Restoring my body from anorexia

I lost 1/3 of my body weight due to an illness (unrelated to anorexia but it left me at 5'10 near 100 lbs) and struggled for a long time afterwards to add the weight back on. And even though I was desperate to return to a normal weight, I did become afraid of becoming fat or experiencing the "NFL effect" of gaining lots of fat quickly and then fighting to turn it into muscle for years afterwards even if at a normal weight. My doctor was adamant that I not exercise because I was so low in body weight that I needed all the calories that I could get. But as an athlete it was killing me mentally to not be moving around and I finally started exercising despite my doctors orders.

I started biking to work and school, nothing much, like 30 minutes of light cardio a day. But it was enough for my muscles to need to spring into action and the weight came back on like magic. Take that Dr. _____! Within a month I had gained two pounds with no calorie adjustment and stayed on that weight trajectory until I reached the low end of the normal weight range and could focus on more detailed nutrition as opposed to pure weight gain.

It was a slow process though (and you want it to be a slow process to not stress your body, especially your heart). Within 1.5 years I had reached 140-145 lbs, and I spent the next year turning all the extra fat I gained into muscle (your body will put on more fat than muscle at first, which is very scary, but once your metabolism figures out that its not supposed to be in starvation mode your muscle to fat ratio will drastically improve).

Having been through all of that (and now that I am trying to put on more muscle since I am weight lifting) here's my advice:
* It sounds like you're already eating at least 1200 calories. That really great. hold onto that number for about a month to let your body get used to turning all that fuel into energy.
* Use this tool to find out how many calories a person with a *normal* metabolism should be eating at your goal weight: http://www.fat2fittools.com/tools/bmr/
* Then add only about 100 calories to your diet every 2-3 weeks - this helps your body & mind adjust to the added calories and lets your metabolism catch up. Stop when you reach your goal weight's calorie intake and hold onto that for a month. See how your body reacts, still gaining weight? Stay there for a while longer. Stopped gaining weight? Maybe you're exercising more than you think, add another 100 calories.
* Only add 1-2 pounds a month - you don't want to stress your body or your heart. The first pound or two might take a while, if you suddenly find that you gain 3-4 pounds very fast, don't worry it's all water weight and will disappear in a week. Adding 700 calories a week means that you should put on about 1-1.5 pounds a month, max.
* It will take a long time for your brain to learn that you won't get fat on an extra 100 calories a day. So I will repeat **you will not get fat eating an extra 100 calories a day**. You will barely gain weight on 100 extra calories a day, especially with 20-30 minutes of light cardio or exercise a day. This is what you want.
* Make sure to sleep. As "sleep when you're dead" kind of person this was the hardest for me. Sleep helps your metabolism function normally, your brain to be less depressed, and generally all around goodness. Read this as to why: http://breakingmuscle.com/health-medicine/how-sleep-deprivation-fries-your-hormones-your-immune-system-and-your-brain

At some point start playing around with your carb/fat/protein macro nutrient goals on MyFitnessPal (very easy if you're logging everything). It took a while of trial and error to find that I feel and perform my best at a 50% protein. 20% fat, 30% carb mix. I used to operate at 50/15/35, that 5% shift from carbs to fat made a *HUGE* difference in how I felt everyday. I'm not anal about it day to day, but I try to make sure that I mostly hit my targets each day and have been known to eat a spoonful of high quality olive oil or coconut oil right before bed if my fat macros aren't close to target for the day (my biggest issue).

Just a general tidbit, there's been a lot of research recently that has come out saying that it takes 3-4 days for your gut to adjust to changes in your diet. If you're making drastic changes, expect to feel like crap for those 3-4 days. A little better the next 2-3 and back to normal the next week. Your body may function a little differently but will likely follow a similar pattern. This could be part of your fatigue, though likely wouldn't explain all of it.

Good luck and feel free to ping back with questions, I'll try to pay attention to this forum to answer them.

Just remember, slow and steady wins the race. If you can, get professional help for the mental stuff. I had a nutritionist/wellness counselor and even with professional help and no eating disorder it was tough. I might also try to take 5 minutes each day for yourself. Try really focusing on all the things you like about yourself, stare at a pretty flower, count your breathing, recite all the reasons you love cat or Dr Who or running (I do this all the time, it's surprisingly refreshing). You'll think you're stupid for like two weeks but by the third week of doing this every day you will relish your 5 minutes alone with your brain.

What does your doctor suggest?

You really need to consult your professional on this, but I'm sure you need to be eating more than 1200 cals plus snacks. You don't say what the meals are or what the snacks are. It's far too little food for weight gain.

My suggestion is that you eat from all food groups:
Meats, dairy (if not lactose intolerant), fish, grains, vegetables, fruit, fats/oils. Eat whatever you want, but vary it a lot. I doubt sitting and eating cake for every meal will benefit you in the long run because you don't just need weight, you need nutrients.

I recommend you make some meal plans up with foods you like to eat. Include all the groups. Take it to your registered dietician and/or doctor, or whichever professional is advising you. Ask them to help you balance it out. But more importantly, actually eat what the meal plan says.

Day 1 may look like this:

BF:
2 eggs scrambled with cheese
Pancakes/french toast with butter and syrup
2 slices bacon/ham
Piece of fruit (whatever you like)
Glass of milk

SNK:
Celery Sticks with Peanut Butter or
Yogurt with Granola

LN:
Wheat bread sandwich with cold cuts, cheese and veggies and all the condiments you like
Soup (any kind you like)
Chips and Guacamole
Glass of milk

SNK:
Handful of nuts
Piece of fruit
Tea with cream and honey

DNR:
Stew with beef, potatoes, carrots, etc. (however you like it)
Bread with butter
Other veggies (any you like to eat)

DSRT:
Piece of cake or cookies or brownie (whatever you like)

Don't restrict anything and eat until you are full. If you need to add more snacks, so be it. These are healthy foods, and all in moderation. You don't have to eat "junk" food to gain weight. Eat nutritious foods in abundance.

And again, if you are not seeing a professional or two to help you with this, do it.

Many wishes for full recovery and good health.

ETA: Drink water.

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