A bad source of motivation?

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lukewind
lukewind Posts: 177 Member
in Motivation and Support
So something that has always separated me with the other overweight people in my family was the fact that I was always the biggest. But I am well within a year of being smaller then all of them as long as I stay on track. One thing that always bugged me growing up was the fact that my family felt fine making fun of my weight so much. Sure it would seem like it was all ****s and giggles but being the biggest it felt like they were using me sometimes to fell better about there weight issues since next to me they were supermodels. Maybe just me being paranoid but it was the way I felt sometimes.

So a source of growing motivation in my head has been to get below all of them in order have those roles reversed, but only in my head. I would never make fun of someones weight, even if it was someone who did it to me first. I know the feeling all to well and I don't wish it on my worst enemy. That said it has just been the thoughts of knowing I could turn the tables on them in some way that has helped keep me motivated. I am not mad at them or anything, they have their insecurities as well and I never held a grudge towards them for anything said because I know that we are a sarcastic bunch and we rib each other all the time, I guess I just wish in the early days weight would have been a topic we didn't touch so often.

So have you ever been motivated to lose weight because you wanted to be smaller then someone else? If so do you think its healthy if only in thought of, or do you think its just unhealthy in general? I try and try to get those thoughts out of my head but they can be quite a good motivation even though I would never externally act on them.

Replies

  • LULU4178
    LULU4178 Posts: 69 Member
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    Yes! I belong to a mom's group and my goal is to no longer be the biggest mom in the group. It is a challenge since these ladies are all pretty fit. I have not told anyone about this, but it motivates me so I don't see the harm. They are all supportive of my new lifestyle and weight loss and have no idea that I am "gunning" for one of them!

    I am of the opinion that if it does not harm another person and it works for you, then use it and don't worry about it.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
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    Welcome to the human race! We all have our unhealthy ways of thinking. Personally… I say go with what works! Who am I to judge? I can totally get why you feel that way. There's a few people I would love to give an "in-your-face" to once I'm down to my goal weight!

    (Edited for typo.)
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    Is it "healthy" to want to be smaller than someone else and use that as motivation to lose weight? Eh...

    Is it what you need to lose weight to be at a healthy weight for you? Yes. Ok well then...do what you need to do.

    I did tell my "skinny" friend that I was going to be smaller than her...I am. We laughed about it.
  • aaronwright987
    aaronwright987 Posts: 4 Member
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    I would say it is okay. When you have a choice between watching TV or going to the gym, it doesn't matter very much what your internal motivation is, as long as you make the right choice.

    Here is another thought: If your friends and family enjoy that competitive spirit, how about turning your weight loss into a group effort? If all of you are openly competiting, you can all motivate each other. Rather than hide your feelings, maybe being open about them would be better if it means all of you become healthier.

    Just some thoughts.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I think motivation in any form is a good thing, so long as it doesn't become unhealthy or negative for you. You seem to have a handle on it.
  • succeedin2
    succeedin2 Posts: 501 Member
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    All I can say is Go and get them!!!!! The sweetest revenge is success you won't have to say a word to them and you will feel better!
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    Oh, sure. As long as I keep certain comments unsaid, and I don't dwell on them so much that I build resentment and bitterness, I feel okay. I usually play songs that are "eff you" songs when I work out. Things like Goodbye to You, Fighter (Aguilera, love that one), some others. You give 'em hell in your mind :)
  • TiberiusClaudis
    TiberiusClaudis Posts: 423 Member
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    You are in a fat loss war...use what ever gets you motivated. Naturally, I wouldn't be telling too many people about this...but what goes on between your ears and what motivates you to reach your goals is all fair in love and war.
  • tlicttbh
    tlicttbh Posts: 89
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    Sometimes I want to be smaller than someone else. But most of the time I'm not too concerned about being smaller. It means more to me to be in shape and toned. I am 5'4". So is my friend. We are the same age. I am 140. She is about 110. I take a size 10-12. She takes a size 4. So she is much smaller than I am and smaller boned. But I am much stronger than she is. She can't do the plank at all. I can do it for 1 minute. I can also do it on the TRX. Lifting 5 pounds with both hands is too much for her. I can do a one arm row with 25 pounds, 30 if I really push it. I'd rather be bigger and stronger than smaller and weaker.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
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    I don't think it's unhealthy.

    I'd like to not be the fat friend...
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    Is it a healthy way to look at your relationships? Probably not but having said that motivation is motivation whatever form it comes in so take it while you've got it. Like others have said, maybe keep it to yourself or don't and even consider bringing your family members along for the ride. I hope it's not your only source of motivation so you've got something else when you get there.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
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    My younger sister used to be the cute skinny one, but now she's ballooned up to 180. I can't get her interested in seriously addressing her weight.

    If I can get my weight down below hers it might be an effective wake-up call.
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
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    Since you don't intend to actually rub their faces in it, go for it. lol IMO it's a healthier motivation than constantly comparing yourself to photoshopped magazine pictures of people with drastically different body types from yours. :flowerforyou: Good luck and go get 'em!!
  • losingforgood120
    losingforgood120 Posts: 94
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    If it helps you feel better you could think - I hope they get fit too because I care about them. Ya know, balance out those feelings. :)

    No one has given me a hard time about my weight in my life so I can't really relate. (It has been a recent development- last 2 1/2 years that I gained.) If I had been battling this my whole life, and if people had given me a hard time I would probably be thinking the EXACT SAME things. "I'll show them."

    Congrats on your weight loss- you are doing awesome!

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