How do I get over my fear of gaining weight?

bluecat145
bluecat145 Posts: 144 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?

Replies

  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Yes, to speak to a professional as to have such a degree of fear about your weight is not very healthy, especially as you are not remotely overweight. Your self worth should not be dictated by a number.
  • FoxyLifter
    FoxyLifter Posts: 965 Member
    Advice? Please see a therapist. You need to talk to someone experienced with this topic.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    I agree with the above. 1200 is a tiny amount of calories. It's fuel for your mind and body. If the food is good, it is fuel for your soul as well. It is as unhealthy to fear eating as it is to fear walking or drinking water or going to the bathroom. It's what our bodies do.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Agree that you should find a therapist. The notion of possibly gaining a pound or two should not be paralyzing - you took it off once, yes? You could do it again. It is nothing to fear, and not even visible to anyone else.

    When you're ready to start maintaining, increase your calories slowly. That should help your confidence. Every week that you don't gain, add 100 cals to your target. Make sure you eat to at least your target every day.

    Be aware that when you start lifting, you WILL retain water and that WILL show up as weight gain. It will come back off in several weeks. Just know that it's not fat, and it's not going to look like you gained any fat, either.
  • njmark72
    njmark72 Posts: 99 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?
  • njmark72
    njmark72 Posts: 99 Member
    Sorry... You say you have a high body fat percentage. But you are 5'4 and weigh 112lbs. This is most certainly NOT a high body fat situation... Your BMI is close to 19 which is on the low end of normal for your height weight and sex...

    Mark
  • kessler4130
    kessler4130 Posts: 150 Member
    I lost over 100 pounds and now am trying to build muscle, and I have my concerns over gaining weight but at the end of the day... to build muscle you need to be in a surplus, you will gain fat, then just cut weight again. Working out at maintenance to build muscle is very difficult as you may not have enough calories to actually build muscle and you will just spin wheels. It is not supposed to be easy, your body is very smart and does not want to build muscle you do not need to survive, you have to trick it, and that is not easy.
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    Set yourself a range, weight yourself everyday, and when the reading gets to the far edge of your range, just cut back calories, it will quickly go back down, then slowly increase your calories back where the were again, then repeat the cycle again, works with me..
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?

    Being a 19y/o female 64inchs tall at 112; to maintain your weight at a sedentary setting is around 1625 calories/day. You're scratching the surface of being underweight per BMI Index. So Im not sure what the issue is. With that being said it appears to be more to it than just your fear of weight gain. I would recomment talking to someone professionally as to WHY you have a fear and work on self-image. Good LUck!
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?

    #1 You're not fat. I'm not sure where you got your information that told you that you're fat, but you're not.

    #2 Eating less than 1200 calories is not a good amount for you. I'm the same height as you, and I weigh 121 and eat about 1500 a day (but my maintenance is 1760).

    #3 Based on what you've said, I agree with some of the previous posters and seeking some help wouldn't be a bad idea. You need to learn how to see yourself in a positive light and how to create a good body image, which it sounds like you currently don't have. The value of a person is never tied to their number on a scale. It's just not.

    I've also dealt with body image issues and it's very hard, so I hope you can find a way to properly deal with yours.
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    concur with Mark, your body fat could NOT possibly be described as "high" DO NOT tie your self worth to a scale... Gravity changes every day... and that is what weight is... it indicates how much pull the earth has on you during any given moment in the day...

    People tend to imagine gravity as this one constant thing on the planet... and it simply is NOT constant... you could gain a lb by drinking a lb of water... then gain a bit more simply by walking from one level of gravity to the next...

    YOUR current diet (and caloric restrictions) may also be adding to your thoughts of anxiety... an improper diet can not only mess with you physically it can mess with you emotionally... Balance is the key... and creating realistic expectations for yourself.

    Loose the scale.. and make a healthy fit you the priority... if you maintain a balanced and reasonable diet... then couple that with physical activities... AKA recreational sports like volley ball, soccer, swimming, hiking ..running climbing. and even some gym time you will begin to develop a greater personal identity and how you look will be replaced with how you perform...

    do NOT discount the advice here that you might benefit from counselling... EVERYONE can reap the benefits of an objective personal opinion... and that's pretty much what counselling is... JUST an objective opinion...

    Best of luck
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,027 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?
    Your BMR alone is over 1350. That doesn't include exercise, so how do you figure that 1200 is maintenance?
    Your issue is being tied to a number. Till you get over that, the fear will always be there. How do you get over that? IMO, by getting rid of your scale and relying on the mirror and your clothing as measurements.

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • maleckathryn
    maleckathryn Posts: 20
    i undestand because i lost alot and gained smoe back. And saying, you did it once you can do it again, not necessarily the case. My body isnt reacting the same way it did before and the lbs arent dropping. Ive kicked up my excersize and hopefully that will jump start weight loss.

    but saying "you did it once you can do it again", that was what i said as i gained the 20 lbs. Not working out so well.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?
    Your BMR alone is over 1350. That doesn't include exercise, so how do you figure that 1200 is maintenance?
    Your issue is being tied to a number. Till you get over that, the fear will always be there. How do you get over that? IMO, by getting rid of your scale and relying on the mirror and your clothing as measurements.

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    QFT..... When I was losing all my weight I stepped on that scale and lived and died by that number to the point it literally was driving me insane... I had my body lift surgery in Sept. 2012 and went into maintenance after 3 years of weight loss and it was a major adjustment but over time I stopped getting on the scale and focusing on the number and started looking in the mirror and put on my 36 in waist Levi's and as long as they fit the same then I was content.... I stay off the scale now except to weigh in once a month for logging purposes and I am within a few pounds of what my logging says I should be and my Levi's still fit the same so I call that a Win. Until you can move past putting a all or nothing approach to the numbers, you will continue to live in fear... I agree with everyone that maybe you should seek some professional help... Best of Luck.....
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Sorry... You say you have a high body fat percentage. But you are 5'4 and weigh 112lbs. This is most certainly NOT a high body fat situation... Your BMI is close to 19 which is on the low end of normal for your height weight and sex...

    Mark
    BMI does not equal Body Fat.

    Please do not confuse the two.
  • maryanndambrogio
    maryanndambrogio Posts: 17 Member
    just be yourself and do what you think is best for you health wise... do not listen to those whom are jealous and just stick to what you feel better with... sometimes friends or families leave us out in the cold.. so then time to muscle up and start taking action only for yourself ... do what you think makes you happy... its up to you to be more specific in weight loss... stick to you guns and do it all the way to your final goals... keep it up and do it for you .... no one else lives inside your body to know how you feel... think goal weight ... you can do it.... GOOD LUCK!!!
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    Speak to a professional, honestly. Because it sounds like you might be struggling with disordered eating and/or some form of body dysmorphia.

    Realistically, deep down, I'm sure you know that eating over 1200 will NOT make you gain. Eating 1,500 will not make anyone gain. Unless they have some health problem that makes them gain on a low amount of calories (and some people do - when you age the amount you need goes down, as well - but these are exceptions, not rules).

    You're 112 lbs. That already sounds like it's on the lower end of the BMI charts for your height, and if you keep eating at 1,200 it will get lower. Look, all I'm saying is that not everyone with disordered eating issues or other problems related to weight, body image, and food restricts at less than 1000.

    Having a high body fat % is not the same as saying "I'm fat". ... It just means you have more body fat than muscle.
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    i undestand because i lost alot and gained smoe back. And saying, you did it once you can do it again, not necessarily the case. My body isnt reacting the same way it did before and the lbs arent dropping. Ive kicked up my excersize and hopefully that will jump start weight loss.

    but saying "you did it once you can do it again", that was what i said as i gained the 20 lbs. Not working out so well.

    Not really helpful for someone who might have eating issues.
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    I'm 19, 5'4 and 112 lbs. I have a high body fat percentage, however. I was told that I can lower it by building more muscle. To do that, I would have to eat around maintainence and lift. Myfitnesspal has me eating 1200 a day, which I regularly go under because I'm scared it'll make me gain. Maintainence is 1,580. That's a lot for me, and I'm scared it'll make me even fatter.
    The idea of gaining weight is horrifying to me. I feel like a lot of my self worth is tied into the number. I don't want to be fat. How do I get over that fear? Do you have any advice?

    I agree w/all the folks recommending speaking to a counselor as soon as possible (and specifically speak to one who works with young women in issues of body image). I'm no therapist, but based on clinical definitions, you are describing some strong signs of an eating disorder called Anorexia Nervosa. I'm not saying you have it - the therapist will have to diagnose you - but it sure sounds familiar....

    A person with anorexia has an intense fear of gaining weight. The person thinks about food a lot and limits the food she or he eats, even though she or he is already thin, or even too thin. Anorexia is more than just a problem with food. It's a way of using food or starving oneself to feel more in control of life and to ease tension, anger, and anxiety. It can cause you to not act like yourself. This person may talk about weight and food all the time, not eat in front of others, be moody or sad, or not want to go out with friends. People with anorexia may also suffer from depression and obsessive behavior.

    So as you can see, it's very serious. Even if you don't have this full-blown (yet), it can increase over time if you don't get it treated. The good news is that you are so young that you have a chance to stop this train before it gets too far. But it's probably better to be safe than sorry and ask someone about it to see if you're headed in that direction.

    Here is a short quiz you can take to see if you might be struggling with this ED:
    http://casapalmera.com/assessments/eating-disorder-self-assessment/

    And here is a link that describes the condition + has all sorts of resources of people to contact for help:
    https://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.html

    Would love for you to keep us posted on how you're doing! :)
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    I understand the fear of gaining weight. I spent most of my life in that state and believe me, it was not enjoyable. Yes, talk to someone about this. It will change the way you look at yourself.

    I lost weight on 1500kcal a day plus my exercise cal burned. I only weighed myself every two weeks and I don't own a scale. It's very liberating to know that you can eat a good amount everyday and not gain weight, but if you don't know what will do that, you won't be able to get there.


    AFAA Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Zumba, Zumba Gold, Aqua Zumba registered Instructor
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Yes, to speak to a professional as to have such a degree of fear about your weight is not very healthy, especially as you are not remotely overweight. Your self worth should not be dictated by a number.

    QFT
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    Yes, see a professional.

    In the mean time up your calories gradually. Say 100 a day for 1 week then another 100 and get used to eating more.
    Start the strength training, preferably under supervision since you're having some nutritional problems and I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

    Be prepared to gain some weight with the strength training. Muscle will retain water when you first start using them. Don't freak out over it!

    I bet when taking it gradual, you won't see a big weight gain, and will eventually maintain on more calories. You may also feel more comfortable upping the calories a little at a time instead of adding 300 or 400 right away.

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