Where has my motivation gone?

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bakemyday
bakemyday Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
When I look in the mirror, I am not happy with what I see! I have been training with a PT for 14 weeks now and not one person has mentioned that I look good, not even my husband (who is totally amazing btw). I thought I was looking better but it is really disheartening when no one has independently made a comment about all the hard work I have been doing.

I work out religiously 5 mornings a week including the session with my trainer and I try to push myself beyond what my mind thinks I'm capable of but then I struggle with the emotional effects of not seeing any changes.

My diet is fairly good, I suffer from ceoliacs disease so that eliminates a lot from my diet but I work around it. I am also a chef and am constantly surrounded by food. I try to eat 5 small meals a day but I often feel like binge eating and when this happens I am consumed by guilt. Can anyone offer any advice on how to just say NO to food that we don't need, and how the hell did I curb those pesky sweet cravings?

I'm sure I'm not the only person that feels like this but I would love to hear what helps to motivate you so that I might find my motivation and keep perusing my fitness goals.

Replies

  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
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    Just tell them, I'm sure they would be happy for you. It's hard for them to realize that you changed because they see you everyday. I don't rely on motivation anymore because it never lasts for me, just pure do it today as a job that I need to do.
  • soozey1
    soozey1 Posts: 102 Member
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    I too suffer not only the fitness blues but sometimes the motivation ones.
    I am also gluten intolerant so my diet is pretty good, I also am fructose intolerant so fruit and sugar is out.
    I have a pt twice a week and I am sure I am stronger that what I have ever been, but my results are being sabotaged by stress at the moment, just work related.
    I am really trying hard to find my inner strength to get me through. I have the tools to be great. A little encouragement from others would also be nice.
    Wow Soozey you butt is looking fantastic after leg day. Lol. We are not asking for much.
    So I will dish out some for you.
    You are stronger than you think, your mindset will pull you through the toughest of times. You are awesome, now keep up the good work. Thanks for the post. We are indeed perfectly strange and normal.
  • carolinelock750
    carolinelock750 Posts: 13 Member
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    Great advice about not relying on motivation and doing one day at a time, I also have been struggling due to stress ( work and menopause). So thank you I will concentrate on it one day at a time.
  • cydulrich
    cydulrich Posts: 12 Member
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    I understand the OP's frustration. I have never been overweight, but at age 50 began adding about 10 extra pounds. I have lost those 10 in the last 8 weeks and not one person has said a thing. I try to notice when people around me are working to improve themselves, in any way. I think it is nice and supportive to make a compliment to them. And more importantly, I admire their hard work and determination. I do think if you have never been seriously overweight, then people tend not to notice if you lose a few pounds and tone up. The bottom line, if you lose 100 pounds or 10 pounds, you want people to give you some positive feedback. IA that it all comes from you, but someone noticing can make you even more motivated. And let's face it, we do not want to look good just for ourselves. We want to look good to other people too. My goal has always been to be fit enough to reach into the closet and pull out anything at all, and not wonder if it makes me look "large" or like I am squeezed into it or it feels tight and uncomfortable. I was tired of spending a couple hours tearing everything out of the closet to find something that fit "right". I think that you could put an out of shape couch potato into a $1000. outfit and it would not make make them look good, but a person who works to take care of themselves can put on a cheap t-shirt and jeans and look great.
  • georgiaTRIs
    georgiaTRIs Posts: 231 Member
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    talk to your trainer. Their assessments every 6 weeks will let you know where you are at. Inches come off and clothes sizes drop. Let your husband know how much you have dropped and how many inches have melted away. My husband did not say anything for a while because he did not know how to say something with out hurting my feelings that he thought I was over weight to start with. Brag up your accomplishments!!!!!!!!!
  • parkparksarah
    parkparksarah Posts: 59
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    I feel you too.. All those effort and no one appreciates you .. It's really heart breaking :(
  • Rianne90
    Rianne90 Posts: 229 Member
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    I agree with the above posters, people might be unsure how to tell you you look great without making it sound like they thought you didn't look good before (which they very probably didn't because you're gorgeous!) or they see you every day or every couple of days and the change just goed unnoticed. It's time to brag I'd say or at least know for yourself how much you've accomplished (either through measurements or fitness level).

    Motivation ends eventually, but by then it should have become a habit (which is even better!) that you don't even think about much :)
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    Motivation is fleeting. You can't rely on it. What others have said about just doing it is spot on. Build healthy habits and rely on them.

    As far as people not noticing - well sometimes it's hard for people to comment on things to do with your body. Saying you lost weight, implies you needed to (awkward for some). People (even family) can sometimes have their own issues that keep them silent, too.

    How do you feel about things? The internal dialogue you have about how healthy you are getting is a good place to start. It's nice to get compliments, but those are as fleeting as the motivation.

    Be proud of all your hard work. Pat yourself on the back. Carry yourself like a winner - because you are. Smile a lot. People will notice. :flowerforyou:
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
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    When I look in the mirror, I am not happy with what I see! I have been training with a PT for 14 weeks now and not one person has mentioned that I look good, not even my husband (who is totally amazing btw). I thought I was looking better but it is really disheartening when no one has independently made a comment about all the hard work I have been doing.

    I work out religiously 5 mornings a week including the session with my trainer and I try to push myself beyond what my mind thinks I'm capable of but then I struggle with the emotional effects of not seeing any changes.

    My diet is fairly good, I suffer from ceoliacs disease so that eliminates a lot from my diet but I work around it. I am also a chef and am constantly surrounded by food. I try to eat 5 small meals a day but I often feel like binge eating and when this happens I am consumed by guilt. Can anyone offer any advice on how to just say NO to food that we don't need, and how the hell did I curb those pesky sweet cravings?

    I'm sure I'm not the only person that feels like this but I would love to hear what helps to motivate you so that I might find my motivation and keep perusing my fitness goals.

    I found it, and bolded it for you.

    It's not about trying to find a reason every day to keep yourself on track. It's about figuring out what you want, and deciding that no matter how you feel, you're going to get it. Forget motivation...get determination. If that first sentence is what you really want, then screw what others see or comment on. Find validation in knowing that you're working on yourself, for yourself.

    You said that you're a chef. Is every day on the job magical, and happy, and fun? Probably not. Do you get to just throw the towel and leave on those days, or do you have to keep working? I'm guessing you have to keep working. Why? Probably because you need/want that money. It's what keeps us all on the job. Treat your health and fitness goals like that. It doesn't matter if you feel motivated or not...you have to go put in the work, because for you, it's a physical necessity.

    If I don't look at it that way....I'll never get it done. Good luck.
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
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    As far as people not noticing - well sometimes it's hard for people to comment on things to do with your body. Saying you lost weight, implies you needed to (awkward for some). People (even family) can sometimes have their own issues that keep them silent, too.

    I struggle with this a lot. I notice people improving, but I worry if I say something it will sound come off judgy or hurtful, which is the last thing in the world I want to do. However, if someone mentions it (brags a bit even), then I feel like it's okay to say something.
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
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    Others have already said exactly what I was thinking, look in the mirror.

    I always fall back on a question I ask myself when I’m starting to feel down; Why am I doing this, is it for someone else or am I doing it for me?
    Due to living through some of the hardest and most difficult times of my life I came up with this realization, it was kinda one of those “Ahh Haaa” moments.
    I deserve to be happy.

    That’s it, nothing complicated, I deserve to be happy just like anyone else. With me that happiness has to start with my physical self, that is my motivation.


    ps. I have a real soft spot for long dark hair and I think you look great!
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    Some great advice in here OP. You have to learn to be your own motivation, your own coach, and your own greatest cheerleader.
  • brirandle1
    brirandle1 Posts: 22 Member
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    Its funny was thinking about this very subject this morning. I have lost 16 lbs so far since starting with MFP in late May. I workout about 4-5 times a week elliptical and some weight lifting. Since doing this I feel great but mentioned to my wife that few people have commented on my weight loss. I gained a pound when I stepped on the scale this morning for my weekly weight checks and was disheartened. I feel better than I have for a long time and my wife said just dont weigh yourself its not important. I want to weigh myself to follow my progress. After reading your posts on here it was the medicine I needed for my "pick me up." This site is so awesome and the people that give advice on here are very inspirational. Sorry for my rant just felt really good reading these posts and to know I'am not alone on this journey. Thank you and lets all keep doing what were doing to make us know that we are all winners for trying to improve our health :)
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
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    User deactivated account...
    One has to wonder.

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