Facebook Pictures

Wookinpanub · August 2014

So I have been wanting to post a full body or just upper body picture on facebook once I met my goal, maybe got a new hairstyle and some new fitted clothes. The issue is I am worried some of my friends who have known me as being over weight are going to make a big deal and comment on my weight loss. I think that is rude especially on a public forum like Facebook.

Also, there are many of my FB friends that haven't seen me in years and I don't want them to know I turned into a fat *kitten* over time. I used to be an athletic skinny guy until my mid 20s.

What to do?

seltzermint555 · August 2014

That definitely IS a tight spot to be in. I guess stay new picture-less, or take that chance.

Most likely, your newer friends WILL make comments even though it's somewhat rude...it will probably happen.

I have had sorta the opposite happen though. I always get FB comments about my weight loss when posting random photos (like me and my husband at a museum or whatever) and some of my newer friends who have only known me smaller, don't get that I was 300 lb a few years ago...they're thinking I lost like 20-30 lb not 130. That can be awkward too. I've had people say "No, I know you were heavier...but I mean really obese like that woman over there" and the person is smaller than I was at my heaviest. Awkward all around.

ETA: I get that you may not want some of your old friends to know that you gained weight in the past, but I'd think they would be more impressed to see a "now" photo that looks good, regardless.

Wookinpanub · August 2014

Thanks seltzermint...I was going to try to be a little discreet about it and just post a random photo of the new me but with others in the photo as well.

Good point about the old friends focusing on the new me photo.

TheSatinPumpkin · August 2014

no one on my facebook has seen me or any pics of me for over 14 years so i first posted my before pics and stats and then the day after i posted my progress pics and the comments were all positive. I only have a selected amount of folks in my FB and i make sure that my settings are not public.

Jim_Barteck · August 2014

If you think it's going to be a big issue, you can set the post so that only certain people can see it. You can choose to either show it to everyone excluding certain people, or only show it to certain people.

Wookinpanub · August 2014

no one on my facebook has seen me or any pics of me for over 14 years so i first posted my before pics and stats and then the day after i posted my progress pics and the comments were all positive. I only have a selected amount of folks in my FB and i make sure that my settings are not public.

Sounds like you did a "reveal" type photo release. I am very self conscious about my weight gain and I am friends with my ex from college who dumped me partly because I gained weight and wasn't attracted to me anymore.

love8383 · August 2014

So I have been wanting to post a full body or just upper body picture on facebook once I met my goal, maybe got a new hairstyle and some new fitted clothes. The issue is I am worried some of my friends who have known me as being over weight are going to make a big deal and comment on my weight loss. I think that is rude especially on a public forum like Facebook.

Also, there are many of my FB friends that haven't seen me in years and I don't want them to know I turned into a fat *kitten* over time. I used to be an athletic skinny guy until my mid 20s.

What to do?

I feel the exact same way, i have like no pics up right now and if if put one up now i know a lot of people are going to talk about how much i've lost and make a big deal out of it. it's too embarrassing. Im proud of losing the weight but embarrassed i had that much to lose in the first place...

Lourdesong · August 2014

So I have been wanting to post a full body or just upper body picture on facebook once I met my goal, maybe got a new hairstyle and some new fitted clothes. The issue is I am worried some of my friends who have known me as being over weight are going to make a big deal and comment on my weight loss. I think that is rude especially on a public forum like Facebook.

Also, there are many of my FB friends that haven't seen me in years and I don't want them to know I turned into a fat *kitten* over time. I used to be an athletic skinny guy until my mid 20s.

What to do?

Since you want to post a picture, then post the picture. People will comment with whatever they feel is appropriate, and more likely than not, other people aren't going to care about other people's comments, or that you had gained and lost weight, or whatever.

You're human, gaining and losing and/or being imperfect is all part of being human. Share your humanity, it's false (inauthentic) to pretend you're something other than human.

zkjmum · August 2014

I have been very open and honest about my weight loss journey on Facebook, and have posted my before and during pictures (the one that is my current profile pic here on MFP). Everyone was extremely supportive...if anyone had said anything nasty, I simply would have deleted their comment and changed the audience of my post to exclude them from seeing it. You might be surprised by how many people will be happy for you...but you'll never know if you don't take the chance.

FaylinaMeir · August 2014

my person opinion is just do it. You need to be honest with yourself that you "let yourself go" but be self confident in the fact you cared enough to get back into shape. If someone is such an *kitten* they want to harass you about it, you probably don't need to be friends with them. I know it sounds like something mom would say in grade school but its kinda true.
Also, they might be jealous of you and lash back and say some rude things.

SassyMoonbeams · August 2014

I can understand.....I talk about my journey with a select few, and try to keep most of my fb friends in the dark about it because I didn't want to be judged in a negative light (you know how we get treated differently when we're bigger...), it was my way of having an even playing field with everyone else. And it really is nobody's business unless you choose to share it with them, it's such a personal thing.

If I were you, I'd just do it. You will have to bite the bullet and do it eventually, because it sounds like something you want to do. and once you do it, it'll be done with and everyone can move on. If someone really says something embarrassing or gushes too much about your weight success, then delete their post and let them know by personal message that it was no hard feelings, and explain why you wanted to keep it low key. Even if someone gushes just respond with a simple "thanks"....they'll usually be able to get the hint that it's not necessarily something you want to talk about.

12_oz_Curls · August 2014

It's facebook! post the pics! haters will be haters, lovers will be lovers. And in the end it's all about you posting a pic to brag about yourself in the end. That is what facebook is.

I know I will catch flak about this, but really, get over what you think your friends will think and just think about yourself! Nobody really cares about you beyond your response to their comments on facebook anyways.

cincysweetheart · August 2014

My intent as far as FB goes… is to not make a big deal about it. I don't give a d@mn what anyone else thinks about me… I just want to avoid drama. I have not said a word about what I'm doing on FB… except once where I commented on my nieces status and once where I asked people for songs for a workout play list. I will post new pics (profile pics) of myself periodically when I get one that I like. If someone really wants to go through and compare… then then surely they will notice the change. But doing it periodically, the change will be gradual enough that I can hopefully avoid the drama of all the "holy sh**" responses from people. However, I expect that sooner or later it will become obvious enough that someone will comment… but hopefully I can minimize it. The thing I have in my favor is that I've always been overweight… so I don't have to worry about old friends seeing that I "let myself go" so when those comments come, they can really only be positive.

seltzermint555 · August 2014

I think the bottom line here is that everyone has different levels of disclosure they are comfortable with when it comes to friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances.

I have shared one weight loss post on facebook, at my 1 year anniversary of logging when I'd lost about 65 lb using this site. I didn't disclose the fact that I'd also lost 45 lb BEFOREHAND and I'd say most who know me would guess that my MFP start weight was my highest weight ever - no harm, that's not necessary for them to know any different. I posted 2 before/after shots and titled it "My Fitness Pal - 1 Year" or something like that. I got hundreds of comments but that was kind of expected because I have a lot of FB contacts.

I know some people who are comfortable sharing belly shots, underwear clad photos, weekly "pounds lost" progress, etc. That's not me. I've had coworkers who told the entire office about what they ate each day on their special diet and passed around their scary test results from the doctor's office when they were diagnosed with diabetes or thyroid issues. I cringe at that -- I would personally feel SO exposed and humiliated to do that. So I understand that for some people (maybe even you, OP) it could be a similar feeling even sharing before/after, and a bit anxiety-inducing to even just post what is essentially an "after" shot with no weight loss related comments.

But I can tell you it feels good to hear "wow, you look great". Worth it.

Do what makes you happy!!

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