Break up: no contact?

Usually best to sever all contact, which hurts, but makes things much more simple.

After a few months pass and you both decide to try to be friends, it is doable.

It's only stalking if you cross state lines.

I'm a firm believer in no contact for at least 6 months to a year, until feelings have run their course and any bitterness has subsided. I am friends with a couple exes, but only after we went through a no contact phase. Every other ex that we tried to stay friends with right off the bat was a disaster.

Outside of a situation with children, I agree.
I've tried to stay friends and I've seen my friends go through it. Very often it doesn't work. There is usually one who has feelings and the whole friends thing is basically just leading on the hope of getting back together or it doesn't allow that party to move on. I've been on both sides of that, so my rule is no contact for awhile.

I think an important part of breaking up is learning to be without the other party, even if you were the one to break it off. I've been in that spot where you can't imagine your life without them, until you actually do and realize you don't really need them like you thought you did.

It depends....I have exes that I have never really had any contact with since breaking up and never will...I have exes that we have kept in touch to some extent but it's not like I'm best buddies with them or see them everyday or anything.

Even the ones I keep in some touch with, there was a period of time where there was no deliberate contact...we generally became reacquainted with each other somewhere down the line on a different level. I think that there generally has to be some time apart...I don't really know anyone who can just go from being together in a committed relationship to being friends overnight.

Of course, where children are involved, you have to put personal feeling aside and do what's best for the kids which means that usually you're going to have to see each other and be cordial for the sake of the children. They shouldn't have to suffer or miss spending time with their mom or dad just because two adults are being *kitten* and can't get along. Of course, there are exceptions here as well...

Is cutting off all contact with your ex the best way to get over a painful break up? Can people stay in contact and truly move on? Thoughts and experiences?

The two only ways I can see staying in contact to be a good thing are for the possibility of trying again or both people agree the breakup is for the best and being friends is better (but in the latter instance one might assume both parties would be happy and not feeling pain from that kind of split).

How recent was the breakup? Why is it so painful? Because you still love that person? If you still love them and stay in contact with them, who's to say you wont get back together? The Universe is always conspiring.

If you sever all ties permanently and force yourself to never have contact despite your feelings, then the possibility of having a more intimate relationship with someone you love is significantly reduced (i am still saying its possible).

** These statement has not been evaluated by anyone. Before starting any new dating and relationship program please check with your relationship professional and clear any changes with them before beginning. I am not a relationship professional or registered dating expert. This post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any negative feelings. I do not provide relationship or social advice for the purpose of sanity or mental health and claim to be a relationship professional or registered dating expert.

I'm a firm believer in no contact for at least 6 months to a year, until feelings have run their course and any bitterness has subsided. I am friends with a couple exes, but only after we went through a no contact phase. Every other ex that we tried to stay friends with right off the bat was a disaster.

This. 6 months to a year at least.

if there are no children involved a clean break is usually best.

This.

cut off all ties if you can because once you wander back for ex sex which is usually the best mind blowing sex you will ever have you are kinda screwed, you will be stuck between coming and going on many levels and then if you thought you were confused and having heart ache before, you will open the door to a whole new world of pain! move on clean as can be no looking back!

^^ +10