13,000 calories in the past three days

uglyclub
uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been struggling a lot with binge eating ever since I attempted recovery for anorexia. I used to have massive binges one to two times a WEEK every week. But for the past few months, I've been working so hard to stop restricting and to stop binge eating and I was doing pretty well. I only had one slip up during a buffet, where I ended up eating around 7000 calories.

But I'd not binged in weeks after that, until three days ago. On Wednesday, I had the worst binging urge ever. I couldn't control myself. My body was trembling, my chest felt tight and I couldn't stop crying because the urge was so strong. It was nighttime, so I managed to stop myself at 2500 calories and go to bed. But the urges were still there, I couldn't even sleep that night.

Yesterday, I had around 4700 calories. Today, I'm not sure, probably around 5000 too.

I'm beginning to lose hope. I'm probably going to gain so much of weight from this week's binges. I'm terrified of stepping out of my house now. I don't know how to recover from this. Does anyone know what to do?

I've never had such horribly strong binge urges before. I have never cried so much from RESISTING a binge... it's crazy.

I'm a 19 year old girl, by the way. My BMI was around 18.8 before the binge. It's definitely much much higher now, though.

Replies

  • AvonBell
    AvonBell Posts: 107 Member
    Do you have someone to talk to? Try to reach out to a doctor who can refer you to a dietician. These people are trained to help in exactly these kinds of cases.
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
    Do you have someone to talk to? Try to reach out to a doctor who can refer you to a dietician. These people are trained to help in exactly these kinds of cases.

    ^^^^ This

    And don't worry about the binges, it sounds as though your body could do with the fuel. You're probably feeling a little bloated right now, but talking to someone about all this will help. :flowerforyou:
  • lemonsnowdrop
    lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
    Have you been heavily restricting your diet? It sounds like you need to speak with a professional about your ED. Good luck.
  • fiercekindness
    fiercekindness Posts: 31 Member
    I strongly recommended talking with a health professional. I understand your pain, binging can feel very scary. You are not alone in your struggle. I struggle with it as well. And it's best to seek professional support, people on here can encourage you. However binging/eating disorders are very serious and require a different kind of attention-support. Hang in there.
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
    Do you have someone to talk to? Try to reach out to a doctor who can refer you to a dietician. These people are trained to help in exactly these kinds of cases.

    I am seeing a dietician AND a therapist. I admit, I've not exactly been following my meal plan of 2000 calories, mainly because the more I eat, the more likely I am to binge.

    My therapist taught me several techniques on fighting binge urges, but my urges are too strong, I can't even control my thoughts long enough to do some "breathing exercises". Distracting myself makes the urges worse. Nothing I do works. I've never been so scared of myself.

    The funny thing is, I'd never binged prior to developing anorexia - a RESTRICTIVE eating disorder. Dang.
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
    Have you been heavily restricting your diet? It sounds like you need to speak with a professional about your ED. Good luck.

    I admit, I have. But not for weight loss reasons. I find that the more I eat, the more I want to eat - hence, triggering a binge. I've heard that upping my calories might help stop the binges, but I don't trust myself enough to actually try it. What if I never stop binging?

    There aren't many mental health professionals where I live, and out of the few, I only know two who specialize in eating disorders. One of them, I am currently seeing. But her binge-prevention techniques mainly consist of "sitting through invasive thoughts" and "breathing exercises". And my binge urges are way too strong for me to even think about breathing. And every time I tell her, she gives me the same advice. I don't think she knows how to help me. :-(
  • AvonBell
    AvonBell Posts: 107 Member
    Have you shared these sentiments with your health team? Have they recommended coping strategies?
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
    Have you shared these sentiments with your health team? Have they recommended coping strategies?

    I have and unfortunately, every time I do, I get told the same things. "Sit through your thoughts", "ride the wave", and "eat more". I did try eating more and it seemed to work for a while, but then I ended up binging after two weeks on 1600-1800 calories. So I panicked and lowered my intake again, because if eating more wasn't going to help, what's the use?
  • AvonBell
    AvonBell Posts: 107 Member
    How many calories do you figure you should be eating every day?
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 862 Member
    Have you shared these sentiments with your health team? Have they recommended coping strategies?

    I have and unfortunately, every time I do, I get told the same things. "Sit through your thoughts", "ride the wave", and "eat more". I did try eating more and it seemed to work for a while, but then I ended up binging after two weeks on 1600-1800 calories. So I panicked and lowered my intake again, because if eating more wasn't going to help, what's the use?
    I eat around 1200-1400 calories a day and a bit more on weekends. I'm sure it's not due to my periods though. Plus, I'm not someone who avoids carbs. In fact (and though a lot of people might think this 'unhealthy'), all my meals have carbs in them.
    From you, 24/7. that¨s one week ago. So either you were not truthfull there, or here.

    Go back to following the advice the professionals give you: Eat at 2000 calories. Consistently for at least a few weeks. You might gain a bit back at the start, since its more than you were eating before, but if they think it will stop your binging then you should give it a serious try.

    Also, look for ED recovery groups here to get advice from those that are on their way/have recovered.
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
    How many calories do you figure you should be eating every day?

    I think I maintain well on 1400-1600 calories a day, but I'm currently eating 800-1000 on weekdays and 1800+ on weekends.
  • AvonBell
    AvonBell Posts: 107 Member
    Your weekday calories are too low. The 2000 calorie target given by your doctors seems like a smart target. This probably isn't new information to you but there are strategies to feel full such as eating more protein and lower calorie dense foods like fruits and vegetables. You've said the fear of binging is what prevents you from eating this much. I understand how difficult it can be to overcome fear. I can only suggest working through this with your therapist and looking for an eating disorder support group.

    You're not alone, there are many people out there struggling with the same issues you are. And there are many people who have overcome them. Don't let this obstacle overwhelm you. Take it day by day. Learn from your bad days, share them with the people who care for you, and try and try again.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You're bingeing because you're eating 800-1000 cals a day.
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
    Yeah, try eating 2000-2500 per day consistently and see how that feels. Even if you're a little over, at least you aren't binging.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    If you're not familiar with the YourEatopia site, it's a wonderful source of ED-related information.

    From an article on binge eating, which suggests that binge eating is a reaction to restriction and would be expected to resolve itself when you stop restricting (just a note, if you're eating 800-1000 on weekdays, you're still restricting and your ED is still active):

    "Does someone who recovers from the restrictive eating disorder, no matter the restrictive facets they experience, develop a binge eating disorder?

    The answer is “no”. However, it is important to note that the process of recovery from an energy deficient state most certainly involves a period of extreme hunger and eating. It is a transient condition that disappears once energy balance is restored."

    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/10/31/bingeing-is-not-bingeing.html
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    You require professional aid. A medically licensed professional to help you. This includes but a dietitian, a medical doctor, and a psychiatrist/psychologist.
  • strassenkoenigin
    strassenkoenigin Posts: 259
    I would try to find a support group in your area. If there is none, join one online. One specifically for eating disorders.
    From my personal experience I find that it always helps if you find some other hobby to occupy your mind, so that you forget about eating. Do something you really like. Dancing, singing, painting, sculpting, biking, swimming, rollerblading, playing an instrument, writing, running, playing ball, whatever.
  • LifeWithPie
    LifeWithPie Posts: 552 Member
    You've posted a lot of threads since the beginning of May all about your binge eating. You have been given the exact same advice in all of them. You also have given your age as 20, sometimes 19. Your daily maintenance calories are all different numbers in each thread as well. And your story changes a bit in each too.

    Sorry, but I'm having a hard time taking this seriously. There are a lot of conflicting statements in your posts and you keep getting the same helpful answers. Basically, get professional help.


    No one on these forums can fix you.
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
    You've posted a lot of threads since the beginning of May all about your binge eating. You have been given the exact same advice in all of them. You also have given your age as 20, sometimes 19. Your daily maintenance calories are all different numbers in each thread as well. And your story changes a bit in each too.

    Sorry, but I'm having a hard time taking this seriously. There are a lot of conflicting statements in your posts and you keep getting the same helpful answers. Basically, get professional help.


    No one on these forums can fix you.

    I turn 20 this year.

    I've been struggling with this for a long time. I HAVE tried getting professional help, but as I've been saying since my posts in May, there aren't many professionals who specialize in eating disorders where I'm from. There's literally NO ONE I can ask help from. I was hoping someone online who has gone through the same thing I'm going through and managed to overcome it would give me some advice, that's why I keep posting here. I am on my own, and I've been on my own with this illness from the start. Maybe if there was someone in this country who knew how to treat eating disorders, I'd be okay by now and wouldn't have gone from anorexia to binge eating like I have.

    The Internet's all I have. It's the only place I can get support and help from. I'm not asking for anyone to 'fix' me. I'm just looking for someone who understands what I'm going through, or someone who has overcome a similar problem.

    I want to get better, I'm sorry for trying...?
  • mollyann34
    mollyann34 Posts: 33 Member
    I struggle with binge eating as well. I find if I keep my calories high enough (1200-1400) daily and when I get cravings, just take a bite, I do a lot better. I only binge now when I restrict myself from eating something I want to. On days where things aren't so awesome, I enjoy carrot and cucumber sticks. That crunch seems to help. Hopefully this helps you in some way, I know this can be scary and painful.
  • Holla4mom
    Holla4mom Posts: 587 Member
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I'm glad you're reaching out to others, but the techniques to treat ED are very specialized. How often do you see your dietician/ therapist? Is it possible to increase your check-ins? In addition to the individual therapy, does your therapist know of any ED group therapy in your area? Can you develop a "crisis plan" with your therapist where you know what to do if you were literally unable to stop binging in spite of upping your calories to 2000 per day. From what I read, that won't happen, but maybe having a plan (like who to call, or where to go, what to do) will help you feel more comfortable eating the amount you need to.
    Your crisis plan should include your support network. Who can you call when you are having those strong urges to chit chat and get your mind off of what you are dealing with?
  • Jim_Barteck
    Jim_Barteck Posts: 274 Member
    Binge eating is the mirror image of anorexia/bulemia. Essentially they are different coping mechanisms.

    Often this results from a feeling of being out of control. Food is something you can control - eating too little, eating too much, eating it and then vomiting it back up. Whatever. They're all variations on the same theme.

    At the heart of it, how you deal with food is a symptom not the disease itself. You are likely having trouble getting a proper perspective on your eating habits because it's not the root of your problem.

    It's kind of like trying to constantly deal with water on the floor by using first a mop...then a sponge....then a towel....You keep trying different things, but you can't get all the water. Why? Because you haven't turned off the faucet. Until you do, you're *never* going to be able to mop up all the water.

    Obviously I don't know you or your history. But there's something in there which is manifesting itself in your relationship with food, and that's what you need to work with your therapist on uncovering and dealing with.

    A dietitian can help with your nutrition and dealing with your symptoms, but it's going to take some really intensive work with your therapist to deal with the underlying issues, whatever they may be.

    If you'd like to send a friend request, I'd be happy to talk further about this more privately. But, in any case, I will reiterate the recommendations of the other commenters to work with your medical professionals as this is well beyond the scope of an internet forum like this.

Categories