I'm such a failure.

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Replies

  • rocabrera2013
    rocabrera2013 Posts: 8
    Hang in there!! I feel the same way at times and im having to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over! 11 years ago I weighed 248 pounds and have worked so hard at keeping the weight off and i have definitely fallen off the wagon many times over!! not sure how you were using the calorie counter incorrectly, but that is my fear too. Im not real sure how it all works but I'm here to motivate you! Dont give up! Dont let it beat you...its a totally beatable thing! Brush it off, get back in the mindset and plunge forward! Good luck!
    Ro
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
    “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
    ― Maya Angelou
  • susiessoaps
    susiessoaps Posts: 11
    Because of all of you I feel so much better today. I'm just going to keep at it no matter what I am beyond determined. Thank you all! Any advise you all have to help me in the smallest of way I would appreciate little tricks ideas anything! Susan
  • Sonyanw
    Sonyanw Posts: 8
    Take your measurements as well, might be gaining muscle... and never think of yourself as a failure!! It sounds like you are doing awesome!
  • teamike
    teamike Posts: 83 Member
    Well they say no more that 1500 calories a day well stupid me logged the exercise and I went by making sure I was always at 1500. so instead of only 1500 I made up for the deficit. so If I burned 900 I ate 900 more to keep it at 1500. I'm a fairly intelligent person I don't know how I could have been so stupid. I guess I should eat 1500 and no matter how many calories I burn don't eat so I'm 1500 ahead can't believe I didn't figure it out duh.

    It sounds like your are doing it right. It may be water retention, what is your sodium intake/water consumption like? I go through weeks like this then all of the sudden I will lose 4-5 pounds. Keep doing what you are doing and fine tuning your diet and you'll get there in no time.
  • teamike
    teamike Posts: 83 Member
    If you don't own a digital scale and weigh your food, you might be eating more than you think. Also, if you don't have a good way to calculate calories burned, since MFP and those cardio machines gives you an inflated number, switching the the TDEE method might be more beneficial for you because it will eliminate the need to eat back exercise calories since it's already factored in into your calorie goal.

    ^^^This^^^
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I'm not going to get into the "eating back exercise calories" fray. I'm also not going to comment on gaining muscle while eating at a deficit.

    My concern for you is how you are talking to yourself. Calling yourself a failure and looking at this process with that perspective is only going to make you give up. There is no failure - unless you out and out QUIT. Successful people on MFP know that you have to just get up every day, do what you need to do, and make it count. Sometimes you will not see progress, but trust me, if you stick with it - it will come.

    Focus on your health goals and not on the scale. Make a list today, of all the things that have improved since you started your plan.

    Beginning today, start telling yourself a different story. You are worth it! :flowerforyou:
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
    Glad you are not giving up! Too many people dont see anything successful or they mess up once and think "well, thats it... may as well give up and eat what I want since I am destined to be fat anyway". That is a terrible way to look at it. Some of the most inspirational quotes I have heard related to this, that really got it through my head that one mess up does not mean quitting are:

    Just because you trip on the top step doesnt mean you throw yourself down the stairs.

    Just because you get one flat tire doesnt mean you may as well just slash the other three.

    You mess up one day, you fix it the next and get right back on track. When things dont appear to be "working" you read and read and look hard at what you are doing and make adjustments, monitor, adjust, monitor, adjust, etc. until it DOES work. You are no different than anyone else - "it" does work, your body DOES work like everyone else's, you just have to figure out the owner's manual :)
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    I'm not going to get into the "eating back exercise calories" fray. I'm also not going to comment on gaining muscle while eating at a deficit.

    My concern for you is how you are talking to yourself. Calling yourself a failure and looking at this process with that perspective is only going to make you give up. There is no failure - unless you out and out QUIT. Successful people on MFP know that you have to just get up every day, do what you need to do, and make it count. Sometimes you will not see progress, but trust me, if you stick with it - it will come.

    Focus on your health goals and not on the scale. Make a list today, of all the things that have improved since you started your plan.

    Beginning today, start telling yourself a different story. You are worth it! :flowerforyou:

    This is fantastic advice

    Though it is rather scary the amount of people who think you gain muscle that easy. Professional Male Body builders will struggle to put 1 pound of muscle a month that is with optimum diet and lifting heavy and after years of training. Gaining muscle is not easy and even more so for women (sorry blame the man upstairs)
  • Chickaboo2014
    Chickaboo2014 Posts: 136 Member
    1) Your food diary isn't open, so no one can offer any real solid advice as to whether or not this has a dietary component or not. Are you logging *everything*? Every sample, nibble, and lick of a spoon, add to your daily caloric intake. Are they all present and accounted for?
    2) Your weight on the scale can be affected intensely by the amount of water your body is retaining. That can change for a multitude of reasons: muscle repair, menstrual cycles, sodium intake, overall hydration levels. Your bowel movements, or lack thereof, can also be playing a role as well. And all that is aside from what's going with your fat and muscle levels.
    3) Add a tape measure to your weight loss toolbox: the scale can, and will, mess with your head. A tape measure never will. Measure your: neck, shoulders, chest, waist, hips, upper thigh, calves, upper arms and forearms. Write those measurements down. Now every month re-measure. That will tell you far more surely what changes are happening across your body better than a scale and more reliably than your mirror.
    4) In the grand scheme of things, three weeks is nothing. I understand that it *feels* like an eternity once you've decided to lose weight, but it's not. That weight didn't appear overnight. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long trip. Be patient with yourself and your body. If you religously log your food and follow your calorie targets without cheating them, you'll be happily surprised to find that you're not a failure at all.

    Excellent response!
  • Edwardshar
    Edwardshar Posts: 271 Member
    If you are really doing that work then you need to watch your diet. Good luck.
  • straetta
    straetta Posts: 1 Member
    Don't get mad at yourself! I have the same problem, but make sure you take all the vitamins you need to balance your mood. I also take 5HTP to help with serotin production, it really helps!
  • amy8400
    amy8400 Posts: 478 Member
    Please promise you will never write again on MFP "I am such a failure." This is self-defeating talk and you're setting yourself up for more of the same. This is not America's Biggest Loser where in one episode you see an amazing transformation that took a year of non-stop intensity. I didn't lose weight right away, yet I was working harder and eating less than ever before. It took a month before I started to see results.

    If your diary isn't open, I can't offer any guidance there. Just make sure you weight everything...log everything. Eat back half your exercise calories. And never use the world "failure" in reference to yourself again. You are a winner for being here and putting in the hard work. Keep at it!
  • essa78
    essa78 Posts: 44 Member
    I am such a failure I struggle so hard to get in shape. I started insanity 60 day challenge three weeks ago and haven't lost a single pound in fact I gained three. I also started running 6 days a week in the evening 3.5 miles I have worked so hard and nothing. I hate the way I look I am so angry with myself it's unbelievable. Not a single change in my body. I won't quit but I have never been so discouraged in all my life I did realize two days ago I have been using my calorie counter wrong. I'm so distraught I can't believe I ruined three weeks of really hard work. I'm such an idiot! You know how hard it is to be 45 fat out of shape and do insanity and run I have worked harder than I ever have in my whole life and NOTHING!! AHHHHHH.........

    Would you let a stranger talk to you this way? You are not an idiot, or a failure. If you decide tomorrow you won't exercise at all and eat nothing but nachos and ice cream you STILL won't be a failure.

    You're working harder than you have in your whole life? Great! Just doing that means: You are not failing, you're working hard.
    Doing Insanity Challenge and running 3.5 miles 6 days a week?! That sound HEROIC!! I only dream about having that kind of dedication.

    An idiot? A failure? Quite the contrary my dear, you sound like one Super Righteous Babe!!

    BTW, no one here will ever tell you it will be easy, but it will be worth it.

    Keep working hard, but cut yourself a break once in a while, ok?
  • adamgoleafs87
    adamgoleafs87 Posts: 129 Member
    Ditto on the muscle gain...it weighs more than fat so you may still be losing fat. However, the calorie counter (as well as how many calories you burn during exercise) is a guideline and not exact...I find that occasionally I have to make my own adjustments to it if I am not meeting my goals.

    No it doesn't. 1 LB of muscle still weighs the same as 1 LB of fat. Common misconception. 1LB = 1 LB
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
    Don't think of it as a waste of time. Did you enjoy the workouts? The running? If not, if you thought it was "wasted time" maybe you should try an activity that you do enjoy - so you won't feel that way. Also, think of the exercise as doing something healthy for for yourself - maybe you weren't losing weight, but you were helping your heart, etc.
  • alpinehealth
    alpinehealth Posts: 85 Member
    Personally I NEVER eat my exercise calories. Just saying.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    The reason people say that 1 pounds of muscle weighs more is that they are looking at volume rather than pounds. Muscle takes up less space. Here is a link to an thread on here. I didn't read the whole article, but maybe some folks here should.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/518763-muscle-does-not-weigh-more-than-fat-and-put-away-the-damn-sc
  • OUCHilly1
    OUCHilly1 Posts: 44 Member
    Try not to be so hard on yourself emotionally and physically! It sounds like you are working out pretty hard. Try and remember that exercise is a stressor, a good stressor mostly, but also can be a bad one. Try to run only 20 min a day and focus on increasing distance ran over time in the same amount of time. Look into yoga or meditation to help control stress in your life. Think positive. Laugh at yourself when you screw up! We all do it!
  • 4seasonsml
    4seasonsml Posts: 1
    You are talking down to yourself. You are not a failure. Keep exercising, look for ways to change your diet, eat less bad stuff and more good stuff. Good health is a constant journey that we all have deal with defeats and victories. God loves you for you - so keep on keeping on and never give up. Stay positive!!!!
  • WilliamBThomas
    WilliamBThomas Posts: 6
    As a personal trainer, here is my recommendation. Quit worrying about what the scale reads and concentrate on what your body composition says! Have you had your body composition checked by a trainer with calipers? If not, that needs to be your starting point. Then take a look at your nutrition. Your already on a good training program. Keep it up and you will see results.
  • annpatalexa
    annpatalexa Posts: 38 Member
    Take your measurements. In two or three weeks do it again. My scale was stuck at 215 for a while (my first attempt at making a healthy life style) but my inches kept dropping. I ended up going from a size 14 to a size 10 still at 215 pounds.

    I've often looked back at this pin on facebook: http://tryit1nce.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/image11.jpg

    4 weeks for you to see a difference
    8 weeks for friends and family to see a difference
    12 weeks for the world to see it.
    Keep moving

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