To all binge eaters only, what has worked?

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  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Than you all again, . I think identifying triggers is massively useful, tonight I was making a sandwich for my son, bread, salad, etc, when he rejected it and I ate it, I wasn't hungry, I wasn't in the mode, but the bread sent me over the edge! fortunately I only brought one seeded bread roll!

    I think the hardest thing I have found is trying to be "normal", when I read advice from the NHS or read some of the "health professional" views, it's case of moderation. I just don't do that and I don't know why I'm in that mode and if it's all emotional then it is very deep routed...as I remember bingeing at a very early age, just because I was getting a sugar hit! Also professional advice seems to be to relax around food and I did this years ago and gained a of weight. When in the zone I don't have a "I am full" off button, whereas my husband will say "I can't eat any more". I can!

    Fasting is attractive because I know days whereby I haven't eaten (not on purpose!) I really appreciate my evening meal, I feel truly hungry and recognise feeling full. maybe I'm a product of being split with food!



    Lack of sleep is huge (sorry I can't remember the previous poster's name) and I must be mindful that there's nothing I can do about some nights will be bad (kids!) and when that happens the next day I'm almost sure to overeat/binge - it's a huge trigger for me.

    Thanks for listening guys (I have a child pulling at my leg so have to sign off quickly).
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    I didn't read the entire thread, just the OP.
    I wanted to offer support and feel free to add me. I know what binging and compulsive eating looks like, and I can tell you with confidence that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I suffered from eating snack after snack, from raiding the cabinets, from secretly getting cakes from 7-11, and then some more food, I had horrible tummy aches from eating too much, I was always somewhere between not hungry but wanting more and more food all the time. That was always the case in my life. I don't feel like that anymore and I have very good tools I've developed.

    First thing is nutrition: I learned which foods make me really full and those are fruits/veggies/lean protein and whole grains (surprising?). I learned which foods trigger over eating and I know exactly my limit with them. I can have cookies maybe 2-3 times a week, but only like 1-3 each time. After that, I am all crazy about the carbs. I also learned I need a very big lunch, and to snack less.

    The second thing was the emotions. The way I see it is like a sink full of dishes. Let's say there's a spoon. No big deal, we leave it there. Next thing you know it's piled so high and you can't take it anymore. So each time something bothers you and makes you upset you have to address it right away. If you already have a lot of issues, take the time and clean them out one by one, and then keep up the habit. If you always address your issues right away there's less of a chance you'll find yourself mindlessly eating. You'll know immediately why you're eating and what the fix is. It's a real practical tool that I use all the time. The way I got to it was by asking myself a million questions until I knew what caused the over eating and what would be a good solution. There is more than one thing, but you can untangle it.

    Remember that changing your relationship with food takes time and a lot of trial and error, and if you focus on being freed from the slavery to food, and focus on being happy, I promise you that one day you will come out of it.

    I hope you're doing better.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
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    I went through intensive treatment at an ED clinic and now I see a therapist twice a month and my regular doctor once a month. Specifically, what helped me the most was CBT and DBT.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
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    Intermittent Fasting.

    #problemsolved

    Can you explain how this helps with an eating disorder? It seems to me that this is a form of disordered eating that would not help someone with an ED move towards recovery. I could be wrong but it goes against everything I learned when I was in treatment.
  • yohealthyparisian
    yohealthyparisian Posts: 13 Member
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    I struggle as well with binge eating.
    What works the most for me is cooking all I eat by myself. Then I make it appealing, take picture and put it on the Instagram. Sounds crazy but it really helps for me. As I get followers I want to cook more healthy and pretty food and when I get bored, what I want is not to eat, bur to cook.
    Also I noticed that if I eat one cookie, I want to eat the whole box. So I figured out what kind of snack make me feel satisfied and full without triggering me. For me it's low fat greek yogurt with cacao powder. Anytime I feel like I want to binge I eat it. one, or two, (or three). But after 3 of those I definitly don't want to binge anymore. And each of it is about 80 calories. It's sweet and it makes me feel full so my feeling afterwards is pretty much the same as after a binge, except for the guilt.
    I still have bad days, of course, but 3 months ago I binged every day sometimes twice a day. Now it's about once a week, which is a big improvement. And my crisis are "smaller" if I can say so. It used to be about 2500/3000 cals at once. It's now never more than 1000/1500. I'm down 4 kilos in 2 months and I feel happier and healthier.
    I hope it helps. I'm very sorry for my poor English...hope you still can understand.
    All I want to say is that you are not alone and also, it's not for ever...you'll get better honey!
  • decblessings
    decblessings Posts: 113 Member
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    I started reading this post yesterday, and I actually think it was triggering, so I hope it hasn't had that affect on anyone else. After work yesterday I ate over 1300 calories, which certainly wasn't a massive binge, but I felt like I was able to somehow reign it in before it got too out of control. I can relate to the manic feelings that have been described here though. I know the post was started over a month ago, and I'm not sure if you're only looking for people who only binge, but my binges are followed by a purge 99% of the time (last night wasn't - which felt like a success!). I've been working on recovery for a few years now, and I'm doing way, way better, but I still end up having a binge to some degree a few times a month and purging probably twice a month. I've definitely noticed a link between my monthly cycle and the binging as well as stress being a trigger.

    Things that help me are avoiding trigger foods altogether, which is sometimes easy, but other times, once the idea of a food is in my head, I can't get it out. I try to not let myself get TOO hungry, but it is a quick switch from being hungry to being TOO hungry. Not knowing the calories in a trigger food is another trigger. At least if I'm going to feel like a failure for eating a poptart, I know about how many calories I ate and can try to assure myself that one poptart didn't ruin my progress and I don't need to give up and eat ALL the poptarts.

    Not aiming for too low of a calorie goal is helpful as well. I can do well on a low calorie goal for a bit without feeling overwhelming hunger, but then it catches up with me. That's where I am the last few days. A friend brought me an amazing donut on Tuesday morning, which was a rest day from exercise and I'd been maintaining a pretty big deficit for a week or more, and although I knew logically I wasn't doing any dieting damage by eating that dumb donut, it was triggering. People that I work with joke that "Melanie won't eat _____." They just think I'm REALLY healthy, and no one really understands that I'm trying to avoid triggers. Even though my husband knows my struggle, he doesn't understand and will want to take the kids for ice cream, which I usually watch them all eat.

    I feel like a fraud sometimes because to most people I look like a health conscious person with such wonderful willpower...
  • lemurwaffle
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    I have been a binge eater since I was tiny. I have been slim and bigger and always binge ate. I have posted on here before but again seeking support. i had a day today whereby mu husband was at home and brought a bag of raisin loaf, I had "one slice and was in full binge mode (I am not anti carb but for me, one bite leads to a temporary feeling of euphoria and an extreme urge for more!).

    It's worse at certain times of the month 9sorry guys) but other times it has no rhyme or reason. I tad to find, foe me keeping trigger foods (i.e. those I binge on, out of sight helpful) but I am ashamed to say when I am in binge mode I am like a crazed woman, seeking anything I can find, I will even frantically drive out to the shops to find bread/cake/cereal to binge on. I am ashamed of it and have posted before.

    If you haven't been a binge eater thenI think you will find it hard to understand, I am just seeking advice from those who have suffered. I say suffered as it isn't a happy place to be, well I lie, it can feel euphoric, combined with feeling compelled to just want more even when your stomach is hurting, you feel sik, full, you have other things to do but eat- yet all you want to do is eat and eat a lot.



    If anyone else suffers

    Hi

    I find that eating frequently (every 3 hours a most) really helps me. Plus finding things to do to keep me busy. It's difficult but I have not had a binge for 1 month now. Taking it one day at a time helps, plus not having trigger foods in the house helps. I used to get in the car and drive to the shop for junk food (a huge bag of Doritos and salsa was my trigger). I find it helps to do something else when you get the urge to do that, like have a bath or paint your nails to keep yourself busy. I read somewhere that doing something else for 20 minutes should cause the urge to binge to subside, can't remember where I read that though. Also, seeking professional help would help you, I think. I have a book called 'Overcoming Binge Eating' by Christopher Fairburn' was SO helpful to me, if you want to try to manage this yourself in the first instance.
  • decblessings
    decblessings Posts: 113 Member
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    I was a binge water for 10 years, recovered for 7. Getting pregnant and then pregnant/breastfeeding for six years ( three kids each 22 months apart) really helped me start to think of my body as a temple. I couldn't stop for myself but I did stop for them. It was so hard to stop binging and like an alcoholic I feel I'll never be fully recovered. Here are some things that helped in the beginning.
    The book feeding the hungry heart. Online support. Telling my husband every time. Giving myself permission to eat anything; no restricted eating. No chronic cardio. Keeping a journal. Prayer. Walking after meals. Eating frequently.

    So can I ask... how does your husband handle it? Mine just looks at me with such disappointment in his eyes... It makes me feel like I can't tell him. I'm the worlds worst liar, but there have been a few times that he's asked me if I've been "behaving myself" and I just say yes because I can't take his disappointment as another sign of failure. And he's silly enough to think that if I don't mention it that I've been good. Plus he can eat ridiculous quantities of food and not gain an ounce and so to him it's not abnormal to eat a lot at one setting. (He is very active, has a manual labor sort of job, and a fast metabolism!) He brags to me about the quantities of food he eats, even though I've told him it's hard for me to hear it. He doesn't do it to hurt me. He just can't comprehend how it could bother me and he thinks I'll be impressed that he ate 1 1/4 large pizzas...
  • doctorregenerated
    doctorregenerated Posts: 188 Member
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    These are the steps that I have come up with for myself. (I have binge eating disorder.) Perhaps they will help you as well :)

    TO PREVENT BINGEING
    1. Log. Everything. All of the time, every meal. Get completely invested in weight loss. Make MFP your best friend. Come here as much as you can and keep talking to people, keep getting involved in groups and discussions. When logging and planning takes up so much of your brain space, it will help when the binge comes on. You'll have more ammunition and energy to fight it.
    2. Pre log. If you are prone to going for 2nds at your meal, prelog your meal.
    3. Plan your meals in the beginning of the week, and then again in the beginning of the day for any changes that need to be made. Get excited about making new things and finding ways to fit in healthy choices.

    WHEN THE BINGE BEGINS: Because, for Binge Eating Disordered people, the urge will never be completely gone. You may lose a hundred pounds and feel great, and then some stressful event will happen or some food will set off a trigger you thought was gone. If not dealt with properly, you will be back again in a year on MFP making a post called "100 pounds to lose. Again."
    1. Log as you binge. Eat as you log into MFP and start logging whatever is going in your mouth. Watch those calories adding up.
    2. Close your eyes and breathe. Think about the work you've done. Think about the other people on this site that are suffering just like you with the same disorder. Fight for them. They would want you to stop. Put the food down.
    3. Get a journal or a blog going. Start writing about what is going on in your life. Type with both hands so you can't put food in.

    AFTER THE BINGE IS OVER:
    1. Log it. As much as you can. Look at the numbers and realize that you won't be losing weight today. But realize that depending on the binge, you WILL resume losing weight tomorrow or next week. Its a numbers game.
    2. Drink a lot of water.
    3. Forgive yourself. Get right with your head. Talk to people in your life or on MFP. Keep moving forward. FORWARD. Not backwards. One binge should not lead to another one. You have not failed. You have succeeded if you log it, deal with it, and keep going.
  • joanna_82
    joanna_82 Posts: 151 Member
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    It took me a long time of feeling exactly like you feel, OP, and really feeling that I wanted to stop bingeing but never being able to do it. To resist polishing off whatever was in front of me.

    And I wonder whether to truly get over bingeing, you have to get to a point where you really decide that you are going to tackle it. To accept that you are strong and determined enough to resist those feelings and to be able to sit with how you feel and find a way of coping with it.

    At the end of the day, bingeing is a reaction to something as a coping mechanism and it isn't about food- unless , of course you have restricted too much and then you just have to give in to the hunger.

    Have you thought about writing down a list of reasons why you want to stop bingeing? Are there reasons beside weight loss that you want to tackle this? Does it cost you money? Does it make you feel awful, are you sick or get a stomach ache for example? How does bingeing help you? Do the positive things about it outweigh the negatives?

    It might help you get some perspective on how you feel about the situation and it might help you move forward with it.

    For me, eating regular meals and regular snacks, and not banning any foods at all has made a huge difference but I just made the decision I wasn't going to do it anymore. And I stuck to it. There were times I felt sad, I felt angry, I felt scared and usually I would drive to the shop, buy a block of chocolate and a bag of crisps and sit at home crying while eating. Instead, I let myself cry, i wrote down how I was feeling, I called a friend. And it passed.

    I'm not saying what i did will help anyone else as everyone is different, but to confirm to you that it is possible to deal with something like this. What i don't know is how I am going to do long term, but almost 3 months in, I feel that going back to bingeing would destroy all the progress I have made, so the temptation of doing it is less and less.

    Hugs xx
  • eggomylegos
    eggomylegos Posts: 146 Member
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    The only thing that has worked for me is therapy and lots of it. I see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders once a month. I'm patient, mindful, diligent, and I work very hard at it every day. I slip up sometimes, but I'm more in control today than I had been in many years.

    This.

    It took more time and help than I ever knew I needed. Doing it alone is just too hard. I needed someone to be kinder to me than I was willing to be to myself, then slowly teach me to curb the behavior before it started.

    When it starts to get better, the freedom from the cycle of pain and guilt feels so good. It actually feels better than the binges.
  • steelreader
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    I struggle every day, last year I lost 43lbs and kept it off for 6 months, but I feel I've lost it, I think about food most of the day and what I want to eat, I also drive to the shops and sit and eat in the car so family don't see me I feel greedy buying everything I want so then drive to another shop and do it again I am fully aware of what I'm doing I just cant stop, Its a compulsions I can't control, after reading some of the comments I've made an appointment to see my doctor to try and get some help, one person ate 5 brownies wow I wish I could stop at 5 there's overeating and then there's out of control and feeling worthless after, only someone who has hid this for a long time will probable understand what I mean and how I feel.
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Thank you all, today was a binge day for me, even though I had an afternoon full of activities planned! So now I'm attempting to enjoy the afternoon feeling sick, lethargic and bloated. I was fine when I woke up- then at 10:30 (oddly my energy slump time) I raided cereal (we are staying at relatives and it was only my son and I at home this morning). I just ate and ate.

    I started reading the fairbourne book. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I thought it would say keep all trigger foods in the house and eat them freely and don't worry about it- but it doesn't say that.

    I don't know how I will ever control the wanting more feeling when eating a bowl of cereal. I rememwbr years ago not worrying about weight and I used to have bean flakes for breakfast and would be bingeing three hours later.

    To the poster who suggested IF. I get this actually. It seems appealing ofcourse to anyone who has an ed I suspect as it seems controlling and of course some people restriction and bingeing are vivacious circles. But I don't binge eat in the evenings generally, I don't know why. I also make sure I eat with others and I don't feel manic or tired In the way I do during the day. I found when fasting I would actually end up eating when I got hungry but it allowed me to stop thinking "it's breakfast time now, it's snack time now, it's playmate time now better supply food. It's lunchtime , it's afternoon. Snack time, it's dinner time" for me I don't need to keep thinking about food. I would happily/unhappily (it feels like a compulsion) eat all day. At the same time I get this could lead to disordered eating ie end up snacking all day or bingeing in response. But I think I have so much access to food (I feel so guilty saying this when so many people are without) I have forgotten what hunger feels like.

    People have suggested to explore why we binge in the first place. For me, without fail, if I have a period of time I am in the house, completing boring tasks (ie washing/ ironing) and have trigger foods around. I'll eat them. I will tell myself one portion is fine but everytime I am in the situation above I end up bingeing. Even if the consequences are dire. So BOREDOM combined with TIREDNESS and exposure to Large quantities of trigger foods.

    I'm sorry this isn't a well put together post- I'm attempting to msg through my phone!

    To another poster oddly, I can find writing about this and reading this post puts me into a binge mode but I guess that's anxiety. Unfortunately I think I personally numb myself with food and I'm currently living in a bubble, I dip my toe put of it at moments and it can feel so uncomfortable I dive back into it again!

    Thank you for all your support people. I think I need to think of a structured plan. I am recognising I need to get up and get out of the house pretty quickly in the morning as for me, mornings and day times are huge binge times. I am not going to have a trigger food free house as my husband needs the stuff in the cupboards and pays the bills, plus we have children (some aren't mine) and they have Nutella, yikes, cereals and bread (interesting kids love all my trigger foods but they don't eat them in excess).
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Steel reader I'm sorry you have this too. I hear you. I will eat all of whatever is there, it's almost an anxiety, a non stop feeling. I think the only thing that is working for me so far is to keep busy, if I'm doing something whereby I can't physically be eating at the same time.

    I'm sorry you are in this too. There is a way out- look at all the people who have posted (so kindly) who have made progress. We can too.

    Hugs
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Joanna 82

    Reasons to stop bingeing

    1. An odd one- I love food but I want to start appreciating it again, I used to love feeling hungry and having a nice thai meal, savouring every bite and enjoying the evening. Now when I get to meal times I already feel sick (apologies for my madness!)

    2. I want to be able to function, I feel so lethargic, foggy headed, forgetful, moody, not motivated, thirsty(!), sick, bloated...! I don't get much achieved during the day.

    3. I would like to feel motivated. Energetic. Happy with myself.

    4. I would like to be more resilient

    5. I would like to enjoy something other than food (so guilty saying that as I adore my son/family and love being with them but don't think I give my "all" as my mind is always on food!

    6. To not feel tied to food. I am either making it for others or eating

    7. I would like to look nice. Not find that my clothes are constantly getting tighter


    8. To not feel like an anoxia freak when around food

    9. I want to strt living. Most days I have binged prior to 11.am!


    I thought I would share xx
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Joanna-82 I think the banning foods is a tough one. At this stage, I don't want to ban foods but my "trigger" foods I just can't eat unless it's portioned off for me and I don't have access to more. I am the girl who can be making egg sandwiches with flaxseed low GI bread and end up eating all the bread in one go! The bread is healthy, I hadn't banned it, yet I binge on it...

    So really stuck with what foods to include or ban. I know what a healthy diet is, I know what a healthy plate if dinner should look like. It's the moderation bit that is a nemesis for me.
  • samanthaxb
    samanthaxb Posts: 54 Member
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    I have been accepted into a clinical program for Binge Eating. With nutrition counseling and medication. Thinking about writing about my experiences in a MFP blog. ... Would anyone be interested in this?

    Fellow Bingers / Ex-Bingers feel free to add me.
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I was a binge water for 10 years, recovered for 7. Getting pregnant and then pregnant/breastfeeding for six years ( three kids each 22 months apart) really helped me start to think of my body as a temple. I couldn't stop for myself but I did stop for them. It was so hard to stop binging and like an alcoholic I feel I'll never be fully recovered. Here are some things that helped in the beginning.
    The book feeding the hungry heart. Online support. Telling my husband every time. Giving myself permission to eat anything; no restricted eating. No chronic cardio. Keeping a journal. Prayer. Walking after meals. Eating frequently.

    So can I ask... how does your husband handle it? Mine just looks at me with such disappointment in his eyes... It makes me feel like I can't tell him. I'm the worlds worst liar, but there have been a few times that he's asked me if I've been "behaving myself" and I just say yes because I can't take his disappointment as another sign of failure. And he's silly enough to think that if I don't mention it that I've been good. Plus he can eat ridiculous quantities of food and not gain an ounce and so to him it's not abnormal to eat a lot at one setting. (He is very active, has a manual labor sort of job, and a fast metabolism!) He brags to me about the quantities of food he eats, even though I've told him it's hard for me to hear it. He doesn't do it to hurt me. He just can't comprehend how it could bother me and he thinks I'll be impressed that he ate 1 1/4 large pizzas...

    The thing he doesn't realize is that categorizing things as "good" and "bad", makes our situation even worse. It's even more as a trigger. Because then, when we've been "bad", we just go all out. I think one of the most helpful things for me was to quit labeling foods. Food is food. Nothing is good and nothing is bad. That is hard to work on, but very important, I think.

    I just want to say that you should feel SOOO proud that you didn't purge last night. That is a victory in itself!
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Doctorrwgener thank you for your long post (with lots of great advice). I think that's the next stage for me, when I binge I think I wouldn't want to log it- I eat anything and everything!!! It would be more like two packets of cereal...!
  • onmyown70
    onmyown70 Posts: 233 Member
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    Samantha- yes please! Xx