Angry and ashamed at your fat/pre-weight loss self?

Well, my situation is a bit different than most of the people here. I was super skinny then got fat. So my skinny self haunts me! :frown:

P.s. Congrats on the weight loss!! You look great.

I'm trying not to concentrate on how I look. I'm trying to concentrate on the emotional stuff instead.

I'm asking myself questions such as:

What was emotionally going on that made me stop caring for myself?
Why did I think that I was less important?
What do I need to change to change this thinking?
What is my payoff for allowing myself to be overweight/out of shape?

I'm trying to concentrate on the WHY, so that I don't end up going back to where I was, as opposed to, " I look like absolute **** in my photos."

Angry or ashamed, no. Sad that I wasted YEARS not doing things because of my weight, yes.

I feel much the same way, but definitely have some anger about the wasted years on top of the sadness. I am working on letting go of that because while I'm not sure it's holding me back anymore, I know it's not helping.

I have struggled for decades with my weight, so to Numinousnymph, I'd say do whatever you can to forgive yourself. If that means writing "I forgive my past overweight self" 100 times per day, so be it. If that means therapy, great. If that means reading a book on shame, wonderful. If that means prayer, go for it. Whatever is going to work for you. Just work to let it go so it doesn't drag behind you as you move forward.

PS - Not sure how long it's been since you reached your current (and/or goal weight), but if it's a recent change, give your body a little time to adjust before surgery. You might be surprised at how much your skin will change -- it is still pretty darn elastic at 23. And if you have any plans to try to add muscle to your frame (and I'm not saying you need to or should, just IF), that will also affect your skin.

Parroting what other people have already said, but regretting something or wishing you could change the past does nothing but waste even more of your precious time!

Love yourself for the progress you've made and the progress you'll continue to make. Be proud of yourself. Losing weight/getting fit involves an amount of self-discipline that some people will never have. The focus and discipline you gain from this process will carry on to other areas of your life, be it your career, your relationships, or any other personal endeavors.

Don't feel ashamed, use what you've learned to focus on bettering yourself. Our time on this earth is limited; focus on making the most out of the years you have left :flowerforyou:

Mostly angry at myself because I was too weak to make a change (although to be fair for a long time I was convinced that my metabolism really sucked thanks to a dietitian I saw when I was 19 who totally discouraged me), and now I'll have the scars forever, literally (well, in the form of loose skin and stretch marks). But there's a lot of things I've done in the past that I would change if I could, and it's a bit pointless to live in the past... best we can do is try to do better now.

I don't hate my old self or feel ashamed. It was just who I was. I just knew I needed to make a change. In a lot of ways, I'm grateful to the old me because the medical issues and pain helped me to change. Without that, I wouldn't be exercising and treating myself right.

I'm not into shaming or berating myself. I'm body positive 100% of the way. It wasn't until I started being good and kind and fair to myself that it was even possible to start losing the weight, and I really believe that's the magic formula. There's never a reason to hate yourself. We live in a world that makes it easy sometimes, but I've worked really hard to learn to like myself, and I will never, ever give that up. Not if I magically get down to a size four, not if I gain back a hundred pounds. Not ever.