45 and getting depressed
McNichols2012
Posts: 7
Hi, I'm not new to MFP or to working out. i just stay so busy i don't make time to workout. My calorie intake for the most part is not bad. I'm working with TDEE. I just have a HARD TIME making time to workout. I'm getting scared because my BP has been high for the past couple of days. I have to get this weight off. I'm 5'1" at 235. I know WHAT i need to do, eat ect. I just can't wrap my head around DOING it. I know i'm a procrastinator. I've been trying for 10 years to get a business going; but that's another story...just an example of my procrastination. I'll work out for 2 or 3 days in a row and then something ALWAYS happens. I work a lot of hours usually a good 12 hours altogether with my regular job and the part time book work I do for my brother. I have 4 grandchildren and their mother that live with us so I spend time with them in the evening as well. So I either have work to do or I haven't slept well the night before; which happens alot and don't get up early enough to work out. I refuse to be satisfied with my weight because of this pouch I have from two C-sections. I thought i would be able to have a tummy tuck and then maintain what I ended up with after getting rid of the pouch but then I find out I have to LOSE WEIGHT before I can have a tummy tuck!! I know this is a pity post but I'm usually a control freak that doesn't let depression or pity take me down but today it's not working. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be great...especially advice on how to take advice 
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Replies
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I'm 45 as well & one thing I did to motivate me to work out was I had my wife take a "before" pic, with my shirt off, in all my chubby glory.
I printed it up, put it on my fridge & said "This doesn't come down until I get under 200 lbs."
My wife HATED it...but it worked & within 3 months I had taken that **** down.
You simply HAVE to work out once you're over 40...or you;re just going to doom yourself to being fat for the rest of your life.0 -
Sounds like you are really overwhelmed. I would suggest breaking down things like changing some of your eating habits and incorporating more movement into your day without making it a full on work out session. Even if you have to do shorter workouts, find reasons to get up and move. Take breaks and pace, do arm circles, jumping jacks every hour. Some times over thinking something creates barriers. Start small and add more each day, week or month and set small goals to organize and prioritize. If you don't make your self a priority in your daily schedule everything is more important than you.0
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I felt silly, but I did the picture thing too. But I didn't hang it on the fridge. I put it in a folder on my desktop called "FatPix." I took a new pic ever day for a couple of days but I got tired of it. 45 seems like a long time ago to me. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why not devote a little time to yourself along the way? Could be a long ride. You never know.0
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I hate to be blunt but you have to want this! If you were eating healthy and under your calories, with or without exercise, you would be losing weight. I too work over a 10 hour day and have a part time job on our farm and have family living with me and a 5 year old. Something needs to light a fire under your but (mine was splitting my pants) to make a change. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can damage your heart such as coronary artery disease which affects the arteries that supply blood to your heart muscle which can lead to an enlarged heart or heart failure. I think that would be my motivation!! While you are visiting with family, get down on the floor and do whatever you are comfortable doing-stretch, sit ups, push ups, elastic bands, walk in place, dance. Fit it in where you can. If you wake up 10 minutes earlier and walk in place or do something & again 10 minutes during lunch or in the middle of the day and 10 minutes with the family in the evening or go for an evening walk. You did a 20-30 minute workout. You will see things moving in the right direction. Good luck.0
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I'm 45 also. I hated to exercise but started with just walking 20 minutes a day. I used MFP and logged EVERYTHING I ate. I was surprised how many calories I was actually consuming a day, much more than I thought. The weight started to come off, slowly. As I saw my body changing, I became more motivated and started running. But it was a slow process. Some days I still have to force myself to run or exercise but I ALWAYS feel better afterwards. You can do it! Just be patient with yourself. Oh, and I set small goals, 5lbs. When I lost 5lbs I would set another goal of 5lbs. Looking at the big picture was too overwhelming.0
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1) Keep in mind the things you do get done daily, which sounds like a mighty full plate already, and pat yourself on the back for that daily.
2) Start small & simple with just one thing that you feel you can do, even if it is just for a couple of minutes. Just some basic exercise you already know.
3 ) Once you first acknowledge the things you already do daily, your confidence will grow.
4) Do not compare yourself to others. This is your own path you must design for yourself.
# Yougotthis0 -
I'm with you. I am 46 and took the family on a beach vacation last year. I saw a picture of myself on the sand, and was shocked how much I had gained over the last few years. I started as soon as we got back, and have fluctuated since then, but that is my motivation.
Love the name, by the way!0 -
Love the name, MrBungle, that is!0
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why not start with just 1 thing - log your food for the next several days or a week, then go from there. don't change what you eat or feel bad about it - just write it down as or right after you eat it. you may not need to cut your calories as low as you think to lose weight, but the important thing is to know what calories you're eating. most people try and cut them down too far, and the amount isn't sustainable.
i started out just walking 15 minutes a day - not walking really fast, but continuous walking on a level surface. no hills or anything - actually in the poor condition i was in, it probably would have complicated things to have done any hills. when i was comfortable with that, i added 5 minutes.0 -
18 months ago, I was 50 years old, 5'4" and 232lbs. I am now 181lbs and still losing.
Here is the story of how I did it...
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1316322-birthday-progress-w-pics0 -
Carve out a few minutes, head over to your profile and fill out the "Why I want to get in shape" area. Make it meaningful and personal (but not to personal - this is a public forum
). Find your motivation, FIND YOUR voice, FIND YOUR WILL!
Filter everything else that comes in to your life thought these thoughts. Blow the chaff from the wheat and focus on the things that will achieve YOUR GOAL!
All of life is ruled by entropy. It takes effort and strength to bring order into our worlds. Life is rushing to disorder ((sometimes crushing) but we have to strive to put order to it.
Throw a deck of cards on the floor, they don't stack themselves neatly do they. There will always be obstacles. ALWAYS.
One day will not make us or break us but it is a day we don't get back so we can not waste it. We must bring order to our lives and worlds.
Now, go bring order to your world! We are meant to conquerors! Be that Conqueror! (You know you can!)0 -
Summer 2012 I got an epiphany that I was a fatass. The elevator was out at work and I was breathing like a beached pilot whale from climbing three flights of stairs. I remember thinking, "Is THIS what you've become? Is THIS the best you can be?"
I took a long hard, and truthful look at myself. At the advanced age of forty five I'd ballooned up from my physical work weight of one hundred fifty-five pounds to two hundred thirty pounds. My BMI was 34.5, and I was a mere fifteen pounds from being classified as 'morbidly obese'. I was tired all of the time. I didn't really do anything that involved being physical. I'd stopped working in the wood shop I have. Yard work requiring more than me pushing a self-propelled mower didn't get done.
Dropped 73 lbs in 18 months.
Starting lifting, made gains.
Humped 1/4 of my new bodyweight in a pack 30-40 miles a week.
On December 4th I fainted at work. On December 9th I had a 16cc tumor removed from my heart.
Getting fit made the tumor detectable by sonogram in the ER - it blocked 95% of the atrium.
Getting fit is making my recovery worlds faster - at twenty-eight weeks post-op I've shattered all my pre-op personal records for cardio and weight training.
I just turned forty seven. I can hardly wait to see where I'll be at forty-eight.
Making time is hard. It's easier than some of the consequences of not doing so.0 -
Sounds like you have received a lot of great advice (which I read and appreciate also). Now you just need to sort it all out and figure out what works for you. Start with blogging or a written journal, maybe. Liking yourself and wanting to change are two of the most important things for any journey that results in change. Just remember that you are strong, and you will succeed if you truly want to. That is something I have been struggling with for years. I think I have finally gotten to the point of truly wanting change. I hope. We shall see. Good luck to you!0
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What can you do? Drink more water? Eat more veggies? Get the foods you can't resist out of the house?
I think confidence builds upon success, and success can be little steps!
GL!0 -
Hiyah,
you need to make some taking care yourself time. concentrate on your logging of foods to see where you can make changes. Look for the leslie sansone walk at home dvds on you tube. there are some very quick ones you should be able to fit in. Good Luck you can do it.0 -
Take a couple of pictures of yourself. Front/side/Back.
Use these pictures not to judge yourself badly. But to motivate yourself to change your shape. ( if that is what you truly want)
Don't get down on yourself if you aren't working out hard each and every day.
But, do something.
You can start small. Climb a couple of flights of stairs, Work outside, walk around the block. RECORD THESE ACTIVITIES.
then the next day.
Do it again.
If for some reason you can't do it.
Well, just go to the next day .
And resume your exercise,
if you stick to this, you will see progress. and then you can build on that progress.
I'm purchasing a wireless pedometer this weekend. so that I can Synch with myfitnesspal. and record my movements.
Please consider doing something similar you would be surprised how much you are already walking and moving around.
But whatever you do. Please stop getting down on yourself and just get through the next meal, then the next day. then the day after that. Little steps.
Realize that If you don't fight for yourself and your body and well being. who will.
JoAnna0 -
Just start doing 30 minutes of anything and cut your portions in half when you eat. As the pounds come off you will be motivated to do more and more. Start today!0
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Just Do It.0
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I'm going to be honest as you've asked for the advice. There are a few things I notice in your post.
I don't necessarily see procrastination, I see excuses and looking for an easy way out. While you clearly want to lose weight, it doesn't appear to be important enough to you that you are making it a higher priority over the excuses "always" happening that you've listed. Nobody else can make the choice to be committed to your weight loss and health improvement but you. Wanting a tummy tuck is what makes me think you want something easy. That won't fix the lifestyle choices that have gotten you where you are. If there was an easy way, everyone would be at their ideal weight with no medical issues. You did not gain the weight overnight and losing it will not be an overnight venture. Those that I see who are not only successful at losing the weight, but successful at keeping it off are those who change their lifestyle (not just some diet) from that point on. They balance exercise, eating, sleep and stress. You can find plenty of support here at MFP, but you still have to be the one to commit to it and do it. Different things work for different people and it make take some trial and error to find what works for you. I'm typing this to encourage you to make a choice to commit, not to offend or put you down in any way.0 -
You are 45, 5'1 and 235 lbs... not to be blunt.. but do you want to die of a heart attack? Don't you want to live to see your grand kids grow up.. I mean if that isn't enough to make you want to change your lifestyle then I don't know what is. Let that be your motivation.
Start by logging your food- and don't lie to yourself. don't say you had one cookie if you had two. also some light exercise.. walk to the store, take the stairs, park in the farthest lot in the parking lot.. those are all every day things that don't require you to "set aside time" for exercise
You have to realize this is more than just being overweight.. you have a great potential to die if you do not change. Take care of yourself.. you can do this0 -
Wow, Just read your powerfully post.
You rock.
Have a splendid 4th..
JoAnna0 -
I'm 50. I get up at 4:20 to make it to the gym before work. Is it easy? No. But, motivation only gets you started, dedication takes you to goal. You have to commit to it! You CAN do this, so don't allow anything to give you the excuse to stop.0
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Love the name, MrBungle, that is!
Omg I just now noticed that. Bungle fan here too.
Sorry off topic. Carry on.0 -
Exactly what she said vvvv okay, except I'm 51 ;-) BUT I feel 45 now! Anyhow, exactly what she said vvvvI'm 45 also. I hated to exercise but started with just walking 20 minutes a day. I used MFP and logged EVERYTHING I ate. I was surprised how many calories I was actually consuming a day, much more than I thought. The weight started to come off, slowly. As I saw my body changing, I became more motivated and started running. But it was a slow process. Some days I still have to force myself to run or exercise but I ALWAYS feel better afterwards. You can do it! Just be patient with yourself. Oh, and I set small goals, 5lbs. When I lost 5lbs I would set another goal of 5lbs. Looking at the big picture was too overwhelming.0
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All your posts are great. Thank you for all of them. No offense taken at all. I am reading and re-reading, even though I am at work. I'm a perfectionist and i know I expect a lot out of myself and when I don't do what I expect it really makes me mad; just not enough to do something about it. Thank you Thank you Thank you0
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Hiya, I am 42, 5'2 and currently 207lb's. I have lost 24lb's. I was an exercise phobic hated anything to do with it. I have been fat for over 20yrs I have had 3 children and 3 C-sections. I have a horrid apron as well :ohwell: I would love to have a tummy tuck too.
Beginning of June I asked my hubby to take me out for a run/walk and get me moving to lose the weight. Day one we ran between two lamp posts not even 30 seconds running and then we walked 2 mins. We repeated this for 2.5km's. 5 weeks on we do 2 circuits so 5km and I can run for 2.5k of it.... I walk a bit then run again. I am amazed at how fast things have progressed, if someone told me that I would be doing this 5 weeks ago i'd of laughed. We both work so my alarm goes off at 5.45 i'm out the door for that run/walk at 6am. I want this so badly I couldn't care if I had to get up at 3.30!! I do 2 days then rest a day. Funny thing is doing it first think in the morning makes me feel energised and sets the day up really well.
GOOD LUCK, make time for yourself to get to where you want to be and those around you should support you, once there you can juggle it a bit more but sometimes you have to be a bit selfish with these things x0 -
Procrastination is sometimes not about "lazy" or "making excuses" - a lot of times procrastination is due to not wanting to face deep seated fears and negative emotions. We have a natural "fight or flight" response to stress - and overwhelming emotions like feeling overwhelmed, guilty, angry etc. can trigger that response. Recognizing that gave me the inner fortitude to overcome it.
A LOT of this is a mental practice and some people struggle with platitudes like "just do it" ... If it were that easy we'd all just get off our *kitten* and do it. The truth is, for many of us a weight loss and fitness journey is also a path back to emotional health and dealing with other issues that we've buried with food.
Ignore those who make you feel guilty by making it seem like you're just "making excuses" - We tend to do that when we feel sad and overwhelmed.
That being said, discipline is not the same as punishment. Discipline comes from a place of empowerment and it tends to snowball. Ever noticed how apathy and procrastination snowball into a habit? The good news is so can motivation and determination.
One day at a time - Set small, realistic goals at first. Say - lose five pounds and track everything I eat - once you reach those challenging, but highly attainable goals, add on. The next month start a form of exercise, or make it a goal to try a few types of exercise to find something that you feel you might be able to enjoy. Then increase goals from there - make it a competition with yourself. Everyone loves the feeling of success and winning. You get those feelings routinely by constantly accomplishing new, small goals that lead progressively to the larger goals.
In January, I got winded running up a flight of steps for example. In Feb. I decided I would walk 100 miles that month - I made 85 and felt incredible. In March, I started to jog a bit between walks - A few weeks ago I slowly ran my first 5k without stopping. If my first initial goal was run a 5k when I couldn't run up a flight of steps - I'd have been overwhelmed by that and put it off, or made excuses - because it wasn't realistic, but breaking it down into steps made it possible and I feel better than I have in years.
Make reasonable goals, stop beating yourself up and focus on what you want to gain, more than what you want to lose 0 -
I read your post and the main theme seems to be procrastination. You say yourself you know WHAT to do, just not how to do it and stick with it. Getting away from motivation, how you should eat, how you should work out.......I am going to give you the advice you asked for on "taking advice".
A friend posed this to me a few years ago when I was really down and depressed. Procrastination is based in fear. Think through if you are procrastinating on the things you want (need) to do or are you truly putting off the results of those actions you are procrastinating about? Want to start a new business? Well if you do A, B, and C and have a business....then it is going to take a lot of work and risk to keep a business going, people will depend on you, the business could fail, you could owe a ton of taxes, you could make more money than you literally know what to do with.....the list is endless.
What was asked of me when I was procrastinating on EVERYTHING in my life that would lead to a sense of happiness......was I afraid that I would do all of these things and still not be happy? It was thought provoking and an eye-opener for me.
Sometimes it is painful......but you have to dig deep.0 -
Just wanted to say GREAT post.
Thanks for the great idea.
LewI'm 45 as well & one thing I did to motivate me to work out was I had my wife take a "before" pic, with my shirt off, in all my chubby glory.
I printed it up, put it on my fridge & said "This doesn't come down until I get under 200 lbs."
My wife HATED it...but it worked & within 3 months I had taken that **** down.
You simply HAVE to work out once you're over 40...or you;re just going to doom yourself to being fat for the rest of your life.0 -
Hi neighbor, I live pretty close to you. I think focusing on one thing helped me the most. Tracking my calories. I felt so darn happy and relieved when I ate my allotted calories for a week straight that the exercise just happened naturally because I felt motivated! Best of luck to you, you're gonna do great! :flowerforyou:0
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