Finding the time??

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

I am really struggling with time issues, and I could really use help/suggestions.

Before you tell me that "everyone has time to exercise" or "if it's important to you, you'll find the time", please let me give you a little background and explanation.

The times when I have been overweight and out of shape have always been during times of extreme time constraints. I used to be a very active member of MFP. That was a few years ago. At that time I worked 7 miles from home and my children were younger and not that active.

During that time I:
Rode a bike to work
Ran 3-4 miles a day 4-5 days a week
Played tennis on the weekends with my sister
Was about 70 lbs lighter.

A few years ago, I had to take a job further away. I was no longer able to ride a bike to work, and my commute ate into my running time as well. Around the same time my children started getting more involved in activities. I had three daughters in school, and between them we had to deal with scheduling for: ROTC, Tennis, Swim, Gymnastics, Tumbling, Voice Lessons, Musical Theater, Drama, and Chorus.

I joined the YMCA so that I could workout during my lunch at work, but pushing myself to go, go, go, go all the time stressed me out more than you could imagine. I had to have my lunch to read a book and relax or I would lose my mind. And I don't think that expecting a little down time is unreasonable!

Here I am, three years or so later, having gained that 70 or so pounds, miserable and out of shape. I have tried to make this work before, I believe this is my third attempt, but I have struggled with the time constraints every single time and I would get frustrated and quit.

I don't want to quit this time, but here is my problem...

If I don't exercise, the calorie limit I have to stick with is unmaintainable. I have been eating consistently < 1500 calories a day. For two weeks I managed to fit in a little bit of exercise (swimming & walking), and I lost 6 lbs. This week was the first week I haven't managed to find time to exercise, and I gained .6 lbs. Even with the low calorie intake.

TDEE: 2133
BMR: 1750
Calorie Goal: 1450

Because people always seemed to make me feel guilty for not "making the time for exercise", I actually calculated my weekly schedule as thoroughly as I possibly could...

For those of you who don't believe a person can be too busy to fit in a workout:

There are 168 hours in a week.

Full time job: 40
Lunch: 5
Contract work: 20
Personal Hygiene: 3.5
Commute: 10
Shopping: 3
Cooking: 2
Driving kids around town: 5
Dealing with kids issues (activities, homework): 3.5
Date Night with hubby: 2
Sleep: 56
Cleaning: 3.5
Reading (half hour before bed at night): 3.5

That totals 157 hours a week, leaving me a whole 11 hours a week free! Yay!! Please keep in mind these are averages and this list doesn't include the extras that always seem to pop up. Last week I spent about 3 hours shopping for a new washer and dryer and about 2 hours helping my oldest write a resume... this week I have to take the kids shopping for school clothes. This also does not include time spent with my children.

Okay... rant over....

Right now about the only solutions I can see are to shop for my own food, and eat as clean as I possibly can (my family would not allow me to make such a drastic change to their diet!) and/or find a job that allows me to work from home either full time or at least a few days a week.

Both of those solutions are going to be rather difficult to manage.

What I need from all of you are suggestions on things I can try? Easy foods that I should have in my home that I can eat without worry? Ways to incorporate healthy foods into my home without my family rebelling? Suggestions on how to cut down on some of those hours in my schedule to make more room for exercise?

I'm getting so frustrated, and I don't want to quit again. I'm open to any and all suggestions. I need to figure out how to make this work without driving myself crazy!

(I already park further away from the office and take the stairs... )

Sorry for the book...

bhbekc · August 2014

Hey there. I have some suggestions for you being that I feel the same way you do! First off, I can't stand when people say "being too busy is not an excuse!"...because it really is. The people who say this are ignorant if they don't understand the way America works these days.

I am a single mother and work 40 hours a week. We have similar schedules! First thing I want to tell you is to be easy on yourself! It is so easy to rush rush rush and bring yourself down if you don't exercise. DON'T let your mind bring you down! Go ahead and tell yourself that you can't do everything all the time. Tell yourself that if you exercise for even 10 minutes a day it than you have succeeded. That is where you START. If you're hard on yourself and stressing over how you are going to fit in workouts, then, well, you aren't going to be going too far.

Set super small goals but tell yourself that they are major accomplishments if you succeed in doing them. Like I said, a good place to start is working out for 10 minutes a day. That is totally possible and you can totally accomplish that. Once you start getting in the habit of this 10 minutes per day routine, then other goals will start popping up in your head. Working out will become so much easier. Seriously, it is so important to go easy on yourself, I believe that is the most important part of getting in shape, and it prevents us from going in circles.

I have those 10-Minute Solutions workout DVD's. You can get them at Wal-Mart. I would highly suggest getting one and just doing a 10 minute workout a day! Maybe give yourself a couple weeks of doing that and you will gain confidence and probably will be super motivated to squeeze more time in for exercise!

Best of luck love!

Lisa

meshashesha2012 · August 2014

sounds like most of this is kinda your fault, sorry to say. sounds like you're trying to be super mom or something, doing everything for everyone which doesnt really do much in terms of helping kids learn how to be independent and take care of certain things themselves.

there's no reason someone should reach the age of 18 and not know how to take a bus, cook a meal, clean a bathroom, wash a load of laundry, etc. not saying that's your kids BUT going by some of the things you written, i do wonder..

Also why are the kids involved in so many activities? 5 hours to drive them around probably means they are easily spending twice that in those activities. when do they have time for schoolwork? chores?

anyway rant over.. here are some ideas:

- is your hubby helping out? if he isnt then tell mr. king to get up off his throne and help

- how old are your kids? are they old enough that they can start finding their own way to their extracurricular activities? i mean if one is old enough to be working on a resume then surely they are old enough to figure out their own way to and from their activities.

- you have 3 kids and none of them have household chores?! they should be cleaning, doing laundry, and helping with cooking if they are old enough. this goes for BOYS and GIRLS.

- if you are doing the cooking then they should be eating what you make. if they dont like it then they can either help make meals or hush. ask yourself, are you a mom in a household or a waitress at denny's? and so what if your family "rebels" what are they going to do? maybe they need to learn you arent their slave.

but good luck. i think this is more an issue of how you see your role with your family than trying to fit in MORE. i mean you can easily get 10 extra hours a week by communicating to your peeps that it's time for them to stop acting like baby birds in the nest waiting for you to chew the worms up for them

embracethepainfitness · August 2014

Third time is the charm, right? But seriously, kudos to you because you're dead set on reach your goal!!

Anyway, something I do is I plan my meals for the week, put it on a weekly calendar, and hang it on my fridge. This way I don't waste time trying to decide what to fix while the family is saying, "I'm hungry." It takes a little time to plan, but when you do, it will save you time grocery shopping, possibly money off your grocery bill, and it will keep you within your calorie goal for the day. I also have a space on the weekly planner for my workouts. I write it exactly what workout I want to do that day.

And for meals and recipes, I use my crockpot to have things cooking up while I'm busy. Back to the meal planning, when I know what I need for the week, I'll make a bunch ahead of time... Like if recipes call for chicken, I'll bake a bunch of chicken at once so it's already done and ready. You can keep in the fridge for a few days or even freeze it.

With only approx 11 hours leftover during the week, I'd find a workout video to do at home that's quick and only 30 mins a day, if not shorter. That way you still have some free time to yourself. If you need workout ideas, I can help. I've done a ton. LOL

Hope that gives you some ideas.

Good luck on your journey!

jeanniewes · August 2014

Sarah......Out of those few short hours you have left a week could you not take AT LEAST 30 minutes a day for a walk or a run or a bike ride? I am told that everyone needs at least 30 minutes of cardio a week.... The only other suggestion I could give would be too cut out 30 minutes of your sleep. Get up early or go too be late?

I keep LOADS of Fruits and Vegetables in the house. That keeps me from eating junk food and too many processed foods. There are also High Protein Shakes out there which you could use for one meal perhaps?

I really dont have any other suggestions and hope I did not disappoint you. I was wondering where you went. I saw you once on the walk/jog/bike 120 mile challenge....YOU DONT HAVE TOO BUST YOUR BUTT trying too make 120 miles... I do it because IF I set it lower I will become LAZY...lol....I encourage everyone just too do what they can.... Hope you find something that worls for you!!! :flowerforyou:

VeryKatie · August 2014

- if you are doing the cooking then they should be eating what you make. if they dont like it then they can either help make meals or hush. ask yourself, are you a mom in a household or a waitress at denny's? and so what if your family "rebels" what are they going to do? maybe they need to learn you arent their slave.

Idea: Just don't tell them you're changing the way you are going to cook. Just do it. I bet they won't even notice. Just have one night a week where you cook the usual stuff. Say a friend recommended a yummy cooking site to you (being skinnytaste.com <-- see totally a true story because we are now friends since I'm commenting) and you want to try it out IF they even ask!

Also, you said you read at lunch time. So could you not read every other night before bed and replace the other ones with a 30 min workout DVD?

kimny72 · August 2014

I'm going to leave the time issues to someone else, because I don't have the same responsibilities as you!

But I think your calorie goal is too low. If your BMR is 1750, you shouldn't be eating lower than that. If you eat to a more appropriate calorie goal, then there isn't as much pressure to burn more calories with extra exercise, and then you can just get in that 20 or 30 minutes when you can, right?

Regardless, good luck to you, I'm sure you'll get it figured out...

_Terrapin_ · August 2014

Shop every other week: 3 hours open

3 kids + 3.5 hours of cleaning, split the responsibility with them. 10 chores each. Free up almost 2 hours

Ask to work 4 days 10 hour days: gives you an extra day and less commute time

driving the kiddos to and fro: Can you jog/walk/etc while they do their activity?

Is your spouse capable of assisting with any or all of the above. Sacrifice for both and from both of you is what can make it work.

debubbie · August 2014

Possibly listening to books on tape while you walk or jog.

If you have access to an exercise bike (I bought a trainer for my bike and have converted it into a stationary bike, but can still use it on the road when I want to ride outside) you can read while you ride. The first time I dropped some weight was from riding an exercise bike while reading. I felt better because I had exercised and the workout flew by because I was reading (one of my favorite activities)

Possibly doing a couple of ten minute routines throughout the day.

Doing freezer cooking, where you prepare a bunch of meals in ziploc baggies to freeze and then place in a crockpot in the morning to be ready when you get home. You can google freezer cooking to get some ideas and recipes to help you.

Is it possible for your oldest child to sometimes drive the other kids to their activities or help with homework to give you a chance to exercise?

Dogwalkingirl · August 2014

Could you do something like squats (use a chair and get your bum down below the chair)..do 50 of them while you are cooking dinner? Hold a plank for a minute...do some push ups..do 100 jumping jacks. You can do a surprising amount in 15-20 minutes. It might involve waking up 30 minutes early or do squats on your lunch break at work??

It will ultimately be your diet that will help you lose weight anyhow so you need to make sure you eat at a deficit. I am lucky because my schedule is not like yours (I don't start work until 10am most days) but you need to make time for yourself.

bjshields · August 2014

It's time to ask for/get some help or drop something. Seriously, if you're THAT constrained you are doing too much. It's not healthy, mentally or otherwise. And I'm a Mom of 3, so I know. One year I had one in elementary, one in middle, one in high school. It was a hellacious year, but it's time to say NO.

elisa123gal · August 2014

I vote for scraping that list and rewriting it with it starting with 30 or 45 minutes a day for you to exercise..then make everything else fit..and cut out what doesn't.

basically ..make yourself priority one….then go from there.

dottie_f · August 2014

I have found myself in the same boat. I have turned off the healthy and gain 0ver 70 lbs in the past 2 years. I don't know where my time is going either, but one thing I do know spending time trying to figure out how to fit stuff in is a big time waster along with beating yourself up for not being who you were "then".

I was desperate just to find a way to start, I know what to do, just did not know how to start and be accountable. So I contacted a trainer, beside being an athlete, she also has a masters in Counseling Psychology, She has heped me in the past with my relationship with food and had a lot to do with the success I found in the past.

So we started a plan to put me back on track. FOOD first. Get your habits with food back, stock your house with what you need, find some recipes you can make easily and that your family likes. Keep it simple. Rotate those recipes throughout your month so the ingredients become staples in your home. EXERCISE not yet . She wants me to wait till next month and then just to keep it simple till maybe as simple as walking. What I did for now is put my Bodymedia fit on, what did I learn I sit too much at work so big reason for weight gain plus the bad food choices did not help.

I go out of my way to walk a little more doing chores or do the stairs one more time it's working because I feel more in control than I have in a long time. It will be one week tomorrow and I get on the scale to see the progress.

As for your family ask for their support tell them what you want to accomplish and what you feel is getting in the way, they may surprise you! Good Luck!

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

Thank you so much for all the suggestions. There are some good ideas in here that I really might be able to use, I just need to go back through and figure out what I can and can't accomplish and how to work things into my week.

There are a few things I would like to mention, though, based on some assumptions that I think were made in this thread (somehow I knew this would happen... LOL). My purpose in posting that weekly schedule was to try and get the point across that even though those numbers are perfectly reasonable, and in some cases really low (I spend a half hour a day on personal hygiene!), that it's nearly impossible to fit anything else in. Sometimes there is such a thing as not enough time!! I feel as though I have failed at making that point.

1. My company will not allow me to work four 10 hour days.

2. I do not stay for my children's activities. The two I still have to drive to activities are 15 years old, old enough to be just dropped off. My husband and I share the driving, he does at least as much as I do, usually more. So I cannot exercise during their activities, I typically go back home or do the shopping during that time.

3. My kids are NOT too busy. Each child has one, maybe two, activities going on at one time (one child did swimming & tennis, and those sports take place during different seasons, for example). Also, some of those activities were during school, but there were times there were after school rehearsals/practices and meets/performances/games that we had to attend. The problem is that there are three of them all active at once. It's not too much for them, it's just too much for us!

4. My children cannot get themselves to their activities. Our oldest is old enough to drive, and we have an extra car for her, and she helps out with the driving when she is available. But she also has a job and is in college. We have no public transportation where we are and the road they would have to travel to get to their activities is a very busy road with a 55 mph speed limit and no sidewalk. I will not allow them to walk or bike on that road. You would call me a bad parent if I did.

5. I cannot just change the families cooking, as I do not do the majority of it. My children cook, my husband cooks, and I cook when I can. Those two hours of cooking are Sunday dinner and maybe one other night a week (sometimes two). The rest is done by the family, and I cannot always control what they cook or how they cook it.

6. For those of you who feel I do too much and I should be enlisting the help of my husband and children... Please go look at those numbers again.

I have a family of five with one dog, three cats, a bird, and a fish. We live in a 2800 sq. ft., 4 bedroom house on a half acre lot with a pool. If you believe that I can take care of everything myself in 3.5 hours a week and I have no help, I would like to know what world you live in where that is possible.

I pay a landscaping company to take care of my yard, a pool company to take care of my pool, and I have a housekeeper who comes to my home twice a month to do my windows, floors, dust my ceiling fans, and scrub my kitchen and bathrooms.

My children have chores... three children-for six days: they alternate (1)kitchen, (2)bathrooms, (3)living room/family room Mon-Sat. They each get one of those chores per day, so each child gets each chore twice a week. On Sunday we have a whole separate list of chores that we do once a week, and they alternate those as well. They also clean the cat litter, pick up the dog mess in the backyard, clean their own bedrooms, and do their own laundry. And they do odd jobs as I ask them to, usually on Sundays. I do the kitchen and the cooking on Sunday, and I do mine and my husband's laundry plus the families towels and sheets on Sunday. The 3.5 hours of cleaning is my Sunday cleaning + helping out here and there throughout the week. NOT too much, and I can't push it ALL on them without doing my fair share.

7. My husband takes the garbage out twice a week, deals with the lawn care, pool care, and housekeeping help, does his fair share of cooking, and does more shopping and driving than I do. Plus he works an extremely physical job and deserves time to relax.

I think that's that... anything else??

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

Sarah......Out of those few short hours you have left a week could you not take AT LEAST 30 minutes a day for a walk or a run or a bike ride? I am told that everyone needs at least 30 minutes of cardio a week.... The only other suggestion I could give would be too cut out 30 minutes of your sleep. Get up early or go too be late?

I keep LOADS of Fruits and Vegetables in the house. That keeps me from eating junk food and too many processed foods. There are also High Protein Shakes out there which you could use for one meal perhaps?

I really dont have any other suggestions and hope I did not disappoint you. I was wondering where you went. I saw you once on the walk/jog/bike 120 mile challenge....YOU DONT HAVE TOO BUST YOUR BUTT trying too make 120 miles... I do it because IF I set it lower I will become LAZY...lol....I encourage everyone just too do what they can.... Hope you find something that worls for you!!! :flowerforyou:

Oh, trust me, I was NOT trying to actually reach 120 miles this month. I was just hoping if I joined the challenge it would push me to shoot for as many miles as I could. I even said that in the thread!!

smarieallen85 · August 2014

It's obvious you're never going to have the time that you used to have to exercise. I would focus on making that 1500 calorie day easier for you. I personally find 1500 calories to be quite a lot of food. I mean a couple 400 calorie meals and dessert! Not that bad. Though I'm not a great help because that's all I'm going to add.

onionparsleysage · August 2014

1) I love that you have Date Night with hubby scheduled in every week. That's adorable.

2) I only stick to a workout schedule when I'm busy if I get up early to do it. My recent love has been T25, which requires waking up about half an hour early. Somehow everything else still gets done. I've never tried to schedule out my hours like that, but if I can workout while working 80+ hour weeks you can fit it in too!

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

- is your hubby helping out? if he isnt then tell mr. king to get up off his throne and help

Hubby says that if this is what it's like to be the king he's ready to abdicate.

The rest of your comments I think I responded to above.

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

Third time is the charm, right? But seriously, kudos to you because you're dead set on reach your goal!!

Anyway, something I do is I plan my meals for the week, put it on a weekly calendar, and hang it on my fridge. This way I don't waste time trying to decide what to fix while the family is saying, "I'm hungry." It takes a little time to plan, but when you do, it will save you time grocery shopping, possibly money off your grocery bill, and it will keep you within your calorie goal for the day. I also have a space on the weekly planner for my workouts. I write it exactly what workout I want to do that day.

And for meals and recipes, I use my crockpot to have things cooking up while I'm busy. Back to the meal planning, when I know what I need for the week, I'll make a bunch ahead of time... Like if recipes call for chicken, I'll bake a bunch of chicken at once so it's already done and ready. You can keep in the fridge for a few days or even freeze it.

With only approx 11 hours leftover during the week, I'd find a workout video to do at home that's quick and only 30 mins a day, if not shorter. That way you still have some free time to yourself. If you need workout ideas, I can help. I've done a ton. LOL

Hope that gives you some ideas. Good luck on your journey!

OMG, I've been using my crock pot more and more lately.

Always interested in more workout ideas. Please, share!!!!

SarahRuthRuns · August 2014

1) I love that you have Date Night with hubby scheduled in every week. That's adorable.

2) I only stick to a workout schedule when I'm busy if I get up early to do it. My recent love has been T25, which requires waking up about half an hour early. Somehow everything else still gets done. I've never tried to schedule out my hours like that, but if I can workout while working 80+ hour weeks you can fit it in too!

Date night is soooo important. Notice nobody has suggested I eliminate that and use that for my workout time! Everyone says sleep less, clean less, cook less, drive the kids less... but nobody wants to say eliminate date night.

saraj9999 · August 2014

OK, so this is going to probably make me WAY unpopular because people will think I am being harsh. That is not my intention. I have, on occasion, needed a firm but gentle shake-up myself.

You get that there is one big choice your family made that is at the root your time problem, right? No one forced you to live where you do so that you have no alternative but to drive all over hell's half acre to go to work, ferry the kids around, etc.

Everyone makes decisions that show what their real priorities are. You wanted a big house and a big yard and a pool. Unfortunately, the choice to procure those things often means that you have limited selection within a village or town where the kids could safely walk or bike to their activities. Also included in the Suburbia package was a bevy of time (and money) stealing upkeep requirements. But that is what you wanted then, so that is what you bought.

If your choice of living location has led to circumstances which do not support the physical health of you and your family - because you are spending untold hours in cars (massive, motorized lazy-boy recliners), burning up your money and growing your behinds - maybe it is time to consider shaking it up and moving somewhere else. You could search thoroughly and find a place that is within walking or biking distance for most of your everyday needs and activities (grocery stores, school, etc.), most of the time. If your job is still too far away, find another job. It sounds like a huge change, I know, but life is much too short to spend such a large portion of it behind the wheel of a car. What you have tried to do so far has not worked. It may be time to think a bit farther outside of the box. Is it truly worth the many costs to stay where you are?

The goal is to have what you have stated is important to you (health) buoyed by the reality of your living circumstances, rather than standing in complete contradiction to them. And as a happy side effect, you could have more money as well as time. The actual dollar cost of our excessive driving in the US is usually greatly underestimated.

The awesome news is that it is fixable - if you so choose. The challenging news is that change is not always easy and tends to be vastly unpopular with the teenage set. It would be a fabulous life lesson for them though. I do wish you the best of luck!

Finding the time??

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