Need advice on a frustrating mental Fat Loss Journey

So anyways, I have lost about 12-15 pounds over the last 3 months, although I used to be able to lose much faster. That was back in the days when I used to starve and workout. Now I eat enough to satiate my diet, mostly lean meats, complex carbs, and veggies. My workout regimen is pretty great. I bike about 20-30 miles sometimes, or I'll walk about 10 miles, or I'll do the machines at the gym for about 2 hours. I also lift weights and the cardio has made me MUCH stronger than before, I'm able to do many more reps for every muscle now.

I also want to say that I don't feel worn out. I push myself on the stairmaster, but still not all the way to level 12, still right in the middle. I do that for about an hour. Bottom line, I do cardio about 6 days a week, weights 3 days. I do intervals on the side as well. I don't feel worn out, I feel challenged, but my body is starting to get in great shape and I'm feeling much lighter and have more muscle.

However, at 5 ft 11 with a big muscle build, there hasn't been a lot of people that have noticed, (not that I'm mentioning it) and the thing frustrates me the most is that many times after a weight training workout, my stomach looks fatter in the mirror. Although I am fitting in shirts I haven't worn in years, I look more huge in them, at least muscle wise. After a cardio, same thing. After an HIIT interval, same thing. But I do admit that I sweat a heck of a lot and my body requires me to drink a great deal of water. However, I thought when you drink water, your body releases water, so I don't see how that can make me look flabbier or rounder, but I'm guessing it does.

I still have about 20 pounds to lose. I'm sure by then it will be more obvious, but sometimes my mind can play games with me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the one person in the world that won't be able to lose the fat and reach his goals. I do put in my hours and eat pretty healthy and watch what I'm eating. I'm not eating more than 2,000 calories per day, but I'm also not starving myself.

Also, I have absolutely no problem going to balls to the wall in the gym. I love this, I love weights, I love long hikes, I love to challenge myself like an athlete does. I have no issues with how much fun I'm having. And often times I get this big high while I'm doing my cardio and I feel much lighter and I have much more energy. But then I get discouraged when I go to the bathroom, take off my shirt and I look in the mirror as if I gained 10 pounds. Maybe its water? Again, I have to drink water. For the amount of energy I spend and sweat, my body has to have tons of water.

So bottom line, I have no issues with motivation. I'm training almost like an athlete who logs in his hours, and I'm at the point where I'm not extremely worn out, my body craves it. Most of my improvements thought have been in being able to lift more weights, being able to run further and faster. I still have at least 20 pounds to lose and sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if Im the one exception who's body will not ever allow him to get to his goal. I know that's probably not true, but sometimes my mind can tell me that.

As for people telling me to scale it down, I don't really want to. I love what I do and I know my bodies limits. I'm in great shape and this is the type of intensity and volume I need.

I noticed I'm shier around people now. I have lost some weight and put on some muscle, but I have confidence issues. When people see me and it's as if they don't notice a single change, I almost want to cry inside. Maybe I need to lose more for others to notice. I mean I used to have a stomach that sticked out, now it's flat, just a little pudge, that's it. But I guess I wear big clothing and that doesn't help.

So there are 2 issues here. The first one is sometimes I doubt that everything will work out, no matter WHAT program I follow or what diet or what activity I do. The second issue is it hurts my feelings when others don't seem to notice. Because in the past, like 5 years ago when I went on an extreme diet, people seemed to notice instantly. But when I gained it back, nobody seemed to notice either, or they never talked about it. Now that I'm sorta losing it more gradually, they obviously don't really notice, and I put all this time in and sometimes feel upset.

I guess I don't mind being patient. but I want a guarantee that if I keep creating a deficit and continue pushing myself, everything will work out in the end. I'm totally more fit now, I bike 30 miles easily, I do stairs for an hour at a moderate pace without getting out of breath, and I have no problem training in any way or style. But sometimes I have this fear that my body won't let me reach my goal, and even when I do, it might upset me that people still may not notice. It's sort of a feedback thing.