I'm the only one in my house who wants to make a change!

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My3Rayz
My3Rayz Posts: 373
in Motivation and Support
Help! I live with my husband, mother in law, and three kids. My husband and mother in law are THE PICKIEST people I know!! They don't like ANYTHING! They hate ground turkey or anything turkey for that matter. Don't like low fat or fat free dairy products. My husband constantly complains that everything I buy tastes like cardboard. He and his mother will go out and buy cookies, cupcakes and chips and bring them in the house! It's very frustrating to try and be healthy when you feel like you're being sabbotaged! I've even started cooking two meals...one for him, his mother and my son and one for me and my two daughters BUT now my mother in law is giving me a hard time about the cost of making two meals and making things we'll all eat BUT she only likes ground beef and brocolli and cauliflower! UGH!!! Any suggestions would be fabulous!

Replies

  • Silky815
    Silky815 Posts: 367 Member
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    You seem like you are serious about changing. Don't let them stop you from making this happen. Keep your chin up and stay strong. Good luck with everything. Feel free to friend me here.
  • Charlie001
    Charlie001 Posts: 354
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    Do whats right for you and try not to live for other people. Compreimise is good only as long as its equal.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I think it's great that you're willing to go far enough to make two meals.

    Next time your MIL complains just smiles and tell her you're just trying to save on future medical bills by getting in shape and being healthy.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,423 Member
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    Except for the makeup of the people, we may live in the same house! I only make one meal, if they don't like it they can cook something else for themselves. When my husband brings treats in the house, it sometimes takes every ounce of willpower I have, but I just don't eat it because if I start, I won't stop. My younger son is one of the pickiest people on the planet and you know what? He's not starving to death. My rule is he must try what we are having and if he doesn't like it he can make himself a PBJ. Good luck, stick to your guns, you are modeling great behaviors for your kids.
  • jtgill
    jtgill Posts: 48
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    I didn't know how big of a deal not having everyone on board was until I finally stopped buying the sweets the third time my husband said it was hard for him to diet with them in the house....I was buying them for my daughter and for my occasional splurge....but now that I have stopped bot only has he lost weight easier but I have lost a lot too! and you know what my 2 year old doesn't HAVE to have the sweets either. As for your family tell them if they want the "crap" to at least keep it out of your face or try to limit it :) Good luck and stay strong!
  • sylviablakely
    sylviablakely Posts: 20 Member
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    Get the picky people (mother-in-law and husband) to shop, pay for and make the meal for themselves and your son.
    You and your daughters should shop, pay for and make the meal together for the 3 of you.
    Note the important point here - you should not be doing all of this yourself - get them to help out.
    Turn this around now - they should appreciate what you are doing for them instead of complaining.
    I think this is a great solution so give it a try.
    Good luck.:flowerforyou:
  • getfitdiva
    getfitdiva Posts: 1,148 Member
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    I am the only one too with my husband and 2 kids (young). My husband does most of the cooking because I get home late. He already reached his goal weight and he likes to splurge. I have to make my own food and buy my own healthy alternatives. Hopefully when they see a change in me I will influence them with a healthier lifestyle. It's when I give into their mostly unhealthy eating that I don't focus on myself and my goals. Keep on doing YOUR thing - it will only set a great example and show your willpower.
  • BrentGetsFit
    BrentGetsFit Posts: 878 Member
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    Tell them to use the money they're spending on crap snacks to buy stuff for their own damn meals and they can cook them themselves. Now for a realistic answer, try recipes from Eating Well or other health conscious website or magazine. But I suspect you're going to have to give some tough love in any case. Some folks are willfully blind when it comes to their eating habits, I know I sure used to be. Good luck :)
  • Kayaker
    Kayaker Posts: 2 Member
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    I agree with Sylvia. You can't necessarily change the way your husband and MiL eat, but you are a major influence on the kids. Show them how to eat right and explain why it is so important.
  • annie_p
    annie_p Posts: 319 Member
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    You don't have to make two seperate meals. Just watch YOUR portions. Don't add salt/butter onto your foods, skip the gravy, anything you can do to cut out extra calories. As far as the sabotaging food in the house...my aunt says, "When you look at it...see worms. If it all looks like worms you won't want to eat it!" Personally, I keep healthy snacks in the house for me. I bought 3 boxes of those 100 calorie snacks for my cravings.

    You should also try talking to your husband and getting him behind you. He doesn't have to eat the way you do, but if you have his support it will be so much easier. My husband eats whatever he wants, and I just eat around that. Example...we had hamburgers, french fries, and broccoli the other night. I didn't have a bun, used BBQ sauce, had sweet potatoe fries, baked the fries, and didn't add cheese to my broccoli. I can't even imagine the calories I saved on that! Just simple little things go a long way. Keep at it and don't give up!
  • Ravenous1500
    Ravenous1500 Posts: 3
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    I agree with the previous posts. It sounds like they just want to complain to complain. I bet if you made a seemingly healthy meal that was actually made of their favorite fatty foods, they would still complain that it tastes bad. Maybe try to trick them? Make meals that think are fatty but that are actually made from healthier options....like sub Brummel & Brown yogurt spread for butter, etc... Or, just try to find healthy recipes that they do like. If they like fish, here is a most excellent recipe that tastes uber-wonderful but is less than 400 calories per HUGE serving.

    Baked Swai with Mushrooms, Tomatoes and Ginger
    (you can sub Trout or another less fatty fish)

    Nonstick cooking spray (I like Butter flavored Pam)
    2 whole swai filets (about 12 oz each)
    1/2 package of sliced baby bella mushrooms (sliced even thinner)
    1/2 cup chopped, seeded tomatoes
    2 teaspoons minced, peeled fresh ginger
    2 garlic cloves, minced (I buy pre-minced garlic that has 0 calories)
    4 teaspoons soy sauce
    2 teaspoons sesame oil
    Cilantro sprigs

    Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line large rimmed baking sheet with foil; coat with nonstick spray. Sprinkle fish with salt (sea salt; never table salt) and pepper. Lay fish filets flat on baking sheet.

    Mix next 4 ingredients in bowl. Spread mixture over fish filets, drizzle with soy sauce and sesame oil, then top with cilantro sprigs. Bake uncovered until fish is opaque in center, about 20 minutes.
  • keepitoff99
    keepitoff99 Posts: 117
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    I feel your pain.
    When my MIL lived with us, SHE did the cooking - picture Italian woman cooking everything in oil and butter!!
    I had a very hard time with that.

    My advice: try to cook lower fat meals and ignore them - if they want something different, they can cook it!
    Or I find what I do is cook a recipe - for example: baked salmon - and separate into two dishes - one with oil, one without....that way you are not making two different meals, just substituting lower fat, etc for yours.

    Very hard to live with others who do not support you. But, you are trying to look after your health right now, not your family's. Are they overweight or do they have issues with weight and not exercising? If not, look after getting yourself down in weight, then work on them.

    Good luck - I can relate as my husband does not do low fat or substitutions either - being italian he likes the taste!!
  • nehptune
    nehptune Posts: 138
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    Except for the makeup of the people, we may live in the same house! I only make one meal, if they don't like it they can cook something else for themselves. When my husband brings treats in the house, it sometimes takes every ounce of willpower I have, but I just don't eat it because if I start, I won't stop. My younger son is one of the pickiest people on the planet and you know what? He's not starving to death. My rule is he must try what we are having and if he doesn't like it he can make himself a PBJ. Good luck, stick to your guns, you are modeling great behaviors for your kids.

    this is basically exactly what i was going to say!
    if you are the person who does the cooking, well then they can either eat what you cook for them or go and sort something else out for themselves. you shouldn't have to cook 2 meals, and your family should realise that they might well benefit from making some changes to their lifestyle!!!!

    people who refuse to try new things are SO FRUSTRATING.
  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
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    This is a tough one. On the one hand, I think that picky eaters need to make their own meals if they don't like what's being served. On the other hand, I can see how this could cause a lot of anger and resentment to build up. I would take a two-fold approach. On the one hand, work on communicating with your family about why it's important for you (and them) to eat healthy foods. Try to find a neutral third party to facilitate the discussions (a family doctor, pastor, rabbi, or a counselor, a trusted family friend, etc...). When my husband complains about the cost of healthy food, I counter with the health care costs we're going to avoid. This is a good way to talk to your kids about where food comes from and how it's processed. Eat This, Not That has a picture of Chicken McNugget meat before it's turned into nuggets and it looks disgusting. Maybe your kids can help prepare meals, too.

    I don't think you should have to make two meals, but that's just me. However, it seems like this is an area where you can compromise. You can tell the family that you're going to research healthy, but tasty meals. If there are certain foods (like ground turkey) that you know they hate, then you can work around that. What about buying extra-lean beef instead?

    For recipes, try these sites:
    http://www.cookinglight.com/food/recipe-finder/
    http://www.hungry-girl.com/chew
    http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/food/recipes
    http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/slideshow/15-best-recipes-weight-loss#sharetagsfocus
    http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes_menus/collections/quick_healthy_dinner_recipes
    http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/recipe-collections-favorites/family-friendly-recipes-00000000023901/index.html

    ETA: I forgot to say that you'll tell them that you're going to research tastier, healthy foods, but will no longer be making two meals. If they don' t like what's on the table, then they have to make a sandwich or whatever. They need to at least meet you half way.
  • 1983Miller
    1983Miller Posts: 89 Member
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    I can relate to your predicament. I save 1/2 my daily calories for supper with the family (husband and 3 teenagers) I make sure that if I make something breaded or higher in calories, I prepare vegis and fruit and make sure those take a larger presence on the table. My kids can have the fries and the burger and some fruit, my plate 1 plain burger patty with a touch of heinz (tastes like a steak then!, 1 -2 cups of cantalope, 1 -2 cups of frozen green beans. This will fill me up and keep me on the path to eating right, after 19 days of starting this plan my husband has been seen taking an extra scoop of vegis instead of a second hamburger. Changes come small to make it last for a lifetime! :flowerforyou: Stick with it; and explore meals on other myfitnesspal friends food diaries. This helps you get some new ideas too!

    Also if you are going out to eat check out this great restaurant calorie chart: http://www.fastfood.com/nutrition/
  • 1983Miller
    1983Miller Posts: 89 Member
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    Oh yeah, my family has trouble with ground turkey too! I use spices to jazz it up for tacos and they hardly know the difference!
  • Lokitaa21
    Lokitaa21 Posts: 13
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    We all know grammie is never going to get on board and neither is Rick. They don't care about their bodies or themselves. They brought home pretzeles from wawa today, Really? We have PLENTY of snacks. But do whats healthy for us, Stop making two meals if they dont like it they can make what they want. They're the ones hurting themselves why should we join them?
  • PoeRaven
    PoeRaven Posts: 433 Member
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    Hi there!

    I know exactly what you are going through. I won't go into details about my family's eating habits but I will tell you what I did about it.

    It took me several months to "decide" to change. When my doctor told me I was at the high end of my weight range I knew I was heading for trouble, :noway: so I made a "concious" decision...I was going to change. I set a date (January 4th 2010) and on the weekend before that date, I made an announcement to my family...I WAS GOING TO CHANGE. :indifferent:
    No longer would I cook fat-laden, heavy meals. :noway: No longer would I supply the household with empty carbohydrates. If they didn't like what I put before them then they knew where both the store and stove were located. Of course I got one of "those" looks...:huh:
    Then, I invested in a really REALLY good low fat cookbook. I reccommend you do the same. There are literally hundreds of them out there. The one I got is titled "TASTE OF HOME COMFORT FOOD DIET" and your hubby and MIL will never know the difference.

    I have had no complaints. :drinker:

    Good luck to you!
    :flowerforyou:
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,275 Member
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    Hi there!

    I know exactly what you are going through. I won't go into details about my family's eating habits but I will tell you what I did about it.

    It took me several months to "decide" to change. When my doctor told me I was at the high end of my weight range I knew I was heading for trouble, :noway: so I made a "concious" decision...I was going to change. I set a date (January 4th 2010) and on the weekend before that date, I made an announcement to my family...I WAS GOING TO CHANGE. :indifferent:
    No longer would I cook fat-laden, heavy meals. :noway: No longer would I supply the household with empty carbohydrates. If they didn't like what I put before them then they knew where both the store and stove were located. Of course I got one of "those" looks...:huh:
    Then, I invested in a really REALLY good low fat cookbook. I reccommend you do the same. There are literally hundreds of them out there. The one I got is titled "TASTE OF HOME COMFORT FOOD DIET" and your hubby and MIL will never know the difference.

    I have had no complaints. :drinker:

    Good luck to you!
    :flowerforyou:

    This is a great reply and very reasonable. I think the cook/shopper should determine what is eaten. If your MIL or husband cooks I would plan for it with my calories earlier in the day and use portions to balance out or as you have been doing shop and cook for those who want a healthy dinner. You do not have to make both meals. If they don't shop and cook healthy meals. I would use lean beef once a week for them and turkey once a week for you and your daughters. Healthy means variety. Lean ground beef isn't bad and beef has some things we need. However not everyday - once week is enough. I wished I didn't cowtow to my kids picky eating preferences. They grow up and ask you why you made such boring foods when they were growing up. Definitely if they shop and cook let them but if you want to eat differently and are willing to shop and cook for yourself and daughters do it. They have the option of 1 healthy meal or 2 meals. If they want to save they can eat yours. Be clear, caring and firm. Use the reasoning above about costs now or in the future for doctors. Good luck. I know it isn't easy. I am really happy to see the results in my family since I made changes.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
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    My Mother always had a good philosophy about the food she cooked for dinner. She gave us two choices "take it" or "leave it". I suggest you do the same with your obnoxious Mother-in-Law and Husband. No One needs the grief you are taking.

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