I don't know how to exercise!

Google is your friend.

Nerdfitness' beginner bodyweight routine.
It's simple, you can do multiple rounds of it to make your workout longer. You can add weights to it to make it harder.
It's free and h'es got a video of the whole thing on the website.

I am new to this as well. I have downloaded a stopwatch/timer app so I can better time workouts and reps. I started walking/jogging a few miles, and I'm going to be doing that M/W/F. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm going to shoot for atleast 30 minutes of strength/basics. Really all I know to do is lunges, sit-ups, push-ups, squats, and I act like I'm jump-roping (try shooting for a minute doing that-it's hell starting out. lol) I am also just browsing.other strength excersizes and am hoping with time they will become more natural to do. Hope some of that helped!

thanks.... i just find it all so confusing and frustrating.... I'm having a really bad few weeks and I know I,m feeling sorry for myself, but its days or weeks like these when your head is full of so much other stuff its like aarrhhh can someone just tell me what to do?

It looks like a few people have told you what to do already. You just have to shake off the "woe is me" attitude and do it. Pinterest has a lot of great, simple routines you can do a few times during the day and use youtube for the things you don't know how to do.
Someone could have explained to me for three hours what exactly a burpee is but i wouldn't have understood until I typed it into youtube and saw it myself.

I'd recommend keeping it very simple-- just go for walks for now. Once you've started to get some fitness, you'll feel motivated to do and try more. Losing weight and exercising can be very overwhelming initially (this can be an emotional process), and that feeling can throw you off-course and make you give up, that's why I suggest keeping it simple.

Also, you managed to spell 'exercise' correctly, so you're already up on many of us here!

Walk. Simple. Easy. None of that ewwy giggly fay feeling that jumping jacks causes. Great place to start to get the heart going and the blood flowing.

Here's a totally different take:

1. Join your local YMCA (or something like it). If it's a Y, one thing included will be a meeting with a trainer to help you set goals and get started.

2. Look at all the classes and groups they offer at your new Y. Go try them out. All of them. Keep trying, until you find two or three that you enjoy and want to go back and do more. The greatest program in the world will not work for you if you're not having fun and wanting to go back. Definitely try group cycling and some kind of group water exercise, like water aerobics. There is power in the group. I am the last person in the world to want to join groups and socialize, but I've found this is exactly what I've needed and has been a major key to my fitness improvement.

3. Set your sights on an event - for example, a Thanksgiving Day 5K - and start doing a couch to 5k program. Having an event on your calendar is a huge motivator. You'll go out and do your event and mark all the progress you have made. There is a reason these events are so popular now. Whatever your event is, go ahead and register, pay your entry fee, and mark it on your calendar.

I like this answer. If you can afford it, a trainer once per week is very helpful. He/she can show you strength workouts. Have them write them down with all the details you need to repeat it. After a few months, you will have a book of workouts to choose from. You will become more proficient and can add reps, time, weight, and change them up. Trainers can usually give you advice on the cardio side and on the nutritional side too. For a relatively small investment, I have gotten a lot of value.

I'd recommend keeping it very simple-- just go for walks for now. Once you've started to get some fitness, you'll feel motivated to do and try more. Losing weight and exercising can be very overwhelming initially (this can be an emotional process), and that feeling can throw you off-course and make you give up, that's why I suggest keeping it simple.

Also, you managed to spell 'exercise' correctly, so you're already up on many of us here!

I actually think I'm the only one who misspelled it. lol Derp moment here. P:

When I first started this journey I went to Target (Or Walmart) and bought a set of 5-lb dumbells and "Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred" DVD. It's a great full body workout thats only about 20-30 minutes long. There are 3 different levels, so you can choose which is best for you, or do each level for 10 days each, because they progress by intensity and difficulty. Oh and did I mention that the dvd is only about $9.99. It can be done at home, in your living room. Feel free to add me or message me if you have any questions. Best of luck to you.

I'll second this! It's what I'm doing now as well. I'm on Level 3 Day 3... Only 7 days to go! And I was VERY out of shape when I started.

I too struggle with the whole "what to do" mentality because the second you type "exercise" into Google you're bombarded with 10 million people telling you what to do.

I'd spent so much time on my couch eating Doritos and watching Biggest Loser and I already knew about 30 Day Shred so I decided that's where I was gonna start. I may look into some of the Biggesr Loser workout videos and Jillian's Ripped in 30 one as well since it's also cheap. I'm trying to build up my strength and stamina before I drop $120 on a beachbody program.

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could someone please please tell me a simple basic exercise routine that i should start with,
i have exercised before, swimming, walking , dance and weights but always felt like i hadn't a clue what i was doing!
i need a simple starting point, what exercise how many reps, how many hours a week, how long before i increase the intensity, which areas of my body to work??? etc
I am 250 pounds, 5ft 8

What do you have to work with?
Could you afford a couple sessions with a personal trainer? S/he could evaluate you, set you up with a program, explain how to increase the difficulty when you're ready, teach you how to use machines & free weights safely, etc.

Many gyms have trainers on staff. I use Planet Fitness, which is $10 per month, and I probably use more than that just taking showers. They have trainers who can do individual evaluations, plus they run classes which focus on training various parts of the body.

Start with walking. Pretty much everyone can do that. To make it harder, increase the speed, pick more hilly routes, do HIIT (walk 4.5 minutes, run 40 sec, gradually increase the running & decrease the walking).
Look for bodyweight workouts - pushups, planking, situps, squats, toe raises, chair dips.

If you feel awkward doing some particular exercise, research to see if you're doing it right (youtube is great), or take a class, or find a local buddy to work with.

Here's a blog post I did about exercise: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MKEgal/view/exercise-667080
It discusses both cardio & weightlifting.
Also one about goal setting (weight & calories): http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MKEgal/view/setting-goals-667045
According to the BMI chart there, you should be between 125 - 160 lb.
Since you have a lot to lose, aim for 2 lb per week at first. That's 1000 cal per day less than what you're eating now, or 1500 cal total. (Ignore net calories.) If you stay at 1500, it will eventually take you to 150 lb, which is a healthy weight for your height.

The CDC says:
"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake. However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity.
To maintain your weight: work your way up to 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, or an equivalent mix of the two each week."
(The page explains moderate & vigorous.)
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html

Exercise is a code word for getting up and moving. Going for a walk, jog, or even a run is a good place to start. That's what I've been told at least. Anything to get your heart rate elevated for a period of time, usually 30 minutes 3 times a week. That's a start. I'm by no means an expert, but I assure you that this is a good start.

Here you go. It comes with pictures and everything. http://www.startbodyweight.com/p/start-bodyweight-basic-routine.html

Alternate walking one day and body weight strength the next. I highly recommend the You Are Your Own Gym book/app. The app is $5 or something like it. But well worth it! It includes 4 progressive programs. Start with the beginner program and go from there. The program takes the guess work out because it tells you how many sets and reps and how long to rest, etc. I love it!