sneaky binge eating :(

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CupKate416
CupKate416 Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
I feel like I'm on a downward spiral!! I have previously lost 40lbs- I maintained it for a couple of years, but slowly I have gained half back. Currently I'm seeing the scale go up every week! One thing that I struggle with is binge eating. But whats worse is when no one is around, or worse even-if it's food in the employee kitchen or even church pantry! The combination of stealing food and binge eating is too much to handle! WTF is wrong with me!?? This is extremely personal- the only person that knows I have this problem is my husband, I'm embarrassed to be admitting it. My weakness is the bad stuff-donuts/cookies/chocolate. It's like I get tunnel vision and too many hands. Anyone out there with experience of this kind? Thanks

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  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Have you ever seen a counselor to get to the root of why you binge eat? It's the best thing I ever did for myself. It doesn't fix it, but if you don't know the reason WHY, it's near impossible to stop.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    this reminds me of a lady who got fired where my husband works for eating stuff at the store and not paying and they even kept her check to pay for what she ate. We have to control the food and not let it control us. I lost 40 lbs and got complacent and put back on 15 and felt terrible. I then joined MFP. It is like I don't have a full button and so I need to log.
    If it is emotional which I believe it is with me, I have had to be aware and ask myself what is going on and try to figure it out rather than eat. I tell myself I don't want to do destructive things to myself, need to take love and take care of myself, this helps.
  • Superlissaanne
    Superlissaanne Posts: 30 Member
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    I do that too a lot of the time. However my sneaky eating is after my husband falls asleep. Ive been trying to get a handle on the late night snacking, and I think its a lack of protein through the day. Carbs are addicting too. Once I have one high carb /high sugar item, I am in a frenzy for more. I just try to say no. Saying no is like flexing a muscle. The more you flex it, the stronger it becomes. Instead of thinking "I need to stop this habit forever" just say to yourself- "The next time I find myself in this situation, I will say NO" And take it one day at a time. Small, short term goals are much more effective than these big goals. "Not today" is a great way to say no without feeling like you can NEVER have cake again. It will get easier. The desire for junk food will never go away, but it definitely gets easier to control.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    I read an interesting article once about "Giving yourself permission to binge". Yes, it sounds counter-intuitive but the way I see it is if you give yourself permission, like actually say to yourself "Yes, it's okay if I let myself binge today or tonight", something about giving yourself that permission takes the power away from the urge. It removes the guilt, it removes the dread that builds up each day, it removes the obsessing about it, it removes the anticipation of a binge coming on and most importantly it gives you the power to say "I have permission to binge but I'll wait a half hour or so and then I'll do it". Then that time goes by and you forgot you wanted too in the first place. Just keep putting it off and off... Maybe something like that would work with you.

    I also agree with the others that you need to find out "why" you are binging. Are you eating enough throughout the day? I went no carbohydrates for a little while and my cravings for sweets were unbearable. I found that if I had just one little taste, the entire (whatever it was) was as good as gone. Now I do very low carbohydrate (except for today because eh, **** happens), and I don't have the cravings and I can also just have a taste without going crazy.

    The extra protein during the day works and a lot of veggies too... the fiber is really filling. Although as far as I know, a binge has little to do with how hungry or full a person is.

    Good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or not, I am into calorie restriction and will go days at a time with a negative or extremely low net calorie intake and then I'll pick one day and just eat whatever I want. Not binge mode I don't think but way more than I normally would. This seems to work for me as I don't feel deprived

    Last... if you look at my stats you'll see that I have a huge calorie burn daily. I work my *kitten* off to be healthy, fit and thin and I'll just be damned if I am going to put something into my body that is counter-productive to my hard work.

    I hope this helps.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
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    I haven't been on this journey long enough to know if I've beaten my binges but the logging is really helping me. Log everything, even binges. If you can't log it, you can't have it.

    I lied to myself for years. I ate very little on a regular basis but when I got into the pastries, I would eat 2 months worth of calories. I couldn't understand that binging like that 2 times a week would put on so much weight when I didn't eat much in between.

    Now I know I have an AND problem. I can't have and this and that and something else. Having to log 5 or 6 pastries at 600 calories a piece hurts, but it puts things in perspective.
  • csk0018
    csk0018 Posts: 219 Member
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    I'm not sure what your eating regimen was when you lost the 40 pounds but were you incorporating those foods in your everyday diet or did you quit eating them cold turkey? Do you think it may help if you budget some of your daily intake to a cookie or a donut or a sweet treat? That has helped me a lot. I usually have something sweet everyday but still stay within my calories. I wish you the best.
  • vha2
    vha2 Posts: 64 Member
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    You must have an awesome job/church if they have cookies and donuts stashed in their cupboards!! Would never get that at my work (maybe that's a good thing...). These might all be suggestions you've already tried or considered, but...

    1. Create your own stash of food that's less bad for you but that you'd still consider a treat. Maybe dark chocolate, a really tasty muesli bar, dried fruit, nuts, a takeaway coffee with a shot of hazelnut or vanilla, or make your own healthier versions of treat foods at home and take them with you (my friend swears by www.chocolatecoveredkatie.com).

    2. Stop carrying cash or coins - it's too tempting to spend at vending machines and too easy to hand over at a store.

    3. Have a cheat day every week so you can get your cravings in but still keep on track. I've heard of a few people on here eating low cals Mon-Fri (12-1500) then 2000 Saturday/Sunday and still seeing results.

    4. Make sure you eat plenty of healthy foods during the day to fill you up.

    5. Stop buying treats at the supermarket so you don't have them in the house at all.

    6. Figure out what is giving you the most pleasure out of these 'episodes' - is it the texture of the treat, like a soft donut or piece of cake? Is it the taste - chocolate, cinnamon, berries or nuttiness? Or is it the adrenaline of taking food that's not yours without getting caught - then eating it is the reward? Once you know what's driving you, you can start working out an alternative.
  • CupKate416
    CupKate416 Posts: 2
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    Thank you everyone for your responses. It really helps to feel like I'm not the only one with this sort of struggle.

    I believe the source of my downward spiral is emotional. I lost my amazing job over a year ago and have been feeling stuck in my new job. Also, I used to be very active in my old job (I was kind of like a park ranger) but my job now is a desk job and I'm feeling trapped because I am not passionate about what I am doing, the salary is great and we've gotten used to it-making a switch to a more satisfying job more difficult, and now I have to try to fit exercise into my day where as before I was lifting and running and hiking for miles as part of my job.

    Binges aren't a frequent problem- it's the stealing food part that makes the situation uncontrollable. I haven't even admitted this to my husband, but I shop lifted quite a few times in my youth. It's the same feeling and the stale donuts were a reward in some F***d up way I guess.

    My normal eating isn't all that bad- I like veggies and I cook with lowfat substitutions. I don't drink soda (regular or diet), I think I need to start tightening up on my portion sizes and control my sweet tooth better. It's the binges that scare me because I feel out of control in those moments. At least with the other parts of my diet I may make a bad decision-but I still feel like it was my own decision.

    Thanks for listening!
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    It sounds as if you are stealing to momentarily exercise control because your perception is one of powerlessness. Also the stealing may be a response to feeling like you are in an unfair, personally meaningful loss (job). It appears that for you it's a control thing and you choose food because you know you can control it. Have you ever spoken to a professional about it?
  • Smpo1979
    Smpo1979 Posts: 13 Member
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    I know I'm late to this party, but I just wanted to say (in case you were worried or wondering)...You are SO not alone in this. I'm here to deal with my binge eating. I've fought it since I was 10 years old, but this latest episode...since my daughter was born over a year ago...has been the worst. I won't go into the embarrassing, shameful things I've done when I've been out of control mid-binge, but it's not pretty.

    And now I'm wearing it.

    I'm here to journal, log food, be inspired by others, and practice mindfulness...something that's new to me. If that doesn't work, I'll be making an appointment with a counselor. I'm 35...it's time for me to get control of this.

    I just wanted to let you know you're not alone....best of luck to you. :)
  • rubyred138
    rubyred138 Posts: 22 Member
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    logging my foods helps me notice when i'm eating too much during certain meals- may need to switch snacks or schedule a snack at certain times to avoid binging later on. it also helps open my eyes as to how many calories are in something. for example, a drumstick ice cream has 310 calories... then i think about how much i'd have to exercise just to counter that many calories and its not worth it. also as someone else said, therapy can help address the feelings you associate with food.
  • Sore2dayStrong2morrow
    Sore2dayStrong2morrow Posts: 21 Member
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    I know how you feel. Desserts are my worst enemy. I do really well and then I crash last minute with the goodies. But you're very right, logging even the binge things does put things into perspective and helps you stay accountable.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    You are not alone with your struggle to not let food control you. I'm currently in a binge cycle and am so ashamed. I engineer situations, ie volunteer to go to the supermarket if we've run out of something, just so I can buy sweets and then eat them on the way home and hide the evidence. I hate it when the kids come with me cause I can't eat in private. This morning I got petrol on the way to school/work and bought 3 chocolate bars. I fought with myself all the way to school about whether I'd share one bag of sweets with the kids - which I did. Then I ate the other bag when I got to work. OMG!!!! What's wrong with me.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    ooops.... double posting

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