Gym-anxiety
jolarocknrolla
Posts: 236 Member
probably the only thing I'm not really looking forward to in the near future is joining a gym again. sadly, I just don't have the equipment* I need at home for a REAL routine and no space to put it even if I could afford to get it (plus I need a place to run in the winter) so I'm going to have to do this.
Here is what gives me gym anxiety:
1) I don't know wtf I'm doing w/ barbells. How do you properly load the plates on? How do they stay on, are there clips? what is the etiquette for unloading/stacking them?
2) trainers - I have never yet met a trainer at one of the local big gyms that knows how to teach lifting form, all they want to do is bodyweight ****, cardio and machines. hey *kitten* I can do that on my own.
3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!"
And weight room = mostly guys
4) I feel so awkward resting between sets. I *need* to rest between sets like 1-2 minutes and it's just awkward as hell when you catch someone giving you that "well you just gonna sit there?" look ... mother****er I need a minute!
I need some sort of fairy-gym-mother. Or a barbells for dumb-*kitten* guide. I need to find some small gym somewhere nearby w/ just the basics I need ... and not like 5000 machines.
*I've been doing all the lifts possible w/ dumbells 15 pounds, 20 pounds and 25 pounds, split-squats etc but at this point I NEED a barbell.
Here is what gives me gym anxiety:
1) I don't know wtf I'm doing w/ barbells. How do you properly load the plates on? How do they stay on, are there clips? what is the etiquette for unloading/stacking them?
2) trainers - I have never yet met a trainer at one of the local big gyms that knows how to teach lifting form, all they want to do is bodyweight ****, cardio and machines. hey *kitten* I can do that on my own.
3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!"
And weight room = mostly guys4) I feel so awkward resting between sets. I *need* to rest between sets like 1-2 minutes and it's just awkward as hell when you catch someone giving you that "well you just gonna sit there?" look ... mother****er I need a minute!
I need some sort of fairy-gym-mother. Or a barbells for dumb-*kitten* guide. I need to find some small gym somewhere nearby w/ just the basics I need ... and not like 5000 machines.
*I've been doing all the lifts possible w/ dumbells 15 pounds, 20 pounds and 25 pounds, split-squats etc but at this point I NEED a barbell.
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Replies
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1. everyone starts somewhere, and theres no "proper" way to load on plates, just do it however its easiest for you. but if you loading them when a bar is on the rack, only do one plate on each end at a time, otherwise the bar may tip due to one side being too heavy
2. i agree, i ignore trainers. you get the odd one who know hows to properly lift heavy, you may get lucky.
3. just ask. the guys wont take it as "she wants the d" just dont ask jack *kitten* with his hat backwards and his dre beats blaring. you can generally tell who knows what theyre doing and who doesnt, and they wont think its rude, most are happy to help
4. everyone has to rest, dont sweat this.
most important, everyone in the gym is just concentrating on their own workout, too many people stress out over stuff like this. just go, you got this0 -
1. everyone starts somewhere, and theres no "proper" way to load on plates, just do it however its easiest for you. but if you loading them when a bar is on the rack, only do one plate on each end at a time, otherwise the bar may tip due to one side being too heavy
2. i agree, i ignore trainers. you get the odd one who know hows to properly lift heavy, you may get lucky.
3. just ask. the guys wont take it as "she wants the d" just dont ask jack *kitten* with his hat backwards and his dre beats blaring. you can generally tell who knows what theyre doing and who doesnt
4. everyone has to rest, dont sweat this.
most important, everyone in the gym is just concentrating on their own workout, too many people stress out over stuff like this. just go, you got this
for #1, how do you put them on so they won't fall off? do they screw on, are there clips?
I'll get over it, I just hate being in there not knowing what I'm doing. My brother only uses the machines, my husband only runs! I really don't have any local friends to help me out, I'm fairly confident in other areas of my life I just hate not knowing basic stuff ...0 -
1. everyone starts somewhere, and theres no "proper" way to load on plates, just do it however its easiest for you. but if you loading them when a bar is on the rack, only do one plate on each end at a time, otherwise the bar may tip due to one side being too heavy
2. i agree, i ignore trainers. you get the odd one who know hows to properly lift heavy, you may get lucky.
3. just ask. the guys wont take it as "she wants the d" just dont ask jack *kitten* with his hat backwards and his dre beats blaring. you can generally tell who knows what theyre doing and who doesnt, and they wont think its rude, most are happy to help
4. everyone has to rest, dont sweat this.
most important, everyone in the gym is just concentrating on their own workout, too many people stress out over stuff like this. just go, you got this
Big T knows his stuff
+10 -
there are clips that you squeeze and slide over each end. i honestly never used them though i probably should1. everyone starts somewhere, and theres no "proper" way to load on plates, just do it however its easiest for you. but if you loading them when a bar is on the rack, only do one plate on each end at a time, otherwise the bar may tip due to one side being too heavy
2. i agree, i ignore trainers. you get the odd one who know hows to properly lift heavy, you may get lucky.
3. just ask. the guys wont take it as "she wants the d" just dont ask jack *kitten* with his hat backwards and his dre beats blaring. you can generally tell who knows what theyre doing and who doesnt
4. everyone has to rest, dont sweat this.
most important, everyone in the gym is just concentrating on their own workout, too many people stress out over stuff like this. just go, you got this
for #1, how do you put them on so they won't fall off? do they screw on, are there clips?
I'll get over it, I just hate being in there not knowing what I'm doing. My brother only uses the machines, my husband only runs! I really don't have any local friends to help me out, I'm fairly confident in other areas of my life I just hate not knowing basic stuff ...
like i said everyone starts somewhere, you'll pick it up quick enough trust me. just dont be afraid to ask if you need help, improper form is the major cause of injury in the gym0 -
Usually the bars have some sort of clip somewhere in the gym. Now weight placement I was told that the flat side of the weight is the outside of the bar when you put it on. When you flip this and use smaller multiple weights they shake when you lift.0
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3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!" And weight room = mostly guys
Ask one of us older married guys after watching a bit. Many of us are happy to help and we're not going to hit on you. That said, just because we talk to or compliment you doesn't mean we're hitting on you. ;-)
Buy one of several recommended books, study form videos, and practice practice practice. And Honestly, just relax and go. Most of the gyms I've gone to are pretty inviting places if you are polite and smile.0 -
Do not be afraid to ask a random person to spot you either. Umm but for me I had a spotter and still tor my pec on the bench and had to lift the weight off my chest with a torn pec because spotter was weak.
So from that point of the strongest person at the gym any day is my spotter.0 -
thanks guys, that does help!0
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3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!" And weight room = mostly guys
Ask one of us older married guys after watching a bit. Many of us are happy to help and we're not going to hit on you. That said, just because we talk to or compliment you doesn't mean we're hitting on you. ;-)
Buy one of several recommended books, study form videos, and practice practice practice. And Honestly, just relax and go. Most of the gyms I've gone to are pretty inviting places if you are polite and smile.
how do you tell who's married? I can't lift w/ my wedding ring on since it pinches my finger when I'm lifting a lot. I assumed most people take off their jewelry to work out ... but no idea since I try NOT to look at other people in the gym
yeah, I might have a skewed perspective because I went on /fit/ when I was starting out ... protip, never ever ever browse /fit/0 -
I don't use barbells but you could peruse youtube for some of the basic stuff, like how to put on/take off the plates and proper form. good luck. and congrats on advancing to barbell! 0
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LMFAO yea as a newbie /fit/ would definitely be too much. it has its uses though if you can sort through all the trolls and people who just talk out their *kitten*
3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!" And weight room = mostly guys
Ask one of us older married guys after watching a bit. Many of us are happy to help and we're not going to hit on you. That said, just because we talk to or compliment you doesn't mean we're hitting on you. ;-)
Buy one of several recommended books, study form videos, and practice practice practice. And Honestly, just relax and go. Most of the gyms I've gone to are pretty inviting places if you are polite and smile.
how do you tell who's married? I can't lift w/ my wedding ring on since it pinches my finger when I'm lifting a lot. I assumed most people take off their jewelry to work out ... but no idea since I try NOT to look at other people in the gym
yeah, I might have a skewed perspective because I went on /fit/ when I was starting out ... protip, never ever ever browse /fit/0 -
Typically, the guys who look the most intimidating and serious about their lifting are also the nicest people in the gym. It doesn't take long to figure out who the "regulars" are there, and those are usually great people to ask if you have questions. They don't want to see new people get hurt and they're usually really enthusiastic about lifting, so they're excited to share information.
Every gym will give you a tour when you first sign up. That's the perfect time to ask any questions you have about the equipment. Again, the people running the gym want you to be knowledgeable about the equipment so you lift safely, so feel free to ask anything.
When you're first starting out, if you're worried about people watching you, ask the gym about their peak times and avoid those times. Usually, right after work is a nightmare. It's definitely worth rearranging your schedule if you get to lift in peace.
Everyone understands resting in between sets, so don't worry about that. However, just be aware of what's going on around you -- if it's a busy time, don't sit there playing on your phone because it will look like you're hogging the equipment. Also, some people use weight benches just for resting in between sets or for places to put their towels/water bottles, which is so rude. Take your time and do your workout, but just be considerate so that you're not interfering with someone else's workout.0 -
3) Asking for help. HOW? You can't just find someone you don't know that looks like they know wtf they are doing and ask because they are in the middle of a workout and it's rude. or if you ask a guy most will think "OMG SHE WANTS THE D!!!" And weight room = mostly guys
Ask one of us older married guys after watching a bit. Many of us are happy to help and we're not going to hit on you. That said, just because we talk to or compliment you doesn't mean we're hitting on you. ;-)
Buy one of several recommended books, study form videos, and practice practice practice. And Honestly, just relax and go. Most of the gyms I've gone to are pretty inviting places if you are polite and smile.
how do you tell who's married? I can't lift w/ my wedding ring on since it pinches my finger when I'm lifting a lot. I assumed most people take off their jewelry to work out ... but no idea since I try NOT to look at other people in the gym
yeah, I might have a skewed perspective because I went on /fit/ when I was starting out ... protip, never ever ever browse /fit/
Well, for me it's easy because my wife is there. After a while, you get a feel for who is doing what and it's easy to avoid the occasional guy looking for a date0 -
I totally know how you feel. I felt the same way and finally just bit the bullet and started lifting. I found once I got the "first time" out of the way, it was less intimidating and every time I went, it got less and less intimidating until I felt like I "belonged" there. The funny thing is, no one knew which time was my first except me, but for some reason I feel like everyone knew. Loading and unloading the bar was also intimidating, but the funny thing is, you just grab the weight, string it through, put the clip on and done. Reverse for unloading. I think we put more pressure on ourselves than necessary, but it is human nature. A good source for lifting is to watch clips on reputable people doing the lifts you plan on doing and practice to make sure your form is correct. I am just recovering from an injury because I got a little ahead of myself and a little cocky and decided to lift more than I should have. I had been feeling really good about my progress and decided to accelerate it faster than I should have and pulled my back because apparently my form went to hell when I put more weight on than I should have and instead of stopping (I'm no quitter) I finished my reps anyway, big mistake. I have been out for 5 weeks now and could really kick myself in the *kitten* (if I could make that move) because now I get to start over. I know that this story probably won't pertain to you, but I had heard this over and over and followed it because I value good advice from smart people who know what they are doing, until that fateful day in June when I decided to not listen. Good luck and happy lifting.0
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Personally, I looked up a program I could live with...then researched the exercise form on Youtube.
Many people suggest: The new weight lifting rules for women, other suggested stronglifts, or icecream (something) fitness (idk). I looked them all up and decided to start with Stronglifts5x5 because I only had to learn like 5 exercises and I thought the book for the New Rules was super complicated and I just wasnt down to learn all that.
Slowly but surely Ilearned how to lift.
I love it.
Stronglifts has an app on my phone. I only have 3 exercises to do a workout. ITs nice for me and what I was looking for. Do some research...find what works for you for a program stick with it and you will be a gym pro in no time.0 -
I was terrified walking in the the weight area for the first time.
Youtube was and is my friend. I chose the program with the fewest number of lifts to remember and just tried it. For stuff like "how do you keep the weights on the bar" I used the preloaded weights at first and then watched the other people for a while.
Very few women do anything with the bar at my gym so I felt self conscious at first. What I discovered is that while people may look at you while they are resting, they truly and honestly do not seem to be judging. Something else I discovered is that I have to concentrate on form and weight so hard while I am lifting that the opinions of others cease to concern me. I'm just trying to get the bar to where it needs to be and that takes all my conscious thought.
And what I do know is that even though I'm still not lifting huge weight like others in this forum do, every time I pick up a little more than last time, I walk out of the weight room feeling a little more strong and basadd. And that trumps any sense of discomfort.0 -
1. Yes, there are collars that keep the plates in place. Personally, I always remove/tidy what I've used.
2. Buy the book 'starting strength' and watch YouTube videos.
3. Just ask, but not while someone is in the middle of a set.
4. You need to rest in between, don't worry everyone else will be doing it too.
I can totally sympathise though - I workout at home now as I have gym-anxiety too. 'Im the woman in the free weights section of the gym' (in the stickies) is a good read if you haven't already.0 -
My gym only has fixed barbells that go up to 60 lbs, so I just use the dumbbells. When I did have a question, I asked one of the more muscular guys after he was done with his set, and he very nice about it. I go to bb.com for form videos when I need them. I do feel kinda dopey just standing/sitting there during my rests, so I started bringing my phone on the floor with me to keep up with my mfp friends during that time.0
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I know it's not an option for everyone but I bought a package of training sessions at a small local gym. It is semi-private training with like three people and I love it--the people I train with are always nice and just focused on their own deal. I belong to a regular gym but the atmosphere at training gym was perfect for a newb like me. Trainer can get my form in line and then moves on to get next person started and comes back…. For me not being "watched" the entire time I'm doing a set is good. It's a great environment and I can ask lots of questions about each piece of weight equip and free weight stuff. Trainer is teaching me to combine weights with squats and stuff to get big bang for my time buck.
The best part is I am taking what I am learning and venturing into the weight area of my 24Fitness and feeling much more confident so I feel like I can transition info from pricy training sessions to affordable gym. I'm a fairly self-conscious person especially when I think I'm doing it wrong and I remind myself no one really cares. It's like when I see a really big person at the gym, the only thing going through my head is good for them, it takes a lot of courage to show up.0 -
2) trainers - I have never yet met a trainer at one of the local big gyms that knows how to teach lifting form, all they want to do is bodyweight ****, cardio and machines. hey *kitten* I can do that on my own.
Interesting you say that while also saying you don`t know what you are doing. many lifts start with body weight to get correct form. When you visit the gym you intend to join ask about the trainers - tell them your goals and find one that works for you - if you do not feel any of them will work for you - look for another gym. Search for private trainer only gyms and see who works there. It takes a little work to find the right trainer - I know many people here are very anti - trainers - but personally I would never have for to the point I am at without one.
If you are stuck with the one gym - write out a list of questions and ask them when you get an orientation0 -
2) trainers - I have never yet met a trainer at one of the local big gyms that knows how to teach lifting form, all they want to do is bodyweight ****, cardio and machines. hey *kitten* I can do that on my own.
Interesting you say that while also saying you don`t know what you are doing. many lifts start with body weight to get correct form. When you visit the gym you intend to join ask about the trainers - tell them your goals and find one that works for you - if you do not feel any of them will work for you - look for another gym. Search for private trainer only gyms and see who works there. It takes a little work to find the right trainer - I know many people here are very anti - trainers - but personally I would never have for to the point I am at without one.
If you are stuck with the one gym - write out a list of questions and ask them when you get an orientation
my personal experience is with a total of 3 trainers. I was quite clear about wanting to learn about how to #1 squat w/ the barbell and #2 get into the weight room in general ... despite my clearly stated goals (and we are talking 10 minutes of talking w/ the first two) had me doing bodyweight stuff, balancing on stuff, using a treadmill. the second one, when I stopped her mid-session to ask when we'd be going into the weight room because of what I actually wanted to learn, she had me do tricep extensions w/ dumbbells (again, I can do that at home AND I know how to do those FFS). I later dawned on me that she probably had no idea how to do barbell squats either. same w/ the other guy trainer. the last one just wound up cancelling on me twice.
Which is why I quit that gym and never went back.
I know well enough how to do what I'm doing now at home, and I do know enough to know what I don't know if that makes sense? I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go in there, suck it up and learn as I go. I read Starting Strength last year but never did the actual program.
in the end, I guess I'm frustrated and anxious but I do know what I have to do and i'll do it. but, apparently, not without grousing about it first 0 -
FYI these trainer experiences were at an XSport Fitness in Chicago so maybe it was just that gym, I've been doing some online research and I found another smaller local gym and their trainers have online profiles showing their qualifications and areas of expertise and that looks a hell of a lot more promising.0
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FYI these trainer experiences were at an XSport Fitness in Chicago so maybe it was just that gym, I've been doing some online research and I found another smaller local gym and their trainers have online profiles showing their qualifications and areas of expertise and that looks a hell of a lot more promising.
Good. Give someone else a shot.
Finding a good trainer is like finding a good hairstylist...
Become a loyal client once you find a good one.0
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