Discriminated against as a Vegetarian?

Angelface28
Angelface28 Posts: 23 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
I've been a vegetarian for 2 years now and it was the best decision I've ever made. Even though I am really passionate about it, I truly try not to judge others for their dietary choices. What shocks me, is how easily and nonchalantly they judge me. Comments such as:

Vegetarians aren't people
You have no tastebuds
Can you just not be a vegetarian for today?
I like animals too, they taste good (it takes all of my willpower not to punch them in the face)
Making mooing noises, or even making up a story about the life of the animal as they eat it.
and the list goes on and on...

I was even accused of being anorexic on the sole basis that I was a vegetarian! I'm not underweight nor malnourished, but I am the "right age" and I am a "so called vegetarian." It really upsets me because not only is my choice better for me but it's also better for the environment.

The comments usually come from friends of friends, or even strangers, the worst part is I dont even start the conversation, they just hear me ask if there is chicken broth in something or I tell them why I dont want to split an order of wings with them. No one else seems to think it's a big deal, but it really hurts me and makes me dislike not only the people who say it, but my friends who like them.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how they deal with this? Or even comments that you've heard.
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Replies

  • MirandaJayne
    MirandaJayne Posts: 600 Member
    When I was 16 I decided to stop eating meat. My family was NOT supportive, which I think is directly related to their lack of understanding as to why I made the decision. Which can be a difficult thing when you are 16. My brothers made animal sounds at the dinner table, my dad came up with his own ideas as to what I could and couln't eat (I ate cheese and eggs, he howevere decided I couldn't drink cows milk and bought me vanilla soy milk - which at the time I hated! he told me I couldn't drink milk anymore), and my mom would say dinner is ready to everyone, and I'd ask what was for dinner, she'd answer back with porkchop, potatoes and carrots (whcih was all cooked together), and I would ask her what I was going to eat. She replied with I don't know. So I would go and make myself a sandwich with whatever I could find.

    This over time changed and they just grew to accept it. A lot of my friends were not supportive or udnerstanding either. They would always 'forget'. Take the time I went over for dinner to my best friends at the time. They had steak and her step dad brought me a plate of steak with potatoes covered in gravy. Ummm..

    In all truthfulness you have just learnd first hadn that people are ignorant. I can tell you with no uncertain terms that those people who are rude and riducule you for being a veggitarian are doing the same to someone else about anything they think is funny (ethnicity, gender or religion).

    People are ignorant.

    Realize that and don't think twice about them. If they were people who cared or love you they wouldn't be saying those things.

    You have to irgnor them you have to block them out otherwise you will just grow more and more frustrated and you will lash out and is it really going to be woth the consequences?
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
    I have been a vegetarian for 16 years and I have heard it all. It is hard to deal with the snide and stupid comments. People still make them but at this stage in my life, I just ignore them. Personally, ignoring the comments are the easiest or laugh with them. If you try to explain to them why you are a vegetarian, it just leads to more snide comments or comments such as "plants feel pain too."

    Don't take their comments personally. It is just they don't understand. Most people will make rude comments because they don't understand what means to be a vegetarian or how you view animals. They may think that it is just a phase and you just need the right motivation to eat meat again.

    My friends understand why I am a vegetarian and actually try to make concessions as to where we should go to eat. They make sure there are options for me when dining out. They understand that I am not going to eat meat anytime soon.

    Like I said, just ignore them. They aren't worth getting upset over and hating. You love yourself and you don't want to eat meat. It is no one's business why you don't want to eat meat. You could make some comebacks about how people who eat red meat have a higher percentage of having cancer or a heart attack. You could do some research and throw it in their faces. Personally, just ignore it. They are small minded people.
  • rosy54
    rosy54 Posts: 46
    Apologies for this duplicate post ~ please see below.
  • I was a vegetarian for 10 years, a vegan for 22 months in that time, I heard it all! People make comments when something is different, it is just human nature. I wouldn't let it bother you. People always tried to get me to eat meat and I refused, but people just didn't get it.
    I did decide to start eating meat again almost 3 years ago. I have never felt better to be honest w/ you, my body needed it for some reason. I really never thought I would ever eat it again, but I am glad I did. Obviously this is not how you feel and that is what makes the world go around, we are all different!:)
    Just forget what people say, don't pressure them to eat better in return....when you ask if it is made w/ chicken broth next time, and someone makes a comment, just laugh it off. They wouldn't make fun of someone asking if there was dairy in it if they were lactose intolerant:)
  • rosy54
    rosy54 Posts: 46
    "Isn't it great that we live in a country where we can make our own choices without fear of ridicule from those that don't understand?" would be an appropriate comment, but I know it's difficult for you. Most people have a problem with things they don't understand and rather than be open-minded enough to be curious, they choose to vote it down. Be tough ~ if the comments get too bad, you can always graciously excuse yourself, thank everyone for the evening, and leave. They'll soon get the hint.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Don't me started. I've been a vegetarian my entire life (25 years) and was a vegan for a number of years. Earlier today I responded to a post about protein powders and got flamed for suggesting soy protein isolate...and whey as an alternative. I'm often attacked even here on the boards because of my lifestyle. Oh well...I can't change someones opinion of my lifestyle nor would I want to (it's their decision).
    That being said...it gets easier the longer you are a veg...people that you're close to finally come to accept you for who you are. There are still jokes around the holidays about turkey and roasts and that type stuff but no one moo's at me anymore.
    Feel free to friend me (1/2 my friends list are people who are vegetarian or vegan).
  • hill242
    hill242 Posts: 412 Member
    People can be insensitive jerks. Both in real life and on the Internet. I think the advice given already is pretty sound. Don't let these rude comments get to you! I think vegetarians are becoming more and more common, and accepted, at least in my opinion.
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,267 Member
    This is kind of a funny story...I have been a vegetarian on and off my whole life, both my parents are vegetarian, and several of my sisters are vegetarian and there is one vegan plus there are meateaters . Thanksgiving was held at my house this past year and we had THREE different versions of turkey. A real turkey, a turkey loaf made of soy product, and a tofurkey! It was fun, yes there was teasing all the way around. You just have to be comfortable with the lifestyle you choose and let the comments roll of your back.
  • Angelface28
    Angelface28 Posts: 23 Member
    Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I'll definately try to just ignore it. As much as I would like to throw statistics in their face or tell them what a jerk their being, it really would be a waste of breath. I know that I'm doing the right thing, so I guess it really doesn't matter what they say. It really did help to hear all of your stories, so thanks again. :smile:
  • Unfortunately people can be very judgemental on both sides of this issue. I am a meat eater and have had negative comments made toward me by vegetarians. One that really irritates me is that I am eating rotting flesh. The truth I just ignore them. I feel we all have free will and can choose what is right for our own lives and we have no right pushing our views on others. Just live your life and be as healthy as you can be, that is really all that matters. Truthfully arguing with them probably won't do any good. If they like eating meat then they will just argue right back and believe me no one will win.
  • electricgypsy
    electricgypsy Posts: 32 Member
    Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I'll definately try to just ignore it. As much as I would like to throw statistics in their face or tell them what a jerk their being, it really would be a waste of breath. I know that I'm doing the right thing, so I guess it really doesn't matter what they say. It really did help to hear all of your stories, so thanks again. :smile:

    statistics are just numbers in need of interpretation which always causes trouble!!! ignoring people is hard but its the best way. i've been a vegetarian for years now and i get tired of the same conversations about it so i dont have them. as long as you're happy it doesn't matter what others think.
  • jennylynn84
    jennylynn84 Posts: 659
    Just know that not everyone is like that and ignore them. One of my best friends is vegetarian and she got it a lot from her boyfriends roommates, making fun of her in every way imaginable. But I didn't find it mattered that much. She and I shared many a chinese takeout container of shrimp fried rice (she ate seafood), salads, and I made sure to have veggie items at my wedding she was in. She's really the only veg I regularly hang with, but it still was not difficult to make these adjustments. Anyone who really cares about you will do it gladly to help you be comfortable and happy so you can enjoy each other's company.

    She even got me started on MorningStar Farms, and even though I'm a meat-eater I LOVE their stuff.

    At the same time, there are a lot of veg/vegans who are adamant about wanting to convert everyone. I am certainly not accusing anyone on here. I get most annoyed by it from celebrities who get on tv and make blanket statements about how everyone would be healthier if we all ate vegan. *sigh* Can't we just let everyone make personal choices like this on their own? Why is only ONE way supposedly right?

    Its unfortunate, but the best thing I can say is to not let them get to you, because they're probably not the kind of people who's good approval you want anyway.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    I support my friends who chose that lifestyle. You have to let me know, and I will do everything in my power to help them to keep up with their eating habbits. I love to cook for my friends, and I used to have a friend in NC who was vegatarian, so I ALWAYS made her something similer to what I fed everyone else, but made it meat free. It wasn't a big deal and she apperciated the gesture. If my step daughter someday decided to be a vegatarian, I would support her too.
    There is no reason to mistreat someone over their eating choices!!!
  • amber42274
    amber42274 Posts: 5 Member
    The best way to deal with the discrimination is to do the research and have information and websites available no matter your reasons for being vegatarian. The more you know the more someone can learn from you. I have found that people are more impressed when there is a evidence that a vegatarian diet is healthier and can literally change the world because the resources used.

    Tell them if they truly want to go green this is the wayto go.

    The biggest comment I hear is that they don't think they can give up the taste of meat. While the exact taste may be hard to get to an exact science, I personally think there are plenty of alternatives that come close. The more often you use these alternatives, the more you become use to the taste.
    Maybe encouraging them to try some options you like and increasing vegatarian meals and days could help them see you care about their diet.
    That has worked for me. Sometimes people say things out of guilt so help them out and encourage them to make changes!
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    I've been discriminated against BY vegetarians because some think it is cruel of me to eat an animal...but I just ignore them.

    People are different in so many ways and the ignorant ones have to poke fun for no good reason. You know who you are and it doesn't make one bit of difference what THEY think you are. Just ignore it cause in the end their comments don't matter.

    I won't become a vegetarian and it would be nice for some of the judgmental ones to leave me alone...in the same way that I am sure you won't eat meat and it would be nice for some of the meat eaters to leave you alone. In a perfect world, this would happen. In THIS world, just keep strong with who you are and move on.
  • guardup
    guardup Posts: 230
    I think there is plenty of judgment on both sides of the matter. I get it from both the vegetarians AND the meat eaters. This is because our daughters have worked on the farm where the animals are raised that we will eat. They feed and care for the animals, name them, play with them, and make sure they are given attention. The animals are all free range, non-hormone and low stress.

    Then, when a few years ago, I asked them to participate in a butchery session. They knew that the animals they cared for were the ones they ate (we even say thanks to the animal by name at dinner time). Both kids decided to attend the butchery (done by the farmers) and watched the animals die and assisted in cleaning up after. I asked them (did not force them) to do this so that they would never forget the price the animal paid for their meal.

    I half expected the girls to become vegetarian after that. However, even as they shed tears for the animals, they promised they would never waste meat.

    When I told some meat eating parents about this, a few were horrified that I would expose my kids to such violence. Some vegetarians thought that I was just making the slaughter of animals "acceptable" to my kids.

    The way I see it, we are omnivores. We choose to eat meat. But our family will always know where that meat came from and make sure that the animals are treated with respect.
  • My family have no problem with me being a vegetarian, but it is really tedious whenever I meet someone new and the second I say "I'm a vegetarian" or "I don't eat meat" 99% of the time whomever I'm talking to will respond "but humans are supposed to eat meat! It's natural" in a really defensive tone, when I haven't actually stated otherwise! I think people have a skewered view of vegetarianism and immediately go into fight mode, preparing themselves for an onslaught of judgmental insults when someone tells them they don't eat meat. I've been vegetarian for eight years now, although it took me a few years to identify as one because I simply stopped eating animal produce. It just didn't taste good to me; I couldn't separate the animal on the farm from the carcass on my plate and I lost all interest. I constantly get asked whether I miss meat, or if I could ever see myself eating meat again but the only thing about being a vegetarian is the convenience of being able to go into a restaurant and not scrutinize the menu. Eating out isn't as enjoyable as it was when I ate meat; there's only so may Mediterranean vegetables and portobello mushrooms you can eat!

    I just wish it didn't matter so much to other people. I don't understand why anyone feels the need to have an opinion on what I do or don't eat.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Does anyone have any suggestions of how they deal with this? Or even comments that you've heard.

    Ignore them. I wouldn't care what anyone else had to say. My friends would never make comments like that. If so, they are not friends and I would stop hanging around with them. As for what a stranger has to say -- I wouldn't waste a moments time considering their opinion.

    Personally, I love meat, but, if you come over, I'll make sure to grill up something vegan for you. As long as my Bourbon and Cigars are okay with your lifestyle, I'll keep a zuchinni on the barbie for ya.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    I fully respect people's decisions to be vegan...I reserve the right to tease them though. Hidewall.gif
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    I have been surrounded by on and off vegitarians and truly strict vegitarians. I am a meat eater. I have always tried to be tolerant and understanding. If I host something at my house I try to make something I know my guests and family will enjoy. My son had a freind over the other night. She is a vegitarian and I wanted lemon chicken tenders so I threw in a peice of salmon for her.

    The next time some rude person comments to you especially a stranger tell them "it is better to be a vegetarian than a just plain rude person" and walk/turn away.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    I fully respect people's decisions to be vegan...I reserve the right to tease them though. Hidewall.gif

    Yeah, you're right. My best of friends, the guys I ride with, would "tease" me. If "tease me" means give me crap. But, they earned the right.
  • modernfemme
    modernfemme Posts: 454 Member
    Vegetarian for almost a year now. I've had my screw ups, but for the most part, everyone in my life knows i'm vegetarian and no one makes fun of me except my dad - but it's only in jest and I know he actually thinks it's cool. My husband's grandmother thinks I'm an alien from out of space though - but she always goes out of her way to prepare me something.

    Maybe I'm not very sensitive about it, but people teasing me about not eating meat don't hurt my feelings.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    I think there is plenty of judgment on both sides of the matter. I get it from both the vegetarians AND the meat eaters. This is because our daughters have worked on the farm where the animals are raised that we will eat. They feed and care for the animals, name them, play with them, and make sure they are given attention. The animals are all free range, non-hormone and low stress.

    Then, when a few years ago, I asked them to participate in a butchery session. They knew that the animals they cared for were the ones they ate (we even say thanks to the animal by name at dinner time). Both kids decided to attend the butchery (done by the farmers) and watched the animals die and assisted in cleaning up after. I asked them (did not force them) to do this so that they would never forget the price the animal paid for their meal.

    I half expected the girls to become vegetarian after that. However, even as they shed tears for the animals, they promised they would never waste meat.

    When I told some meat eating parents about this, a few were horrified that I would expose my kids to such violence. Some vegetarians thought that I was just making the slaughter of animals "acceptable" to my kids.

    The way I see it, we are omnivores. We choose to eat meat. But our family will always know where that meat came from and make sure that the animals are treated with respect.

    I love this! While I do not agree with eating meat....I don't flame others who do. My daughter is an omnivore and it is her choice to make, not mine. I live in the deep south....I'm friends with many hunters and I know they use all parts of the deer once they 'bring it down'. I would prefer a person hunt and kill and eat everything they can from an animal than to waste it or just hunt for sport. I believe that if more people would attend a slaughter or hunt....they would truly appriciate where their food comes from.
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    Wow, where on earth are you from that is so backwards minded? I can't believe people say such things.

    Vegetarianism alone is the new going green so people should at least accept it as a popular and green fad if nothing else (*I am NOT saying these are your reasons but it has gained popularity/exposure so it shouldn't be a shock to anyone anymore.)

    The best you can do is ignore them, especially the most idiotic comments like "mooooo" there is no response for something that low.

    I am not a vegetarian but have no problem with others who are. That being said I do NOT ask why. I fear the lecture that will follow regarding animal cruelty, how environmentally un-friendly breeding is in addition to chemicals and diseases in the slaughter process. I plead ignorance-is-bliss on that one ;)

    My only beef (ha ha, pardon my pun) is people who claim to be vegetarian but they eat fish. Then they are a pescetarian NOT a vegetarian. A fish had parents, it was alive, bread, ate and lived therefore who is to judge the level of cruelty that is acceptable based on the animal type.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    Please are just plain ignorant. That fact does not shock me, but what shocks me is how willingly they are to open their mouths and prove it. I am not a vegetarian(although I rarely eat meat), but I have married to man who has been a vegetarian for 13 years. And people says stupid stuff to me ALL THE TIME. My favorite comment is: "I could never marry/date a someone who did not eat meat". What an odd comment to make about my husband.

    Anyway, just ignore them and think about all the meat backing up their colons.
  • lexicalabrese
    lexicalabrese Posts: 200 Member
    My mom is a vegetarian, and I tend to make fun of her for it. It's all in good fun, but I support her decision and she looks great, so who the heck cares!

    I am not a vegetarian, but I will often go out to dinner and decide that I am just in the mood for a veggie burger (I think they often taste better and don't sit as heavily in my stomach as a beef burger) and my sister in law is constantly making comments. She's not joking, and I'm not even a vegetarian and it annoys ME, so I know how you feel :)
  • I totally understand. My family is a very meat-centric family and when I decided to stop eating meat it was a really big deal! Even now I have family members that say, "Awww, she doesn't eat meat" at family functions, as if I'm the one whose missing out on something!
    You don't have to justify anything; it is your choice and a great one at that! :smile:
  • hotpickles
    hotpickles Posts: 639 Member
    To me, it's just like teasing someone who bought a blue car instead of a red car. It's a personal choice!

    I'm personally trying to eat less meat. I made a vegetarian salad for a get-together and somebody commented on it, how they would love to have the recipe to pass on to a vegetarian friend. I must say, ever since I've cut back on the meat, I've come across some pretty tasty recipes!
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    Vegetarians aren't people
    You have no tastebuds
    Can you just not be a vegetarian for today?
    I like animals too, they taste good (it takes all of my willpower not to punch them in the face)
    Making mooing noises, or even making up a story about the life of the animal as they eat it.
    and the list goes on and on...

    Too Funny. I know your serious but:

    I am a meat eater and one of my friends is a Vegan, we exchanged barbs all the time. He gave as good as he got.

    I was having eggs in front of him one day and he laid this on me:

    "So how are you enjoying that chicken menstruation?" I laughed to tears.

    I say to each their own. If you and I were having a meal together (and we were acquainted) I might trade some harmless barbs with you as well.
  • i am sure the comments are just as frequent (if not more) as when you tell them you are muslim or jewish and dont eat pork. ... Immediately i hear stories about bacon and ham and all sorts of crazy *kitten*. ... I am not a big meat eater (more now that i have been trying to up my protein intake) so i can sort of relate to the vegetarian backlash as well!

    Just stay true to what you believe in and let comments roll right off your back :)
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