Weight loss jealousy

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scb515
scb515 Posts: 133 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, I hit goal this week! I'm only short, so 147lb is the absolutely upper figure for me to have a healthy BMI.

One of my colleagues keeps telling me I need to gain weight because I'm "disintegrating" and "too thin". I am literally just healthy - gaining even a little weight would put me back in the overweight camp.

Another colleague spent half an hour telling me about people she knows with bulimia.

Both colleagues have been told by their doctors to lose weight, so they're just projecting their issues onto me, but it's disheartening.

Anyone else come across this?
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Replies

  • hill8570
    hill8570 Posts: 1,466 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss! Nice work!

    Yeah, I been told that I look "like I have cancer", my mom-in-law keeps telling me I'm too thin. Crap like that. And I'm still 8 pounds away from getting into the "normal" BMI range. In the US, the vast majority of people are overweight, so someone who isn't sticks out like a sore thumb. It is what it is.
  • zandrathesweetheart
    zandrathesweetheart Posts: 109 Member
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    it sickens me that when you try to do something good with your life, people try to bring you down. You both look incredible and I am soo proud that you both have continued with your weight loss journey. Ignore what people say about you guys being too thin. I know if I was healthy bmi I would look thin as well but I want to lose weight until I find myself attractive.
  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,808 Member
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    Oh yes I have dealt with it lots. Its amazing how many people have opinions or "know" what you should do to lose weight. I have even lost friends because I lost weight and they didnt. Its so petty
  • mysmileighs
    mysmileighs Posts: 103 Member
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    Everyone's always an expert when they're talking to/about someone else. I used to deal with that where I worked before now (40 women in my department.......) :noway:


    Congratulations on reaching your goal!! You did it for you and you know what is best for you! :flowerforyou:
  • LadyArchangel
    LadyArchangel Posts: 124 Member
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    Congrats! It's pretty annoying, I'm nowhere near thin but I do get some people making comments. Usually "oh gosh imagine all the loose skin you'll have how gross! No offense."

    None taken.
    :grumble:
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    Great job on your success!! Yes, unfortunately getting those types of comments (unsolicited) is going to happen. Some people can be very positive, like "wow, you look great!" or, "dang, you are getting skinny!". I usually just say thanks and move on.

    I don't know how to react to the ones that say things like, "girl you might need to eat a cheeseburger!" I wish I had the balls to tell them, "girl, you DON"T need to eat one! You are chunky!" but I would never want to hurt anyone. Somehow they think when they comment it isn't hurting you.

    Just hang in there and be sure to stand up for yourself and let them know you are healthy and doing things the right way!!
  • chrissyrenee1029
    chrissyrenee1029 Posts: 358 Member
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    Congrats! It's pretty annoying, I'm nowhere near thin but I do get some people making comments. Usually "oh gosh imagine all the loose skin you'll have how gross! No offense."

    None taken.
    :grumble:

    Because "no offense" always negates the fact that they were just completely rude. Don't you hate that? Let them say what they want, but you have done awesome and look great and their opinions don't really matter in the long-term anyway :)
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Unfortunately, it's pretty common. When you lose weight, other people have to confront the possibility that they could lose it, too. Many of them will lash out over it.
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
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    I'm not there yet, myself. But coming from a family of heavier people, I'm expecting it. They've forgotten what "normal" looks like.

    My uncle dropped 40 lbs recently. From like 220 to 180 and everyone keeps commenting how thin he is, and how he shouldn't lose any more weight, but gain some.

    It makes me angry for him. He's in a normal BMI range. If anything, for his height, he's on the upper side of "normal" I defend him any chance I get, preparing for my own defense eventually.

    My sister is the worst. She considers everything a competition. And for every few pounds I lose in a healthy way, she'll drop by smoking instead of eating. It's a terrible thing, jealousy.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    When/If this happens to me when I reach goal, if it's co-workers I'm simply going to tell them "If I want your advice, I'll ask for it, thanks."

    Family may worry if I get too thin but I'll handle that differently by telling them, "I'm being careful and I know what I'm doing, but thanks for your concern."
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Oh yes I have dealt with it lots. Its amazing how many people have opinions or "know" what you should do to lose weight. I have even lost friends because I lost weight and they didnt. Its so petty

    If you lost them for that, then I think it's safe to say they weren't really your friends.
  • Archer9304
    Archer9304 Posts: 113 Member
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    Yeah this is very much my whole family. Apparently I have an eating disorder for weighing all my food and am bordering on anorexia with a BMI of 25. Lol :laugh:
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    Ugh, that's so hurtful and misguided "advice" (okay--I'm too nice--it's downright rude).

    I'm preparing myself for the possibility of negative feedback from people. I'm a returning-adult college student, so I'm off for the summer. Starting losing in April (not noticeable at that time), and I'm continuing throughout the summer (lots of time for workouts, no stress, etc.). Those at college only know me as the "pudgy mom" student. I think I will be returning looking like a very different person.

    I just plan on telling any negative peeps that "my doctor and dietician want to see me maintain a weight around 130-135." And that is the simple truth. The opinions and advice of my health care providers are what count.
  • DesDawn24
    DesDawn24 Posts: 147 Member
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    Unfortunately, it's pretty common. When you lose weight, other people have to confront the possibility that they could lose it, too. Many of them will lash out over it.

    This is the perfect way to word it! I have to admit I fell into that camp long before I started my own journey. I will fully admit to thinking not-so-nice things about people I knew who had lost considerable amounts of weight, and would even throw out a snide comment or two. Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize that that was all my own insecurity talking. I couldn't believe that someone I once viewed as grossly overweight was now thinner than I, and therefore I resorted to petty insults and backhanded compliments.

    The most important thing is to remember the reasons why you did it, and revel in the fact that you look fabulous and feel great! Congratulations on reaching your goal!
  • slimbettie
    slimbettie Posts: 686 Member
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    Change makes some people insecure. Just keep on doing what you do. And congrats!!
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    I'd love to get comments about how skinny I was. My response would be:

    Yes, my BMI is finally in the Normal Weight category, and I feel great! Thank you for noticing!

    :blushing: :drinker:
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
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    Congrats on your loss! Go you!

    And yes, I've heard similar and I'm still about 50 lbs away from my goal. I figure they're just insecure themselves and are jealous. You keep it up! You're doing great!
  • VioletNightshade
    VioletNightshade Posts: 197
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    Yup... I've had a friend (thank the forces that be that she recently moved away) who was so jealous that I was losing weight that she used to try to sabotage me. Even went so far as to try to feed me junk food. Once, I was cuddling with our friend's dog and she put a potato chip on my chest and got annoyed when I let the dog (a skinny bones greyhound, he can use the calories haha) eat it instead of doing so myself.

    I think a lot of people feel convicted, so instead of looking at their actions and realising that they need to change, they feel guilty for not doing anything about it and try to make you stop so they don't have to be confronted with their own poor habits.


    On the other hand, if you live in the US, it IS true that "normal" here is overweight, so seeing someone at a healthy (according to the BMI scale) weight would look skinny. There is a small chance that a small portion of these people aren't used to seeing people at healthy weights and to them you might look too skinny.
  • _celesse
    _celesse Posts: 75 Member
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    I used to tell my friend that I wanted to get thin, and she'd say I'd look weird 'cause my head would be really big and I'd have a little body, lol. Truthfully, I don't care. To me, that's better than walking around with a stomach that sticks out more than my boobs, or hobbling around some days because my knees woke up and said "nope." :/ I just keep my weight loss goals to myself now, because I don't really need any more comments.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I've had a few people say I was "wasting away" but I think that people just get surprised when they see us with less weight on our bodies. I am always like, 135 pounds at 5'-2" tall is not wasting away.

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