Relationship + fitness = to lift or not to lift??

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  • ChasingMyBliss
    ChasingMyBliss Posts: 803 Member
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    Here is my opinion...

    It is hard to work towards your own fitness goals when your other half doesn't have an interest in staying fit and active. You don't need to do all the same things, and spend every minute together, but is nice if the paths do intersect here and there letting you follow some of your passions together, and others on your own.

    The problems come when one person's personality and needs don't allow for the other to seek their own path. As long as you are able to encourage each other, and be understanding of each other's personal goals, you can make it work.

    I would love to lift with my partner once in a while, but not every day.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Doesn't make much difference to me. A person's ability to be "understanding" really is affected little by their activity level. They're either going to tolerate morning workouts/ eating habits / activity levels or not. Just don't forget that if they are understanding of you, you have to be understanding of them. Don't get all high and mighty when they actually enjoy food, 10am wakeups or couching it up to a good movie.

    There are far too many other factors that bring people together (or split them up) than if they can jog together.

    Like sex and sammiches.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    I never really cared before, to be honest, but now-a-days I feel like whoever I date has to at least be outdoorsy because many of my life goals and interests involve the outdoors and some fitness. Not saying they have to be fit, thin, muscular or anything. I just think it's easier when you have an SO who can do things with you like 5ks or hikes. That's just my opinion.

    I think overall it's up to you and what works best for your life. Try dating someone who fits that MO and then make adjustments in expectations and wants from there.

    Best of luck to you!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I would not respect someone who doesn't work at taking care of himself. Now, I don't care how he does it (although he gets bonus points for lifting). But if you're just sitting around getting fat and old and useless, then I can't depend on you, which means you are not going to be in my life.

    I acknowledge that there was a time in my life when I made no effort whatsoever regarding my general health and well-being. And I know how miserable I was. I also know how much better my life is now. I understand everyone has to come to that epiphany in his or her own time, but if you're years away from that, I'm not going to stop moving for you.

    It is what it is.
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
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    It is much easier both being into it.

    If she isn't, either she converts or it wont last (for me). It's much more enjoyable having someone who can actually encourage you, share in your progress, and talk about the things you care about...in this case working out.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    Well, I've had the same SO since I started my interest in lifting/fitness and he's the person that got me interested in it, so I'm not really sure how it would work out if I was with somebody now who had no interest in lifting, having not been in that situation.

    I can't imagine it being an issue if I'm honest, if they don't make it an issue. I'm going to agree with what ItsCasey said with respect to, I don't want somebody who has no interest at all in taking care of themselves. If they just sit around and let themselves get more and more overweight without regard for their health or my thoughts, that doesn't appeal to me. I want somebody who cares about their health and well-being enough that it's at least not deteriorating more than is typical as we age. Basically, don't be a complete slob, we're not going to have that much in common (coming from a person who's not really that active outside of lifting)

    Apart from that, I don't mind if they lift or not. They have to be completely supportive of me and what I do, but they don't have to share the passion. There is way more to a person, and what they're like / how they treat you, than just whether they lift or not. When it comes down to it, does it really matter if they lift when they tick every other box?
    I won't deny it though, if they lift, that's a huge bonus! In terms of both me being physically attracted to them, and sharing common interests/life goals/someone to train with.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    My husband does not share my level of interest in health and fitness. I think for that one aspect of life - fitness - it would be easier. But not necessarily for life in general. Nothing beats good old fashioned chemistry for long term happiness IMO.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    i don't know. i guess it depends on how large a part of your life it was and how understanding they were even if not in the "fitness lifestyle."

    I mean, if we share other interests in terms of entertainment, humor, values, and familial priorities, then is me working out and her not going to be a deal breaker? probably not.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    My husband and I have been together almost 15 years. I used to run on the treadmill in the basement (and watch movies) for years while he sat on the couch. I didn't mind, b/c we were spending time together. He wasn't overweight, but not in the greatest shape (b/c he didn't exercise at all).

    He started going to the free gym at his work a few years ago...he actually started to like exercising. He joined my gym. He was the one who got me to start using weights.

    It's nice to have someone to workout with...and it's nice that my husband and I can spend time together at the gym (while the kids are in the gym daycare).
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,820 Member
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    It'd be nice to have someone to do mud runs and stuff with, but there's other qualities that are more important to me, honestly.
  • p8liwag
    p8liwag Posts: 919 Member
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    I always wonder if I were to go down hill (weight-wise) will my bf or husband help support me or leave me.
    A good friend once told me that if his spouse gets too big he would encourage her to going running with him or make her join the gym. Ultimately, if her weight continued to increase because of laziness he would leave.. So it depends if you choose to change your lifestyle because a man can't change it for you..
  • MuscleAndMascara
    MuscleAndMascara Posts: 1,259 Member
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    I could care less either way. I do it for me and no one else. You can join me or you can move aside.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    I don't think it matters that much. My husband is very busy and likes to relax in his spare time. He is supportive of my fitness goals and that is all that matters. Sometimes we play tennis or golf together but I don't expect him to workout 5-6 days per week like I do.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    I got together with my wife -- before she was my wife -- because we both liked to run. I think that is pretty common and natural; that is, you share common likes and habits with your significant other.

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