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Struggling yet again

I know there are a ton of forum posts about this daily, and I've already posted things in a similar vein...but it helps me to have the individual support.

I am seriously struggling again. I had lost over 60 lbs, and regained nearly 10 at the start of a much more sedentary job. I've stopped cooking (because I hate cooking) and tend to snack instead. Lately I've been eating a pint of ice cream nearly every day, and seem unable to resist the urge to go out and buy it. Nothing really satisfies me anymore. I have a lump on my achilles tendon that is affecting the muscles and ankle on that leg that is worsening, and makes it painful to walk very far, and forget jogging. I will hopefully be getting that fixed when insurance kicks in on August 1st, but it is likely to involve surgery which means even more time off my feet. It's hard because I do really like walking around and feel restless a lot of the time. The regained weight makes it so that I don't want people to see me in public anyway. I am too embarrassed by my body. I don't want to live this way anymore. I have to either find some way to pick myself up and change and lose again, or it's going to end. I don't know how to stop the cravings/impulsions to eat chocolate and ice cream in massive amounts, and I don't know where to find the will to get up and cook something when I hate cooking so much and find it to be a waste of time. I also only have a shared kitchen in my whole apartment so I can't have privacy when I'm cooking, and I don't like others to see what I'm eating. I only have a tiny sink in my room which makes cleanup a pain in the *kitten* too.

I just need someone to read this and help, please? I think I need therapy in reality, but it's not really an option cost-wise, and I'm at the breaking point now, it can't wait until insurance kicks in. I'm terrified I'll go back up to 190 lbs, and I don't know if I can handle it if I'm that fat again.

Replies

  • chrs86
    chrs86 Posts: 151 Member
    I only had to read the first few sentences. You need to motivate yourself. You already know what you're doing wrong. You're the only person who can change that. Stop making excuses.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Start by tracking everything you ate today. And everything you eat tomorrow and the next day. That is the best way to get yourself where you want to go.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    You know how to do this.

    Just get back on the wagon and track - good, bad, ugly. Make yourself accountable.

    How about swimming? Could you do that?
  • mirrinias
    mirrinias Posts: 80 Member
    You know how to do this.

    Just get back on the wagon and track - good, bad, ugly. Make yourself accountable.

    How about swimming? Could you do that?

    I'd love to swim, I've just had a hard time finding a place that's affordable (like, $10-$12 per month). The summer hasn't been warm enough here to swim in lakes for free.

    What about tackling the irresistible cravings? I have control over every aspect of my life -- keeping myself from being angry and snapping at work, doing a good job, not letting anything slide, I keep good track of my money, I never do impulsive things -- except when it comes to food, all willpower is gone.
  • hmdiaz76
    hmdiaz76 Posts: 10 Member
    I second the suggestion of swimming.

    If you're convinced you're going to eat ice cream, log it very first thing in the morning. It'd be great if you could get to a point where maybe ice cream was an occasional treat. But for now, at least log the calories and try to fit them into your daily allowance. On that note, I started strong with aiming for a 2-lb. loss per week and the low calorie amount made me mental. I lowered my goal to 1-lb. per week and have found that calorie allowance more doable.

    Good luck! This isn't easy at all to make lifestyle changes.
  • chrs86
    chrs86 Posts: 151 Member
    If you can afford all this food to gain weight I'm sure you can afford a higher priced gym.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    You know how to do this.

    Just get back on the wagon and track - good, bad, ugly. Make yourself accountable.

    How about swimming? Could you do that?

    I'd love to swim, I've just had a hard time finding a place that's affordable (like, $10-$12 per month). The summer hasn't been warm enough here to swim in lakes for free.

    What about tackling the irresistible cravings? I have control over every aspect of my life -- keeping myself from being angry and snapping at work, doing a good job, not letting anything slide, I keep good track of my money, I never do impulsive things -- except when it comes to food, all willpower is gone.

    Cravings are hard. For me, I pre-log my food each day and include my chocolate or icecream if that's what I want. Knowing that I can have that after dinner is something I look forward to and helps with the mindset during the rest of the day. Or find different ways to make the same food - make your own icecream from frozen bananas?
  • mirrinias
    mirrinias Posts: 80 Member
    You know how to do this.

    Just get back on the wagon and track - good, bad, ugly. Make yourself accountable.

    How about swimming? Could you do that?

    I'd love to swim, I've just had a hard time finding a place that's affordable (like, $10-$12 per month). The summer hasn't been warm enough here to swim in lakes for free.

    What about tackling the irresistible cravings? I have control over every aspect of my life -- keeping myself from being angry and snapping at work, doing a good job, not letting anything slide, I keep good track of my money, I never do impulsive things -- except when it comes to food, all willpower is gone.

    Cravings are hard. For me, I pre-log my food each day and include my chocolate or icecream if that's what I want. Knowing that I can have that after dinner is something I look forward to and helps with the mindset during the rest of the day. Or find different ways to make the same food - make your own icecream from frozen bananas?

    I'd forgotten that I used to religiously pre-log. I am actually pretty fond of frozen bananas (they hurt my teeth, but it's worth it). If I can find the freezer space, I'll give it a shot! Actually, it wouldn't be all that bad just to keep the bananas on the counter and put a new one in the freezer every time I take one out.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    You know how to do this.

    Just get back on the wagon and track - good, bad, ugly. Make yourself accountable.

    How about swimming? Could you do that?

    I'd love to swim, I've just had a hard time finding a place that's affordable (like, $10-$12 per month). The summer hasn't been warm enough here to swim in lakes for free.

    What about tackling the irresistible cravings? I have control over every aspect of my life -- keeping myself from being angry and snapping at work, doing a good job, not letting anything slide, I keep good track of my money, I never do impulsive things -- except when it comes to food, all willpower is gone.

    Cravings are hard. For me, I pre-log my food each day and include my chocolate or icecream if that's what I want. Knowing that I can have that after dinner is something I look forward to and helps with the mindset during the rest of the day. Or find different ways to make the same food - make your own icecream from frozen bananas?

    I'd forgotten that I used to religiously pre-log. I am actually pretty fond of frozen bananas (they hurt my teeth, but it's worth it). If I can find the freezer space, I'll give it a shot! Actually, it wouldn't be all that bad just to keep the bananas on the counter and put a new one in the freezer every time I take one out.

    Absolutely! Or just factor in a serve of your favourite icecream if you've got the calories :) You gotta enjoy the ride otherwise you wont last xx
    Pre-logging is awesome and really helps me to plan my day - for instance today I have about 250 calories just running spare after planning all my food to hit my macros today, so you bet that I'm gonna go and find out whats in the snack box at work lol
  • coral_b
    coral_b Posts: 264 Member
    Frozen yoghurt is better, and in my opinion nicer than ice cream, Try that as a substitute. I, myself have gained 8lbs back since Christmas; I've been recovering from a chronic illness.... and quite simply put- I've been eating too much and not logging it all. No excuses.
    Every suggestion given to you has been replied to with an excuse. No money for exercise, yet you afford fancy food treats, frozen banana IF you find freezer space. (if you pay for the gym upfront and money is really that tight technically even if you WANT the bad stuff the money is already spent)
    I know it's hard- I battle daily with cravings- but bottom line I TRY even when things are tough and I keep coming back to healthy choices and exercise.
    Log in the morning or the evening before (it takes 5 minutes to log, 10-15 mins to prepare food so time shouldn't be too much trouble) Budget in for cravings or small treats every day. You have to enjoy food, too, because if you feel deprived you will fall off the wagon (like I did!!). Try upper body workouts such as holding a squat pose and shadow box with weights. What about stationary bikes? Look for one second hand/cheap. Do some strength training- as my profile pic shows it can REALLY make a difference. It's never going to be easy if you have a food based addiction/ emotional eating or any other bad food habit. Just don't give up!