So Very Discouraged

Manders0808 · July 2014

I have been overweight for most of my life (I am about to turn 35). My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now and I have many people telling me that if I lose weight it will help me get pregnant. I am a teacher so when school ended in the middle of June, I decided that I was going to dive in and really try to get the weight loss jump started. I've been going to the gym and logging my food. I do about an hour's worth of work at the gym 3-4 times a week (weights and cardio) and most days I am at or under my calories (I will admit to going over somedays but not by a huge amount). The results? I've gained 10 pounds in a month.

I am so discouraged. Why should I go to the gym and put in all this effort doing something I hate - despise - loathe - and detest just so I can gain weight. What is the point to it if I am just going to gain? I know that people are going to give me the whole song and dance about muscle vs. fat but I am someone who needs to see results on the scale in order to feel like this is all working and worth it. If the scale is going up, what is the point to all of it?

Sorry for ranting and whining. I am in the midst of a pity party and I just asked you all to attend.

I am sitting in my gym clothes, trying to talk myself into going and all I can see in my head is that number - 10 pounds higher than a month ago.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to get yourself jump started and going? Any tips to feeling motivated when all you want to do is be done?

Thanks for "listening" and for helping me get out of my funk.

UmmSqueaky · July 2014

Could you open your diary so we can see your logging? My actual first thought is that you're not logging accurately and are eating more than you think. Second thought is if you're much more active than you used to be is that you're retaining water weight.

Also, are you weighing yourself in the exact same conditions each time (same time of day, same clothes/lack of clothes, same scale, same location of the scale)? At the gym, I'm 5 lbs heavier than I am at home. At work, I'm 3 lbs heavier than I am at home. So I take the at home scale as the only real number.

Find an activity at the gym that you love. I only go for classes (zumba, hi low, bodypump) with teachers who motivate me. You couldn't pay me enough to run on a treadmill or use a cardio machine. And since it's summer, why not go for a bike ride? I bike 20-30 miles a day and get lots of fresh air.

mary659497 · July 2014

I would go to the doctor and have blood work done for any potential health issues that are causing you to not lose weight.

Weigh every single thing that goes into your mouth.

Move more.

Drink water

Keep trying.

schafmom · July 2014

Good morning. Well you've been working out so you must be developing muscle which would account for weight gain. Can I suggest that you take and record body measurements....I for one don't see much movement in the scale but I do however see a difference in my waist size. I saw a dietician a few weeks ago and she gave me some wonderful tips...that may also be something that you may consider doing.
Maybe you need to add some variety to your workout it may take time to find a work out that you really like....have you checked the wonderful work outs on u-tube. I discovered that I really like to power walk...so I bought a few different dvds and now power walk in the privacy of my home. You said early in your post that you and your husband were trying to get pregnant... find a cute baby picture of yourself and husband and keep them with you when you work out. It's important to remember why we want to get in shape and you have a wonderful goal to shoot for.
Deb

psuLemon · July 2014

We need information to provide you any good insight. So what is your height weight and age. Also, do you use a food scale? Can you open your diary? Do you have any medical conditions? And when was the last time you put new batteries in your scale? Because in order to gain 10 lbs of fat in 3 weeks, you would have to eat 1666 calories a day over your maintenance calories.

BTW, any chance you are pregnant? Or have any hormonal issues?

psuLemon · July 2014

It's not muscle. It's very very hard for women to gain muscle, it takes surplus of calories and progressive lifting to even come close.

caracrawford1 · July 2014

Apparently I must be an abnormal woman then, since I've always gained muscle quickly with little to no effort and have a muscular build in my family as well..(_scratches head) wonder if I'm really a man?

psuLemon · July 2014

I would question how you are measuring your muscle gains. The majority of the time, people confusion strength gains (muscle efficiency) and lowering body fat with new lean body mass growth. Essentially, getting stronger and seeing muscle definition =/= muscle gains like we would all love.

Flyers1010 · July 2014

Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up!

Remember your goals when you don't feel like putting in the effort. I can tell you that being a Mommy is a wonderful reward - one of life's greatest joys!

Even if you don't end up having children or that goal changes some day, it will be worth it in the end to be healthy and the best you that you can be!!!

It's not easy, I know, but you can do it! Keep coming to these boards for support. Good luck!!!

shabaity · July 2014

Why does everyone try to say its hard for a woman to gain muscle I've never had a problem with it though admittedly mine has never been the long lean muscle that seems to be all the rage. I've finally determined that if life was an mmo I'd be a dwarf lol. Sounds to me like it could be some water retention and some muscle added in maybe about 75-25 respectively.

caracrawford1 · July 2014

At the nutritionists office. Measured professionally. Yes, I am muscular. To the point where people ask me about my calves and legs all the time and how I got them lime that (I run marathons). Nothing to "question". It is genetics.

Amerielle · July 2014

Here is a guess from me about what might be happening. Summer vacation started and you are no longer running around at school so your activity level dropped. Then you started working out really hard for an hour so your daily activity actually dropped even more because you figure "I worked out hard so I can take it easy now". I wear a fitbit so I know I have a tendency to do the same thing...without a workout I might get 13000 steps in a busy day, but if I put in a good workout I will end up with 7000 or something because of tiredness or whatever. Also, you might be more hungry with the weight lifting.

Here is my advice for what it is worth (probably nothing). Stop going to the gym which you hate. Take a walk or something you might enjoy every day. Focus with laser beam intensity on your food which is where weight is gained or lost. That hour in the gym will not make up for what you are doing in the other 23 hours.

You don't need the gym to lose weight! You need to eat less calories. You can do it!

Petrusilly · July 2014

Nicely said.

dmpizza · July 2014

First, what does your doctor say about your fertility?

Second, please only take this as constructive criticism, the amount of workouts you listed is about what many people that work AND workout would do when they were super busy or sick or whatever. In other words, most people make more of a commitment.

You should really step up the amount of time and calories burned.

The best of luck to you and I of course hope you achieve your goal of creating a family.

jessilee119 · July 2014

I haven't read the other replies so I don't know if I'm repeating what someone already said...I apologize if I am. When I had this problem years ago I thought I was doing everything right. I figured I might be underestimating calories I was eating, but because I was logging it wasn't too far off. What I didn't realize, was that I was severely overestimating the calories burned for my exercises. I knew this could happen, but I didn't realize I was doing this. It caused me to think I was creating more of a deficit than what I really was.

Now my problem is that I'm consuming too many calories and I know I am so I have to get back on track with my eating.

Good luck to you and please don't give up...you can do this :flowerforyou:

MProost · July 2014

Don't give up - getting all that exercise is great for your health and making you stronger!! I would suggest really watching the carbs and focus on eating lean protein and lots of veggies. You'll get there - it is a journey! Good luck!!

psuLemon · July 2014

What tool was used to measure; a bioimpadence machine (hand held device), dexa scan, hydrostatic?

Branstin · July 2014

First, you have to decide if this is something you really want to do and be willing to do the require work to reach your goal. Feeling discourage comes with the territory because many of us want the weight gone like months and years ago. However, this is the here and now and many of us still have work to do. So, welcome to our world! Lol! I no longer have pity parties or feel discourage but when I used to have those, I reminded myself that feeling discourage and pity don't burn fat. Therefore, total waste of my time.
The 10 lbs. different is not muscle because gaining 10 lbs. of muscle in a month doesn't happen for men or women. There are many reasons for the gain. First, there are some medical conditions that mask or hinder weight loss. This is the reason weight loss programs suggest checking with your doctor before starting a weight loss program. Secondly, when you start exercising, your muscles retain water for repair. Next, sodium also causes the body to retain water. Third, too much food. It is far too easy to underestimate calories eaten. Fourth, TOM, bowels, and hormones will affect the rate at which your body burns fat.
If you provide your stats then the forum could give you some great advice but it's hard if we don't know all of the details that surround your situation.

Please provide your stats:
Age:
Weight:
Height:
Daily Calories Intake:
Weekly Exercise Activities:
Weekly Weight Loss Goal:
Desired Weight Loss Amount:
Health Issues If Applicable:
How are you measuring your food?
How are you measuring your calories burned?

monicapatituccijones · July 2014

The weight issues aside, see a doctor if you've been trying to get pregnant for awhile without success. Sometimes the problem is really simple to correct, and if it isn't, then losing weight alone won't help.

caracrawford1 · July 2014

Bio impedance plus hydrostatic. I don't know why it would be so hard for a man to believe that they don't have a monopoly on muscle. When you workout as much as I do couple with genetics, you do naturally gain muscle. At time of measurement I was 5'2, about 138-140, 17 percent bf. IF I watch what I eat, weight just comes off. (Of course, if I don't...we all know what happens :-) ) Solid mesomorph.

vswilliams · July 2014

Just remember that muscle weighs more than fat! Get rid of your scale and actually take a good look at your naked body--I can guarantee that you have toned up and clothes are fitting you better it is just hard to see the results when you focus on the numbers! Stay positive and have faith in your body!

Good luck and good job so far!!
xo

brenn24179 · July 2014

Something is wrong here. I went to the gym for a year and did not lose weight. But when I started logging my calories the weight came off. I do not do anything at the gym I do not enjoy. For instance I hate spin class and I don't like the machines. I do Zumba, walk the track and other classes with people. If you have a calorie deficit you should lose weight. Unless you are not measuring accurately or not counting calories.

You did points with WW, calories is about the same. So if you lost it before you should be able to again. I know it is hard, a lot of discipline but you can do it.

marvinq42 · July 2014

Hang in there and keep it up. Don't quit!

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

Aaron_K123 · July 2014

Its not sexism its just fact. Men gain muscle faster than women, this is just true. Neither gain muscle while at caloric deficit other than so-called "noob" gains at the very beginning of weight training.

Also 5'2 138 pounds and 17% bodyfat? Were you a professional bodybuilder? If you were 17% bodyfat and 138 pounds that would mean your lean mass as a 5'2 woman was 115 pounds. That is huge.

I tried to find images of a 5'2 woman with 115 pounds of lean mass and I couldn't find one. I found one of a 5'2 man who had a lean mass of 115 pounds and this is what he looked like.

A 5'2 woman with 115 pounds of lean mass and 17% bodyfat would be ripped, full six-pack and contest-level muscles.

Or the measurements were wrong.

Did find a 120 pound woman at just sub 17% bodyfat but she would have had a lean mass of 100 pounds not nearly the muscle of someone with 115 pounds of lean.

nattiegxc · July 2014

Are you on any medications? If so, that may be your problem. I was in the middle of cross country season and still gaining, even though I was getting sick after every practice and running up to 6 miles, five days a week. THen it dawned on me that the only thing that had changed was the med. I am now off of it, and am no longer gaining, but having slight difficulty losing...

Aaron_K123 · July 2014

If you gained 10 pounds that quickly it is almost certainly water weight. Not to get overly personal but did this weight gain come around your TOM? Also if you are new to weight lifting and start out you will tend to retain a significant amount of water in your muscles which will translate to an increase in your scale weight due to the water alone.

MireyGal76 · July 2014

the disbelief is not just restricted to men. I also have a hard time believing when anyone claims to just pack on the muscle.
But that said, this isn't your thread, so I don't wish to derail it any further.

If you do indeed pack it on as easily as you do, then congratulations - you are the envy of many - male AND female.

xmichaelyx · July 2014

You lose weight in the kitchen, not in the gym.

reachrenhere · July 2014

reachrenhere · July 2014

I realise that I haven't lost a lot of weight and only recently started on MFP, however, I *have* done a lot of reading/studying and listening/viewing to anecdotal evidence.

Your calories are what will change the scale. Your exercise, specifically resistance training/weight training will prevent you from losing all of your lean muscle mass while you are eating at a caloric deficit. I disagree that women don't build muscle. Obviously they do or they wouldn't tone up and have definition when they are in shape. There is a difference between having muscle weight vs fat weight than there is in BULKING like women on steroids do, which is what I hope the previous poster was referring to.

Take care and hang in there.

So Very Discouraged

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