Does anyone else have a weight loss Saboteur?
RGPargy
Posts: 285 Member
I dont know about you lot, but it seems that whenever I say to my boyfriend that I am serious about losing weight and will be doing this, that and the other to do so, he seems to somehow sabotage my efforts! For instance, the other day we decided to have a frozen pizza for dinner. I knew the cals would be around 350 so allowed myself that. There was also talk of maybe adding some chips, which i also allowed for. But when he came home, he said "oh no, look what fell out of my bag!" and he pulled out a bottle of wine!! My will power is pretty pants for a glass or two of wine in the evening and if it's in the house, there's no way it'll stay unopened! I hadn't even thought about wine for a good few days but since he brought it home, we've had wine every night.
Last night he was on a mission to have the last remaining xmas item - a christmas pud! So in the microwave it went and we had it with double cream! I admit i had half the amount he did and only 2 dessert spoons of cream with it, but nevertheless that and the wine made me go nearly 500 cals over my limit! I dont even like Xmas pud that much!!
He doesn't do it all the time and mostly he's encouraging (so please dont think bad of him!) but it's so frustrating sometimes because he seems to do it just when my resolve is at it's weakest!!
This week will be a bad week i think because it's my birthday on Friday and I know my pump instructor friend is going to bring me in a cake tomorrow (bad lady! ) and then my fella will no doubt buy me a cake on Friday, plus i'm going out drinking on Saturday night :drinker: ...... erk!!
Lots of things to put me off the wagon this week so i'm not going to get too upset about it, but I am deffo putting my foot down from Monday next week! Saboteurs can kiss my ***!!!!! :laugh: :laugh:
Last night he was on a mission to have the last remaining xmas item - a christmas pud! So in the microwave it went and we had it with double cream! I admit i had half the amount he did and only 2 dessert spoons of cream with it, but nevertheless that and the wine made me go nearly 500 cals over my limit! I dont even like Xmas pud that much!!
He doesn't do it all the time and mostly he's encouraging (so please dont think bad of him!) but it's so frustrating sometimes because he seems to do it just when my resolve is at it's weakest!!
This week will be a bad week i think because it's my birthday on Friday and I know my pump instructor friend is going to bring me in a cake tomorrow (bad lady! ) and then my fella will no doubt buy me a cake on Friday, plus i'm going out drinking on Saturday night :drinker: ...... erk!!
Lots of things to put me off the wagon this week so i'm not going to get too upset about it, but I am deffo putting my foot down from Monday next week! Saboteurs can kiss my ***!!!!! :laugh: :laugh:
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Replies
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yeah my addiction to sweets Hate to tell you this pal but it is about us We need to be disciplined. i was great for four months lost 75 LBS, since middle of December i have given in to my sweet tooth adn held. I need to re focus somehow.0
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I can so relate. My husband weighs 2lbs more than he did when we met thirty-three years ago. He eats whatever he likes and never thinks twice about it. Although, he supports my weight loss goals and says he will do whatever and eat whatever I need in order to stay on my diet. He often does the same thing as your boyfriend,
Just the other morning as I was getting dressed for church, he came in and says "Breakfast is waiting for you..he had made blueberry pancakes and fried eggs along with orange juice and coffee." Only after he noticed my puzzled look, did he acknowledge--Oh, I guess I goofed up --this is probably not on your eating plan.
Truth be known, he is not trying to sabotage me.. My husband and most likely your boyfriend..wants to make me happy, and shower me with things he knows will do that. History has shown my hubby that I like pancakes and eggs for breakfast and since weight loss is not a personal struggle for him, he just doesn't readily think of calorie content when he picks out a meal.
How I handled it, I thanked him graciously for making such a nice breakfast before church and then I ate half of it and told hi, I was stuffed..then I paid a little closer attention to what I ate for lunch that day.
If you really love wine..forbidding yourself to have any will not work in the long haul. My thought is I need to change the way I live within parameters that I can live with. To completely upset my entire diet and exercise program is not going to last for the long haul and this must be a lifetime change for it to truly succeed.
But to answer your question,---yes, I have a dear saboteur in my life as well.0 -
I think we all have 'bad' days! Mine tends to be Friday evening, when I'm frazzled from work and a few glasses of wine are calling... last week I went over by 800 cals! But I reckon as long as your honest with yourself and your food diary you can attempt to be good for the rest of the time and put in an extra walk / excercise over the weekend to even it all out ! As for birthdays... well whats the point in dieting if you cant enjoy yourself once in a while! If you go over, dont berate yourself, we're all human, have a good one - take some pics and realise that for your next one you could be at your personal goal.
I'm lucky in the fact that my bf is doing MFP with me, so we are consistantly comparing notes and calories, v sad, but he gets me through . If its getting you down, then just sit down with your bf and mention that even if he loves you just as you are, you want to make a positive change for whatever reason! Hope this helps and good luck! Have a Happy Birthday!0 -
icubsn98 - Your hubby sounds like mine! Yes, my boyfriend was only trying to make me happy, bless him!
I would much rather not drink alcohol every night as it does affect my performance at the gym the next day and also hinders weight loss for me too. I'd much rather just do what i used to do and just drink when i was out or getting ready to go out! My nicer on the waistline!
Dlibo - yes, you are so right. It is all about US and our lack of willpower! That's how i got to be this lump that i am now!
Sarahanne - You are lucky that your bf is right there with you! I'm not going to beat myself up about going over on my birthday but i am definitely going to get back on track by Monday!0 -
Hello, I know exactly what you mean. Why don't you show him this site, let him see how focused you need to be, I'm sure he will totally understood what you want and will help you out if it's all made clear to him. Also, don't forget he may be feeling a little insecure with your new found desire to lose weight, especially if you have always enjoyed 'eating treats' together. What about getting him on the healthy eating plan? If he doesn't need to lose the weight, or to join you if he does.
I know at the end of the day it's you that has to lose the weight but in the beginning you need as much help as you can get, especially from your man who can really make a difference to you. Talk to him and get him on board. Hope that helps and good luck. XX0 -
Hahaha I can totally relate!
My boyfriend is addicted to jelly sweets and he knows I too have a massive weakness! Regardless of how many times i ask him to hide them or try and eat them when i'm not around he will still produce bags of them in evenings! Grrrrr
Two for Tuesdays at Dominos.... great deal but not when you're trying to lose weight! Every Tuesday bofy n I will argue about this. He will order it anyway and tell me it's fine he'll have the left overs for supper the night after and or take the rest to work. This never happens!!
Alcohol also... He always has wine and beer in the kitchen and he cant drink a whole bottle on his own.....
UUUUURGH!!
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I know what you mean, my husband is as supportive as he can be while he is away (he works away all week, i only see him at weekends at the moment) and he always praises me...however when the weekend arrives it tends to be a different story, for example, last weekend on Friday he came home and he and my parents decided we should all have domino's for dinner...i had one slice...which in itself was 220 calories!! but then i ate some salad. The Saturday he wanted chinese...so he had sweet and sour pork balls, rice and chips... and i had half of a chow mein trying to keep the cals to a minimum, then Sunday came and he wanted pub food...so he had a huge mixed grill and i tried to find the only thing on the menu that had loads of vegetables. I think somewhere we all have out own Saboteur in one way or another, but the key is to try not to totally alienate yourself from it, allow yourself a very small amount of what you want while trying to keep within your calories, I ate those things this weekend and still lost 3lbs.
Hopefully with a bit of self restraint and a small allowance we can do this
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my partner also does things like that but i think he does it to test my willpower, i just ignore him now.
its things that will happen in everyday life. iv set myself a goal to lose 10lbs for my birthday its in 5 weeks but by the way things have went this week im not sure i will get to it.
but i will also be having a drink on a birthday and a meal out. but in the meantime i have switched sweets and crisps for lower calorie versions so i dont feel like im missing out, iv also cut out the drink til then as well to try and reach my first goal.0 -
My weight loss saboteurs are my co-workers. Not a day goes by without someone producing cakes, muffins, chocolate cookies - usually home-made, and the person who has made them gets all offended when I refuse to partake. What I usually do now is take one, and take it back to my desk, saying I'll eat it later - then I discreetly dispose of it.
I don't like broadcasting the fact I'm on a diet to anyone.0 -
Mine did me in yesterday...be strong..0
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Thank goodness i am not the only one who has people in their life trying to be "nice" to them by offering treats! We both need to lose weight, although he doesn't need to lose nowhere near the same amount as me, and we are both trying to conquer our portion sizes too. We seem to be doing not too badly with that, but then when it comes to cooking a roast dinner on sundays, i just cannot help myself and subconsciously peel half a ton of spuds for the roasties!! :blushing: :blushing:0
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We have a biggest loser challenge at work and I keep finding sweets and snacks on my desk. They're trying to sabotage my efforts, but it ain't gonna work. In fact, just the fact that they are trying so hard to sabotage me tells me they think I'm a huge threat. That makes me feel better.0
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Thank goodness i am not the only one who has people in their life trying to be "nice" to them by offering treats! We both need to lose weight, although he doesn't need to lose nowhere near the same amount as me, and we are both trying to conquer our portion sizes too. We seem to be doing not too badly with that, but then when it comes to cooking a roast dinner on sundays, i just cannot help myself and subconsciously peel half a ton of spuds for the roasties!! :blushing: :blushing:
i do that too i love my roasties yummm0 -
My weight loss saboteurs are my co-workers.
I just tell them "No thanks, I don't want to go back to looking like you"
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One of my bosses! He will cook all kinds of things and bring them in for lunch...usually not very healthy of course. And he brings extra to share. He tends to be offened if I don't try it. And then I get the "OH IT WON'T HURT!" or "YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WIEGHT!" Then about once a week he will want to order us pizza or burgers for lunch. Work is definitely where I have the most pressure!0
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My boyfriend is the same way. We both have an addiction to sweets. The difference is that he can eat whatever he wants and not gain any weight. If I look at it, let alone eat it, I gain weight. When we eat, he always wants me to eat more than the portion I have on my plate so we have small disagreements about that. He is a wonderful guy and will do anything for me but still does not get it that what he is doing is sort of sabotaging what my goal is.
On the weekend he loves pancakes or waffles and will fix them so I eat a small portion of them because he is doing it to please me. Before I really decided to get my life back and lose weight, I would eat everything he does and now I am paying for it.
Good luck to everyone.0 -
Oh my fiance is bad...he can have chocolate stashed around the house and never eat it...where as I sit and stare at it until it drives me nuts...he left After Eight chocolate BESIDE THE BED before he went out of town for a week...it's like cheese in a mouse trap. He also has a king size EatMore bar on the dresser, that I had to drop into his sock drawer so I wouldn't devour it. I know it's there, but I can't see it so I haven't eaten it yet. Chips are the worst. He'll buy a bag of chips for lunch and not eat them, but he knows they won't be leaving the house if he brings them home. He does this mostly to test me, because he thinks it's funny, but he understands that if it's in the house I'll eat it. He will cook, and ask me if I want any, if I don't it's up to me to make my own meal. He's getting better, but I'm the one that wants to cheat all the time lol0
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Mine is my mother. She's convinced that just because something is organic that it means it's healthy or low cal/fat. So she'll make home made ice cream and try to convince me it's fine for me to eat since the whole cream she used was organic. Or that the ginormous buns she bought for the 4th of July BBQ were okay to eat because they were whole wheat (they were also 400 calories per bun)
And she'll do stuff like ask me specifically what I'd like if we'll be coming over for a get together, like for 4th of July or something. So I'll give her specifics or tell her that I'll bring stuff I can have but she insists she'll get the right stuff, then goes and buys whatever she wants that she considers close enough. Then she tries to tell me that it doesn't matter cuz it's a holiday and it doesn't really count. Like it's okay to eat the fruit salad that's literally drowned/soaking in a sugar syrup because it's fruit and a family get together.
But like it's been said above, it's about being strong in situations like that. I've managed to resist and work through every single sabotage attempt she threw at me. And sometimes it meant digging into her fridge/pantry and creating my own meal from scratch.
But if I had given in every single time my mom, sister, husband, co-worker, friend, etc had said "but it's just this one thing", "it's a special event", "having just one won't kill you", I'd never have been able to lose what I have.
And, once I did lose weight and my family and friends saw the results, guess who they're now asking how I did it and what tips and advice I have for them. I spent most of the last two times I saw my mom talking to her about my favorite recipes and how to cook healthier meals for her and my dad cuz she's so impressed with everything I've done.0 -
Pretty much all my family. It's very nice for people to buy me a box of chocolates, i do appreciate it, but I'll either shove them away until a time when i've got a terrible craving or binge on them. My younger brother is trying to be healthier, so it's nice when he visits as I don't have to worry about clashing foods. He does have the annoying habit of telling me off if I reach for a cookie or something, which is horribly frustrating if i've worked my whole day out just so I can have one.
And my grandparents are pretty awful for this as well. As their only granddaughter they love to spoil me but they buy me energy drinks that have 58% of the rda of sugar. So I don't offend them I have a sip and then keep the rest of the bottle for "later" and tip it away later.0 -
Oh my fiance is bad...he can have chocolate stashed around the house and never eat it...where as I sit and stare at it until it drives me nuts...he left After Eight chocolate BESIDE THE BED before he went out of town for a week...it's like cheese in a mouse trap. He also has a king size EatMore bar on the dresser, that I had to drop into his sock drawer so I wouldn't devour it. I know it's there, but I can't see it so I haven't eaten it yet. Chips are the worst. He'll buy a bag of chips for lunch and not eat them, but he knows they won't be leaving the house if he brings them home. He does this mostly to test me, because he thinks it's funny, but he understands that if it's in the house I'll eat it. He will cook, and ask me if I want any, if I don't it's up to me to make my own meal. He's getting better, but I'm the one that wants to cheat all the time lol
Although me and bf are both on MFP, he is exactly like you (and I suppose I am like your bf!). I can buy a bar of chocolate, chuck it in the fridge and leave it there for a week, the bf will see the chocolate and have to eat it, straight away, that goes for crisps, peanut butter, jam, honey.... the amount of times I have thought about having peanut butter on toast (before diet), gone to the cupboard and found a scrapped empty jar!! I dont try and actually sabatage him though - now we are watching our weight we dont even buy anything like that, just incase the bf's will power doesnt hold out!!0
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