Discouraged and Hopeless

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sjmrox4ever
sjmrox4ever Posts: 8
in Motivation and Support
Hey, this is my first time posting on MFP. I've been using the app for years. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Currently, I'm at a healthy 140, being 5' 5.5", but as I start to see the progress a part of me just feels like I don't need to put in as much effort anymore. I'll eat really well, within my target calories for 1-3 days, with lots of exercise (I don't eat back my exercise calories usually), but then after a few days I'll go on a complete binge and undo all progress I've made and then some. I'm feeling really discouraged and I'm afraid I'm going to start gaining this weight back. Can anyone offer me any advice?? I'm so proud of my progress and now I feel like it's all going to disappear.

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  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
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    Can you remember what triggers the binge? What are your thoughts? Maybe, if you can pinpoint what is happening right before the binge, you may be able to stop yourself or do something different.
  • sjmrox4ever
    sjmrox4ever Posts: 8
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    Well tonight for example, I had eaten well all day, and by dinner time I was hungry. My friend ended up ordering pizza, and after telling myself I would eat one piece, I ended up eating 4. After that I just felt that there was no point in restraint and ate cookies and pudding. So hunger is a trigger, but I also frequently do this when I'm not hungry at all. Sometimes I think "oh i've been eating healthy lately, this won't hurt" and then I take it too far.
  • jameselam12
    jameselam12 Posts: 9
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    I've fallen prey to this cycle myself - I find the key is to eat smaller meals, more often, and make sure to include sources of lean protein in each. Hunger is an extremely powerful force, but you know what? once you're full, that craving for pizza you had, no longer exists. Meaning, if you ate a big chicken salad at 450 calories, you'd feel just as full, and just as satisfied, as 900 calories worth of pizza -- and your brain wouldn't be craving pizza anymore.

    Does that make sense?

    Really, a lot of is a total mental game. The mental barrier is often harder than the physical one. Remember one other thing: humans are creatures of habit. Get into a habit long enough, and you'll start doing it rote, as if it was always a natural part of you.
  • Squamation
    Squamation Posts: 522 Member
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    Just because you fall off the wagon doesn't mean you should set it on fire.

    OR

    Just because you pop 1 tire doesn't mean you should slash the other 3.

    Cravings are normal: If you're craving pizza then have a slice and the craving will go away- you will not feel compelled to eat the whole pie.

    Binging 99% of the time has nothing to do with being hungry and more with satisfying a feeling- lonely, empty, scared, happy. Really think about what was going on with that pizza. Especially when you mention that after eating the 4 slices you went on to eat even more. This is does NOT sound like it's about hunger at all.

    Much luck.
  • Christineclendaniel
    Christineclendaniel Posts: 367 Member
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    Wow, there is some really great advice in this thread. Thanks for sharing!
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
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    I'll eat really well, within my target calories for 1-3 days, with lots of exercise (I don't eat back my exercise calories usually

    This is what stands out to me. According to the BMI you are within a healthy range already. If you don't eat back your calories or get as close as you can get, you feel like binging. You are in a spot where you should be eating most of your exercise calories back. You will find you won't binge as much.

    I would really consider eating your exercise calories at this point and see if this will help stop the cravings.

    Make sure you drink lots of water.
  • sarahmoo12
    sarahmoo12 Posts: 756 Member
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    I used to have that mindset of oh well I have already ate half a pizza may aswel finish it now and then justifying the cals to myself by saying well I cant eat bad food again tomorrow (even though I did) or I cant waste food like that. Took me a long time to get out off it but I just started putting in everything just before I ate it n thought do I seriously want to be over by an extra so many cals.
    I am at a point now that I can usually talk myself out of junk, dsnt always work (last night and flakemeal biscuits O_o) but im a lot more in control than I used to be and my slip ups are not as often and not as damaging to my results. Good luck !!
  • dhall2011
    dhall2011 Posts: 209
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    I think 1) There are a lot of psychological aspects to eating that you may be dealing with and 2) You are probably eating too few of calories. I agree with the idea that you should be eating back your exercise calories but I hopped over on to your page, and you have your food diary public so I looked at it. I think your calorie goal is too low. If you are concerned about giving yourself too much leeway make those extra calories foods that are easy for your body to process. Nutritional quality of food is huge. Eat more nutrient rich foods.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    Hey, this is my first time posting on MFP. I've been using the app for years. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Currently, I'm at a healthy 140, being 5' 5.5", but as I start to see the progress a part of me just feels like I don't need to put in as much effort anymore. I'll eat really well, within my target calories for 1-3 days, with lots of exercise (I don't eat back my exercise calories usually), but then after a few days I'll go on a complete binge and undo all progress I've made and then some. I'm feeling really discouraged and I'm afraid I'm going to start gaining this weight back. Can anyone offer me any advice?? I'm so proud of my progress and now I feel like it's all going to disappear.

    This actually DOES sound like hunger to me. You say you are eating within your calorie limits, plus "lots of exercise" and not eating those calories back. After a few days of that, it's not surprising you get hungry enough to trigger a binge. Try adding a couple hundred calories a day, and sticking to that every day. There's no reason to starve yourself, and you have very little to lose, so slower is better.
  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
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    I used to have that kind of mentality. Since I'm off track already then there is no point, I should just eat everything I want. But tell yourself that off track by 300 calories is totally different than 3000 calories. You have to reason that. Also tell yourself that you are eating what you want, don't think like I can't eat this or that until I lost all the weight. For me, it makes me crave all those things. Once I'm off track, I would think I have to eat everything or I can't eat it until who knows when. It's going to take practice and discipline but you can do it if you keep at it. Don't limit yourself from certain foods, allow treats if it's within your calories target and eat reasonable amount. Good luck!
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    This is 90% mind games - so here's something you might try -

    Your calorie goal per day has a +/- 300 calories, but your goal for the week is fixed. exercise calories can be +/- 1 day from consumption, e.g. if you do 500 cals of exercise on Monday, you can 'save' those calories for Tuesdays pizza... or if you have pizza on Tuesday you can burn the calories exercising on Wednesday....

    What is the impact? it means that once you've bust your calories for the day you haven't ruined your week - so there is a real intensive not to binge It also encourages a 'save and spend' attitude to calories which is actually quite sensible: I find that its the day after I do long runs get hungry, not the day that I actually do the exercise.

    Good luck
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
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    Just went through your diary and I seen where you have a -645 deficite in two days then you binge on the third day. It is your body's way of telling you you're not eating enough.

    At this point, I would continue to keep track of everything you eat, going up and down is not good.

    Are you drinking enough water? Sometimes water and hunger can be confused. Drink a glass of water and wait an hour, if you're still hungry then eat something.

    You're either eating too much or two little. Start a maintence diary and just keep track of everything and document everything. That way you have a better chance of finding a good balance.
  • sjmrox4ever
    sjmrox4ever Posts: 8
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    To the people who said I may not be eating enough calories, I have not thought of this. My diary is public, but I usually don't log exercise to avoid eating back calories, and for fear of overestimating exercise and then overeating the calories back. So on the days where MFP says I have 100 calories left for the day, I really have closer to 300-500, and then the deficit closes and becomes a binge. The binging started when I started exercising more and stopped logging and eating back exorcise calories. This is a HUGE help and I definitely see a pattern. I'm going to start logging exercise and eating most of these calories.

    To whoever said just because you fall of the wagon doesn't mean you have to burn it, your post was really insightful, I'm going to come back to this thread and read all these responses next time I feel hopeless and feel like binging. Thank you everyone for your help on this, I really feel a lot more confident, hopefully logging the exercise will help keep my calorie intake more stable on a day by day basis.

    Thanks again everyone :)
  • jacqui2494
    jacqui2494 Posts: 93 Member
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    There seems to be a common thread amongst many of us. We stick to the program, do the exercise and then let loose and over eat. I even tried to make myself sick last night after eating too much, without success, I am happy to say. That would start a whole new set of problems. LOL

    The reality is that so much exercise does make us hungry and that is okay. I have to add a disclaimer here. I am one of those "know it all and can't put it into practice" kind of people.

    I am trying to tell myself this as well as everyone else. We have to plan for the times we are caught out and starving. It happens, in a rush to get to work and forget the lunch and arrive home ravenous stop at the shop on the way home with no will power or arrive home with nothing available but quick unhealthy snacks.

    Today I put 40g of almonds into my handbag so that I have a fall back position when it happens again. I also made a huge pot of vegetable soup. I find that if I arrive home ravenous, which happens a lot, a plate or two of soup really does the trick. Vege soup is also so good for you.

    Good luck all.
    Always the Optimist!
  • jacqui2494
    jacqui2494 Posts: 93 Member
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    I have been a member for one whole week, using a Fitbit and this site. I have found that I have to eat my exercise calories. I don't want to but I am so hungry, I do it. I know that you often have to eat more to lose fat to avoid starvation mode. But like I said, I know it all but not ever had the success that I crave, despite reading every diet book. program that has come my way.

    "Never give up" is my motto.
  • Kotuliak
    Kotuliak Posts: 259 Member
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    The binging started when I started exercising more and stopped logging and eating back exorcise calories.
    If this is true, it is also the key to the solution.
  • grho
    grho Posts: 71 Member
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    Just because you fall off the wagon doesn't mean you should set it on fire.

    OR

    Just because you pop 1 tire doesn't mean you should slash the other 3.

    These are great analogies! Love it! I also often have this problem and I am going to make an effort to remember these.

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