Those skinny friends who say you don't need to lose weight

I am borrowing this from one of my favorite blogs:

When you know for a fact you are overweight (and it is having a negative effect on your health) and someone tells you, "You don't need to lose weight." It can translate several ways.

a) "I like being the thin one in our relationship, and I don't want to lose my identity."
b) "I'm afraid if you change you won't be my friend."
c) "I don't like seeing you achieve your goals, because it reminds me of how I am not achieving mine."

This is so wrong I can't decide if I should laugh or weep that people believe this to be the case. Sure there are some people that this describes, but the majority of people don't want to say "yeah girl, you're fat, it's about time." In fact, a lot of people don't even believe that. Most people in America are overweight and don't want to judge others or hurt others feelings. A lot of people, myself included, don't feel that anyone "needs" to lose weight because our media already tells everyone that they aren't good enough unless they look like a model. If a fat friend said they needed to lose weight, I'd tell them they don't need to, but it's cool they want to get healthier.
Your list is awful and is part of the "hate skinny people" mentality and I'd like the name of the blog it's from so I can avoid it.

I am borrowing this from one of my favorite blogs:

When you know for a fact you are overweight (and it is having a negative effect on your health) and someone tells you, "You don't need to lose weight." It can translate several ways.

a) "I like being the thin one in our relationship, and I don't want to lose my identity."
b) "I'm afraid if you change you won't be my friend."
c) "I don't like seeing you achieve your goals, because it reminds me of how I am not achieving mine."

This is so wrong I can't decide if I should laugh or weep that people believe this to be the case. Sure there are some people that this describes, but the majority of people don't want to say "yeah girl, you're fat, it's about time." In fact, a lot of people don't even believe that. Most people in America are overweight and don't want to judge others or hurt others feelings. A lot of people, myself included, don't feel that anyone "needs" to lose weight because our media already tells everyone that they aren't good enough unless they look like a model. If a fat friend said they needed to lose weight, I'd tell them they don't need to, but it's cool they want to get healthier.
Your list is awful and is part of the "hate skinny people" mentality and I'd like the name of the blog it's from so I can avoid it.

I agree.

+1

Sometimes someone saying something polite and nice is just being polite and nice. These attempts to interpret everything anyone says as backhanded compliments and attacks seem awfully self defeating and indicative of self esteem issues, IMHO.

I don't ever say anything to my friends about this. Period. This weight loss/getting fit and healthy thing is my business and no one else's. I just quietly eat right and hit the gym 4x a week without saying a word about it to anyone.

As one who is usually considered the "skinny friend," I often feel incredibly uncomfortable when heavier friends discuss their weight. When someone says "I need to lose weight," sometimes I think, "yes, you certainly do," but am too afraid to say this because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I am also the WORST liar ever, so I also can't say "no! You look great!" So instead I end up just feeling really awkward and uncomfortable. A lot of my friends know of my weight loss journey so they'll ask me for tips or to be their workout buddy, which I think is a much more appropriate way of bringing up the topic. It makes us both feel a lot less judged.

Also, as the "skinny friend," there are times when I put a few pounds back on and want to lose them (such as now). If I say I need to lose some weight, please don't judge me for that or say I'm already skinny - we all have an ideal body size/image we'd like to attain and the fact that my starting point is different from yours shouldn't negate that.

I have the opposite problem... People who are larger than me telling me to shut up because I don't need to lose weight. So I guess I'm the annoying skinnier person? But just because my friend is obese doesn't mean I don't need to lose weight, and it annoys me when they blow me off when I bring up something that is an important goal in my life right now. So...

Yup.
I never purposely try and talk about my weight, but I do talk about exercise or eating healthier.
It sucks when your friends say you don't need to change anything lest you look anorexic.

I'm sure there ARE crappy friends out there, but give them the benefit of the doubt I say.