Break up: no contact?

ProteinFiend13
ProteinFiend13 Posts: 10
in Chit-Chat
Is cutting off all contact with your ex the best way to get over a painful break up? Can people stay in contact and truly move on? Thoughts and experiences?
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Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,511 Member
    Is cutting off all contact with your ex the best way to get over a painful break up?

    Much less painful than cutting off other things.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,385 Member
    if there are no children involved a clean break is usually best.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
    i think depends on who you are and how you deal with things.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,474 Member
    Unless there are kids involved, sever all ties.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    No contact for a period of time.

    No contact for all of time.

    Depends on the circumstances, but a period of separation is critical. I am friends with a few exes, the only way that's possible is having the break to heal emotionally and move on.
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
    Unless there are kids involved, sever all ties.

    Yep.
  • Barbellarella_
    Barbellarella_ Posts: 454 Member
    I dunno I haven't had a boyfriend for like 18 years or so.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I always cut off all communication until they are ready to approach me and be friends again. I don't want to push it too soon because it takes time to heal.

    That's if they are ever ready at all?
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    Generally, yes I would think so. Although it is very hard to cut off contact completely, especially if you were the one dumped. It could also depend on WHY the breakup happened. Was it fairly amicable parting, or was it a huge blowout?

    I got dumped a few months ago, and it was really hard. He was much better at "no contact" than I was. But it probably was for the best. Seeing him/talking to him afterwards would've just upset me more and slowed down the healing process. Not that I'm completely over it yet, but I'm sure I would've been worse off if I'd continued to try to reach out to him.

    As for looking up the ex on social media - don't do it, no matter how tempting it is. It will only make you feel worse and prevent you from moving on.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
    No contact. All it would do is make you feel worse and prolong the agony.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    I'm a firm believer in no contact for at least 6 months to a year, until feelings have run their course and any bitterness has subsided. I am friends with a couple exes, but only after we went through a no contact phase. Every other ex that we tried to stay friends with right off the bat was a disaster.
  • Keasteregg
    Keasteregg Posts: 16 Member
    No contact. . .
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    None. At. All
  • marchellaz
    marchellaz Posts: 70 Member
    Yes best to not see the ex, don't stock facebook or obsess over them. Focus on YOU and you will end up with so much better off.
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
    Is cutting off all contact with your ex the best way to get over a painful break up?

    Why are they your ex then..?
    Can people stay in contact and truly move on?

    It depends on the two involved. Is it worth keeping the person in your life?
    Thoughts and experiences?

    If my ex-husband and I would not have had my daughter...I would not see a reason to know if he even existed or not.
  • MalayanTiger
    MalayanTiger Posts: 61
    http://www.psychalive.org/what-is-your-attachment-style/
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,733 Member
    Is cutting off all contact with your ex the best way to get over a painful break up? Can people stay in contact and truly move on? Thoughts and experiences?

    I'm best friends and roommates with my ex hubby. We're family. However, my most recent ex boyfriend and I do not talk at all. He took it very, very hard and it was better for him to have no contact. So it all depends on the people and the situation.
  • stickersticker
    stickersticker Posts: 140 Member
    Loser leaves town....................I've moved a lot.
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    No contact. Never. Ever. Again.

    Edit to add...unless they are children involved. Otherwise, see above.

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