My name is Brittany.

My name is Brittany. I am eighteen years old. I have been overweight my entire life. When I was young, I was relentlessly tormented for my size, despite my every effort to be as beautiful as the 'perfect' girls, as I always called them. I cannot even begin to describe how many times throughout my life I genuinely felt like I was worthless. I've drowned myself in negativity. I've ruined my own day - sometimes each and every day - when it was going perfectly fine before. I have obsessed about my image to the point that I wouldn't even take photos with my (formerly long distance) boyfriend when he came ten-thousand miles to meet me. Hi, my name is Brittany, and I have a problem.

This post isn't to seek pity. It isn't to attract sympathy, nor is it a sob story. This is my life. At first, I couldn't go a single day without obsessing. Then it turned into hours, and finally into minutes. Now, what used to affect me on a physical level has become psychological. I think about it every second. I have read every article, used 'thinspiration', even starved myself before. Things became so negative. Eventually, that voice in my head that was telling me I'm fat? It warped my thought process into fully-fueled self hatred. No, this post is not being written for pity. This is my promise to myself - publicly - that I am going to make a change. I have to accept myself. To do that, I have to take control of my body and ultimately take control of my life.

I need help. More importantly, I need your help: I crave support that I am not receiving anywhere else. Whoever you are, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Any tips (exercise, diet, etc) on how I can do this in a HEALTHY way are so appreciated. I am ready to meet my standard of a human being. I am ready to stop feeling less because I was born with more. I want to see the beauty that I feel in myself when I talk about something that I love, or when I am creative, or when I give someone a genuine smile. I want to look in the mirror and not hate what I see. I want to live my life. For anyone willing to help me do that? Thank you so much.

P.S: I am looking to lose about 70lbs.

That's about it.

Replies

  • Rivethead
    Rivethead Posts: 9
    Hi, Brittany. It's a great thing you've decided to do, to take control of your life and throw away negativity. With some good old fashioned elbow grease, you're well on your way to a "smaller" future. It's not a matter of if, it is a matter of when. By signing up, you've already made a huge step towards achieving your goal. No good lucks, just have fun because you know you can do it and you already know it is going to happen. Like I said, it's just a matter of when!


    P.S. These 'perfect girls' sound like jealous hagathas because you're beautiful. Just sayin'
  • _m0lly
    _m0lly Posts: 900 Member
    Hi Brittany.

    I'm just starting up here too. I'm twenty years old, but haven't always been over-weight. I kind of got lazy over the past couple of years, and got into bad habits such as skipping breakfast or opting for junk food. I don't really class myself as largely over-weight, but I'd like to feel comfortable in myself again. I'm looking to lose around 22lbs. If you ever need a chat regarding things I do to keep healthy, or share any tips, feel free to add/message me.

    Keep your chin up doll.
  • Hi Brittany = )
    My name is Christina. I am 23, and just starting back up on MFP today. I am also looking to lose about 70-86lbs. I have always been a bigger girl and now that im at the age where having a family is getting closer I want to make sure that Im as healthy as possible for them and for myself. I'm always happy to add new friends, so please don't hesitate to add me if you feel that we might make a good connection!..that goes for everyone!.
  • sarabig2fit
    sarabig2fit Posts: 274 Member
    Hey Brittany! I wish that at 18 I did what you're doing and seeking support. At 18 I weighed about 240, during my few years at college, I got to 375lbs. After having lost a few lbs from moving into an apartment where stairs were unavoidable, I lost about 35lbs. I signed up for MFP and lost over 100lbs, with 175lbs being my total weight loss. I've recently had babies (twins), and I need support again. I ams o proud of you for doing this early! It will change your life. I'd love to be supportive!
  • untuvainen
    untuvainen Posts: 15 Member
    I want to look in the mirror and not hate what I see. I want to live my life.

    I know how you feel. I've struggled with that most of my life. Still am.
  • MyTurn2BHappy
    MyTurn2BHappy Posts: 475 Member
    Feel free to add me! I'm all about support and friendship! We can do this together!
  • bbardwell0916
    bbardwell0916 Posts: 33 Member
    Hi Brittany, I'm Brittanie! Lets help each other get to our goals :) Im all up for supporting and making friends! Its extremely hard to do this alone. Feel free to add me
  • aysea81
    aysea81 Posts: 12 Member
    Hi Brittany.
    Your post was very well written.
    Since you are starting to focus on diet and exercise at 18 I believe you will succeed.
    I believe you will make some great new lifestyle changes that will get you where you want to be.
    One piece of advice that I can offer is to be patient and consistent.
    When you plan for long term success your goals will be much more sustainable.
    Stick with the new lifestyle changes that you are going to make because every day will make a difference in the long run whether you see results immediately or not.
    Change will not be easy but the more you stick with the new habit the easier and more natural it will start to feel for you.