I'll be happy when I'm fit/shredded/skinny/whatever

djeffreys10
djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
in Getting Started
No, you won't. This is a great article I stumbled across that I think should be required reading for everyone beginning their fitness journey.

http://www.fitocracy.com/knowledge/the-six-pack-of-unhappiness/

Replies

  • CharliesInCharge
    CharliesInCharge Posts: 278 Member
    great reading thanks!!
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    Not a bad read....

    I will only say this about it though....
    And for anyone else out there...

    Your weight loss, gains, goals, etc.....should only be for you, and you alone.

    That is what I did...
    I also started LeanGains, like the writer of the article did, but I didn't go into it wanting abs to flaunt or whatever.

    I did it, because I wanted to prove to myself, that at 36, I could have the will power, self control, discipline to get as lean as I was back in my early 20s.

    But the writer is correct, trying to meet others expectations will never make you happy.

    "To thine own self be true." :wink:
  • kittyr77
    kittyr77 Posts: 419 Member
    A very interesting read thanks for posting.
    This definitely applies to me.
    I need body acceptance, not if I am this size/weight I will be happier.
  • tr3kkie9rl
    tr3kkie9rl Posts: 144 Member
    Thank you so much for posting this. I'm not fat by any means (5'4" and a healthy 134#) but I struggle with body image issues.
  • LolaKarwowski
    LolaKarwowski Posts: 217 Member
    Great read! Thank you.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    Not a bad read....

    I will only say this about it though....
    And for anyone else out there...

    Your weight loss, gains, goals, etc.....should only be for you, and you alone.

    That is what I did...
    I also started LeanGains, like the writer of the article did, but I didn't go into it wanting abs to flaunt or whatever.

    I did it, because I wanted to prove to myself, that at 36, I could have the will power, self control, discipline to get as lean as I was back in my early 20s.

    But the writer is correct, trying to meet others expectations will never make you happy.

    "To thine own self be true." :wink:

    I can't believe you just quoted clueless.... :laugh: :happy:

    :tongue: :tongue:

    pffft....
    Shakespeare no?
  • TXRanchGirl
    TXRanchGirl Posts: 303
    I tell ya..when your world is yanked out from under you..you really figure out what type of person you are..it can sometimes me the motivation YOU need to change..thats what I did..

    Ive struggled with an awful body image since I was young..I delibertly wore clothes that I could hide in..because I felt fat..Id look in the mirror and want to cry..that damn voice in my head yelling "fat,fat,fat"

    Changing and becoming leaner and fitter has helped..I enjoy looking good..I am having fun dressing nicer..in clothes that actually fit. I put effort into myself now..and little by little I feel my self worth and self confidence returning..initially, getting fit gave me an outlet to forget about emotional pain..but its turned into a lifestyle now...while in the beginning I was obsessing over being someone's "ideal"..in the end..this is what I needed..for myself.

    Make no mistake..that voice is still there...I battle him every day...I haqve muzzled my demons..or Id like to think I have..most of them..but some days they break the muzzle. I had hope that mabey ONE day they'd stay muzzled for good..I dont know if thatll happen.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
    I don't understand this at all. I've heard a lot of people say they where not happy after the weight loss but I am. I'm finally happy with my body! Of course there are some things that I can still work on but I love it! I only lost 40 pounds and I've never been happier about myself.

    I don't know what I did/didn't do that makes me different from everyone else. I was unhappy about my body and now I'm not. Not sure why that's not the case for more people. Life's too short. Either learn to be happy the way you are or do something about it and become happy!
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    To me, getting abs wouldn't make me happy. Not being fat would make me less unhappy.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I don't understand this at all. I've heard a lot of people say they where not happy after the weight loss but I am. I'm finally happy with my body! Of course there are some things that I can still work on but I love it! I only lost 40 pounds and I've never been happier about myself.

    I don't know what I did/didn't do that makes me different from everyone else. I was unhappy about my body and now I'm not. Not sure why that's not the case for more people. Life's too short. Either learn to be happy the way you are or do something about it and become happy!

    There is a difference about being unhappy with your body, and just being unhappy. A lof of people think getting fit will make their life so much better. They fail to realize that they will just have a more fit/attractive/thinner/whatever body, but still have the same life. As the author put it, if he could just have abs he would be happy. He didn't say he would be happy with his core, but that it would make him happy. He was unhappy without abs, and then found he was also unhappy with them.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    I don't understand this at all. I've heard a lot of people say they where not happy after the weight loss but I am. I'm finally happy with my body! Of course there are some things that I can still work on but I love it! I only lost 40 pounds and I've never been happier about myself.

    I don't know what I did/didn't do that makes me different from everyone else. I was unhappy about my body and now I'm not. Not sure why that's not the case for more people. Life's too short. Either learn to be happy the way you are or do something about it and become happy!

    There is a difference about being unhappy with your body, and just being unhappy.

    This. Sure I look better, but my life is a mess right now. Losing weight doesn't fix everything; in fact it can create other problems.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    I don't understand this at all. I've heard a lot of people say they where not happy after the weight loss but I am. I'm finally happy with my body! Of course there are some things that I can still work on but I love it! I only lost 40 pounds and I've never been happier about myself.

    I don't know what I did/didn't do that makes me different from everyone else. I was unhappy about my body and now I'm not. Not sure why that's not the case for more people. Life's too short. Either learn to be happy the way you are or do something about it and become happy!

    There is a difference about being unhappy with your body, and just being unhappy.

    This. Sure I look better, but my life is a mess right now. Losing weight doesn't fix everything; in fact it can create other problems.

    :cry: :cry: :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
    I don't understand this at all. I've heard a lot of people say they where not happy after the weight loss but I am. I'm finally happy with my body! Of course there are some things that I can still work on but I love it! I only lost 40 pounds and I've never been happier about myself.

    I don't know what I did/didn't do that makes me different from everyone else. I was unhappy about my body and now I'm not. Not sure why that's not the case for more people. Life's too short. Either learn to be happy the way you are or do something about it and become happy!

    There is a difference about being unhappy with your body, and just being unhappy.

    This. Sure I look better, but my life is a mess right now. Losing weight doesn't fix everything; in fact it can create other problems.

    I guess you just have to know what exactly you're unhappy about. I can see how that can be hard for a lot of people.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Not a bad read....

    I will only say this about it though....
    And for anyone else out there...

    Your weight loss, gains, goals, etc.....should only be for you, and you alone.

    That is what I did...
    I also started LeanGains, like the writer of the article did, but I didn't go into it wanting abs to flaunt or whatever.

    I did it, because I wanted to prove to myself, that at 36, I could have the will power, self control, discipline to get as lean as I was back in my early 20s.

    But the writer is correct, trying to meet others expectations will never make you happy.

    "To thine own self be true." :wink:

    It seems to me that the guy in the article was not trying to meet other people's expectations, it was his perception of what others think / how he expected that he would be treated and seen differently. Not that other people actually had these expectations for him.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    Not a bad read....

    I will only say this about it though....
    And for anyone else out there...

    Your weight loss, gains, goals, etc.....should only be for you, and you alone.

    That is what I did...
    I also started LeanGains, like the writer of the article did, but I didn't go into it wanting abs to flaunt or whatever.

    I did it, because I wanted to prove to myself, that at 36, I could have the will power, self control, discipline to get as lean as I was back in my early 20s.

    But the writer is correct, trying to meet others expectations will never make you happy.

    "To thine own self be true." :wink:

    It seems to me that the guy in the article was not trying to meet other people's expectations, it was his perception of what others think / how he expected that he would be treated and seen differently. Not that other people actually had these expectations for him.

    Maybe you are right....

    but if he was looking to others for acceptance, support, applause, etc....

    Then he wasn't doing what he was doing for his good.....or his own desire really

    But I just read it differently I guess
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  • nonstopper
    nonstopper Posts: 1,108 Member
    Once you get to what you want you want more.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Not a bad read....

    I will only say this about it though....
    And for anyone else out there...

    Your weight loss, gains, goals, etc.....should only be for you, and you alone.

    That is what I did...
    I also started LeanGains, like the writer of the article did, but I didn't go into it wanting abs to flaunt or whatever.

    I did it, because I wanted to prove to myself, that at 36, I could have the will power, self control, discipline to get as lean as I was back in my early 20s.

    But the writer is correct, trying to meet others expectations will never make you happy.

    "To thine own self be true." :wink:

    It seems to me that the guy in the article was not trying to meet other people's expectations, it was his perception of what others think / how he expected that he would be treated and seen differently. Not that other people actually had these expectations for him.

    Maybe you are right....

    but if he was looking to others for acceptance, support, applause, etc....

    Then he wasn't doing what he was doing for his good.....or his own desire really

    But I just read it differently I guess

    Agree. Two sides to the same coin.
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
    While I agree with this to an extent, I kind of feel like I do not fit the norm.

    I have been on MFP for a few years now. Back in 2011, I lost about 30 pounds with MFP. I didn't reach my goal weight, but I was happy with myself. I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight, so basically it weighs on me daily (no pun intended). It's really all I think about. When I'm in public, I'm always wondering who is staring at me? Who thinks I'm fat? Who is looking at my rolls?

    I know it's superficial, but it's the truth.

    So, for me, I KNOW I would be happier with myself if I reached my goal weight.
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
    While I agree with this to an extent, I kind of feel like I do not fit the norm.

    I have been on MFP for a few years now. Back in 2011, I lost about 30 pounds with MFP. I didn't reach my goal weight, but I was happy with myself. I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight, so basically it weighs on me daily (no pun intended). It's really all I think about. When I'm in public, I'm always wondering who is staring at me? Who thinks I'm fat? Who is looking at my rolls?

    I know it's superficial, but it's the truth.

    So, for me, I KNOW I would be happier with myself if I reached my goal weight.

    Also, I should note I gained the weight I am trying to lose now through pregnancy. Like, a ton of weight. A TON OF IT.
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
    While I agree with this to an extent, I kind of feel like I do not fit the norm.

    I have been on MFP for a few years now. Back in 2011, I lost about 30 pounds with MFP. I didn't reach my goal weight, but I was happy with myself. I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight, so basically it weighs on me daily (no pun intended). It's really all I think about. When I'm in public, I'm always wondering who is staring at me? Who thinks I'm fat? Who is looking at my rolls?

    I know it's superficial, but it's the truth.

    So, for me, I KNOW I would be happier with myself if I reached my goal weight.

    Also, I should note I gained the weight I am trying to lose now through pregnancy. Like, a ton of weight. A TON OF IT.

    It won't solve your subconscious thoughts. I gained my weight from pregnancy, too. And those thoughts were mine.

    Then, after a few off handed comments about being anorexic and being too skinny (even though I'm currently bulking and no longer in weigh loss). I worried people thought these things of me. That I'm a fitness junkie or that my metabolism is superior and that's why I'm thin, that I don't have to work to be fit... I have over prominent rib bones at a healthy weight, my stomach and thighs are marred with stretch marks. I constantly picked myself apart, irregardless of my triumphs.

    Moral to the story: I dug my way out of my mental slump by realizing I was beautiful before and I am now. My goals aren't a cure all. I am proud of myself for what I've accomplished but when we start focusing on negatives, it becomes all we see. So, I urge you to focus on the great success you're accomplishing and not the goal. This is a lifetime we have before us and this is more than just about being fit etc.
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    Certainly not true for everyone. My weight is the only thing I'm unhappy about in my life. I'd settle for the world around me not judging me/devaluing me because of my weight, but since I can't have that, the weight needs to come off, or I'll be stalled in my career, despite being an expert in my field. I'm sick of not being taken seriously or being treated like I'm lazy or stupid.
  • BarbellApprentice
    BarbellApprentice Posts: 486 Member
    Great article. It is interesting to read the responses and see how people interpret the piece based on their own context.

    "No one gives a **** if you have abs." truth bullet

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