Relationship + fitness = to lift or not to lift??

Fat2Fit2Fineee
Fat2Fit2Fineee Posts: 43
in Chit-Chat
So if you're into fitness, full-fledged, you know it's a daily way of life. My question (out of curiosity) is:

Is it better for you, personally, to be with a significant other that also has the fitness lifestyle, doesn't or don't care?

I would personally find it easier and more rewarding with one that is, cause they're be more understanding.
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Replies

  • sassyN1989
    sassyN1989 Posts: 424
    I think it is definitely helpful to have supportive people in your life. A significant other is very important so I think ideally I would want them to care but not be over bearing.
  • FFfitgirl
    FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
    I don't think I could be someone who doesn't work out. The highlight of my day is crossfit. I love the way it makes me feel, how much stronger I've gotten. When I have down time I would love someone to go o a run or walk with. I want to be healthy for me and my family and I would like him to feel the same way
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    if you're into it full fledged then it's definitely better to have someone who is the same or at least understands.

    stuff like not wanting to miss a workout, discussing minor and major milestones, etc can be annoyance to people who dont understand.

    plus if you're partner is into fitness that makes it easier to have someone to spot you at the weight room :happy:
  • goldmay
    goldmay Posts: 258 Member
    I'd rather be with someone who cares about fitness, or at least someone who doesn't disagree with my lifestyle. We don't have to workout together, but it might be easier to form bad habits when you're always around someone who doesn't care.
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    I'd MUCH prefer someone who was into it.
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
    Being with someone that shares your same passions no matter what it is would be amazing but obviously it's not mandatory.
  • water_coloured
    water_coloured Posts: 81 Member
    Yes, it is a very important part of my life. I also prefer men with muscular physiques, so they would definitely have to lift.
  • Red_sparkling_Titania
    Red_sparkling_Titania Posts: 485
    It's very important in my every day. My partner is very much into sports/fitness also and we encourage and support each other. Our working shifts clash so we do give up a lot of our time to be at the gym. I think it depends on the out look you both have. As littlebutlean said it's not mandatory but helps.
  • splashtree2
    splashtree2 Posts: 277
    Yes is a Must Have of him, is a lifestyle that i can't give up and my partner as well,
    I consider it very healthy for the mind too.
  • Fat2Fit2Fineee
    Fat2Fit2Fineee Posts: 43
    if you're into it full fledged then it's definitely better to have someone who is the same or at least understands.

    stuff like not wanting to miss a workout, discussing minor and major milestones, etc can be annoyance to people who dont understand.

    plus if you're partner is into fitness that makes it easier to have someone to spot you at the weight room :happy:

    spot on!
  • matthawthorneisamyth
    matthawthorneisamyth Posts: 196 Member
    I enjoy having a partner who is active and has fitness goals. It's one more dimension of our relationship to explore together. I don't think I could be with someone who was slovenly when it came to health and fitness. It would limit ALL of the activities that I enjoy.
  • Leonidas_meets_Spartacus
    Leonidas_meets_Spartacus Posts: 6,198 Member
    I don't care as long as the partner understands the importance of the fitness stuff. I don't expect for me to personally do everything my partner thinks is important. There are bigger compatibility factors than fitness,
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    Normally I would say that I love that my husband lifts with me.....but today, I want to hit the gym....he says he wants to go, but wants a nap first. So here I sit on MFP while he naps, I could have been done and showered by now :grumble:
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    I've been at varying levels of fitness for the 17 years I've been with my husband, I can count the number of times I've gotten my husband to workout with me and wouldn't have to use both hands. We each have our own hobby's and interests and do our own things. He has been VERY supportive of my fitness goals over the last year as I've been pushing towards getting back to my college athlete fitness levels (almost there, getting older sucks :grumble: )

    The only thing I would like to see is him maybe getting in to weight lifting with me if I can get the equipment for our house. He won't even attempt any form of cardio but I *might* be able to get him under the bar if I can format it in the laziest and least time consuming way possible. :laugh: This is not so much because I want a workout buddy, I actually prefer lifting by myself, but his gut does bother him and I know his stress, migraine and digestive issues would improve if he could get a little bit of weight off.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    My wife and I originally found separate paths to fitness and then they converged in the weight room. We now lift together 2 to 3 times a week, mostly the weekends, when our schedules allow. She's a great partner.
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
    I don't care as long as the partner understands the importance of the fitness stuff. I don't expect for me to personally do everything my partner thinks is important. There are bigger compatibility factors than fitness,

    Yep. This.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    My husband and I are both fit. But, I go to the gym to lift weights and have weights at home. And I am a dancer.

    He bikes, runs, hikes, outdoor stuff.

    He is very supportive of my fitness because he enjoys the benefits of it as well. And he also likes to watch me lift weights and dance. Sometimes he dances (and even performs with me) as well.
  • leadslinger17
    leadslinger17 Posts: 297 Member
    I don't think it's a must have, but the person would have to be understanding and supportive of it and not resent the time and effort taken to do it. It definitely would make it easier, I know it would be hard to eat healthy with someone tempting you all the time. My wife and I are both into fitness, but do different things. She likes more classes (crossfit, zumba, kickboxing) while I like running more. We both lift weights. Schedules and kids don't really allow it now, but on the few occasions we have worked out together in the weight room or trying some class or something it has been a lot of fun.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    It never used to be important to me. Now that I'm single again, it kind of is. I mean, you don't have to do what I do, but do something.
  • IPAkiller
    IPAkiller Posts: 711 Member
    Doesn't make much difference to me. A person's ability to be "understanding" really is affected little by their activity level. They're either going to tolerate morning workouts/ eating habits / activity levels or not. Just don't forget that if they are understanding of you, you have to be understanding of them. Don't get all high and mighty when they actually enjoy food, 10am wakeups or couching it up to a good movie.

    There are far too many other factors that bring people together (or split them up) than if they can jog together.
  • ChasingMyBliss
    ChasingMyBliss Posts: 803 Member
    Here is my opinion...

    It is hard to work towards your own fitness goals when your other half doesn't have an interest in staying fit and active. You don't need to do all the same things, and spend every minute together, but is nice if the paths do intersect here and there letting you follow some of your passions together, and others on your own.

    The problems come when one person's personality and needs don't allow for the other to seek their own path. As long as you are able to encourage each other, and be understanding of each other's personal goals, you can make it work.

    I would love to lift with my partner once in a while, but not every day.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Doesn't make much difference to me. A person's ability to be "understanding" really is affected little by their activity level. They're either going to tolerate morning workouts/ eating habits / activity levels or not. Just don't forget that if they are understanding of you, you have to be understanding of them. Don't get all high and mighty when they actually enjoy food, 10am wakeups or couching it up to a good movie.

    There are far too many other factors that bring people together (or split them up) than if they can jog together.

    Like sex and sammiches.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I never really cared before, to be honest, but now-a-days I feel like whoever I date has to at least be outdoorsy because many of my life goals and interests involve the outdoors and some fitness. Not saying they have to be fit, thin, muscular or anything. I just think it's easier when you have an SO who can do things with you like 5ks or hikes. That's just my opinion.

    I think overall it's up to you and what works best for your life. Try dating someone who fits that MO and then make adjustments in expectations and wants from there.

    Best of luck to you!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I would not respect someone who doesn't work at taking care of himself. Now, I don't care how he does it (although he gets bonus points for lifting). But if you're just sitting around getting fat and old and useless, then I can't depend on you, which means you are not going to be in my life.

    I acknowledge that there was a time in my life when I made no effort whatsoever regarding my general health and well-being. And I know how miserable I was. I also know how much better my life is now. I understand everyone has to come to that epiphany in his or her own time, but if you're years away from that, I'm not going to stop moving for you.

    It is what it is.
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
    It is much easier both being into it.

    If she isn't, either she converts or it wont last (for me). It's much more enjoyable having someone who can actually encourage you, share in your progress, and talk about the things you care about...in this case working out.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    Well, I've had the same SO since I started my interest in lifting/fitness and he's the person that got me interested in it, so I'm not really sure how it would work out if I was with somebody now who had no interest in lifting, having not been in that situation.

    I can't imagine it being an issue if I'm honest, if they don't make it an issue. I'm going to agree with what ItsCasey said with respect to, I don't want somebody who has no interest at all in taking care of themselves. If they just sit around and let themselves get more and more overweight without regard for their health or my thoughts, that doesn't appeal to me. I want somebody who cares about their health and well-being enough that it's at least not deteriorating more than is typical as we age. Basically, don't be a complete slob, we're not going to have that much in common (coming from a person who's not really that active outside of lifting)

    Apart from that, I don't mind if they lift or not. They have to be completely supportive of me and what I do, but they don't have to share the passion. There is way more to a person, and what they're like / how they treat you, than just whether they lift or not. When it comes down to it, does it really matter if they lift when they tick every other box?
    I won't deny it though, if they lift, that's a huge bonus! In terms of both me being physically attracted to them, and sharing common interests/life goals/someone to train with.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    My husband does not share my level of interest in health and fitness. I think for that one aspect of life - fitness - it would be easier. But not necessarily for life in general. Nothing beats good old fashioned chemistry for long term happiness IMO.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    i don't know. i guess it depends on how large a part of your life it was and how understanding they were even if not in the "fitness lifestyle."

    I mean, if we share other interests in terms of entertainment, humor, values, and familial priorities, then is me working out and her not going to be a deal breaker? probably not.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    My husband and I have been together almost 15 years. I used to run on the treadmill in the basement (and watch movies) for years while he sat on the couch. I didn't mind, b/c we were spending time together. He wasn't overweight, but not in the greatest shape (b/c he didn't exercise at all).

    He started going to the free gym at his work a few years ago...he actually started to like exercising. He joined my gym. He was the one who got me to start using weights.

    It's nice to have someone to workout with...and it's nice that my husband and I can spend time together at the gym (while the kids are in the gym daycare).
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    It'd be nice to have someone to do mud runs and stuff with, but there's other qualities that are more important to me, honestly.

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