should i eat my exercise calories?

I've also had a lot of problems "getting this" topic..im starting to understand now and its so helpful!! thanks for the info and im hoping i could convince my fiance to understand this because he always thinks that because im always "hungry" and eating (i stay within my calorie range for the most part) plus i exercise 4-5 days a week, he thinks that im not doing myself any good. He tends to not eat on a regular basis thinking he will loose weight by just snacking on pickles and peanuts etc..and never having a regular meal like me. He only allows himself to eat on the weekends and basically nothing during the week! i tell him he's crazy but i dont know what goes through his brain, plus he's now started working out with me and running at least 3 times a week which i think he would need even more calories for that fact! im starting to worry about his health and how "healthy" this could be for him! any suggestions on how i could help him change his bad habits???

so since my cals are set to 1200, and it says my bmr is like 1600....i need to eat 1200 without exercise to make up for it then eat whatever i may burn off to make up for the loss of exercise?....AHHH! CONFUSING....so shouldnt i technically be eating 2200 a day?....does the cal counter take into consideration the bmr when suggesting what your cals be daily?

The calorie counter on MFP will always keep you at the deficit you need to reach your goal of x amount loss per week. If you chose 1 lb loss/week (1 lb = 3500 cals), the site will give you a daily calorie goal that includes a 500 cal deficit. If you add in exercise, the site will add in calories, to keep you at that 500 cal deficit. So you will still lose your 1 lb a week, even if you eat those exercise calories. Yes, it considers your BMR in setting the goals for you.

If your daily goal is 1200, and you don't exercise, you should shoot for 1200. If you do exercise, say 500 cals worth, then you should shoot for 1700 cals.

so since my cals are set to 1200, and it says my bmr is like 1600....i need to eat 1200 without exercise to make up for it then eat whatever i may burn off to make up for the loss of exercise?....AHHH! CONFUSING....so shouldnt i technically be eating 2200 a day?....does the cal counter take into consideration the bmr when suggesting what your cals be daily?

The website does all the work for you. If you enter your calories eaten, and you enter your exercise calories burned, it modifies your target calories on the food page.

To see what I mean, go to your food page and look at "Calories Remaining". Then add some cardio (just as a test), say 30 mins of jogging. Then go back to the food page and look at "Calories Remaining" again.

Basically, it's not necessary to do the math yourself, other than to understand why the target changes. Just trust the number, because as others have said, it already takes into account your goal and how many calories you need each day to lose the weight.

How can I change my daily goal to be closer to my BMR? Im having headaches from eating my 1200 calories hihiihihi and Im not exactly losing weight so much.

Are you saying you want to adjust to have more daily calories? There are a few ways.
1. Change your goal weight loss target from 2 pounds per week to 1 pound per week. It's slower but you get more calories. That's under My Home->Goals->Change Goals->Guided
2. The easier way to get more calories and still lose is to add more exercise

For everyone who is confused on all this you should read this book: Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle by Tom Venuto. It is the BEST book and explains everything. I'm 5'4 and weigh 169, I eat between 1400 - 1600 calories per day. I break it up into 5 Small meals and 2 snacks. Snack & vitamins 1- 8am 125 calories Meal 1- 9am 250 calories, Meal 2- 11am 250 calories, Meal 3- 1pm 250 calories, meal 4- 3pm 250 calories, meal 5 - 5pm 250 calories, snack & vitamins 2- 6pm 125 calories. It really works, I was starting to plateau and actually started following what the book said to do and it was like magic, i lost 2 lbs almost immediately. If your not getting enough calories your body will slow down your metabolism and the amount of calories is burns and actually store fat, but if you eat more calories (HEALTHY and BALANCED) your metabolism speeds up and burns more calories making it more effective Read the book it's AMAZING

It took me a little bit to understand why you eat your exercise calories, and while I haven't been doing MFP long enough to really see a lot of results, in this regard I'm trusting those who have done it!

In a way it's scary for me to eat my exercise calories. But I'm at 1200 calories and so it is scarier to me to think about going into starvation mode than to think about not losing as fast as I can. I'd rather lose a little slower than really hurt my body...and I'm trusting that by eating my exercise calories I am both losing as fast as is healthy AND being kind to my body!

That being said...not enough can be said about exercise! It makes me feel so good, even when I'm hurting from it (thanks to Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred), and walking and hiking brings me peace I don't find elsewhere.