feeling really guilty

melindabrock
melindabrock Posts: 91 Member
in Motivation and Support
I would really like to start dropping my son off at daycare a little earlier so I can fit in some gym time at my work. We have a free gym on our lower level. Problem is... I only get about 3 hours with him in the evenings as it is currently. I pick him up at 6pm and he goes to bed at 930. I feel so guilty for wanting to go to the gym. I feel like Im a horrible mom for leaving him at daycare for almost 12 hours :( Anyone else have this problem or know what I should do? I know I can work out at home but Id like to use the elliptical and weights...

Replies

  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
    Do it, long term it's better for your child.
    You don't have to do it 5 days a week - but start fitting the extra time in.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I have two kids and feel the same way. That's why I workout on my lunch hour. Usually gives me 30-45 minutes to lift weights or do cardio, but it leaves me guilt free. I think an extra 30 minutes early in the morning wouldn't be bad. You may beat rush hour traffic and have even more time than that. You do have to take care of yourself too.
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,007 Member
    What about going to the gym 2 or 3 days a week. Its better than not going at all. Maybe after he goes to bed you can prepare part of the next night meal so you can spend more quality time with your son in the evenings when you are home.
  • ErisDyscordia
    ErisDyscordia Posts: 50 Member
    How old is your child?

    I was in day care as a kid, and overall I think it was a great experience. Obviously spending time with your kid is important, but your health is very important too...especially to be able to spent quality time with him as you both get older. I am sure he enjoys day care (other kids, lots of different toys, educational to some extent), so he is not going to be hurt by spending an extra hour there a few days a week.

    You being healthy throughout his life, and being in good enough shape to really take part in things with him is much more valuable than an hour here and there in the long run.
  • kellyj0729
    kellyj0729 Posts: 44 Member
    I think as mothers we always feel guilty about something. Exercise is important to our mental and physical well-being and I don't think you should feel any guilt whatsoever. I feel guilty about being gone working a 12-hour shift, having a date night, having to miss school activities at times. We aren't always going to feel like a "perfect" mom (I rarely ever do!) but we can't beat ourselves up over working in exercise time. Good luck!
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Like another user said, you have to take care of yourself also.

    Start off by going to the gym 2-3 days a week instead of all 5. Once you warm up to the idea of having your son in daycare for 12 hours, go for 5 if you'd like. Trust me, the kids love being at daycare (of course they love being with their parents too) and playing with other peers. I worked in a daycare for 2 years and had plenty of children who were there for 12 hour days… and I'm talking YOUNG children (typically 4 months-2 years).
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
    Can you not go during your lunch break? I sympathise with both you and your child. Your health is important, but having such little time together as it is it seems kind of heartbreaking to make it even less.
  • enzosmama
    enzosmama Posts: 134 Member
    I understand where you're coming from, but I say do it. Even if it's two days a week. I have a 2.5 year old and he's in daycare 4 days/week and with my parents Thurs night thru Sat morning. So in the evenings when I get home (close to 6) I usually get 90 minutes to 2 hours with him before he's in bed. And that's on the nights that I put him to bed vs. nights where I leave early for barre class and someone else puts him to bed. Then I get part of Saturday and all Sunday with him.

    Does your gym have babysitting or child watch? Mine does, and he has fun for the hour he's there once or twice a week when I go after work.

    Daycare is not torture for them- we do feel guilty as moms for being away from them for so long, but daycare is generally super fun for them!
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    Maybe you don't need to drop him off early every day, but 2-3 times a week? You can do exercise videos at home, walk or your child in the stroller, on the other days. Or you could work out at lunch so you don't have to take away any time from your son.

    It is always a balancing act to take care of yourself and spend enough time with your children when you are working. Both my sons were in daycare and they turned out great! I did make sure I chose jobs that gave me flexibility, which helped a lot. I also got a treadmill and weights so I could run at home. When we moved and I couldn't take my treadmill, I joined the Y got up at 5:00 a.m. to work out before they even woke up and would be back by the time they did.

    Just be flexible and creative. You don't necessarily have to work out at your office gym if it doesn't work with your schedule. Try a bunch of things and don't be afraid to mix and match. There is no reason to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. It models healthy behavior for your children and helps you feel better in general which will only help you as a parent!
  • melindabrock
    melindabrock Posts: 91 Member
    I should have added he is almost 7 months. I guess I hate missing these fun times right now. Thank you all for the posts. I do want to do this so I can be fit long term for him. I think I will do it just three times a week for now. I think I can handle that. Im sure he doesn't care its probably just in my mind :)
  • MissMamaAndrea
    MissMamaAndrea Posts: 99 Member
    I should have added he is almost 7 months. I guess I hate missing these fun times right now. Thank you all for the posts. I do want to do this so I can be fit long term for him. I think I will do it just three times a week for now. I think I can handle that. Im sure he doesn't care its probably just in my mind :)



    It's totally a mom thing. just earlier today I was feeling guilty for letting my little guy hang out in his pack and play right by me so i could jump on my elliptical for a half hour. Then after i tuned on music he started dancing and the guilt was gone. I guess if they are having fun it makes it a little easier on our hearts :heart: :happy:
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    If you live in a safe place to run (not much traffic and/or sidewalks) you could always get one of those running strollers and take him out in the morning or evening. My sister in law did that with both her kids, they loved it, she loved it.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    Agree with everyone, go 2-3 days a week. :smile:
  • NikiaSue
    NikiaSue Posts: 259 Member
    ^^ This
  • focusedonfitness2015
    focusedonfitness2015 Posts: 240 Member
    We all feel guilty about this. I have 3 kids 17, 15 and 6. A little daycare does/did them good. I honestly believe I am a better mom for being away from them for a few hours a day. Its balance. You need time for yourself otherwise you will be kicking yourself later. Kids have no concept of time so dropping him off a little early a few days a week wont hurt him. Give him quality time with you and he will be fine. And dont beat yourself up
  • nicailyzee
    nicailyzee Posts: 183 Member
    This is something we all feel as moms. I used to feel guilty when I was working long hours. Now I am able to be a stay at home mom I still feel guilty for leaving them to go anywhere. It is just built in us that feeling of missing something and not being a part of their every moment. My kids are 9,6, and 2. I still feel guilt. It won't go away but what you can do is say this is for my health he is going to benefit from me being happier stronger and more focused when I do have those full days with him. You have the ability to change your life in the gym or just exercising. DO IT!

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