satisfied for longer. I'll also have a cup of decaf tea after dinner. It helps if I'm trying to eat out of habit or boredom. I try to pick up hobbies that keep my hands busy or get myself out of the house if I'm having a particularly bad night. And I keep some calories left for a snack later in the evening. Sometimes knowing that I can still eat something later in the night helps me to feel less like I need to eat RIGHT NOW.
  • ge105
    ge105 Posts: 268 Member
    What are you eating? What are you craving? You likely don't have enough will power to stop yourself from eating if you're leaving every meal hungry. I don't mean that to say its a fault I think you have in your personality; its just not possible. Will power is a muscle and like a muscle, it need rest. If you are constantly exercising it, it will break down and you will fail. You don't need more will power. You need to find a way of eating that doesn't leave you so hungry that every time food presents itself you are tempted to eat it.
  • gardengirl40
    gardengirl40 Posts: 24 Member
    I agree with others kickstart, it gets easier with practice, but here are some of my useful strategies:
    Don't have it in the house!
    Buy things in smaller portion packs
    Identify your triggers (me, it's petrol stations when I'm driving for work...so I need to be really good at organising food to take with me, and fill the car with fuel on the weekend when I am not hungry!), also being tired is big for me so I'm trying to get more sleep
    Don't get really starving, and don't go near a supermarket when you're peckish
    For me, eating more slowly is a skill I'm trying to acquire, or I've stuffed down loads before my stomach has registered anything
    Late night munchies- I try to leave a calorie cushion for just this scenario
    If I feel hungry and know that I don't need food, my rule is that I wait ten mins, and if I still really honestly feel hungry then I'll eat it.

    And lastly, I try and build cues to positive behaviours into my routine, they say that's why you mindlessly eat things, because there are cues in your environment that prompt your brain, so I have been trying to build in cues that prompt me to do positive things, like leaving my running kit out, I programme reminders on to my phone to do things, and i try and build more incidental activity into my day

    One step at a time kickstart! Keeping going when you've fallen off the wagon is 90% of the battle :)
  • daniellee725
    daniellee725 Posts: 24 Member
    I take my inspiration from Chris Powell. He talks about building yourself up by making tiny little promises every day to yourself and keeping them. Start ridiculously small, for me I started with not letting myself eat anything at work that I didn't pack myself (we have a cafe at work, and the manager orders pizza for us often, people bring cookies for the break room, etc). Before I promised myself this, I would binge on whatever was at hand, and would walk out of work having eaten 1,000+ calories than I was expecting. It's hard to keep your promises to yourself, but it is VITAL to your success that you keep your promises to yourself. Breaking promises to ourselves is what makes overweight/obese people feel so defeated. We can't trust ourselves. Take every single day one day at a time, make a new promise to yourself (once your confidence starts to build, you can make more than one promise, or bigger promises) and KEEP the promise at all costs. Doesn't matter what the promise is, just keep it. This will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence in yourself. Hope this helps. :) also, forgive any grammatical errors, it's hard to type this much on an iPhone :P
  • gardengirl40
    gardengirl40 Posts: 24 Member
    What are you eating? What are you craving? You likely don't have enough will power to stop yourself from eating if you're leaving every meal hungry. I don't mean that to say its a fault I think you have in your personality; its just not possible. Will power is a muscle and like a muscle, it need rest. If you are constantly exercising it, it will break down and you will fail. You don't need more will power. You need to find a way of eating that doesn't leave you so hungry that every time food presents itself you are tempted to eat it.
    [/quote

    Good point!:smile: ]
  • gardengirl40
    gardengirl40 Posts: 24 Member
    I take my inspiration from Chris Powell. He talks about building yourself up by making tiny little promises every day to yourself and keeping them. Start ridiculously small, for me I started with not letting myself eat anything at work that I didn't pack myself (we have a cafe at work, and the manager orders pizza for us often, people bring cookies for the break room, etc). Before I promised myself this, I would binge on whatever was at hand, and would walk out of work having eaten 1,000+ calories than I was expecting. It's hard to keep your promises to yourself, but it is VITAL to your success that you keep your promises to yourself. Breaking promises to ourselves is what makes overweight/obese people feel so defeated. We can't trust ourselves. Take every single day one day at a time, make a new promise to yourself (once your confidence starts to build, you can make more than one promise, or bigger promises) and KEEP the promise at all costs. Doesn't matter what the promise is, just keep it. This will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence in yourself. Hope this helps. :) also, forgive any grammatical errors, it's hard to type this much on an iPhone :P

    I love Chris Powell!
  • Bustergirl14
    Bustergirl14 Posts: 69 Member
    In some ways I think that what I was eating was contributing to my lack of control. Once I started making better choices and carb counting (dr.'s orders), I started to just not feel as hungry all of the time. I do 3 meals and 2 snacks so i never get to the point where I feel like I am "starving" either. And I agree with everyone about keeping daily logs of all food eaten.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    I manage my food plan by first of all, remembering why I wanted to lose weight and eat nutritiously (health, well-being, longevity). Then I made sure that I never allowed myself to get hungry. I mean I always have food choices prepared and readily available, including my purse. Finally, there is NOTHING in my house that is not on my food plan. Finally, I make sure to plan in special treats and make sure they fit in my calorie level: dark chocolate, a glass of wine, occasional French fries. When I eat those treats (in smaller portions than before), I eat slowly and savor every bite. I can make a snack size York Peppermint Patty last 5 minutes with little nibbles. That way, my emotional needs get met and I don't feel as though I'm depriving myself.

    This has worked well for a bit over two years, so I'm thinking that it works for me.
  • gardengirl40
    gardengirl40 Posts: 24 Member
    And I have broken the habit of a lifetime and not tried to do it alone- I am loving the support on here and feel like I need to check in with people who might need encouragement every day, so add some friends and keep going! (You can add me if you like):happy:
  • What are you eating? What are you craving? You likely don't have enough will power to stop yourself from eating if you're leaving every meal hungry. I don't mean that to say its a fault I think you have in your personality; its just not possible. Will power is a muscle and like a muscle, it need rest. If you are constantly exercising it, it will break down and you will fail. You don't need more will power. You need to find a way of eating that doesn't leave you so hungry that every time food presents itself you are tempted to eat it.

    I'll normally eat well balanced healthy meals but then after I'll crave chocolate, crisps, biscuits basically anything in the cupboards....
  • I take my inspiration from Chris Powell. He talks about building yourself up by making tiny little promises every day to yourself and keeping them. Start ridiculously small, for me I started with not letting myself eat anything at work that I didn't pack myself (we have a cafe at work, and the manager orders pizza for us often, people bring cookies for the break room, etc). Before I promised myself this, I would binge on whatever was at hand, and would walk out of work having eaten 1,000+ calories than I was expecting. It's hard to keep your promises to yourself, but it is VITAL to your success that you keep your promises to yourself. Breaking promises to ourselves is what makes overweight/obese people feel so defeated. We can't trust ourselves. Take every single day one day at a time, make a new promise to yourself (once your confidence starts to build, you can make more than one promise, or bigger promises) and KEEP the promise at all costs. Doesn't matter what the promise is, just keep it. This will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence in yourself. Hope this helps. :) also, forgive any grammatical errors, it's hard to type this much on an iPhone :P

    I love this promise idea. Thanks!