Relationship Weight

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Hi Everyone,

In April this year I moved in with my boyfriend. I have a beautiful home and a wonderful guy and in the process of loving my new life I have put on 18 lb. Iv always been conscious about my weight and watched what I ate but have become so complacent and ate myself into feeling frumpy and uncomfortable. Since joining MFP 10 days ago I have lost 7 lb. but have already hit a major brick wall...I have great support here and my boyfriend is great but he has never had to worry about his weight and as much as I know he means well I just don't think he fully understands how this feels.

I have told myself I will weight once every week and try to focus on the changes on my body rather than the numbers but it is so hard not to get hung up on those numbers. And to make matters worse I have severe tendonitis and plantar fasciitis which means I can't go to the gym and do the exercise I am used to doing when trying to get rid of weight. I know everyone has a different story and goal they are working towards but any support and help is always appreciated.

xxx

Replies

  • lillyrose2020
    lillyrose2020 Posts: 178 Member
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    Wow 7 pounds in 10 days is loads, well done! It would take me so much longer to lose that so that's really something!
    You must be in on the right track with your eating to have already lost that weight! I am not familiar with the medical conditions you have so I can't offer any advice on that. Does your doctor offer any advice on whether there is any exercise that you are able to do?
    Best of luck to you
  • monrizz90
    monrizz90 Posts: 26 Member
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    That's a ton of weight in 10 days! Nice job!

    The same thing happened to me when my boyfriend moved in (gained around 14 lbs). I'm starting to shed the weight again but am only down 6 lbs from that time. The numbers can be absolutely devastating if they don't do what you like (especially if you feel like you've worked hard!), but just keep going. You'll start to feel better the more and more you progress, even if the numbers don't.

    Just stay focused on your goal. :) Good luck!
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    Since you only have a little left to lose, put your focus on health rather than the scale. Also, doing some work with weights will help with body recomp. (maybe just some upper body while your recuperate). These links will help with getting your head right to be as healthy as you can. Weight loss is a side effect of that.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-path-of-success-631437

    Best of luck in reaching your goals! :drinker:
  • MissKTSW88
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    Thanks, I was so glad with my first number, heres hoping it keeps coming off. I'm allowed to do swimming so Im looking o start doing some aqua aerobics but I can't do anything like running, walking or cycling.

    Thanks for the support guy...slow and steady right ?!

    xxx
  • MissKTSW88
    Options
    Since you only have a little left to lose, put your focus on health rather than the scale. Also, doing some work with weights will help with body recomp. (maybe just some upper body while your recuperate). These links will help with getting your head right to be as healthy as you can. Weight loss is a side effect of that.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-path-of-success-631437

    Best of luck in reaching your goals! :drinker:

    Thanks, funnily I was just reading about doing some weight type exercise... never considered this before.
    xxx
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
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    I will not give congrats on a 7lbs weight loss in 10 days, that would be a 2450 calorie a day defecit to drop that much fat. Hopefully it was that you were retaning some water when you did your original weigh in. The concensus on this site seems to be that if you lose weight too fast you start dropping muscle. Try to stay within your calorie goals and maintain a 1 to 2 pound a week weight loss which you should find much more easy to maintain.

    Hope I don't sound too much like a Captain Negativity. Welcome to MFP, please read the post form other sucessful members, follow their advice, and enjoy your new body that is sure to follow.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Right. With only 11 pounds to lose, you're definitely going to have to learn to be patient. It's going to be a slow steady process from here on out but that's a good thing!! The slower it comes off, the more likely you're going to keep it off. Also, take the time to learn new behaviors, which also makes maintenance a bit easier.

    How about Yoga for exercise? That might actually help with the symptoms of your tendonitis and PF. It's not going to be much of a calorie burn but it will likely help with strength and flexibility. Just be careful to listen to your body.

    I think most of us women can sympathise with relationship weight. I personally think a big part of it is portion size. For the most part, men can eat more than us just to maintain weight because they tend to have more muscle mass and many have more active jobs. My husband can eat about twice as much as me at dinner time and for some reason I thought I had to keep up with him. With all those extra calories, it was no wonder I gained so much!! Now I plate mostly veg, a little side dish and a little meat and I eat slower so we end up finishing our meals around the same time.

    If him snacking around you is an issue, make sure you keep low cal options for yourself around. He grabs chips, you grab veggie sticks. He grabs cookies, you get a piece of dark chocolate. Just make sure to leave room in your calories for any extras you may want to have.

    Good luck!
  • MissKTSW88
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    Right. With only 11 pounds to lose, you're definitely going to have to learn to be patient. It's going to be a slow steady process from here on out but that's a good thing!! The slower it comes off, the more likely you're going to keep it off. Also, take the time to learn new behaviors, which also makes maintenance a bit easier.

    How about Yoga for exercise? That might actually help with the symptoms of your tendonitis and PF. It's not going to be much of a calorie burn but it will likely help with strength and flexibility. Just be careful to listen to your body.

    I think most of us women can sympathise with relationship weight. I personally think a big part of it is portion size. For the most part, men can eat more than us just to maintain weight because they tend to have more muscle mass and many have more active jobs. My husband can eat about twice as much as me at dinner time and for some reason I thought I had to keep up with him. With all those extra calories, it was no wonder I gained so much!! Now I plate mostly veg, a little side dish and a little meat and I eat slower so we end up finishing our meals around the same time.

    If him snacking around you is an issue, make sure you keep low cal options for yourself around. He grabs chips, you grab veggie sticks. He grabs cookies, you get a piece of dark chocolate. Just make sure to leave room in your calories for any extras you may want to have.

    Good luck!

    Thanks MinnieInMaine, I never thought bout Yoga...will have to give it a try! And as for the portion size your so right and the snacking!! Hopefully with all the little tips and help from others who have been through it, I will get rid of it and them maintain it!

    Thanks again :D xxx
  • MissKTSW88
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    I will not give congrats on a 7lbs weight loss in 10 days, that would be a 2450 calorie a day defecit to drop that much fat. Hopefully it was that you were retaning some water when you did your original weigh in. The concensus on this site seems to be that if you lose weight too fast you start dropping muscle. Try to stay within your calorie goals and maintain a 1 to 2 pound a week weight loss which you should find much more easy to maintain.

    Hope I don't sound too much like a Captain Negativity. Welcome to MFP, please read the post form other sucessful members, follow their advice, and enjoy your new body that is sure to follow.

    Your right Derek...I have never had so much weight loss in one week. I logged my meals and snacks for the week and was never more than 100 off my calorie intake. Im hoping it is either retaining water as I know that i don't want to be depriving my body of what it needs and this is a lifestyle change i want and not a quick fix! I will definitely look at the forums others have posted.

    Thanks :D xxx
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    It always seems hardest to lose a small amount of weight. I expect a lot of your first 7 lbs was fluid, the rest will come off gradually as you become more active and watch what you eat. Good luck.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    1. You don't need to exercise to lose weight. Weightloss should be 80% diet and only 20% exercise. And the studies are all showing this now. There are all sorts of reasons why exercise isn't the way to go. For me its because i can't sustain it beyond a few months - 6 max is my record. For a lot of people its because they compensate by eating back what they burn off. But really people need to understand and accept that its their diets that need a lot of work and improvement. I started my diet in January this year, i've lost most of what i have to lose and have done it all without much exercise. I like to be fit but i am not very fit at the moment. I tend to go through periods of being fit and the rest of the time i'm a slob. But i can lose weight being a slob so that's ok. Almost all of us can lose weight without regular formal exercise. But another idea you could try if you really want to do a bit more is wear a pedometer or try activities that don't involve running or causing you further pain or damage to your foot such as say swimming.

    2. Is the brick wall your boyfriend who doesn't understand or is it that you haven't lost a pound since those 7.

    3. Weigh yourself every day. There's no harm in it so long as you don't get upset by the perfectly normal fluctuations of day to day. What i do is just record them each day and if they stay the same or go down over time i'm good with that. If they were to go up over time i'd adjust what i ate. Of course if they stay the same for too long, i'd adjust what I ate as well. I'd say a women's weight cycle is a month because menstruation is one factor that affects water retention. There are various others.

    4. So create some food and eating rules for yourself and stick with them. Tell them to your boyfriend or make them up with his help, and ensure that he allows you to follow them without him attempting to sabotage you. e.g. he shouldn't bring you unhealthy food, or eat highly tempting stuff in front of you or expect you to hang around in his company if he's going to do that. But maybe you can find compromises and of course you have to realise that it is you who has to do the work here, not him. So if he wants to bring you a treat, tell him the sorts of treats that are acceptable (think of a healthy treat or a non food treat), or tell him that you can receive a treat once a week but not more often. These things are up to you. But you have to try to understand how trying it is for him too. Its like those partners where one has a lot of money and the other has none. It just creates difficulties when one partner expects the other to make all the concessions. In fact i think the money dynamic could be harder than a weight discrepancy.

    5. As to where to start if you are going to rely on a better diet. Obviously you have to reduce what you eat but don't make it radical. A modest loss (half a pound a week to aim for) will bring you very quick results! Trust me. Eat a lot more vegetables and less of everything else. Finish all your meals and snacks by 7pm. Eat most of your calories earlier in the day. This helps minimise hunger. And learn how to assess your hunger and satiety. Don't eat til you are full. Eat just to being satisfied. Avoid serious hunger before it makes you ravenous. Be organised and prepared and don't expect you can go for long periods during a normal day without food.
  • sandiebeaches84
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    I am glad that you are loosing weight. It's a difficult task. My husband told me I was fat and did nothing for him, now we are in the middle of a divorce. But it's funny he is fat too. He has fitness pal and id is mlb61, he is always flirting with others girls in front of me and even gets the dirty pictures from the girls.
    It's amazing how he thinks that he looks like superman, when he is fat and has a huge belly.
    So I decided to loose weight to show him but now I am doing it for me. And I like the feeling, I have lost 20 lbs since Mar 11 2014 and I am noticing how other men are paying attention to me and I love the feeling.
    Good Luck keep up the good work.
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    Options
    I will not give congrats on a 7lbs weight loss in 10 days, that would be a 2450 calorie a day defecit to drop that much fat. Hopefully it was that you were retaning some water when you did your original weigh in. The concensus on this site seems to be that if you lose weight too fast you start dropping muscle. Try to stay within your calorie goals and maintain a 1 to 2 pound a week weight loss which you should find much more easy to maintain.

    Hope I don't sound too much like a Captain Negativity. Welcome to MFP, please read the post form other sucessful members, follow their advice, and enjoy your new body that is sure to follow.

    Your right Derek...I have never had so much weight loss in one week. I logged my meals and snacks for the week and was never more than 100 off my calorie intake. Im hoping it is either retaining water as I know that i don't want to be depriving my body of what it needs and this is a lifestyle change i want and not a quick fix! I will definitely look at the forums others have posted.

    Thanks :D xxx

    Thats awesome then. I was unable to see your diary so wasn't sure if you were starving yourself. Losing all that water and a couple pounds of fat in your first 10 days will really get you motivated and going. Best of luck to you, but you won't need luck, MFP makes it pretty easy :)
  • LanceDuvall
    LanceDuvall Posts: 66 Member
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    Hello....I tried this website back in 2007 and I guess I did something right I am down 32 lbs since 2007. Recently, I have decided to get to a more healthy weight. I have survived cancer and I also had a silent heart attack 2 artieries needed to be stented 1 @ 95% and the other 80%.....glad to be here typing this introduction. My recent numbers are all good BP and Cholestrol are under control with the aid of medication and I also need to be on anti-plaque medicine for the rest of my life.

    Just celebrated my 56th birthday and my 2nd grandchild was born a few weeks ago so I would to be around for a while to see them grow up.

    I have a great exercise ethic but with that ethic comes the need to eat more and using it as an excuse to over eat and consumation of alcholic beverages.

    Current weight is 217 lbs, I have set a goal of 175 lbs. Weight has been a life long struggle that has had many ups and downs and most likely the cause of my illnesses (unhealthy eating and alcohol). I'm really close to getting a handle on this the ups and downs are not as wide.

    My plan is to continue to exercise, eat healthy and eliminate my daily ice cream habit and to eliminate alcohol.

    I wish all luck with their journey

    George
  • MisRka
    MisRka Posts: 27 Member
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    Hi! I also have a bit of relationship weight to loose. I was married this spring and gained over 10 lbs just on my honeymoon! Needless to say I came to MFP to help me loose it. We have similar goals and it would be great to cheer each other along the way! I have sent you a friend add :smile: