Hilarious family members

Mikkimeow · July 2014

I have a hispanic grandmother that raised me, and she and I are best friends. While she has been in America for a few decades now, the culture still confuses her at times. One of these times led to a very hilarious dinner event. Once we were at a restaurant celebrating a birthday, and my abuelita(grandma), (who speaks shaky english at best) really wanted to order on her own. Usually I order for her, but this time she said she could do it. Well, we are done looking at the menu, and the waitress comes up. She asks my abuelita what she wants, and my abuelita replies in the most matter of fact voice, "I will take a quicky."

The waitress was speechless for a second until I leaned over and whispered, "She wants a quiche, just go along with it."
The poor, incredibly confused woman straightens up and says, "One quicky for you, coming right up!" much to the astonishment of the people at the table sitting next to us. Once I told my abuelita what she said, we laughed and laughed. We apologized to the waitress and gave her a larger than usual tip, and laughed our way back to her house.
We still call that the day my abuelita tried to get a quicky at a restaurant.

Now that I have shared mine, what kind of hilarious/embarrassing/ridiculous things have your family members done in public?

*Edited because I can't spell apparently

jackpotclown · July 2014

I have a hispanic grandmother that raised me, and she and I are best friends. While she has been in America for a few decades now, the culture still confuses her at times. One of these times led to a very hilarious dinner event. Once we were at a restaurant celebrating a birthday, and my abuelita(grandma), (who speaks shaky english at best) really wanted to order on her own. Usually I order for her, but this time she said she could do it. Well, we are done looking at the menu, and the waitress comes up. She asks my abuelita what she wants, and my abuelita replies in the most matter of fact voice, "I will take a quicky."

The waitress was speechless for a second until I leaned over and whispered, "She wants a quiche, just go along with it."
The poor, incredibly confused woman straightens up and says, "One quicky for you, coming right up!" much to the astonishment of the people at the table sitting next to us. Once I told my abuelita what she said, we laughed and laughed. We apologized to the waitress and gave her a larger than usual tip, and laughed our way back to her house.
We still call that the day my abuelita tried to get a quicky at a restaurant.

Now that I have shared mine, what kind of hilarious/embarrassing/ridiculous things have your family members done in public?

*Edited because I can't spell apparently

there's absolutely nothing with wanting a quicky.....and you spelled apparently just fine

\m/

TKhamvongsa · July 2014

This makes me miss my grandma.

We were shopping for an eye cleaner for my grandma - I left her in the aisle by herself while she's shouting if these eye cleaners will make her eyes drop out of her head. Without listening, I answered yes!!!! So she panicked and dropped the product on the floor and asked why would a drug store sell a product like that? I had to go over and reassure her it wouldn't lol.

Another story, we were heading to McDonalds for dinner and I asked her what she wanted and she replied, "Big McChicken" - So I assumed she wanted the McChicken sandwich. She was not pleased with her McChicken, she wanted the Big Mac.

Foreign Grand parents are the best.

AsaThorsWoman · July 2014

Daw... Sweet little grandmas.

LoneWolf_70 · July 2014

my dad was from eastern europe. came here in 1950, joined air force (army air corp then) and was stationed in Fort Knox. He saw a sign for "colored water" thought it would be blue or red something tasty, started drinking it and a Sarge flipped out on him and gave him some kind of ish duty.

Also, on first day in US, went to bar, didnt speak much english, saw Root Beer, ordered it, drank it and said "if this is American Beer Im going back"

ELMunque · July 2014

Back when I only had 2 small children we were headed to a restaraunt, my youngest was about 4ish at the time. Well the kids said something about old people, I don't remember what it was but it wasn't very nice. So I told her that you have to be nice and respectful to elderly people and after multiple "why's?" I told her that old people eat rude children. So if she didn't want to get eaten she better be nice.

When we got to the restaruant there was an older couple sitting behind us and a very large man was walking down the isle. My little one stands up in her seat and says, "mommy that man is really ffaaaa" she didn't get out the "t" before I slapped my hand over her mouth to quiet her. I told that that wasn't nice and just then the old couple behind us turned around and said, "you better mind your momma or we'll have to take you home with us" She immediately started bawling. Funniest thing ever.

teresamwhite · July 2014

My DD is 11 and is a force to be reckoned with...I periodically post short Conversations With DD on my Facebook...

Let me set the scene...DS is interested in getting a job at a local grocery store for the summer. He is getting ready to head down there and DD calls me at work.

DD: Mama, did you know Brother is going to get a job?
Me: Yes, i did. it's fine.
DD: i'm making sure he looks presentable. Hair combed, teeth brushed, good clothes on, wrinkle free, nice shoes.
Me: <laughing a little> Okay, sounds good. Can you make sure he has his Social Security card?
DD: Already did, and his school ID.
Me: Thank you
DD: Don't worry, i'm going through the job process with him, too.
Me: Wait...what? You're going with him?!?
Teagan: No, I'm coaching him on how to get a job. How to talk, what to say...you know...get a job.
Me: <cracking up, and putting her on speaker> Can you say that again, sweetie?
DD: I SAID I'm going through the job process with Brother, coaching him through the process!

<My coworker starts cracking up, I hang up the phone and laugh my butt off for five minutes>

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

Let me set the scene...I am sitting in the living room, reading, DD is at the dining room table working on her report, and DH is washing dishes. They are talking about something that DS did earlier this afternoon.

DH: DD, you know what happened?
DD: Yeah, I know what happened.
DH: Care to fill me in?
DD: *sigh* You met Mama, and then no condom, and then Brother happened.
DH: (dumbfounded silence) WHAT?!?!?
DD: Just breaking it down for you, Dad.

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

Setting the scene: DH & DD were at a judo tournament on Saturday. He handed her $20 to get breakfast at McDonald's (she went with another girl and her mom). On the drive home, he asks her for the change.
DH: DD, I need the change from the $20 this morning.
DD: That's mine.
DH: No...it's from my $20.
DD: Your $20 is gone. I spent it.
DH: You SPENT it?!?! ALL of it??!?!
DD: No. I didn't spend all of it. But your $20 is gone.
DH *headdesk*: Yes, I know, my $20 is gone, but I want the change. Is there any change?
DD: Yes. A $10, a $5 and a $1.
DH: Can I have it now?
DD: Um, how about I keep the $10?
DH: Um, no...
DD: But your $20 is gone. I spent it. Technically, it IS gone.
DH *headdesk*

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

Mikkimeow · July 2014

My DD is 11 and is a force to be reckoned with...I periodically post short Conversations With DD on my Facebook...

Let me set the scene...DS is interested in getting a job at a local grocery store for the summer. He is getting ready to head down there and DD calls me at work.

DD: Mama, did you know Brother is going to get a job?
Me: Yes, i did. it's fine.
DD: i'm making sure he looks presentable. Hair combed, teeth brushed, good clothes on, wrinkle free, nice shoes.
Me: <laughing a little> Okay, sounds good. Can you make sure he has his Social Security card?
DD: Already did, and his school ID.
Me: Thank you
DD: Don't worry, i'm going through the job process with him, too.
Me: Wait...what? You're going with him?!?
Teagan: No, I'm coaching him on how to get a job. How to talk, what to say...you know...get a job.
Me: <cracking up, and putting her on speaker> Can you say that again, sweetie?
DD: I SAID I'm going through the job process with Brother, coaching him through the process!

<My coworker starts cracking up, I hang up the phone and laugh my butt off for five minutes>

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

Let me set the scene...I am sitting in the living room, reading, DD is at the dining room table working on her report, and DH is washing dishes. They are talking about something that DS did earlier this afternoon.

DH: DD, you know what happened?
DD: Yeah, I know what happened.
DH: Care to fill me in?
DD: *sigh* You met Mama, and then no condom, and then Brother happened.
DH: (dumbfounded silence) WHAT?!?!?
DD: Just breaking it down for you, Dad.

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

Setting the scene: DH & DD were at a judo tournament on Saturday. He handed her $20 to get breakfast at McDonald's (she went with another girl and her mom). On the drive home, he asks her for the change.
DH: DD, I need the change from the $20 this morning.
DD: That's mine.
DH: No...it's from my $20.
DD: Your $20 is gone. I spent it.
DH: You SPENT it?!?! ALL of it??!?!
DD: No. I didn't spend all of it. But your $20 is gone.
DH *headdesk*: Yes, I know, my $20 is gone, but I want the change. Is there any change?
DD: Yes. A $10, a $5 and a $1.
DH: Can I have it now?
DD: Um, how about I keep the $10?
DH: Um, no...
DD: But your $20 is gone. I spent it. Technically, it IS gone.
DH *headdesk*

#shesgonnaruletheworld #justgetoutofherway

That is one incredibly intelligent 11 year old. lol

Gawanne · July 2014

5 year old son (grown up now) "we learnt a song at school today, all about lodgers (boarders)"
Me, mystified. "Can you sing it".
5 year old son singing, "away in a manger no place for a bed, the little lodger laid down his sweet head".

Gawanne · July 2014

True story told by my dad during WW11. Scene, Yorkshire, UK. Old gentleman goes to the outside lavatory or outhouse. Just as he pulls the chain a bomb explodes nearby and down comes the outhouse. Dad and fellow wardens rush to dig him out. He's sitting there somewhat dazed and holding the chain. Looking at them he says "I'm 92 and as strong as an ox!!!".

Hilarious family members

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