What do you do when people dismiss your success?

I just keep going and doing what needs to be done no matter what others think. At the end of the day, the only person who will look after me is me and I am responsible for my own happiness.

Yeah, I agree with this. 99% of the time, I do what I want because I want to and stop caring what people think, but there’s always a random off day where some support is nice.

Your mom should support you.You arent the competition. That's not right. Let her know exactly how u feel
Tell her everything. But nicely. Don't loose your cool. GD luck

Thanks.

I just take care of myself and ignore what others have to say about it. I have to say, my friends, family, and colleagues have been very supportive. I lost 24% of my original body weight. How could anyone argue with that? Just keep on doing what you are doing to be successful.

24% is awesome! Nice work.

That was my mom, except she had different ways of not noticing. I kept my mouth shut because the writing was on the wall as far as her and size-related health concerns went. When she joined the list of diabetics in our family the first time around she couldn't stop babbling about how fast the weight came off, probably because she actually had to watch everything. Someone made the mistake of telling her that her diabetes was in remission so now she's taking a "weight loss pill" called metformin and back to drinking sugared pop and the whole nine yards. I'll continue to keep my trap shut and let the doctor pipe up.

Ahh, I hope she stays alright though. I’m torn between helping my mum so she avoids health problems and letting her deal with them on her own. Kind of feels like I’m the mother sometimes.

I don't talk about it in the first place.

Neither do I, or at least, not intentionally. I go home every few weeks, and she makes comments on how I look whenever she sees me. Aside from my parents, who’ve asked about it, I’ve pretty much kept what I’m doing to myself.

Cudleigh,
The world is FULL OF PEOPLE LIKE THIS---EVERYWHERE. Most people only care about what they want to say... They want to be listened to. Usually, they could care less about what anyone says, as long as they get to talk and talk repeatedly about themselves. People are so selfish, unconcerned, uncaring, and DON'T want to hear anything you say. It takes time away from them running their mouth. All these inconsiderate people don't want to even change. Their whole world revolves ONLY around them....no one else. They want to say all kinds of opinions to you and they usually don't know a dang thing. How can someone like that even learn things when they are already convinced they know everything right . It's hard to get away from these type of people too. I know you don't want to just drop having anything to do with your mother. This makes it even more difficult with how she acts. Maybe you could try to start limiting your time around her and make it a point to not just go along with what she says. You have the right to speak up and use that right. If you're around her at her place, try being assertive, speaking what you feel as long as you have a chance to talk, and if she just starts going on and on about her, just walk away and get the hell out of there. Maybe if she goes through this enough, she might pick a tiny bit on the fact that you are not just going to sit there and only listen to her spouting off.. This is very unproductive and a horrible habit she has and you don't have to tolerate this, even if you are her daughter.

I know that you’re right. I’m used to people like this, as you’ve said, they’re everywhere. It’s just hard to admit my mother’s one of them, you know? But I’ll try as you’ve suggested, maybe someday she’ll get the hint.

Ignore it and work out harder. Do it for you, and not for the compliments of others.

That’s the plan! Sometimes I just get distracted from it. >.>

Stop giving a *kitten*. That always works.

Heh, if it were any other person, I wouldn’t care in the slightest. Kind of hard (for me, at least) to stop caring completely about what my mother thinks of me.

You don't need others to validate your success. You know what you have achieved and that satisfaction and pride can be the reward. Validate yourself.

It is, and I do validate myself! I’m very happy with myself right now. I guess, it’s not so much the success at it is what I had to do to achieve that. She makes it seem like I didn’t have to try at all, which is irritating.

I don't talk about it in the first place.

I learned this lesson the hard way a couple of years ago with some friends and family. Now, I just do it for me. After all, I'm the one I have to answer to, so I should be the one who gets to pat me on the back. It sucks, but people are people.

Yeah, that’s where I’m heading. People are silly things.

First, congratulations to you for being dedicated. Massive. Second, you're right -- mums should be more supportive; however, this isn't always the case. Not that you've a bad mum, but she doesn't seem to understand her role. In these case, it may be best to continue supporting her and use the support of others -- if you need it -- for yourself.

If she ever notices her area of opportunity, then brilliant. If not, then at least you supported her and good for you!

Thanks! That’s why I’m trying to do. I don’t want to stop supporting her just because she doesn’t support me; that seems petty. Some days it’s harder than others.

Like others have said, I have learned that it's best to make yourself stop caring so much what others think. In 2009, I lost 40 pounds in 6 months, and my brother (who has NEVER had a weight problem and no understanding of how hard it is to lose weight once you've put it on) made some comment about how maybe if I had been more able to control my cravings, I would have done much better at losing weight than I did. So 40 pounds lost is a failure.

And last year, I lost about 25 pounds before my high school reunion, and the day of, he made a comment that he doesn't think I should go to the reunion, because I had always said I wanted to lose the weight, etc. and he thinks I would just be too self-conscious and not have a good time. The thing is, I wasn't feeling self-conscious...until he said that. I was proud of the weight I had lost, and even though I didn't have my ideal figure, I looked much better than I had months earlier. I had more than 25 pounds to lose for sure, but him saying that was just completely nullifying the weight that I had lost. I was so upset that I ended up missing the reunion.

But since then, I've just developed a thicker skin and don't give a crap what others say, about weight loss or anything else. If it's something they have no knowledge or understanding of, their opinion simply doesn't matter. 15 pounds in 2 months is AWESOME - it doesn't matter if your mom doesn't acknowledge it. Maybe try to get your support from other sources rather than someone you know is not going to understand. I think family means well, but sometimes they can't fulfill all of our emotional needs. And that's okay, because there are plenty of people in the world who can.

Ahh, I’m sorry your brother made you feel that way. You should be proud of the weight you lost! I think that’s fantastic. In general, I have a pretty thick skin. Most things don’t really get to me. But after hearing the same thing so many times, it starts to bug me. I tend to be a perfectionist, so having someone point out that I’m not trying hard enough/pointing out my flaws gets to me. But then that’s my own problem. I’ve found that the people on MFP are way more supportive than any of my family/friends. I try to talk to them more and other people less, but it’s still weird at the same time, because I still have the idea stuck in my head that family is supposed to be supportive.