Clothes telling me the truth

nycarol17
nycarol17 Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
It's my first post and I'm a little nervous but more fed up than anything else. With myself.

Over a year ago I lost 25 pounds (179 to 154, I'm 5'2") and needed to lose another 15-20, but 154 was a mini-plateau. I felt great and honestly I should just admit that I got comfortable. I relaxed my eating...and most of all pretty much started a decline in working out. By February I was able to run a half marathon but I was already up to 157 - and I lost a lot of muscle without weight training, so I know I added more than just 3 pounds of fat. I mostly spent time ignoring my weight since then, but as summer continues, I'm noticing - well, frankly nothing fits. My size 8 shorts don't button - at all. My dresses either don't or just barely zip. My tops are hard to get over my boobs and snug around my waist.

So I stepped on the scale: 171. After those months of hard work I have put back on almost all of my weight. If I'm being honest, my eating habits have completely fallen off the wagon - I'm back on heavy pastas, breads, chips and cheese - and I know I've started over-eating again, as well. I haven't had the nerve to track calories in months - I'm sure some days it's over 2,500.

I'm disappointed in myself. I don't know what I was thinking, indulging and not working out - of course I put weight back on. And I'm unlucky enough that unlike before, where my weight was pretty evenly spread out, now I'm gaining much more prominently in my stomach, making even my 'old/fat' clothes too tight in the waist.

More than anything, it hit me yesterday when my husband, who has kept his weight off, and I were watching tv and I caught him staring down at my stomach (which, of course, was overfull from a bad day of eating, and bloated from dinner) looking...honestly, a little disappointed. I can't blame him; my stomach has never been this big and I was in the 130s when we met - this isn't what he's used to. he loves me, but...I can tell he doesn't like me the most at this size.

I suppose I'm throwing this out there for some tough love. I don't need coddling - I do that enough to myself. I need someone to tell me to face facts and get off my butt...because being depressed about my weight has only made me eat more today.

sigh - #endrant.

Replies

  • red66stang
    red66stang Posts: 38
    Sounds like you know it's time to do something. Feeling bad about how you look doesn't just affect you but also affects your relationship with your husband. You can sit around and complain while the problem gets worse or do something about it. Maybe consider talking with your husband and see if he'll workout with you? I've not struggled with my weight much but my wife has and so we've made it a point to exercise together, which benefits both of us. It's a lot easier working out together than going it alone. The good news is that being as short as you are that dropping even 20 lbs will make a huge difference in how you look and how your clothes fit. Good luck!
  • Shancouchon
    Shancouchon Posts: 6 Member
    Honestly change the names and the picture.... It is exactly my story!!! I realized I will have no clothes to fit when I go back to teaching in a few weeks!! I had gotten a whole new wardrobe when I lost my weight... Loved my 8's... Yep got comfortable now those jeans are wearing through on the inner thighs... Most of my shirts are too short due to extra weight in the chest area.
    I restarted MFP 4 days ago and I am down 4lbs. It stinks, it's hard, I hate feeling like I can't eat what I want when I want..... But I hate feeling like a fat cow embarrassed even more so the scale ( no pun intended) has tipped in favor of tracking again.

    I know my husband loves me but I like the " you looks sexy look" that I got at 150 instead of 174 ( well now 169)

    Good luck!!
  • sarahharas5
    sarahharas5 Posts: 256 Member
    Get off your lazy butt and do something about it!!
    Tough love like that?
    But seriously-you know how to get where you want to be. Start today and take it one day at a time. I think this is a VERY common cycle. Lose some weight--think you don't need to watch your diet as much--eat like crap--gain weight
    You can do it! Add me as a friend if you need some extra support!
  • nycarol17
    nycarol17 Posts: 4
    @Shancouchon - that's exactly it! I miss being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Unfortunately I think I take to that with gusto and sometimes end up OVER-eating whatever I want, too frequently. The last 5 pounds have come on over the past 2 weeks - which is a reflection of how much more I've been eating recently.

    It IS hard - I want so much to be thin and healthy, but eating has kept winning out for me. That's why I think I almost need someone to snap me out of it and give me a reality check - so my scales tip in the same direction as yours!

    Thanks for posting...very relatable. Here's to hopefully getting back on track...soon? Sigh.
  • All4Me2014xx
    All4Me2014xx Posts: 155 Member
    Same thing for me. I hit a first goal and decided to try to maintain that. Ya, didn't work so well. I gained back just about all the weight I had lost. Set myself up again and started back on it. I again hit that magic number that satisfied me temporarily and went on vacation. Got back home, my allergies hit me with a sledge hammer and I pulled something in my lower back. 6 weeks later, I finally decided I was being stupid for waiting that long to get back to it and stepped on the scale. Gained some of it back again.

    When will I learn? I'm learning every day that it's all about me.
    What do I want to see when I look in the mirror? Not what I am currently seeing.
    How do I want to feel when I zip my jeans? Like it's time to buy the next lower size.
    Do I ever want to wear a dress again? Yes.

    I don't have a secret for getting there. I just have to keep learning every day. Change up what I am doing every couple of months to keep me interested in going, going, going. That's it. Eat what fits in my daily goal and move.

    Good luck.
  • Shancouchon
    Shancouchon Posts: 6 Member
    For me... I finally hit that moment... I "tried" all summer to lose weight and "somehow" gained almost 10lbs???? Seriously I wish I was making this up!!

    I tried on a pair of work pants and I couldn't get them over my hips.... Now that freaked me out so I started trying on clothes.... Ughhhh what do you mean I can't wear yoga pants to work??? Lol so I have finally hit that point where I was grossed out. I restarted this site and am tracking! I am making this a priority... It's Friday night.. I would like to have a beer... Maybe 2 but I need to have calories in my bank for this sooooo I ran this morning to cover those calories. I am thinking like my checking account- if I don't have the money I can't buy it... If I don't have the calories I can't

    Let's work together!!!! If you know how to friend me do it and we can have daily check ins!!! Daily because if I don't log on then I "forget" and I am back to figuring out how to pull off yoga pants for work ( and that's a no no!! Lol)

    Deal?
  • hill8570
    hill8570 Posts: 1,466 Member
    OK, repeat after me, recruit:

    "This is my MFP diary. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My MFP diary is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my MFP diary is useless. Without my MFP diary, I am useless. I must log my diet and honestly. I must be stronger than my desire to overeat, which is trying to keep me out of my skinny jeans. I must push the extra food away before it keeps me out of my skinny jeans. I will. I swear this creed: my MFP diary and myself are defenders of my waistline, we are the masters of my appetite, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no desire to overeat, but only maintenance. "

    With abject apologies to the screenwriters of Full Metal Jacket.
  • bergpa
    bergpa Posts: 148 Member
    You've lost it before, you can lose it again. This time make it a lifestyle that you can sustain.
  • rachelg145
    rachelg145 Posts: 185 Member
    You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, just not as much of it. And if you WANT to get back in shape, you won't WANT to eat junk all the time anymore. I still eat dark meat chicken, steak, chips, whatever, just not all the time and not big portions. Get your booty to the gym and work out. If there is nothing physically wrong with you there is NO excuse for not exercising. It feels good, it's good for you, it's a lifestyle choice. Eat at home more so you are in control of your meals. Log EVERYTHING.

    You can do this - you just have to WANT to do it....not talk about wanting to do it.
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    Time to get back to basics Carol and remember WHY you wanted to do this in the first place. Get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself! The good news is you've done it before so you know it can be done! Your metabolism isn't special and there aren't any secret formulas or tricks.

    So set some achievable goals, buckle down, and get back to work. Now DAMMIT!
  • Jim_Barteck
    Jim_Barteck Posts: 274 Member
    (You wanted tough love, so no punches pulled.)

    You say you want to be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want. Well, there's a price to be paid for that. Either you get fat, or you get off your butt and start working off those calories.

    You need to make a choice: how important is eating those calories to me and can I actually give them up over the long run? It sounds like you're saying that you can't (which isn't true, but it *is* a valid choice if you decide to make it). If that's the case, then you will *ALWAYS* having to be actively involved in an exercise program. Or you will *always* be destined to put back on whatever weight you lose.

    You want a lifetime plan? Here's a lifetime plan: you don't get to eat anything today that you didn't earn yet this week. If you're not in a deficit for the week-to-date then you're not allowed to eat anything over your BMR. If you want to splurge, then burn the calories BEFORE you eat them. Don't fool yourself with false promises that you'll work out later to make up for them. No, you won't. Those calories will simply continue to pile up while you stuff your face with more pasta.

    In the meantime, you've got work to do. The bill just arrived for all those wonderful meals you've been eating. It's staring you in the mirror. Now it's time to open the exercise wallet and start shelling out some calorie greenbacks to settle the tab. You're not the type to dine-and-dash, are you? Of course not, you came here looking for accountability because you know there's no way to duck the bill.

    So have some accountability: add lots of friends and let them help you hold yourself accountable. Log everything - even if you binge eat an entire pan of lasagna. You've done it before. You can do it again.

    Why are you still reading this instead of getting up and exercising? Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (How's that?)
  • geekishgirl
    geekishgirl Posts: 117 Member
    OK, repeat after me, recruit:

    "This is my MFP diary. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My MFP diary is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my MFP diary is useless. Without my MFP diary, I am useless. I must log my diet and honestly. I must be stronger than my desire to overeat, which is trying to keep me out of my skinny jeans. I must push the extra food away before it keeps me out of my skinny jeans. I will. I swear this creed: my MFP diary and myself are defenders of my waistline, we are the masters of my appetite, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no desire to overeat, but only maintenance. "

    With abject apologies to the screenwriters of Full Metal Jacket.

    Love this!
  • skyekeeper
    skyekeeper Posts: 286 Member
    (You wanted tough love, so no punches pulled.)

    You say you want to be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want. Well, there's a price to be paid for that. Either you get fat, or you get off your butt and start working off those calories.

    You need to make a choice: how important is eating those calories to me and can I actually give them up over the long run? It sounds like you're saying that you can't (which isn't true, but it *is* a valid choice if you decide to make it). If that's the case, then you will *ALWAYS* having to be actively involved in an exercise program. Or you will *always* be destined to put back on whatever weight you lose.

    You want a lifetime plan? Here's a lifetime plan: you don't get to anything today that you didn't earn yet this week. If you're not in a deficit for the week-to-date then you're not allowed to eat anything over your BMR. If you want to splurge, then burn the calories BEFORE you eat them. Don't fool yourself with false promises that you'll work out later to make up for them. No, you won't. Those calories will simply continue to pile up while you stuff your face with more pasta.

    In the meantime, you've got work to do. The bill just arrived for all those wonderful meals you've been eating. It's staring you in the mirror. Now it's time to open the exercise wallet and start shelling out some calorie greenbacks to settle the tab. You're not the type to dine-and-dash, are you? Of course not, you came here looking for accountability because you know there's no way to duck the bill.

    So have some accountability: add lots of friends and let them help you hold yourself accountable. Log everything - even if you binge eat an entire pan of lasagna. You've done it before. You can do it again.

    Why are you still reading this instead of getting up and exercising? Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (How's that?)


    ^^^^LOVE IT!! I think we all need this from time to time!!
  • cld1075
    cld1075 Posts: 25
    OK, repeat after me, recruit:

    "This is my MFP diary. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My MFP diary is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my MFP diary is useless. Without my MFP diary, I am useless. I must log my diet and honestly. I must be stronger than my desire to overeat, which is trying to keep me out of my skinny jeans. I must push the extra food away before it keeps me out of my skinny jeans. I will. I swear this creed: my MFP diary and myself are defenders of my waistline, we are the masters of my appetite, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no desire to overeat, but only maintenance. "

    With abject apologies to the screenwriters of Full Metal Jacket.



    This made me laugh out loud. I may have to print it....LOL.
  • cld1075
    cld1075 Posts: 25
    (You wanted tough love, so no punches pulled.)

    You say you want to be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want. Well, there's a price to be paid for that. Either you get fat, or you get off your butt and start working off those calories.

    You need to make a choice: how important is eating those calories to me and can I actually give them up over the long run? It sounds like you're saying that you can't (which isn't true, but it *is* a valid choice if you decide to make it). If that's the case, then you will *ALWAYS* having to be actively involved in an exercise program. Or you will *always* be destined to put back on whatever weight you lose.

    You want a lifetime plan? Here's a lifetime plan: you don't get to anything today that you didn't earn yet this week. If you're not in a deficit for the week-to-date then you're not allowed to eat anything over your BMR. If you want to splurge, then burn the calories BEFORE you eat them. Don't fool yourself with false promises that you'll work out later to make up for them. No, you won't. Those calories will simply continue to pile up while you stuff your face with more pasta.

    In the meantime, you've got work to do. The bill just arrived for all those wonderful meals you've been eating. It's staring you in the mirror. Now it's time to open the exercise wallet and start shelling out some calorie greenbacks to settle the tab. You're not the type to dine-and-dash, are you? Of course not, you came here looking for accountability because you know there's no way to duck the bill.

    So have some accountability: add lots of friends and let them help you hold yourself accountable. Log everything - even if you binge eat an entire pan of lasagna. You've done it before. You can do it again.

    Why are you still reading this instead of getting up and exercising? Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (How's that?)


    ^^^Awesome!!!!
  • binglebandit
    binglebandit Posts: 531 Member
    Me too. After a year of diligently losing weight and exercising I got comfortable at a weight just 5lbs shy of my goal. Now I've gained 10 back and am starting over again. It took six months of slowly gaining before I finally decided to get serious again. Ultimately it isn't about the goal, it's about making changes that you can stick with for a long time. Best of luck to you in getting back on the horse. If you'd like to you can friend me.
  • riceabi
    riceabi Posts: 7 Member
    As others have said, change the picture and the names and it's also my story! My boyfriend and I started the journey together and in a little over six months, he lost 75 and I lost 42 pounds (which, I'll admit, at the time I was so disappointed in how much more he lost but looking back I should have been THRILLED about!). At that point he was below his goal and began maintenance and we returned to more social eating and, well, drinking. In the last year since we quit watching closely, I more recently started realizing my scrubs were no longer comfortable at work, which is impressive because those things are good for quite a few pounds between sizes. Lo and behold, step back on the scale to be nearly 25 pounds heavier in a year. Having done so well I am just so mad at myself because I knew what to do and it was working while I had the support still, but as soon as I was on my own for the last 20 pounds I hoped to lose, I slacked off and let it all go again. I've proudly tracked everything for the last week and I'm hoping to get completely back on track and do it all over again but I could just kick myself for letting it happen again.
  • nycarol17
    nycarol17 Posts: 4
    Thanks, everyone...

    It's been a hard day. From posting this until now I haven't been very 'strong' but I've promised myself that it starts tomorrow (today, since it's after midnight). This has to be it...so wish me luck. And keep the tough love coming - even after all of this, I was able to get back into denial this evening and had a bad dinner. I need an angel on my shoulder!

    Here goes nothin'...

    Carol
  • AquaticQuests
    AquaticQuests Posts: 947 Member
    Its only tough when you think of the cumulative totality of the journey ahead (either timewise or weight wise).

    When you look at the daily reality which is really about making SMALL adjustments, BUT consistently on a daily basis, then you realise its not as tough as it appears!

    CONSISTENCY never killed anyone! Just moderation and avoid wild swings on the scale/ calories in either direction will do the trick!

    It's all about MINDSET!

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