Overweight?!? What weight should I be under?....

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This a rant...

A rant influenced by my mother in law recently (on the weekend) calling me overweight, and also the overall self image many of us struggle with. I think we throw around the terms fat, overweight and obese very thoughtlessly. People I have heard say their getting fat or putting on weight are often fixated with the number on the scales and this rediculous notion that we have to have a six pack and be lean all the time. And its sad, there is nothing wrong with being heavy and strong, and not seeing your six pack! It doesnt mean your overweight, on the contrary in most cases it just means your healthy. When did healthy become the yo-yo diet and skinny mentality?

I think we need to be a little kinder to ourselves sometimes, and stop judging what were not and concentrate on what weve become. You are not fat if you have fat, you are not overweight if your heavy and you are not obese if you arent a size 8 or 10 (AU)...

So when my mother in law verbilised her own insecurites i very quickly corrected her...i am not overweight...im not even fat... im in a very healthy body fat range with some heavy *kitten* muscle. A woman that neither eats propely, excercies or even has self control (uses lap band to control her weight) has the right to judge my body or anyone elses...

So think again before calling some these terms... they probably already have their own inner demons or working their ****ing *kitten* off to change that.

Replies

  • wellforlife_uk
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    Agreed. Sometimes people make throw away comments and they don't realise how much they effect you.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    ^^this. how you didn't control your laughter is beyond me
  • diamier
    diamier Posts: 66 Member
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    Agree on the most points especially that one, when you said that this word is overused, though, people today are really concerned about this fat-shaming lately. In my opinion the criticism usually has to deal with not the fat shaming (looking bad as fat) itself, but the fact, that overweight people are really unhealthy - their back, joints, bones hurt, they feel depressed, their heart and vascular systems are poor. I don't think we shouldn't criticize overweight people, but the same goes for underweight too. Why overweight is special? In today's society it is normal to accept the fact overweight as a 'normal weight', but though it will help for people's self esteem, I doubt that it will be o.k. for their health.

    However, looking at your photo you don't seem overweight at all! And moreover, humans with poor lifestyle and diet/fitness choices as your mother in law are really bad at encouraging people to start a healthy lifestyle...

    Good luck!
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    Agree on the most points especially that one, when you said that this word is overused, though, people today are really concerned about this fat-shaming lately. In my opinion the criticism usually has to deal with not the fat shaming (looking bad as fat) itself, but the fact, that overweight people are really unhealthy - their back, joints, bones hurt, they feel depressed, their heart and vascular systems are poor. I don't think we shouldn't criticize overweight people, but the same goes for underweight too. Why overweight is special? In today's society it is normal to accept the fact overweight as a 'normal weight', but though it will help for people's self esteem, I doubt that it will be o.k. for their health.

    However, looking at your photo you don't seem overweight at all! And moreover, humans with poor lifestyle and diet/fitness choices as your mother in law are really bad at encouraging people to start a healthy lifestyle...

    Good luck!

    Im not talking about fat-shaming. Im talking about people that are legit not fat or overweight, but have such a warped perception of themselves they believe it to be so.
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    Moreover I dont look this lean. I was competing in these photos. But im just in a good offseason weight range. No abs, but plenty of muscle definition.

    But I guess in her mind, Im either 10% bf or overweight...lol
  • fredgiblet
    fredgiblet Posts: 241 Member
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    Tell her the internet says you have a gorgeous body. Make sure she understands it's not Tumblr saying that.
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    Tell her the internet says you have a gorgeous body. Make sure she understands it's not Tumblr saying that.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    Moreover I dont look this lean. I was competing in these photos. But im just in a good offseason weight range. No abs, but plenty of muscle definition.

    But I guess in her mind, Im either 10% bf or overweight...lol

    She clearly has her own insecurities which she's projecting on to you.

    Doesn't matter if you're at that size or not, you obviously have a good grip on what is healthy or not in terms of body image... it's good that you corrected her and did not allow her to continue trying to body shame you.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    Moreover I dont look this lean. I was competing in these photos. But im just in a good offseason weight range. No abs, but plenty of muscle definition.

    But I guess in her mind, Im either 10% bf or overweight...lol
    Unless you're on a really ****ing epic bulk, I can't picture you really being fat :P
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
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    Well said

    I think that lady HAS SOME ISSUES HERSELF!!!!!!!

    If that's you in the profile - YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    Moreover I dont look this lean. I was competing in these photos. But im just in a good offseason weight range. No abs, but plenty of muscle definition.

    But I guess in her mind, Im either 10% bf or overweight...lol
    Unless you're on a really ****ing epic bulk, I can't picture you really being fat :P

    I bulk hard bro....in moderation :wink:
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    Well said

    I think that lady HAS SOME ISSUES HERSELF!!!!!!!

    If that's you in the profile - YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!!!!!!!


    thankyou... :)
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    She called you overweight? As in that person in your profile picture? Overweight?

    I commend you for not falling into a heap on the floor, laughing at her.

    Moreover I dont look this lean. I was competing in these photos. But im just in a good offseason weight range. No abs, but plenty of muscle definition.

    But I guess in her mind, Im either 10% bf or overweight...lol

    She clearly has her own insecurities which she's projecting on to you.

    Doesn't matter if you're at that size or not, you obviously have a good grip on what is healthy or not in terms of body image... it's good that you corrected her and did not allow her to continue trying to body shame you.

    Thanks, my sito is hard. Im marrying her son, but they are italian. I feel like Debra in the Every one loves Ray lol, im always wrong they are ALWAYS right and when they arent everyone has to forget about it. So im forever going to be unpopular because I call them out on their bull****. But hey....now were gettting personal and sidetracking from the point of this post and that is peoples warped perception of a healthy weight range is.
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    Well said

    I think that lady HAS SOME ISSUES HERSELF!!!!!!!

    If that's you in the profile - YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

    Im a bit softer now im not competeing, but im not overweight lol
  • rexroars
    rexroars Posts: 131 Member
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    Wow I think you handled that really well lol... if I looked like you and someone called me 'overweight' or 'fat' I literally just wouldn't know what to say??? Because it would be so absurd.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    This a rant...

    A rant influenced by my mother in law recently (on the weekend) calling me overweight, and also the overall self image many of us struggle with. I think we throw around the terms fat, overweight and obese very thoughtlessly. People I have heard say their getting fat or putting on weight are often fixated with the number on the scales and this rediculous notion that we have to have a six pack and be lean all the time. And its sad, there is nothing wrong with being heavy and strong, and not seeing your six pack! It doesnt mean your overweight, on the contrary in most cases it just means your healthy. When did healthy become the yo-yo diet and skinny mentality?

    I think we need to be a little kinder to ourselves sometimes, and stop judging what were not and concentrate on what weve become. You are not fat if you have fat, you are not overweight if your heavy and you are not obese if you arent a size 8 or 10 (AU)...

    So when my mother in law verbilised her own insecurites i very quickly corrected her...i am not overweight...im not even fat... im in a very healthy body fat range with some heavy *kitten* muscle. A woman that neither eats propely, excercies or even has self control (uses lap band to control her weight) has the right to judge my body or anyone elses...

    So think again before calling some these terms... they probably already have their own inner demons or working their ****ing *kitten* off to change that.

    Even though you KNOW that what she said is hogwash, it still hurts coming from a family member, or soon-to-be family member. I'm sorry she's like this, but I think you handled it quite well and hopefully she will think twice before saying something like that again.

    It reminds me of another very well built fella on this site who's doc told him he was overfat because his BMI was higher than average. The guy pulled his shirt up and pounded on his rock hard abs. "Does that look like fat to you?!" Just something to keep in mind for the future. haha
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
    Options
    This a rant...

    A rant influenced by my mother in law recently (on the weekend) calling me overweight, and also the overall self image many of us struggle with. I think we throw around the terms fat, overweight and obese very thoughtlessly. People I have heard say their getting fat or putting on weight are often fixated with the number on the scales and this rediculous notion that we have to have a six pack and be lean all the time. And its sad, there is nothing wrong with being heavy and strong, and not seeing your six pack! It doesnt mean your overweight, on the contrary in most cases it just means your healthy. When did healthy become the yo-yo diet and skinny mentality?

    I think we need to be a little kinder to ourselves sometimes, and stop judging what were not and concentrate on what weve become. You are not fat if you have fat, you are not overweight if your heavy and you are not obese if you arent a size 8 or 10 (AU)...

    So when my mother in law verbilised her own insecurites i very quickly corrected her...i am not overweight...im not even fat... im in a very healthy body fat range with some heavy *kitten* muscle. A woman that neither eats propely, excercies or even has self control (uses lap band to control her weight) has the right to judge my body or anyone elses...

    So think again before calling some these terms... they probably already have their own inner demons or working their ****ing *kitten* off to change that.

    Even though you KNOW that what she said is hogwash, it still hurts coming from a family member, or soon-to-be family member. I'm sorry she's like this, but I think you handled it quite well and hopefully she will think twice before saying something like that again.

    It reminds me of another very well built fella on this site who's doc told him he was overfat because his BMI was higher than average. The guy pulled his shirt up and pounded on his rock hard abs. "Does that look like fat to you?!" Just something to keep in mind for the future. haha

    I think it might even be worse if its coming from a medical professional.
  • loveby30
    loveby30 Posts: 76 Member
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    I am sorry you had to deal with that. Even though it was nonesense it still sucks big time

    I think this highlights a bigger problem in our society (I am speaking mainly of western society because that's what i know). We have a very all or nothing mentality when it comes to a lot of things, professional success, economic success, personal success etc. And I think this has led us to have a hugely dichotomous view of weight.

    A person, mainly women for this, is either A) Obese and extremely unhealthy and need to be "fixed" or B) A size 0-4 (US) with less than 20% body fat. And there is NOTHING inbetween.

    I think a lot of this has to do with media portrayals of women and the constant and never ended noise about women's bodies. There is no doubt a massive health problem due to obesity and obesity related issues but when people grow up hear about those dangers and then are ONLY being exposed to one very extreme form of "beauty" and health is it any wonder that people think they are overweight or other's are overweight if they don't look like a model on a fitspo poster?
  • Nikkisfitblog
    Nikkisfitblog Posts: 149 Member
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    I am sorry you had to deal with that. Even though it was nonesense it still sucks big time

    I think this highlights a bigger problem in our society (I am speaking mainly of western society because that's what i know). We have a very all or nothing mentality when it comes to a lot of things, professional success, economic success, personal success etc. And I think this has led us to have a hugely dichotomous view of weight.

    A person, mainly women for this, is either A) Obese and extremely unhealthy and need to be "fixed" or B) A size 0-4 (US) with less than 20% body fat. And there is NOTHING inbetween.

    I think a lot of this has to do with media portrayals of women and the constant and never ended noise about women's bodies. There is no doubt a massive health problem due to obesity and obesity related issues but when people grow up hear about those dangers and then are ONLY being exposed to one very extreme form of "beauty" and health is it any wonder that people think they are overweight or other's are overweight if they don't look like a model on a fitspo poster?

    Completely agree. And was more the point I was trying to make.