I"M FAT.

TrainingToBePerfect
TrainingToBePerfect Posts: 1,418 Member
in Introduce Yourself
July 18th, 2014. I’ve got a whole year to change my life, my eating habits, my body. 120 pounds to lose.
Before march of 2014, I had eaten this way, no joke daily.

Breakfast- 2 slices of bread, peanut butter.
Tea (2 sugar one milk)

Snack- French Vanilla
Boston Cream

Dinner- Whatever was cooked the night before, potatoes, fries, chicken you name it. Top it off with a bar and bag of chips

Snack- meh whatever was around, chips, bar, candy?

Supper- Takeout ? yes why not.

Snack- potato chips, you know the good stuff and if it was a weekend bring on the booze.


Really? Is this a fu*king life I want to live? Be 50 years old, too tired to get off my *kitten* and “tie my shoe?”. I can’t help to think I was destroying my body. I’m over weight. I’m big. When I started this lifestyle change I was 291 FREAKING POUNDS. Really?, that’s sick. Disgusting. And to think I’m only 259 pounds. Still that’s gross. I’m 23, life ahead of me and I can’t enjoy summer because I’m too lazy to get up and do something about it. That’s it I’m LAZY. Yeah lets go to the beach, wait don’t forget my massive towel that I could wrap myself up in. Sweet Can’t wait!, …yeah.. Can’t wait alright.. to get that ice cream.. (that’s how my mind functions) Sick. Turns my stomach.
In the meantime I’ve lost 34 pounds but I’m starting today as if I haven’t lost any. Being a bigger girl, is actually the hardest thing. I’m so physically capable, and I’m able to change who I am but I rather sit here and abuse the fact that I can physically be able to do so.
It’s not easy you know. Being the “Bigger” girl growing up and it’s even harder when you’re an adult. “Some” people (those tiny females, nothing against them) have it so easy, eat a big mac? Don’t’ gain weight, but internally it’s not healthy. But when it comes to me eating that **** is a pleasure and to that other person that’s tiny its garbage. So my question is, if its garbage why the hell do I eat it. Food is seriously my only enemy. It’s something I look to for everything, comfort, boredom, or just plain happy. I don’t want to be this way. I want to change it. But it’s so hard to do that, make that final decision.
Summer is here. Yes that means eating crap, no joke. Late night parties, travelling, hot summer days, drinking, camping around the campfire, easy throw on hot dogs, potato chips all that crap. Before, I didn’t give a **** how bad those things were. Now I know.

So welcome to my life, welcome to the things I deal with. I’m a walking living thing of a bad habit. Something so easy to do. Why couldn’t I be the person who was “FIT, WORK OUT, LIVE EAT SLEEP WORKING OUT”.. Wait why can’t I? I’m only 23 I have a big life to live, and I can change it. And I’m going to.. This today, is a little note to myself. A year from now I’m going to read it. I’ll be dammed if I’m still in these shoes I am now. So help me out, no bull****, motivate me. please Don't add me because I'm pretty or because you are going to be a ghost friend, I want people who are going to write on my wall. Help me be the person who I want to be.

Being something you wish you were, meaning I will be. I will cause I can.
«1

Replies

  • TKhamvongsa
    TKhamvongsa Posts: 287
    First off. Take baby steps! Please focus on your nutrition and see what works right for you. Don't just hop on that whole clean eating band wagon. Research what diet works best for you. Everything in moderation is good for you so don't x any specific foods out of your diet because they're "bad"

    Start moving. It's easy - there's home workouts available via youtube. It's also summer - you can aim for daily walks/jogs.

    I personally like the gym because of the air condition.. And it's also "me time"
  • youngevitylib
    youngevitylib Posts: 5
    You have got to look into 'Youngevity'
    Sugar is addictive. If you stop eating sugar it'll take at least 21 days for the cravings to stop & sugar is every where but while your feeling this strongly I believe you could do it.

    Youngevity 'Healthy start packs' include 90 essential nutrients your body needs daily, once you get those you stop craving so much **** because all of a sudden your body is getting what it needs.

    Go on YouTube and search 'Healthy Body Challenge' I swear by these products and I really hope you'll give it a chance.

    You can look at the products at libby.sutton@buyygy.com

    Please do look into the science/history behind it by listening to 'Dead Doctors Don't lie by Dr Joel Wallach'

    Find me on facebook as 'Youngevity Lib' I'd love to help x
  • chereedoggett
    chereedoggett Posts: 57 Member
    OMG!! You are being so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up. For what? It just makes you more depressed. Heck I got depressed just by reading it. I am also a big girl or should I say woman cause I am older than you. Instead of focusing on the bad focus on the good no matter how big or small. I have learned that the more you down yourself the more you will believe everything you said about yourself and fall right back in that same trap. Celebrate and praise the good that you accomplished no matter what it is. If you give up one thing no matter how big or small for that minute that second that day or for how long, celebrate that. Be proud of it no matter what it is. If you celebrate that just as hard as you beat yourself up a minute ago maybe you will feel better. I hope you read this and it can help you. I myself am on a weight loss journey and it is hard. Alot of times I fall off the wagon but I get back on and keep trying because if I don't keep trying it means that I gave up; and I don't like to give up. So I hope this makes you feel better. Because I do just by replying to your post. So see what you have done. You gave me motivation. I don't have any friends on this sight so If you want to chat back and forth by all means. Good luck and wish me luck as well.
  • youngevitylib
    youngevitylib Posts: 5
    by the way, eggs, avocado's, fatty meat, nuts.......nut butters, lara bars, dark chocolate, whey protein......All amazing things.
    Fat doesn't make you fat.........sugar does! Avoid Wheat, barley, oats & rye, grains especially Gluten can raise your blood sugar more than sugar does. You really should listen to 'dead doctors don't lie' It'll open your eyes!
    xxxxx
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    OMG!! You are being so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up. For what? It just makes you more depressed. Heck I got depressed just by reading it. I am also a big girl or should I say woman cause I am older than you. Instead of focusing on the bad focus on the good no matter how big or small. I have learned that the more you down yourself the more you will believe everything you said about yourself and fall right back in that same trap. Celebrate and praise the good that you accomplished no matter what it is. If you give up one thing no matter how big or small for that minute that second that day or for how long, celebrate that. Be proud of it no matter what it is. If you celebrate that just as hard as you beat yourself up a minute ago maybe you will feel better. I hope you read this and it can help you. I myself am on a weight loss journey and it is hard. Alot of times I fall off the wagon but I get back on and keep trying because if I don't keep trying it means that I gave up; and I don't like to give up. So I hope this makes you feel better. Because I do just by replying to your post. So see what you have done. You gave me motivation. I don't have any friends on this sight so If you want to chat back and forth by all means. Good luck and wish me luck as well.

    With all due respect....I don't think she is being too hard on herself. She realizes that it is a big deal, that she has a serious problem, and now is the time to do something about it. I can relate with her.

    OP - You go girl, you can do it, and this one year of sacrifice is going to save your life and make it awesome. Continue with MFP, log your food, eat your goal calories, exercies, use a kitchen scale to weight food, measure, etc and dont be afraid to have a snack of icecream anytime you can fit it within your goals.......YOU CAN DO IT!
  • ashlando
    ashlando Posts: 125 Member
    My advice to you is to take it one day at a time. You are putting too much on yourself too soon! Don't give yourself a deadline either. That implies that there is an end date to your weight loss journey. There shouldn't be an end date - the changes you are making should be changes that you are willing to keep and come from deep within you. We can help you, give you advice, motivation, etc, but in the end, the true motivation must come from within or the changes will not be lasting.

    I can say this because I've been on fad diet after fad diet. I've tried every exercise regimen there is. Nothing stuck. I wasn't truly ready.

    I know you can do this, but you need to know that as well. It won't be overnight and it won't be easy but if you take it one day at a time, I promise you that you will see results.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    So your diary is open (not sure if you meant it to be or not, but nonetheless it is).

    You're set to only eat 1300 calories/day???

    That's not going to help and here's why: you said you're down to 259 lbs (which is great from 291 - congrats) and if you were used to eating the diet you listed and you suddenly cut a drastic amount out of your diet you will not get the results you want, long term.

    Your body is amazing - it can adapt to things you didn't even know it could. However, if you went from say a 3,000 calorie/day diet to 1,300 at first you will drop like crazy because your body isn't used to it but eventually your body will get used to and you simply can't keep cutting enough to keep that deficit happening.

    Now here's the other thing: if you absoutely need to eat that low and can stick to it - great. But if you're going to please eat back any calories you may burn from exercise. When you're eating that few of calories you need to make sure you net all of them. If you exercise 500 calories off, lets say, and you only eat 1300 a day total you're actually only netting 800 - which isn't healthy and can develop into an unhealthy relationship with food or an ED.

    Please make sure you're doing this right :) and best of luck.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    It sounds like she's having her katabasis.

    Nothing wrong with that.

    I had mine in June 2012.

    I've lost about 65 lb and still going since then.

    Get it, OP!
  • amy8400
    amy8400 Posts: 478 Member
    OP, I hope you will look at this next year as one of change...not suffering for your past choices or weaknesses. Make it a year about YOU and who you are and will be. Eat with purpose. Exercise with purpose. Live with purpose. One year from now, you'll be the same person only a whole lot better. And the changes you've made along the way you can live with the rest of your life. It's not about depriving and punishing yourself...it's about building a new you and not looking back. :flowerforyou:
  • tweedledee16
    tweedledee16 Posts: 58 Member
    My advice to you is to take it one day at a time. You are putting too much on yourself too soon! Don't give yourself a deadline either. That implies that there is an end date to your weight loss journey. There shouldn't be an end date - the changes you are making should be changes that you are willing to keep and come from deep within you. We can help you, give you advice, motivation, etc, but in the end, the true motivation must come from within or the changes will not be lasting.

    I can say this because I've been on fad diet after fad diet. I've tried every exercise regimen there is. Nothing stuck. I wasn't truly ready.

    I know you can do this, but you need to know that as well. It won't be overnight and it won't be easy but if you take it one day at a time, I promise you that you will see results.


    ^This. Feel free to add, I'm on MFP daily....
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    Just get started. Plug the numbers in and set a goal of two pounds a week. I decided long ago that for me this is not a diet, its a lifestyle change. Diets end and this doesn't. I started my food changes by giving up things I know can't be good like french fries, potato chips and sugary drinks. I moved on to swapping other foods like eggs & bacon, buttered toast for oatmeal with fruit, walnuts and chia seeds for breakfast. My old snacks are gone and replaced with tree nuts and apples. Doesn''t have to be all at once but take one positive action each week. Exercise worked very well for me because it allows me to eat back my workout and hey, I love to eat. I made a slow start and hit it very hard over the last six months. Lost what I needed to both in size and weight. The bonus was my recent blood test that showed over a fifty point drop in cholesterol. Do this and you will be so glad you did. It takes a very strong commitment to yourself.
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
    You have described what a lot of us went through. I have the same mind set, like when we go to a stadium all I can think of is stadium food! I am preoccupied with food, I love the junk, I ate for all those reasons like boredom, anger, laziness. And boy was I lazy.

    The difference is, just for accuracy, I weighed significantly less than you, not to brag, but to be clear. but even though I'm smaller I understand what you feel.

    I know someone wrote not to get caught up in clean eating, but I think it would do you good to decrease junk by a lot. Because I found that, for me and for many people, the food you eat is making you eat more of it. The more I get whole, natural foods like vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, fruit, and the less white flour and white sugar, the easier it is for me to be strong. It was when I learned how to control myself around chips, bagels and cookies is when I brought them back to my diet. And I still am careful. Too much and the craving alarm goes off. Also, the junk food is making you lazy. It makes you sluggish. I know because I was a lazy lazy lazy person all my life until I changed my nutrition. I still schedule a lot of rest but I am not lazy anymore.

    So, everyone is different, but eating better foods can help a lot.

    Next, how do you stop using food when you are bored/sad/etc?
    It's a habit that takes a long time to form, but it's possible. And you need to continue practicing it.
    If you are bored- go do something. Sing! It will occupy your mouth. Cook! It takes a long time and you get a nutritious meal at the end. etc etc
    If you are upset. Sit down, take a deep breath and think- what happened? Why am I upset? What can I do about it? And remember- cake doesn't make the problems go away. You just add another problem.

    Those are lessons that I learned about myself.

    Most of my weight I lost with WW points plus, and I think it's a great program to try.

    I wish you a lot of strength and perseverance.
  • sarvalfon
    sarvalfon Posts: 53 Member
    Hey!

    You know, it's really interesting. I read an article yesterday about how it's almost necessary to be a phoenix when it comes to this stuff.

    http://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/phoenix-theory

    The most successful individuals are not the ones who feel so badly that they cry themselves into fitness...it's the ones who get mad. Get angry. Fill themselves with fire, burn, and reemerge...bigger, badder, faster, stronger.

    Get mad. Stay mad. Kick *kitten*.

    Being fat is a choice. So is being fit. Get in there. Fight for it, because it's not going to just be given to you.
  • 1911JR
    1911JR Posts: 276
    July 18th, 2014. I’ve got a whole year to change my life, my eating habits, my body. 120 pounds to lose.
    Before march of 2014, I had eaten this way, no joke daily.

    Breakfast- 2 slices of bread, peanut butter.
    Tea (2 sugar one milk)

    Snack- French Vanilla
    Boston Cream

    Dinner- Whatever was cooked the night before, potatoes, fries, chicken you name it. Top it off with a bar and bag of chips

    Snack- meh whatever was around, chips, bar, candy?

    Supper- Takeout ? yes why not.

    Snack- potato chips, you know the good stuff and if it was a weekend bring on the booze.


    Really? Is this a fu*king life I want to live? Be 50 years old, too tired to get off my *kitten* and “tie my shoe?”. I can’t help to think I was destroying my body. I’m over weight. I’m big. When I started this lifestyle change I was 291 FREAKING POUNDS. Really?, that’s sick. Disgusting. And to think I’m only 259 pounds. Still that’s gross. I’m 23, life ahead of me and I can’t enjoy summer because I’m too lazy to get up and do something about it. That’s it I’m LAZY. Yeah lets go to the beach, wait don’t forget my massive towel that I could wrap myself up in. Sweet Can’t wait!, …yeah.. Can’t wait alright.. to get that ice cream.. (that’s how my mind functions) Sick. Turns my stomach.
    In the meantime I’ve lost 34 pounds but I’m starting today as if I haven’t lost any. Being a bigger girl, is actually the hardest thing. I’m so physically capable, and I’m able to change who I am but I rather sit here and abuse the fact that I can physically be able to do so.
    It’s not easy you know. Being the “Bigger” girl growing up and it’s even harder when you’re an adult. “Some” people (those tiny females, nothing against them) have it so easy, eat a big mac? Don’t’ gain weight, but internally it’s not healthy. But when it comes to me eating that **** is a pleasure and to that other person that’s tiny its garbage. So my question is, if its garbage why the hell do I eat it. Food is seriously my only enemy. It’s something I look to for everything, comfort, boredom, or just plain happy. I don’t want to be this way. I want to change it. But it’s so hard to do that, make that final decision.
    Summer is here. Yes that means eating crap, no joke. Late night parties, travelling, hot summer days, drinking, camping around the campfire, easy throw on hot dogs, potato chips all that crap. Before, I didn’t give a **** how bad those things were. Now I know.

    So welcome to my life, welcome to the things I deal with. I’m a walking living thing of a bad habit. Something so easy to do. Why couldn’t I be the person who was “FIT, WORK OUT, LIVE EAT SLEEP WORKING OUT”.. Wait why can’t I? I’m only 23 I have a big life to live, and I can change it. And I’m going to.. This today, is a little note to myself. A year from now I’m going to read it. I’ll be dammed if I’m still in these shoes I am now. So help me out, no bull****, motivate me. please Don't add me because I'm pretty or because you are going to be a ghost friend, I want people who are going to write on my wall. Help me be the person who I want to be.

    Being something you wish you were, meaning I will be. I will cause I can.

    I think your on the right track. Bravo, its ok to beat up on yourself. Some of us need that, and how we make it happen! You know what you want and need, and your the one driving it. Go with what works, and it all starts in the brain.

    All the best...

    All you have to do now is make it happen.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Use this calculator to help determine a realistic goal. I plugged in your numbers, guessing your height at 5'4'' and with a very aggressive weight loss goal, it still put you at 1772 calories/day.

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Friend request me if you would like. I would love to help you. I will hold you accountable. I am on here daily. Do not friend request me if you truly do not want to hear me "call you out". If I see you are not on here daily, logging daily or doing half-assed logging, I will un-friend you. I wish for you to have persistence and determination. You are only 23...dont rush the weight loss. You have the rest of your life to make these changes. Trust me, if you starve yourself at 1300 calories/day, you will surely fail. Start out at a realistic goal. If in a couple of weeks the scale is not moving, go down a little. You have to find what works for you so this is sustainable. Also, as you lose weight (every 5-10 pounds) re calculate your daily calorie goals.
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
    My name is Greg and my weight loss journey began two years ago. I was at my heaviest (332) and things were not good. I couldn't keep up with my kids, I was tired all the time, and my doctor told me that my cholesterol was on the rise! I decided something needed to change. I started walking, and eventually doing some weight training. I am down over 105 pounds! I feel so much better, and I love supporting and encouraging people to do the same. I would be happy to be an accountability partner with you. I still have some weight to lose, so we can work at it together! Getting your nutrition under control is a big key to losing weight. I can share what has worked for me if you are interested. If you work hard, I know you can reach your goal! So what do ya say? Are you in?
  • 1soullessginger
    1soullessginger Posts: 2
    You can do it :)
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    I love that you wrote this with the intention of reading it a year from now. I'm also very glad to see you're 23 years old and doing something about it NOW and not waiting 20 years until you realize you have to do something about it. Kudos to you for recognizing what you need to do to make a better life for yourself and for calling yourself out. :)
  • chereedoggett
    chereedoggett Posts: 57 Member
    That is so true about the end date. I have a long term goal of 75 pounds that I am going to loose. I told my co-worker yesterday that I don't know how long or by when I would do it but it is going to be done. But for right now I am trying to get through this week.
  • chereedoggett
    chereedoggett Posts: 57 Member
    Well yes you are right it is a big deal. It's a big deal for me as well. People of an average weight don't realize just how hard it is. The sacrifices we have to make, the mental place that we are at, And the lifestyle changes we have to make also. I know that I am fat as well and I also know where she is coming from and feel her pain.

Categories