Restarting again!

shakybabe
shakybabe Posts: 1,578 Member
Hi

You may remember me I was here a while back got from 12st 7 down to 9st 3. ..well I'm back to square one..have put on 15kg after getting down to 60kg (9st 6) I'm back up to 75kg (11st 11). Due to stress and caring for my elderly dog who has neurological condition and is going blind and senile. I don't think she has long left..had to plan for and pay for her cremation which has sent me into depression just the thought of losing my loyal companion and assistance dog of 13years! :sad:

My brother also divorced which made things hard as his wife & her family often helped me out with stuff (as I'm disabled) haven't seen any of inlaws since last xmas day (they split shortly after last xmas) so also lost my support network and half my family overnight too.

Inca (my dog) wanders around in early hours of morning having to let her out and with a young dog also who I've also been trying to get trained up to take over from her as my assistance dog I've just been constantly exhausted and living on whatevers quickest to cook and eat or snacking all day if no energy to cook or go to shop to get more salad etc. ..so I've put 15kg back on! :blushing:

I'm trying to get back to it... half of problem is sugar cravings and no energy so ordering some capsiplex (gave me loads of energy last time) and appetite suppressant to help me stick to less food and energy to exercise every morning again. I also think the fibroids may have grown back after I finished the other bottle of stuff that shrank them not realising had to stay on them to keep them shrunk (at £90 a bottle per month it's out of my budget)

I need to lose the excess before anything happens to my elderly dog cos I know as soon as she passes the depression will be even worse and might regain more weight..so don't want another another 15kg on top of my current weight! Hoping if I can get back into it, it won't be as hard to keep going through grieving process.

Have only got some slimfast left in my cupboard for now so have to start on that and writing my weight on the fridge and cupboards to put me off going in when I get hungry..lo!

Hoping to get back down to 60kg. Wish me luck!!!

Replies

  • gvrbabygirl
    gvrbabygirl Posts: 12 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear about your dog! Caring for an elderly pet is heartbreaking and extremely difficult. Add all those other stress causing factors on top and YIKES!!!

    I hope you are able to quickly train your new companion, but I know there will never truly be any way to replace the friend you've grown so close to.

    I'm here to offer any encouragement I can. Pills help get the will power going for sure, but I have faith that you can do this on your own. Cooking in advance and portioning off items helps A LOT when all you have time for is heating things up. I get into that same rut.

    My favorite time saving trick, some lean cuisine or other 200 calorie frozen dinner with additional frozen veggies. If you buy the steamer bags you can pop it all in the microwave and have a reasonably filling, healthy meal.

    Good luck!
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
    I am a dog lover myself. I had to put down my 14 year old lab a couple of years ago, and now have another almost 1 year old lab with me now. She keeps me real busy, trying to get her the exercise she needs, so I do a lot of hiking, playing and walking with her.

    I know what you're going thru. Wishing you good luck.
  • abrisby
    abrisby Posts: 1
    I'm starting all over again as well. Nothing sucks more than gaining all the weight you lost back :'( good luck to you!
  • shortylynn264
    shortylynn264 Posts: 13 Member
    Don't feel bad I am in the same boat. Although I came back before I went over over the edge. I can offer this advice, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get going. Try putting your health and self worth first. I know that sounds selfish but without your health you can't be useful to anyone. So what what I did was instead of worring about everyone and their problems I had to concentrate on Linda, or else Linda was going to have to have someone taking care of her from a stroke, or heart attack. Good luck, it's doeable so go for it and welcome back.
  • The one thing that helped me was to not think about this being the start again, but just a continuation of your life long journey. There is no end so there can't be more than one beginning.

    When I think about 'starting again' it brings up feelings if dread and uncertainty. I think about how far I've got to go and how much I screwed up and let myself down. All negative feelings that really don't help get in the right frame of mind to lose weight.

    When I think about it being just another part of the journey that I chose to start 5 years ago I am much kinder on myself. I think about all the other things in my life I have done in the last 5 years and feel proud. This helps me feel determined to do this leg of my journey, to get back down to my ideal weight. Thinking in this manner helps me see that even if I did put some, all or more weight back on again it needed be the end of my journey. I can just turn the corner and do it again.

    Take care and don't be hard on yourself.
  • shortylynn264
    shortylynn264 Posts: 13 Member
    I can also relate with losing a dog. I have lost 2 in the last year. My first one Joshusa ran out of the house and ran across the street to our neighbors house to see his friend a black lab. We tried to holla for him to get back here but it was to late he ran right behind the tires of a truck, he was only 7 months old. When he died I cried for 3 days. So I decided to get another puppy. His mother had some more pups and my sister-in law said I could have one of those and I got little him and we named him Pac. Well I got off work at 6am and I sat outside with my husband for a while and decided to go to bed. Normally I have Kenny to let him in so he can sleep with me for a while, well I didn't but he was on his leash in the yard tied to the tree. My husband was out there for a while and he came in the house and the next thing I know is some banging on the door saying that a pack of pit bulls had just mauled our dog to death, I was devastated. The guy across the street followed the dogs to where they lived and my husband and I went to the guy's house and he came around and seen the mess that his dogs had left, then he say's I am so sorry and I will compensate you for your loss. Pac was only 6 months old. Well I tell you I was angry at this fella for not having his dogs somewhere where thay cannot get out to do harm to kid's or animals. What if that had been a kid? Well never the less my sister had a 11 week old lab/mixed with pit and she could no longer keep him because her grandkids did not want him anymore so I decided to take him. I have him in the back yard fenced in so I feel pretty safe with this one. But I know the devastation losing a pet can be. So I know how you feel and you had your fella for years. Good luck with your new one.
  • svelt123
    svelt123 Posts: 173 Member
    :flowerforyou: You have the support of MFP members. Many people here can help you cope with stress eating and depression.
    I am sorry that you are going through a time. Life can get us down sometimes. You are on the right path of getting back into control. Never quit. You can do it!
  • shakybabe
    shakybabe Posts: 1,578 Member
    Thanks guys. I have mobility problems too so although I walk my young dog around 5 mile a day I have to use a mobility scooter to cover that distance with him so unfortunately I don't burn any calories covering their walks!

    I do have a passive trainer bike (motorised pedals) that help me pedal as due to Ataxia I don't have the fluent pedalling motion to pedal myself constantly. However I can burn 500 cals doing that 45 mins.

    I can do a little wii fit but its mainly yoga and sedate stretching to help my muscles and back and stop them seizing up. I do better in summer, as once temps drop to freezing in winter its a struggle to exercise as I can pull a muscle just trying to get dressed or undressed (even with the dog helping!). I can do a few weight lifting exercises with dumbells from sitting and do the balance exercises on the wii (some sitting on the board and some standing holding onto a walking frame around the board).

    So the passive trainer is my only method of burning quite a substantial amount of cals in one go. I've done 45 mins this morning and planning to do another 45 mins later so that should be around 1,000 cals.

    However when I did my diary it started me on 1,200 cals...I added my 45 mins exercise and its put it up to 1,700, if I do more later it's gonna go up again to over 2,000??? I was thinking of reducing to around 1,000-1,200 cals to kickstart the weight loss?

    My food shop arrives today so will have plenty of salad, fruit, fish and quorn instead of meat (cos lower calories). So a burger made from quorn in a pitta bread is much less cals than a beef burger in a breadbun etc, (and can fit more salad in the pitta bread!) :wink:

    I do try to eat healthy but the monthly cravings get me. I get severe sweet cravings just before that TOTM! They haven't been helped with the stress with them sometimes skipping a month or having 2 in a month for a few months in a row so the sweet cravings were almost constant!.. so I'm trying to battle with those too! :noway:

    so I'm hoping to get weight down before winter starts here (I'm in UK).
  • inthekitch
    inthekitch Posts: 26
    gaining the weight back (and then some) is always hard to accept - i was 106 in the fall of 2012, 120 in the fall of 2013, 130 in march of 2014 and have now gone up to 150 as of july.. working shift work doesn't help my case but i'm hoping to turn things around!

    good luck!