Obese Wife/Underweight Husband...How to deal?

pnkpassion · July 2014

Hello MFPs!

I am a more traditional wife, I enjoy cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner but I am having a hard time cooking for both of us that will be on target for our individual nutrition goals.

My Hubby physician suggested that he eats at least 5,000 calories per day to maintain his weight and add protein shakes as well as lifting to gain weight. (He does not have any illness, he just has an amazing metabolism)

I on the other hand should consume no more than 1600 calories and don't even look at anything appetizing in order to lose weight.

I am running out of ideas on how to cook, handle snacks, ect. so that we both can benefit from a healthy lifestyle on both ends of the spectrum.

Any advice??

itsbasschick · July 2014

my husband eats around 3000 calories per day and i eat 1200 net, so i basically make us separate meals that we can eat together. still, if you eat healthy foods with lots of protein - egg beaters, chicken breasts, etc - there's no reason you can't eat what he's eating but less of it. this is where a scale comes in handy.

i mean, you make a low fat lasagna with 20 grams of protein per serving or a scramble with egg beaters and avocado and some potatoes, he eats 2.5 servings you eat 1.

taramaclaren · July 2014

This is definitely going to be a challenge for you... but it sounds like the best option for you here is portion control. Cook nutritional and yummy food for the both of you, and then you just eat less. Also, your hubby can be responsible for supplementing his intake too. If he needs to eat more food he is more than capable of grabbing a handful of nuts or making a protein shake.

Koholint · July 2014

I agree about portions. I will eat a reasonable portion of the [GF] lasagna I made for both of us for dinner but I will have a huge helping of vegetables on the side. That way, I'm full of just 1 serving of 400 cal lasagna

As for snacks, since I eat gluten-free and my husband doesn't, I already buy snacks just for him that I don't eat. They're his treats

And I make sure it's nothing I would eat, like Pringles (contain gluten!) or granola bars (which can contain gluten.) That way, he knows that there's higher calorie things just for him when he gets hungry. Maybe ask your husband what kind of things he would like to have around the house to eat, if you haven't already.

mrsmitchell0510 · July 2014

I will pack more calorie dense snacks for my husband to take to work with him that I do not pack for myself.
Also, at dinner time, I make more starches for my husband, like potatoes and bread, that I replace on my plate with extra veggies. It's not always easy watching him eat things that I would love to be munching on, but I know that the end results will outweigh the moments of satisfaction that I get as I eat them. I've gotten myself to a point now that I can even have a bite and be satisfied with that without having a full portion (or portions, as I used to). Like the ladies above, portion sizes help immensely as well! My husbands portions are quite different than the portions that are on my plate.

Also, just because he needs to consume more calories, does not mean that it has to be junk foods. Find things that are a bit higher in fats that you both can add into your diet like real butter, cream, eggs, avocados, and nuts. I have found that adding more fat to my meals keeps me fuller longer.

Oh, and if he likes ice cream, this is a great way to add in calories! You both can enjoy it together, just be sure that your portion is smaller than his.

It takes a little getting used to, but it can happen!

sexymamadraeger · July 2014

I'd say try different size plates at meal times. When I'm dieting I use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate. That helps me keep my portions smaller. Maybe that would help? Also, fix him the same meals you eat and he can eat bigger snacks on his own.

I_Will_End_You · July 2014

My boyfriend has a much higher TDEE than me. We eat the same things, I just eat less than him.

orangpeel757 · July 2014

Here are a few suggestions:
1. try keeping snacks around the house that he loves but you hate
2. make him drink protein shakes
3. make whatever you want and then give him a huge portion of it
4. have him take leftovers to work with him in addition to a sandwich or something
5. go out to eat, but plan ahead by checking out the menu. You can have a sensible meal and he can eat something with a lot of calories.
6. try making a plan for your food. When I make cookies,I plan to make them last a few of days. I'll set aside 2-3cookies for each day. These go in a container and then out of sight so I'm not constantly tempted.The rest I give to my husband.

pnkpassion · July 2014

Thank you very much!!!!!!

All of these tips and tricks should definitely help!!

Keepcalmanddontblink · July 2014

Peanut butter and Nutella! Lots of sandwiches as snacks for my husband, and I just allow myself a tablespoon of the stuff whenever I find myself craving it.

pnkpassion · July 2014

PB & J Sandwiches do tend to do the trick for him!! I guess I will be making more

schelly81 · July 2014

Same problem here. I eat 1500-1800 and he eats 3000-5000 and is tall and slim. I eat what he does but smaller portions or I'll have my protein over a big salad while he has his with rice or potatoes and butter. I also tend to buy the snacks that he'll eat and I don't like. I like to cook up a big batch of protein, freeze some and have the rest in the fridge. Right now we have slow cooker buffalo chicken in the fridge. He mixed his with full fat mayo and cheese for sandwiches and I put mine in lettuce wraps with avocado, tomato and low cal ranch. It gets easy once you get used to it.

Chelsarrr · July 2014

Similar situation with me! My bf is an ultramarathon runner and burns 10000+ cals some days. We eat one meal together, i usually just double the protein and sub a vegetable for the carb. He eats all the carbs and a single portion of the protein. We have completely different breakfasts (I have scramble, he has oatmeal with fruit), I have protein shakes while he takes a carbohydrate supplement and highcal foods before and after a run. We make dinner together but he makes a large portion of rice or something and eats huge portions while I weigh stuff out. He also eats junk food every day, but thankfully keeps that stuff at work.

bravesgirl981 · July 2014

I am in the same situation; I always try to eat before my fiance (no later than 7:30p). He works later than me so it works out that I am full before I cook dinner and not inclined to cheat and eat. I only eat TV dinners right now, but when he gets home I make more hearty meals for him. For me that works; I would suggest to try and see if it works for you.

lessbounce · July 2014

Like those above I think portions are key, if you put a lot on my fella's plate it put's him so I sneak an extra slice on meat on his sandwiches. Get full fat dairy products for him, sprinkle grated cheese on his food etc. we both brown bag our lunches so I make sure his is high cal mine is low cal. Also snacks - nuts are great, healthy and high in calories.

Chelsarrr · July 2014

I also make him breakfast or dinner on occasion and just make myself something separate. He cooks for me and just makes sure he measures everything and asks what i want (he knows i have to be in control lol).

SarErb · July 2014

My husband was cute when he first moved in with me, "A bite for you and bite for me..."

But that didn't work out too well.

The biggest help has been I switched and now use smaller plates than he, that way he doesn't feel like he's eating so much more than I do. He's a lot more active, not sure what his caloric intake is for the day, and I'm around 1200. He definitely gets bigger portions, much more carbs and meat. Since we both work, it's mostly only dinner we have to worry about, except weekends.

Obese Wife/Underweight Husband...How to deal?

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