unsupportive people SUCK!!!

runawaybride
runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
So my mother-in-law just said to me " you should just get rid of your old clothes since you won't be wearing them anymore and you don't have the room"

What do you say to something like that? I felt like saying something then I thought OK take a breathe. But really all I wanted to do was reach thru the phone and strangle her skinny little neck!!!

Now I just want to show her that I can do it and just because it has been 7 months since I had my little one it can still be done. I don't understand her reasoning behind putting me down and always being unsupportive.:explode:


Any advice?

Replies

  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
    So my mother-in-law just said to me " you should just get rid of your old clothes since you won't be wearing them anymore and you don't have the room"

    What do you say to something like that? I felt like saying something then I thought OK take a breathe. But really all I wanted to do was reach thru the phone and strangle her skinny little neck!!!

    Now I just want to show her that I can do it and just because it has been 7 months since I had my little one it can still be done. I don't understand her reasoning behind putting me down and always being unsupportive.:explode:


    Any advice?
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    Ignore her, smile, and then PROVE HER WRONG!

    You can do it!
  • pinktoque
    pinktoque Posts: 340 Member
    Ignore her, smile, and then PROVE HER WRONG!

    You can do it!

    I second that! You CAN do it and we're all here to help -- good luck, and just believe in yourself!

    :heart:
  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
    I do the "fake" smile with her all the time. She just never stops. She has always been skinny and very active and doesn't understand. So how do you explain it to someone like that? I cannot just say it takes time because she thinks it shouldn't be hard at all.........:huh:
  • time2wrk
    time2wrk Posts: 773 Member
    Don't bother to explain - just do your thing!
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    What is your DH saying during these times?

    Also, explaining won't do much--I agree. Just show her by your actions not your words
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    SHe's probably miserable in her own life...do better than she could ever imagine!!
  • jlwhelan1
    jlwhelan1 Posts: 664
    Smile genuinely, give a non committal answer, and ignore what she's saying. Move on.

    Example non committal answers:
    really? wow, interesting, hmmmm, fine, okay, I'll look into that....and many more.:laugh:
  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
    Let's see ......my DH is the only child and he is male so he is the typical MAMA'S BOY!!!! (Very old Mama's boy...32) For real he is and he never usually says anything and in the beginning we use to fight constantly about her now I just don't bother. But lately her little jabs like that are getting to me. My DH says the same thing about getting rid of my clothes since they are in the way and not being used. He doesn't understand much either and he is always in good shape too. So with people like that for me it is hard to explain why I haven't lost much yet.

    This is a very hard subject for me because on the same note my DH is still so in love with me and the "extra" weight doesn't seem to be an issue but the comments that come off like ...you aren't going to lose it so why bother.........are getting to me.
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    You can do this, prove the witch wrong! lol :smile: Lose all the weight and then ask her if she wants your old clothes b/c they're too big :laugh:
  • obliged
    obliged Posts: 465
    maybe its just me but if i were in that situation i would tell her to shove it:angry: and that would be the end of it.:ohwell:

    but yeah go with what other people are saying. prove her wrong and rub her face in it, it can make you feel so much better:bigsmile:
  • heartshapdworld
    heartshapdworld Posts: 323 Member
    My grandmother makes comments to my mom and my aunt about their weight all the time. They just ignore my grandmother...after so many years I guess it works for them.

    I don't think the reputation mother-in-laws' receive are unfounded all the time. Isn't there always at least a kernal of truth to commonly held assumptions? Since you are married to her son, she will always be in your life, so, unfortuantely, you have to find a way to deal. Unfortunately, also, husband might just opt to be uninvolved, and not want to hear anything-either from you or the mother. A man's way of keeping the peace.

    Lastly, even when you do prove her wrong, there is the chance that it won't be acknowleged or made to be trivial and she will find something else to needle you about. Like raising the children or something. Maybe the way you dress, do your hair. The point you might have to accept that she will needle you, because you wants to. Only her actions, overtime, will tell.

    Or maybe, she just doesn't know to give the kind of support you prefer. Maybe she feels that having the cloths in the your closet maybe hurting you emotionally and by suggesting that you throw them out she may feel that she is be caring and helping you.

    So, you will just have to ***** about her to us, so we can make you feel better and say what a miserable horrible person the mother-in-law and if her heart matched her outside she would be quite unattractive-skinny or not.

    :flowerforyou:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    Hey girlie...

    Ask her if she wants them. :huh:
  • time2wrk
    time2wrk Posts: 773 Member
    Hey girlie...

    Ask her if she wants them. :huh:

    Hahahahaha! There is a little :devil: in you, isn't there? :laugh:
  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
    You can do this, prove the witch wrong! lol :smile: Lose all the weight and then ask her if she wants your old clothes b/c they're too big :laugh:


    Thanks for the laugh but who knows maybe I will be later on!!!!
  • Gator4RTR
    Gator4RTR Posts: 119 Member
    Lose the weight and throw it in her face!! :wink:

    You can do it Girl!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Canelitas
    Canelitas Posts: 712
    Lol, I agree with everyone here ... Those types of people are better off in their own fairyland ... she may look "good" physically, but her heart is in a horrible condition, sounds like she is bitter ... just ignore her.

    Best Wishes to you ... Give it all you got, and you'll recieve more than you can handle :flowerforyou:
  • mknipp
    mknipp Posts: 106
    I do the "fake" smile with her all the time. She just never stops. She has always been skinny and very active and doesn't understand. So how do you explain it to someone like that? I cannot just say it takes time because she thinks it shouldn't be hard at all.........:huh:

    Maybe she just wants your "skinny" clothes? :grumble: Best thing: ignore her and she will soon see that you can wear your own skinny clothes thank you.....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Never give up. Never ever give up. -Churchill
  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
    Thanks for all the support and advice you guys are AWESOME!!!!

    I am a pretty positive person and am very upbeat most of the time and her negativity just wears on me some days. Who knows maybe she doesn't want me to be skinny like her.:grumble:
  • 2day4ever
    2day4ever Posts: 178
    I totally agree. Let it go. Her comments reflect more about her than they do about you. I think people with class never need to put others down. There must be something missing in her that makes her jab out at you. That said, it just isn't worth it to spend the energy on her. Harness that energy and go work out!!!

    Also, two side comments: my MIL is really awesome and one of my best friends. She and I decided long ago that if something happened to my marriage, she and I would keep our bond. Only point in my saying this is that not all MILs are evil. Also, I will someday be a MIL and I definitely don't want to be the stereotype . . . Secondly, do remember how you feel now so that when you are a MIL someday you are kinder and gentler than she is . . .

    Meanwhile, good luck . . .
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    Hey girlie...

    Ask her if she wants them. :huh:

    Hahahahaha! There is a little :devil: in you, isn't there? :laugh:

    Ya, I'm a different type of support, aren't I? I say all the things nobody else will but always wishes they could! :laugh:
  • bleedingdreamer
    bleedingdreamer Posts: 36
    I know it is hard but try to just let it roll off your back. Some people actually think they are being supportive by saying mean things. My mother told me growing up that no one would love me if I were fat and to suck it in, if I were getting something to eat she would say "You're eating again?". Finally when I was 24 I stood up to her and said that I didn't want to hear it that it was just hurting me.
    Maybe your hubby could talk to her about maybe stepping over a line with comments like that.
    Hope things work out for you.
  • vonsue
    vonsue Posts: 5
    I have a few unsupportive people in my life. They think they're helping, but they're really not. Sad to say, my husband is one of them. He'll say, you're fine the way you are, then I'm proud of you for how hard you work to get the weight off. Then he'll come home with cheesecake and banana bread. Talk about mixed signals.
  • Ezzie
    Ezzie Posts: 665 Member
    oops
  • Ezzie
    Ezzie Posts: 665 Member
    Smile....make people wonder what you're up to!!!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    ( Yep, unsupportive people suck...BIGTIME)

    Just think...she may be skinnier..BUT...you'll always be younger t:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    EZ
  • nichols
    nichols Posts: 240
    one of my favorite quotes is ( there is no revenge so complete as forgivenes) its worked for me so far maybe it can work for u. good luck
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