Anyone's significant other change after weight loss?

missy5290
missy5290 Posts: 68 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anyone else's significant other act different after your weight loss?

My fiance has been acting jealous and feeling a little insecure since my weight loss. When we met 5 yrs ago, I was the heavy one and he was the one with the 6 pack. Now hes almost 100 lbs heavier and I'm about 45lbs lighter. He will make comments about me leaving him and the way I dress now. I can't wear yoga pants without him commenting on the way I dress. This weekend I wore a crop top for the first time and I felt great about myself, but he kept asking questions about what I would do if I got hit on. I reassured him that he looked great, I loved him, and I wouldn't be marrying him next mth If I didn't. I try to include him in my workouts, but he'd rather play playstation and I cook healthy foods for both of us, but he gets annoyed when I weight everything. I know he will change his habits when he is ready, but the comments are a tad bit annoying.

Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Divorce.
  • no_russian
    no_russian Posts: 893 Member
    My girlfriend at the time started feeling insecure about herself and suspicious of other women. She'd also get upset when she would order a burger while I ordered a salad. Oh well.
  • DanNight
    DanNight Posts: 74 Member
    We've done this together....she's lost 85...I've lost 40+.

    The support systems needs to be there...otherwise, you'll get nowhere.

    Sorry to hear about this crappy situation.
  • JeffInJax
    JeffInJax Posts: 232 Member
    My weight loss actually caused a big problem in my last relationship as she became increasingly insecure and jealous about every little thing that was never an issue before. Something as simple as being polite and holding the door open for everyone, if it happened to be a woman within 20 years my age I would incur jealous wrath even though i did it for everyone including her. like DD said, definitely need to meet the challenge together or at least be supportive of the others goals. In weight loss or anything else support from your significant other is always vital.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    My husband has seen me thin, fat, pregnant, sick, healthy, sexy, slobbish....he has accepted me through all of it. If anything I would say he's loving my new body and is really proud of me. I know he's looking more critically at himself so odds are he will start working on his weight soon. I support whatever he decides. Other than his health I'm not concerned in the least how he looks.

    As for your fiance, now's the time to be open and honest with him. Just tell him that some of the things he says to you make you feel bad about your accomplishments, continue to reassure him that he's the only man for you and then follow that up by showing him! :wink:

    In fact, maybe all the work you've been doing getting ready for the wedding and the effort to lose weight he's feeling detached and neglected. Try smothering him a little, hold his hand when you sit on the couch, give him lots of attention if that's what he needs right now.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
    My husband has seen me thin, fat, pregnant, sick, healthy, sexy, slobbish....he has accepted me through all of it. If anything I would say he's loving my new body and is really proud of me. I know he's looking more critically at himself so odds are he will start working on his weight soon. I support whatever he decides. Other than his health I'm not concerned in the least how he looks.

    As for your fiance, now's the time to be open and honest with him. Just tell him that some of the things he says to you make you feel bad about your accomplishments, continue to reassure him that he's the only man for you and then follow that up by showing him! :wink:

    In fact, maybe all the work you've been doing getting ready for the wedding and the effort to lose weight he's feeling detached and neglected. Try smothering him a little, hold his hand when you sit on the couch, give him lots of attention if that's what he needs right now.

    I like how you provided a solution, and helped her see his POV and helped her show her fiance her POV.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    I've been with to my husband for 27 years (since I was 16), married for 22 so if there's one thing I know it's how to successfully navigate a relationship. We've been through it all and through a lot of hard work we are the happiest we've ever been.
  • missy5290
    missy5290 Posts: 68 Member
    My husband has seen me thin, fat, pregnant, sick, healthy, sexy, slobbish....he has accepted me through all of it. If anything I would say he's loving my new body and is really proud of me. I know he's looking more critically at himself so odds are he will start working on his weight soon. I support whatever he decides. Other than his health I'm not concerned in the least how he looks.

    As for your fiance, now's the time to be open and honest with him. Just tell him that some of the things he says to you make you feel bad about your accomplishments, continue to reassure him that he's the only man for you and then follow that up by showing him! :wink:

    In fact, maybe all the work you've been doing getting ready for the wedding and the effort to lose weight he's feeling detached and neglected. Try smothering him a little, hold his hand when you sit on the couch, give him lots of attention if that's what he needs right now.

    Thank you. He travels for work and I'm in grad school so we planned a date night for this weekend. With our busy schedules and my love for running, he may feel neglected and I never thought about that. This is something I will definitely bring up. I try to make sure we spend as much time as possible when hes in town, but I'll smother him a little bit more. =)
  • deltoro23
    deltoro23 Posts: 191 Member
    At first I think my girlfriend, was a lil critical, she would think I was judging her, when I would get something super healthy, and wanted salads all the time, she said she felt guilty, but I tried telling her, I was doing it for me, and for us, so I could be healthier, for our future, and she really responded, actually started taking the gym more seriously.. and know we work out, and do everything together.
  • jennybinney1987
    jennybinney1987 Posts: 130 Member
    im just starting over on my WL but last time I was on it I lost 50 pounds. hubby loved it. he loved the sexier clothes I was buying. the energy I had, everything about my WL. he didn't act jealous, controlling, or anything. he has been there for me everyday for 10 years and that was something I really needed support with so he supported me.
    now I have to start over and he is doin it with me. we are gonna become healthy together
  • day1appraisal
    day1appraisal Posts: 16 Member
    When I lost 100+ lbs. my husband got lots more attentive and acted jealous. Now that I spent the better part of 2 years flat on my back recuperating from two accidents (one right after the other), I have lost muscle tone and of course muscle and gained back about 50 lbs. He is being a bear about telling me what I should and shouldn't do... Good way to get a negative response from me - but not one that would hurt me.
  • elissabrost
    elissabrost Posts: 2 Member
    Just keep focusing on your health and hopefully he will also do the same!
  • Phildog47
    Phildog47 Posts: 255 Member
    DO NOT MARRY HIM! If there is no trust... there is no relationship. Maybe after the attitude adjustment.
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
    if your other half starts making you feel bad about doing something good for yourself/something that makes you happy, it's time to reconsider. <---- I learned the hard way.
  • ncrugbyprop
    ncrugbyprop Posts: 96 Member
    There's a good chance its his own insecurities about his weight gain that are being magnified by your weight loss. The male ego is a pain sometimes when the guy we used to be isn't who we are now.

    Then again, he could be a total jerk....
  • missy5290
    missy5290 Posts: 68 Member
    There's a good chance its his own insecurities about his weight gain that are being magnified by your weight loss. The male ego is a pain sometimes when the guy we used to be isn't who we are now.

    Then again, he could be a total jerk....

    He has a few insecurities. He's been passed over at work for direct positions and the group that he leads arent doing what he's telling them to do so it this has been eating at him. I just wish he has more confidence and was more assertive.

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