My boyfriend just suddenly gave up on the gym....

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Diva517
Diva517 Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
I'll try to keep this short, but I truly need some advice. My boyfriend has sunken into a depression of sorts recently and after 2 years of religiously going to the gym 4-5 times a week he's suddenly decided it's not important to him anymore. I love him no matter what he looks like, but I'm concerned that he would give up the gym. I started going because he inspired me to be the best me I can be.

I have no intention of stopping my own routine but I made one comment to him about getting him back in the gym and he snapped at me. It's just not important to him anymore.

Here's my question:
Do guys go through "phases" like this when they are depressed and then just wake up one day and decide they miss the gym? I'm used to him literally putting the gym before all else and now I get told not to even bring it up.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Replies

  • Naamah
    Naamah Posts: 8
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    Something much deeper is going on. How is he eating? Is he showing other signs of depression? Is it possible he injured himself and is trying to hide it from you?
  • fitness_faeiry
    fitness_faeiry Posts: 354 Member
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    My experience is bot exactly the same but I have a boyf who is depressed and has changed in a similar way. My boyfriend used to be social and used to like 'going out' with me...like on dates night etc. but for the past 2-3 years he's never initiated a date or even suggested going out. He doesn't have a job (freelances at home) and now barely leaves the house. Now a lot of outsiders would judge this as odd, even abnormal but because I live him, I've learnt to just accept it. I often go places on my own because he wont come with me, i.e. the cinema. I have confronted him about it before and he has been a bit touchy about it and refuses to change.... He's just happy at home not going out.

    My best advice is to just carry on like normal - do your routine, and leave him to it. See what happens...
  • Diva517
    Diva517 Posts: 2
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    Thank you, both. He's not injured himself. It's personal issues that have caused him to kind of shut down I guess. I'm really hoping he decides to go back to the gym. It's been the place where he always left his frustrations. He's eating unhealthy, makes jokes about how big he's going to get. It just worries me. Maybe he will snap out of it or deal with whatever is causing it and go back to doing the things he used to do. :(
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    Sounds like it's time for a new boyfriend.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
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    Sounds like he needs a therapist more than he needs the gym right now.
    Depression can make you 1) have very low energy levels, and 2) develop a worthless attitude where putting in any effort for yourself seems pointless.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
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    Yes, I would be worried about his possible depression. This should not be about whether or not he goes to the gym.
  • TrenAbe
    TrenAbe Posts: 26
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    I love the gym but i get burned out sometimes. I make myself go though because I compete and can't miss workouts. I also see a therapist every other week because it helps me deal with anger.
    You just have to tell dude to make similar commitments and stick with it. Otherwise he will become invalid to you.

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