Weekend binged

Thanks for sharing your story. Would you be able to include a few small treats into your weekday diet so that you don't have an "all or nothing" way of eating? As someone who often used to binge eat, I know it is probably a case of needing to address the underlying reasons for comfort/binge eating before you are able to control your eating. Hope you get sorted soon.

To start with you don't eat enough!
With your stats you should be at 1800 with a moderate physical activity - more depending on how much you train.
Additionally, why are you not logging what you eat over the week end?
Eating boiled broccoli and grilled chicken or 2 fried eggs and a marmite toasty with cheese won't make any difference to your goal... it is still calories formed by macros.
Track everything you eat - it will eventually give you some self-discipline on the portions you eat!

I have learned to log everything. I just started two months ago. And lost almost 7KG. The first month I did not change my eating habits but added exercise. The second month I started to make small changes in my eating habits. Third month I lowed my calorie intake from the MFP recommended, after discussing with my doctor.

Here is the thing. I logged everything. Would be out for the day with friends and binged like you are talking about. But came home at night and logged it, and I was surprised I was not that much over my daily MFP recommendation.

But what I noticed, I was making better choices in my binges as well. And not eating as much as I thought.

when I started logging my food. I was so surprised. I learned foods that I love, are really not that bad. and some foods I thought would be healthier were way bad.

Example I like McDonalds and KFC. I was like Holy Crap the calories in 9 chicken bites. But a happy meal was only 500 calories. And the funny thing is I am satisfied with a happy meal. It is weird.

But here is the routine I went on. MFP recommended 2200 calories a day for slow weight loss based on my activity. After two months, I lowered my calories to 1800 on MFP. but made a mental range of 1800 to 2000 calories. I try to stick to the 1800. But if I go to 1860 or 1910, no big deal under 2000. But if I go over 2000 I look and evaluate what I have eaten. And how I can make a better choice the next time.

It is weird, after I few weeks, not even thinking about what I eat, I rarely go over my 2000 limit. I do go over the 1800 several times a week.

What I am trying to say, is do not be afraid to log your food, or feel bad. You make eat over you daily or weekly limit. But you are also learning from your choices. And that helps a great deal more than being so strict and hard on yourself.

The other thing I do is I only weigh myself at the end of each month. Then I do not have the little fluctuations that drive so many people mad. Because it took me years to get as heavy as I am now, 132KG. I started at near 140KG. And it is not going away over night.

Patience and faith in yourself is all you need and some love and support.

Could probably make sense in a weight watchers world...

What do you mean? I'm not following, did you think it was good or bad?
English is not my first language.

At your weight and height I would recommend a much higher daily calorie through the week. Maybe set mfp to loosing .2-.5 kilo cause you are close to your goal.
I find if I restrict to much I tend to binge and that can lead to massive weight gain and lack of motivation. Eating disorders are serious things so if you are struggling get some professional help.
As for exercise, do you have rest days? Maybe schedule in some designated rest days so you can look forward to them.

You are already at a healthy weight for your height, so for health reasons, you don't need to lose weight. A tall body like yours needs fuel, and 1200 calories a day just won't cut it, unless you are extremely sedentary. My suspicion is that your body is rebelling against such a small amount of fuel, driving you to binge on the weekends.

Now, just because you're at a healthy weight already doesn't mean you're happy with your body. You mentioned feeling "anorexic" when you weigh every day. Do you suspect you could have disordered thinking about what is healthy for you? Perhaps finding a counselor who specializes in eating disorders would help you see yourself in a healthier way? Even if you don't have an ED, this kind of exploration can be helpful.

Another thing is, if you're at a healthy weight, but you're not happy with your body shape, you could do what folks around here call "body recomp," which just means lifting weights and going through cycles of gaining and losing (gaining muscle, then losing fat) until you've sculpted the body you want. Plus weightlifting makes you stronger, which does a lot for your confidence.

Just breathe. You're doing fine, and I have confidence you'll figure out your path.

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Why do people think eating 1200 calories is a magic number or something?

1200 calories is my "magic number" because I am 55 and only 5'2". My TDEE is 1500, so it's only a 300 deficit for me. I would gather OP's BMR must be higher because she is young and 5'9" in U.S. measurements, so it might not be hers. But for some of us that is the "magic number." I've been at this limit for several months and am actually plateau'd/maintaining on it.